Chapter 34: Learn to Fly

I think I'm done nursing the patience

I can wait one night

I'd give it all away if you give me one last try

We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life

Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone

Jay

Flipping through a car magazine, I rolled my eyes as I heard giggles and quiet whispers

coming from the bedroom. Could they be anymore obvious? She was laughing her little "after-sex-giggles" and he was doing his "after-sex-hushed-voice". As if the noise hadn't been enough evidence last night. Sean's bed had creaked all night; someone had gotten lucky, and it sure as hell hadn't been me. Not that I'm bitter or anything.

I sighed as I heard footsteps. Great, just what I want to see. Ellie's bedroom hair, and Sean's after glow. "Do you want some water?" Ellie called over her shoulder quietly.

"Aw, thanks, dear," I pouted my lips towards her.

She swatted me across the head and laughed. "Go to sleep, Jay."

"How can I? I had to listen to you and Sean getting all R. Kelly on me."

"R. Kelly?"

"Ya know. Bumpin' and grindin'."

She gave me a painful look. "That was bad."

I shrugged and shut my magazine. "So, it looks like you and Seany made up?"

"You can say that."

"How precious."

She stuck her tongue out at me and walked back into the bedroom. I stared after her as she forgot to close the door; my ears perked up when I heard Sean clear his throat and start talking.

"So, about last night... dinner..."

"Yeah..." Ellie laughed nervously. "You haven't forgotten?"

"You're pretty damn amazing, but nothing could erase that from my memory."

"Sean..."

"Yeah?"

"I really think we're not communicating as well as we used to. I don't listen to you, and you sure as hell don't listen to me."

"Thanks," Sean replied dryly.

"It's true. We're always jumping to conclusions. So... let me explain my side, and then I'll listen as you explain yours. No interruptions, okay?"

"Fine."

"Okay, what do you want me to explain?"

"Everything," Sean snorted. "What your mom was talking about, the whole college thing, just everything."

I give it five minutes before they're screaming at each other.

Ellie groaned. "Okay. My mom? What she said was not true."

"Thank God."

"But- it wasn't a lie, either. It was just fabricated a little."

"Great. So, your mom is really going to-..."

"No interruptions, remember?"

"Right. Go ahead."

She cleared her throat. "Okay, so my mom really blew things out of proportion last night. So did you, by the way. Anyway, I am not letting her raise Brayden. He is mine. And yours. And whatever we decided for Brayden's future has to be decided by both of us."

"I agree."

"... But Sean... I can't give up everything. And I need my parents's help for some things."

"I can help you."

"By what? Watching Brayden while I'm in class? What about you? Are you just going to quit school and not even graduate?"

"I don't care about school. I'll watch him. I'll-..."

"I don't want to be with someone who can't even finish school. I'm sorry, but that isn't what I want. And you deserve better than some minimum-wage job."

"Then there has to be another way. I mean. What about babysitters, or-..."

"What about free help? My mom is offering to watch Brayden while I am at class. And we can get a bigger place. And Brayden will almost two by the time this all even happens."

"And she's going to corrupt him."

"My mom loves him."

"Your mom loves herself."

"My mom is difficult. And weak. And she's hurt me. A lot. I'm not denying that at all."

Oh God, was she actually crying in there? This is enough to send anyone over the edge.

"But I haven't been the easiest daughter either."

"You took care of her every day while she was drunk. Nobody should have to deal with that."

"But-..."

"I watched my parents destroy themselves. And I ran away. And I didn't talk to them for four years. I don't want to see that happen to you. I just wanna protect you. And Brayden."

I think I'm going to get sick.

"But my mom is under control now. She's better."

"That's what they all say."

"Maybe. But I have to believe her because I care about her. And there's nothing you can say to change that, Sean. She's a part of my life. She's a part of your life. And she's a part of Brayden's life. No matter what."

"And what if she starts drinking again?"

"I can't think like that. I have to trust her."

"It's hard for me to trust anybody. And I don't have reason not to. You? You trust everybody. And everybody walks all over you. Explain that to me."

"There's a difference between trusting people and being a doormat. Me? I'm a doormat."

I snorted and couldn't keep the smile off my face. Ellie's so pathetic.

"I don't want Brayden growing up with grandparents that ignore him. That shove him into private schools and buy him everything, but can't even talk to him. That's not how I want his life to be. I don't want him to have the life you did."

"And the moment it's like that, that's it. The end. I won't let Brayden around them anymore."

"You mean that?"

"Yes. But you have to give my parents a chance. Promise me you'll try."

Sean hesitated. I felt my heart beating like crazy as I waited for him to answer. Woah! Since when do I even care about Sean and Ellie's relationship?

"Fine. I'll try."

