Chapter 17


The first rays of the red sun began to spread their warm light across the green sky. Animals tentatively awoke to the new day, wondering if it would be a day of peace or a day filled with screams and death. With the first timid notes of a bird's song, people in the small cottages started to wake up. Some woke up feeling that this was the first day of their new life, the beginning of something better. Others woke up feeling drained of energy, lost, angry and confused.

Some hadn't even gone to sleep. They were still walking around outside, looking for their loved ones among the heaps of people coating the former battlefield. The silence was occasionally interrupted by outburst of sorrow as someone found a brother, a sister, a father, a mother among the casualties.

Some men were trying to rid the battlefield of the bodies, with heavy hearts. The ones that were completely unrecognizable were buried. Others were put in small tents where their relatives could come and bid their last goodbyes. There was a hushed silence over Antar this day. People were mourning, but those who hadn't lost a loved one were celebrating. Still, the celebration was quiet and respectful. Because the battle had been fought, and according to the simple people on Antar, they had won. But they had lost in so many ways too.

Out in the middle of the wilderness eight tents of different sizes were arranged. Here the battle was still being fought. A battle between shock and sorrow. A battle between life and death. Inside one of the tents a little girl was sleeping as oblivious to the meaning of the new morning as she was to the outside world. Her mind had pulled back to the place where she couldn't feel, couldn't register. Where she merely existed.

In another tent a woman was sleeping, her sleep plagued with painful images and memories of a friend being badly hurt and a brother almost dying. A warrior occupied the tent next to her. But his warrior heart had become scorched. Insomnia had been his uninvited companion through the night. He had spent his waking hours guarding his friends and giving orders so that nothing would happen to or even disturb the ones he loved. His thoughts were constantly pulled back to another person though. A person not walking on this planet, but on another. The one person who could pull him together and give him peace. When would he see her again?

One tent was empty. Once filled with deep love and gentle caresses, it was now deathly empty. It was as if it was holding its breath in anticipation of what would return and when. The bigger tent was the medical tent. It was here the real battle was fought. It was here a woman was fighting against the eternal blackness with her every artificial breath. It was here a man was sitting, waiting, hoping, and crying. His family had been taken away from him in a matter of hours and, if it came to it, he would die with them.

The battle wasn't over yet. One battle had ended to give place to another and everyone was waiting. Waiting for what was to happen now. Waiting for the new life to begin. Waiting for the eyes of their loved ones to open again.

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"Max..."
The voice was gentle and soft, so as not to scare him. Still, he snapped violently out of his reverie, jumping at her voice.
"It's just me," Isabel said with the faint resemblance of a reassuring smile.
He didn't give her any sign that he had heard her. He just turned his head back towards the still body, keeping a firm grip on the hand tucked safely within his own.
Isabel swallowed and tried not to be disconcerted by his lack of presence in this world. "I brought you some food." When he didn't answer, she continued, "You have to eat something, Max."
His body was tense and unresponsive. She would probably have more success talking to a wall. She took a deep breath and put the tray with food on the floor. He might want to pull away from the real world, but she wouldn't let him. She wouldn't let him just give up on life, even if it meant that he had to live without Liz.
"I'll just leave it here and you can eat whenever you feel like it," Isabel said quietly.
She paused and looked at him, when he still wasn't acknowledging her presence.
"You need your strength, Max. If you are going to be able to help Liz..."
Her name triggered the first response in Max. His body tensed even more and he lowered his head.
Isabel bit her lower lip to prevent herself from crying and whispered hoarsely, "We are just outside if you need anything."
She took a deep breath as she turned away from the shell that Max had become. He was only a body now, his feelings, his soul, either buried or desperately trying to reach a mate that it had lost. The other half of a whole. Tears fell down her cheeks as she turned her back on her brother and left the tent.

Max closed his eyes as his sister left and let his own tears fall. He had heard every word, he just didn't have the ability to answer her. It didn't seem to matter anymore. Nothing did. He was so tired and the logical part of his brain was desperately pleading with him to lie down and sleep. But he couldn't. What if she left him while he was asleep? He clutched her hand harder in his at the thought and had to take a deep breath to calm the sudden painful emptiness and panic that was quickly filling him. It was a familiar feeling ever since she had been hurt.

The same part of his brain that told him that the sensible thing to do was to sleep was also telling him that he should eat. He cast a chaste glance towards the tray. The food didn't appeal to him at all. He didn't have an appetite. But that didn't matter. He knew that he had to eat because it would give him more energy to help Liz. Not letting go of her hand, he reached out with his free hand and took the bread from the tray and took a reluctant bite. The bread felt dry in his mouth. It tasted like a sponge, slowly swelling in his mouth, making it almost impossible to swallow. But he forced it down. Chunk after chunk, and took the glass of artificially made water to wash the bread down.