An involuntary smile spread across my face. Sick. I'm actually happy right now .God dammit, Jay! Grow some balls!

I heard the nauseating sound of their lips smacking together as they started to make out. If this is a sequel to last night than I'm not buying a ticket.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Oh, Ellie, I love you so much!" I cried out in a falsetto before making gagging noises. I heard a giggle and the door being slammed. The bedsprings started creaking again.

"And that's my cue," I whispered to myself as I grabbed my coat and threw it on before leaving the apartment. But, hey, maybe I can use some of those lines on Lexi. Then I'll definitely get laid!

Sean

"Hey, Ellie. It's Sean. I just wanted to tell you about the cute thing Brayden did. So, uh,

bye." I hung up the phone and leaned back in my chair. Brayden stared back at me from his play pen, grinning and spitting bubbles. "What? You think it's funny that I can't get a hold of your mommy? Guess what. It's not."

I laughed when he stuck his tongue out and made a weird face. "Come here, turtle," I said affectionately and picked him up, holding him close to me. A knock sounded at the door, and I sighed.

"Yeah?"

"Hey..." Ellie tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and stepped forward, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"What are you doing here?" I was pleasantly surprised. Usually she calls before she comes over. Or... usually she doesn't even come over at all. I mean, let's be honest here.

She shrugged and leaned against the counter. "I was in the neighborhood. Wanted to bring this."

She held out a small gift bag to me, and I took it, adjusting Brayden to just one arm. "What is it?"

"Just open it!" She laughed. Damn, it's good to see her laugh like that again.

I reached my hand inside the bag and pulled out a grey and blue knit hat. "Did you buy this?"

"No, I made it!"

"Seriously."

"Yeah!"

"It looks great. Whaddya think, Bray-Bray? Is it cool enough for you?" I let the bag fall to the ground as I worked on getting the hat on his tiny head.

"Here, let me help." Ellie stepped forward and helped adjust the hat over Brayden's head. It fit perfectly. She ran her hand over his covered head and down his little arm, letting her hand rest on his for a moment before pulling away. "Perfect," she swallowed.

"You're doing better. I can tell," I acknowledged.

She tugged at the necklace around her throat and shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am. My parents and I had brunch with Dr. Brahm today."

"And...?"

"And we talked. It wasn't a session or anything."

"Well, I figured that. It's Sunday."

"It's getting easier. To talk. It's easier to talk now."

"I've been a screw-up. I've been so impatient and..."

"Sean, stop it. You've been amazing."

"But I could have been easier on you."

"No, I just make things difficult."

"True. I'm not going to lie," I mused. I searched her eyes. "But you can't help it sometimes, you know? You can't help this." I gestured towards Brayden.

"I can help it. I can try and get better. I can talk. And I want you to know that I really am trying. I want to be a family."

"That's all I want, too."

She smiled up at me and looked at me through lowered lashes. I swallowed hard and shifted my weight to my other foot. "So..."

"So..."

I watched as she leaned back against the counter again. Driving me completely crazy without realizing it. Her hips stuck out a little as she stood there and she looked away at the TV. I watched Brayden's eyes get sleepy and smiled. "Someone's getting tired. He needs to take his nap."

"Okay."

"I'll put him down. You wait here." I kissed her on the forehead, and she hesitantly reached out a hand to caress Brayden's cheek quickly. The image made me grin.

"Good boy," I whispered to Brayden as I lay him in his crib. "You know what Daddy needs right now, don't you? Some alone time with Mommy!" I stood over him until he fell asleep and pulled a thin blanket over him loosely. I think I'm actually pretty good at this dad thing. Who knew, huh?

"Brayden is down for his nap." I clapped my hands and rubbed them together, giving Ellie the eye.

She raised an eyebrow and wrapped her arms around me. "Oh?"

"Oh," I repeated, chuckling huskily.

"Mmm... So, what now?"

"Umm... How about we head in here?" I picked her up around her waist and carried her into the bedroom as she kissed me forcefully.

I dropped her on the bed and ran my hands down her sides. "You had every attention to seduce me, didn't you? Miniskirt... Boots..." I ran my hands down the front of her jean miniskirt and to the top of her black stiletto boots.

She leaned back against her elbows as I slowly unzipped her boots and slipped them off, one by one. "Hmmm... it's a therapy technique. Sex makes people happy, right?"

"Makes me happy..." I murmured as I caressed her now naked legs, taking in their smoothness. I trailed kisses from her ankle on up, watching her with my eyes the entire time. She bit her lip and pushed her hips up, inviting me to take off her skirt next.

I slid the denim skirt off her hips, she kicked them off the rest of the way, as I crushed my lips against hers. I couldn't take it anymore. She breathed heavily against me as she struggled with taking my ribbed undershirt off. "You're driving me crazy," she whispered in my ear.

I just smirked.

Marco

I smirked as Ellie turned the corner and came towards me. I stood up from my leaning

spot at her locker so she could open it.

"So..." I began.

"What?" She rolled her eyes, but could hardly contain her smile.

"Someone couldn't talk on the phone last night... Even though I called her probably twenty times in a row."

She laughed and shut her locker. "You were really ruining the mood. Somehow Savage Garden's I Want You didn't make the sexiest song list."

"Savage Garden? I'm honored to have that as my ringtone! So, what mood was I ruining again?"

"Forget it..."

"Would Let's Get It On have been more appropriate to hear?" I jabbed her in the ribs lightly.

"Perhaps."

"So, details."

"Pardon me?"

"Sweet? Rough? Sweaty? Long? Short? Where? What position? Good? Bad?"

"Am I in a Harlequin romance novel or something?"

"Yeah, you didn't get that memo." I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. "No, seriously, I want to hear all the kinky details."

"Marco..."

"Exactly! I'm Marco. You're best buddy. We tell each other everything!"

Ellie pulled me to a bench by one of the windows and sat down. "Okay, I'll give you all the sexy details. After dinner, we argued. Naturally. And then-..."

"You so had angry sex. God, that's awesome."

"It was hot. I'll say that. And then Sunday I went over to the apartment to drop off a hat and..."

"What were you wearing?"

"Oh, my tall boots... A skirt..."

"You temptress!" I marveled. "Ellie, you're a vixen!"

She bent over in a peal of laughter and grabbed my knee for support. "Marco!"

I couldn't keep the grin off of my face. She's laughing. She's actually bent at the waist laughing. A flash caught our attention, and we looked up.

Craig lowered his camera. "For the yearbook," he explained. He brought it back up to his eye. "Okay, now smile!"

We threw our arms around each other and pressed our cheeks together in total cheesy picture mode. Craig's camera flashed, and the moment was caught for eternity.

"You guys are incredible," Craig shook his head as he walked away. Snapping pictures of students at their lockers and walking through the hallways.

I stared at Ellie's profile. "You're happy."

She looked at me hesitantly. "You know, I think you're right. I think I'm on my way."

"You just need to keep talking. And doing things that make you happy," I encouraged earnestly.

"Being with you makes me happy. Thanks for not giving up on me."

"Did you ever give up on me? No, you stuck with me. And gave up a year of your life to help me find out who I am. And you've supported me with everything. There's no way I could let you down."

"It was my pleasure. You don't have to pay me back for anything."

"I know. But I want to."

I ruffled her hair playfully and held out my hand. "Ready?"

She put her hand in mine. "Ready."

Alex

In Walt Whitman's poem "Miracles" he lists many everyday things we take for granted as being miracles. In your literature journal, write a response about a miracle you have seen in your life.

What am I? In sixth grade? These journals are pointless. Whatever.

I've never seen a miracle. And trees and bees and stars and whatever else Whitman thought was miracle isn't. It's science. Pure, simple science. I don't think miracles exist. For instance, why does everybody call it the miracle of birth? It's a birth. It's not a miracle. It happens everyday. To every animal. We're not special just because we're humans. I mean, take my friend for instance, she had a baby. And she couldn't even hold it. How am I supposed to call that a miracle? I don't even know if she's held her baby once yet. And so her boyfriend is stuck dealing with the kid. Ha! How's that for ironic? For once the father is taking care of the baby while the mother takes time to deal with her issues. My father walked out on my mom when I was three. All I know about him is that he was a bum and liked cars. He wanted to race them. How responsible. So my entire life I've tried to be close to him by hanging out with the boys and taking shop class and dating a guy who spends all his time souping up his car. How stupid can I get? As if that makes me closer to him in any way. I don't even know what his favorite song is or what his laugh sounds like or anything. So, okay, I guess it's a miracle that Sean is actually taking responsibility for his kid and taking care of the baby all by himself. Then again, I saw Ellie and Sean acting all couple-like in the hallway. Hugging, holding hands, talking about the baby... So does that mean Ellie's getting better? Is she going to start acting like a mom? I guess I'll just have to wait and see before I jump to conclusions. But if she can pull herself out of the mess she was in before- out of all that darkness- than maybe she's a miracle in the works. So maybe a family that actually sticks together and cares about each other is a miracle. That is, if you believe in miracles.

Wow, i actually took time out of my exam schedule to write this. Kudos to me! I tried to incorporate different POVs so I hope it was enjoyable. Next chapter- I think Ellie and her mom are going to babysit Brayden while Sean has a boys night out. And... who knows.

comments/suggestions always welcome!

thanks for sticking with it!