Then his focus was back on Liz.
"Baby," he whispered, "I'm gonna make you feel a little better, okay?"
Taking several deep breaths to calm himself down and focus, he simultaneously moved his hands to her hair, letting his fingers thread through her thick mane. Then he began feeding her body with his energy. He concentrated on the vital organs first, trying to repair them as best he could. It was more strenuous than usual, not only because of his own weakened condition, but also because he couldn't form a two-way connection with her since she was unconscious. Fortunately, the connection they ordinarily shared helped him some now. He knew her. He knew her body, her mind, and her soul by heart. He had memorized her entire body intimately, not only the exterior but also the interior. He had healed her so many times when she had been ill because of their blocked connection, and that knowledge helped guide him through her body now.

Three minutes later he pulled out of her mind and body with a sharp intake of breath. His whole body was trembling from the physical exertion, his energy completely drained. He only remained in the conscious state of mind for a mere two seconds before his body gave up and he passed out. His body slumped forward over Liz's abdomen, the life beneath her skin pulsating in reaction to the sudden, but comforting pressure.

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"He in there?" Michael asked, nodding towards the tent. The question was merely rhetorical; he already knew the answer.
"Yes, sir," the guard answered.
Michael nodded and brushed past the guard. His steps halted, his mouth falling open in apprehension when he saw Max slumped over Liz. He was probably just asleep, Michael told himself as he sped up his pace and grasped Max's shoulder not so very gently.
"Max?!" he hissed, shaking Max lightly.
When he didn't respond, or even stir, Michael shook him a little harder. "Max!"
Fear gripping him, Michael clumsily searched for Max's pulse on the underside of his wrist. He felt cold, but there was a pulse. Michael didn't know very much about those stuff, it was Max's area of expertise, but he would say that the pulse was weak.
"Max?!" he said again, a little louder this time. He took a hold of Max's shoulder and pulled him upwards. His eyes were closed and his head slumped forward so that his chin rested limply against his chest.

"Hey! Max!" Michael could feel the fear building in him.
Just then Serena stepped into the tent.
"Michael?" she asked and then she saw the state Max was in and quickly stepped inside the tent and walked up to Max. "What's wrong?"
"I found him like this," Michael answered.
"Okay, let's lie him down," Serena said, remaining calm. It was no riddle to her what had happened her. Max had tried to heal Liz and he had depleted his energy. Her eyes quickly registered the crumbs on the tray as she helped Michael lay Max down.
"He's eaten something," Serena said.
Michael's eyes drifted to the tray, his eyebrows furrowed in angry confusion. "So?" His attention was back on Max again.

"That's a good sign," Serena said as she slid to her knees beside her unresponsive king, "He had more energy to take from and that's perhaps what stopped him from completely destroying himself."
She jumped as Michael clapped his hands over Max's head. She quickly took a hold of his hands to silence them.
Michael turned to her with an angry look.
"What are you doing?" Serena accused.
"Trying to wake him up," Michael answered with the same tone of voice.
Serena pulled his hands down to his lap again, away from Max. "Michael, you have to let him sleep. You can't wake him up now even if you wanted to. He needs to refuel his energy."

Michael stared at Serena for a second or two, before turning his head to stare at Max's weary face. His voice was soft and fearful when he whispered the question that scared him the most, "He won't die?"
Serena didn't know how many times these hybrids have touched her heart with their care and compassion for each other. It must be wonderful to feel such things, but of course it also must be very painful in situations like these. From the day Khivar had taken over Antar and her parents had been killed in the process, her emotions had been repressed in order that she become the best possible warrior. But even ordinary people on Antar had been forced to stop feeling, to stop thinking, or they would have died from anguish under Khivar's reign. It had been so long that Serena didn't know how to feel any longer, not many people did.

She took a deep breath and smiled softly at the warrior beside her who was terrified that he would lose his best friend. "He won't die. He just needs to rest. Let's put him here beside Liz. I'm sure that's where he wants to be."
Michael nodded and together they moved Max onto the mattress. Astonished, they watched Max move his body slightly towards Liz's. As if there were a magnetic field and their bodies had been pulled towards each other.
"Is he still unconscious?" Serena asked, perplexed.
Michael actually smiled. "Yes, he is." That was just one of the many things Serena would witness about Max and Liz that would surprise and awe her.

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One week later

Michael stopped again as the muffled cries reached his ears. It wasn't his imagination. Someone was crying. After spending weeks in the company of aliens who didn't feel or if they had any feelings, didn't let them show, the sound sounded foreign to his ears. There could only be one person who would be crying, since he had just left the medical tent where Max had fallen asleep after the strain of yet another healing.

He followed the sound and stopped outside her tent. It had never been his thing to comfort. Maybe he was more like his alien men in the respect that feelings scared him. Or at least, intense feelings did. He didn't know what to say or what to do to comfort someone. But her heart-wrenching and lonely cries twisted his heart and he found himself pushing the tent fabric to the side and stepping inside the poorly lit tent.

He saw her hunched figure in the corner of the tent. Her arms tightly wrapped around her legs, her face buried in her knees, her blonde long hair, dirty and neglected, hiding her face from any outside watchers. Without a word, he closed the distance between them and sat down beside her. She hadn't noticed his presence, so when he gently touched her arm, she gave a start, the crying hitching fearfully in her throat.
"It's okay, it's just me," Michael said.
She broke apart at his words, and her crying intensified as she leaned into Michael, searching his warmth and comfort. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight, getting just as much comfort from having a warm body close as Isabel did. They sat like that for a long time, before her crying eased into broken sobs and hiccups.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"No, it's okay," he said gently.

She shook her head against his chest. "No, no. It's not okay. We are still trapped on this godforsaken planet. Liz is dying, Max is dying...with her," her voice broke and it took a while for her to regain enough strength to continue, "And Emma is just...she isn't answering. She is barely meeting my eyes. She doesn't talk. She's just...she's just...there. Like some kind of statue."
Michael knew what she was talking about. He hadn't paid too many visits to the little girl, because her condition scared him. She was like a zombie. Not talking, not seeing, not eating. Barely alive. He didn't know what they had done to her in captivity, but one thing was for sure. She was broken inside and it was on days like these that he wondered if she could ever be mended.
"Max is with her every night, after waking up from his healings... And he...he can't reach her either," she whispered, "It's killing him, Michael. He has lost them both."
"I know, I know," he said, stroking her hair.

"And the worst thing is that I can't stop thinking about home. About mom and dad. And...and Alex."
Her voice was soaked with guilt and it caused Michael to halter in his movements.
"How can I be so selfish, Michael?" Isabel asked, her voice becoming hoarse with new never-ending tears. "Max is losing his family, the one person that he has been in love with since he was in third grade is dying, and all I can think about is that I want to have Alex here with me. I want to spend Christmas with him. Laughing, opening presents. Why can't it be me?" Her voice bore a twinge of resentment now, mixed with anger and injustice.

Christmas. It was the 24th of December today. On Earth people were gathering, meeting old friends and eating and laughing. Here, there was no Christmas. Here, there was grief, frustration, darkness and death.

"I miss Maria," Michael said softly, not sure what to say to convince her that she wasn't selfish.
She sniffled and raised her head to meet his eyes that had taken on a far-away expression at the thought of Maria.
"It's been too long," she whispered.
He nodded. "I miss her so much. I feel so lost without her." She nodded, tears spilling down her already soaked cheeks.
"When do you think we'll be going home?" she asked, weary hope in her question.
Michael swallowed and closed his eyes. Before checking up on Max earlier, he had been to a meeting with Serena and Aldonis and some other well-respected people. They wanted Max to begin act like a king and take care of the planet. Antar was in shock and it needed a firm hand to pull them out of their grief. Michael had a feeling that only Serena understood him when he had tried to convince them that Max wouldn't be able to give hope to an entire nation right now. They needed a king and the situation was getting desperate.
"Soon, I think," he lied. Her hopeful smile made his heart twitch painfully.
"Thank you," she whispered before burying her face in his shirt. Gazing into the darkness, he took a tighter hold of her tired body while longing for another body to be in his arms.

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The man watched the cloth fly out of his arms and across the room. His shoulder sagged. The frustration and the meaningless of the situation smothered him. The man turned to another man who was carefully moving closer to the guarded person in the corner of the room, and spoke to him in Antarian. As he expressed his irritation, the cloth, following a forceful command from his mind, smoothly flew back into his hand. Coming to an agreement, the two men took a deep breath and once again started to move closer to the small person. The object of their attention moved her arms to cover her face and curled up even more tightly into a ball, like a hedgehog rolling up to protect itself from enemies. She whimpered as their shadow slowly fell over her body, blocking the light from her view. When the man with the washcloth reached out towards her and touched her arm, an agonized wail broke over her lips.
"What the hell are you doing?"

Both of the men jerked away from their victim at the quiet but menacing voice. They both knew who it was without even having to turn their heads towards the new arriver.
"Your Highness," the men mumbled in unison, keeping their heads bent of fear of disrespecting His Highness by meeting his eyes.
"Get away from her."
The order was clear and threatening, and the men obeyed immediately.
"Sir, we were only trying to-"
His explanation came to an end as their eyes met. "Don't ever do it again," Max said quietly, with barely restrained anger.
"No, sir. Of course not, sir." Stuttering apologies, the two men scurried out of the tent.

Slowly, as to not frighten her even more than the men obviously already had, he moved closer to her. He saw the bucket of water on the floor and the washcloths lying beside it. He knew what they had been trying to do. They had only been trying to clean her up. But when Max had stepped into the tent and heard her whimper and seen the men looming over her curled up body, his protective streak had kicked in full force. What infuriated him was that they wouldn't leave her alone, even though she obviously didn't want them doing what they were doing. She didn't even want them touching her.

The acrid odor of excrement enveloped him and he swallowed back tears together with nausea. His little vibrant girl had gone from being independent and carefree, to someone who wasn't functioning anymore. She didn't know when she needed to use the toilet. She didn't even care. Max stopped beside her body and saw her tense. She knew he was there but she didn't know whether he was friend or foe. Her eyes were hidden behind tresses of her too long bangs and her head was bent into her knees. Still, he had a feeling she was watching him. Closely.

He slowly lifted his hand and registered how she retreated even further, before moving his hand over her body, removing all traces of her faeces.
"Emma..." he whispered gently.
She whimpered and pulled herself further up the wall which barely seemed possible, considering she was already plastered to the tent wall.
"You wanna go to bed? You wanna sleep in the warm bed instead?"
He didn't expect an answer and wasn't the least surprised when he didn't receive one.
"I'm just gonna take you there. Okay, baby?"
Gently, he placed his hands on her body. She tensed, but she didn't move away. He drew a mental sigh of relief. She was willing to cooperate with him.

"I'll have to lift you up, honey." He tucked his hands under her body and lifted her. Slowly. She was like dead weight in his arms. Tensing up even more, as if trying to put as much distance between her own body and his as she could. But Max wouldn't let her. She needed to feel body contact again. She needed to learn to recognize the touch of someone who didn't wish her harm. He pulled her closer to the warmth of his own body, the stiffness of hers cutting through his heart. He straightened up and walked the short distance to the bed. He was limping some, due to one of the many injuries that hadn't been given the chance to heal properly because he had been feeding Liz's body with his energy. He lingered some, careful not to stir her too much, and slid to his knees beside the mattress and laid her there. The second his arms reluctantly left her body, she curled up again, pulling her knees up to her stomach and burying her face behind her knees. Max took a deep breath to get his strength back. Then he took the blanket and pulled it over her body, before moving out of the tent.

He unceremoniously bumped into Serena, who was waiting outside.
"She okay?" she asked.
Max scrubbed his face with his hand in an attempt to remove the weariness that had become a permanent resident in his bones.
"Yes, for the moment."
"Max, I'm sorry if those men-" Max looked up in her guilty face and shook his head, efficiently cutting off her apologies.
"They were only following orders and since aliens aren't known for their ability to feel empathy, they didn't know when to stop."
Serena's eyes clouded over with guilt. Feelings had been consuming her more and more as she spent more time in the hybrids' presence but she knew that the other aliens, the warriors, still had a long way to go before they would be able to feel emotions.

She opened her mouth to say she was sorry, but Max beat her to it. "From now on, I don't want any strangers around her. Not even you," she straightened her head and nodded, "She didn't know you before and she has only met you in captivity. I don't want her to associate anything with her time in captivity any longer. I'll take care of washing her..."
"Max, you can't do this alone. You are giving so much of your energy to Liz-"
"Isabel will be helping. She will be with Emma when I can't. I'm gonna ask Michael to keep watch. I don't want any others inside that tent. I want guards outside, but no one else inside. Got it?"
"Yes, Max," Serena nodded.
Max raked his hand through his hair, which was getting rather long from lack of attention.

"And I want diapers."
"Excuse me?" Serena looked at him confused.
"You know what diapers are?" Max asked.
Serena thought about it for a few seconds and then she remembered a text she had read on maternal care and she nodded. "Yes... But we don't have any here on Antar."
"Then make some," Max said.
"Of course," Serena said hesitantly.
"Thank you," Max said and turned to go to the medical tent. Serena took a deep breath and turned in the other direction. Max calling out her name halted her in her movements.
"Yes?" she said, turning around.

"Thank you, Serena. For everything you're doing here. Thank you."
Serena could feel her cheeks getting hot from the heartfelt praise and she ducked her head. "It's an honor, Max."

TBC…