Chapter 10: Tour Guide

Saturday, June 14th, 2005

"I'm—not—having—fun!"

"Seriously? Well, you will be later. I'll show you the river myself, and it's really quite lovely. I'll even help you out with your memory loss. For now, though, stay quiet. Technically, I'm not even supposed to take you out of the castle."

"Then why are you?"

"Because it's FUN!"

"I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT—"

Botan rises, in two seconds, to the maximum altitude in this building with the top of her head grazing the ceiling, causing the rest of the words to get caught in my throat from the shock of acceleration. She smiles down at me. "You look so scared."

"I—I'M ABOUT TO FALL!" I screech. I swing my legs back and forth hopelessly and grab even harder with my sweating hands. "HELP!"

"SHHH! You won't fall, don't worry. Yusuke didn't and you're much stronger than he is. I believe in you."

"Don't believe in me. I'm begging you. Can't I just ride up there with you?"

She grins and sticks out her tongue. "Nope."

Before I can answer, the paddle shoots forward at Mach2 and I scream so hard as the propulsion actually lifts me so that the entire front half of my body is facing the ground. I can feel air rushing at me from all sides, simply trying to take my body off this horrible contraption of hell.

And, just as quickly as it came, it stops. I pant hard and my body returns to vertical level. I refasten my grip to the oar and stare all around me. I…I think we just went out a window, no? Now, I'm in a kind of sparkly clear mist that, well, it isn't really mist because it isn't wet. It's more like evaporated cotton, soft and cuddly. I wave my head around and inhale the mist and it smells just like cotton. Hm…

Swiveling my head as far back as it can go, I see a huge red/white thing—oh, it's just the castle. It has three towers each connected by a gate. Squinting, I can see a small open window. Man, we fit through that? The castle…the castle is surrounded by ground, it seems, but it's very vague under the cotton mist. I look at the castle itself. It's built in…in an Oriental style! Yes, it almost looks Chinese or something. It has the typical white, narrow towers combined with the bright red tiers surrounding each level, the kind that curve upwards at the edges. I'm not in Kansas anymore. I'm just surrounded by…cotton candy clouds.

"This is the spirit world." The girl called Botan tells me evenly, after I've gotten used to the shock of it all. "I guess Koenma told you that?"

"But I didn't really understand what he meant." I say, completely awestruck. "What is this place?"

"I just told you. The spirit world. Think of it as the human soul exchange. When something dies in the human world, they are sent here to be cleared for either heaven or hell. It means a fair bit of paperwork for Koenma, let me tell you."

"Koenma is God? But he's a shrimp baby!"

"No, he's the son of God. Enma is God in Japanese mythology, and—"

"I'm in Japan?"

"No."

"The castle is Japanese architecture, though."

"You're in the spirit world. Stop questioning it. The Spirit World is seen as you think it should be seen."

"But I've never even been to Japan."

"You're speaking its language, aren't you?"

"What? Uh, I guess I am…was I ever to Japan?"

Sigh. "Back to the subject. Think of it as that Enma decides formally whether mortals go to heaven or hell, and Koenma gets all the grunt work. See, over there is the Gate of Judgment." She points to a huge cube in the distance, almost entirely hidden in the mist. A small square opening in front reveals from inside a light green light, or gas, or something. I swallow hard, and then, the truth of it all hits me. I know why I'm here now.

"I'm…dead, aren't I?"

She gives me a sideways look, although with a big grin. "What makes you think that?"

"W-well…" I swallow. "I can't remember anything about my past. Nothing. Zilch. It's really freaking me out. I can speak Japanese, which implies that I was once in Japan, yet I can't remember it. If I'm dead, it makes sense. You, the river guide, took me to the River Styx to break it to me that I'm going down it. To hell. What did I do in my life? What happened? Why am I going to hell? Is it going to hurt, going down the river? Are you going to drop me in or swim me down it since you're the guide to it?"

She sighs. "For one thing, I don't have the authority to send you down the river. I'd have had to take you to Enma and then to the gate of judgment to find out. Of course you aren't dead. That's the most boneheaded thing I've ever heard from such a bright girl." She chortles.

"I'm not bright! If I were bright I wouldn't be losing my mind! If I were bright, I wouldn't be dead right now! If I were bright, a talking baby wouldn't have tried to explain to me my past life! IF I WERE BRIGHT I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS! I WOULD AT LEAST REMEMBER WHAT I EVEN DID TO DESERVE THIS!"

She huffs, and angles herself downward, and begins to dive at a sharp angle, although very slowly. I'm forced to look down as well, and a see two thick curving lines, parallel to each other, extending for miles each way. The space between them is a sparkling blue.

"Yup. The River Styx." We go closer, and I grip ever tighter, feeling the cottony air swoosh past my face. "Don't worry, I won't let you fall. If you would, I'd get in big trouble at work." We finally hover just above it, and she rights herself in the air. "Now you can sit up here, just because I like you. I didn't like Yusuke. Fantasized too much about kicking Sir Enma in the balls."

I blink, not sure if she's kidding. Kicking God? This Yusuke must be really dim. She grabs my wrist with both of her hands, still balancing perfectly on the oar, and hoists me up next to her. I wobble a little and somehow keep my balance next to her. I just gaze down at the endless river and hold on tighter. A slight gurgling becomes apparent. The river is inviting me. It's not just sparkling, it's glowing. A very attractive glow indeed.

"Well, I'll get right to it, because we don't have much time out here before they realize you're gone. You wonder why you can't remember anything useful? Well, truth of the matter is, your memories have been forcibly suppressed by our team."

"What?"

"It's okay, it's nothing to worry about. I'm actually an expert in memory suppression. Ever wonder how I stay so cheerful?"

"Yes. You're really quite sickening."

"…Thanks. Well, all my bad memories have been put at the back of my brain where they can't hurt me. Same with you. I was once a very bitter person, just like you. I had a lot of bad memories, but once I imprisoned them, I felt fine."

"But why would they do that? I want my memories! How am I going to remember how to eat? How do I even remember how to speak Japanese? What is up here?"

"We only erased your memories of us, Katrina. You see, when we got you, and please don't ask me how we got you, you were in an incredible depression. You nearly killed Yuk—well, no, no, no. But it was clear that you were…very distraught, so we thought it best to erase all the memories that were causing you pain." She suddenly grabs my left wrist. I try to wrench it away but she pulls it against my will. "See?" She holds it out in front of me and I can see two scabbed gashes running along the inside of my forearm.

I think I saw scars like these in a Cold Case File once. They found the cuts on a girl lying in her boyfriend's bathtub, dead. They said it was suicide. Oh no. "I cut myself? I CUT MYSELF? What the hell was I thinking? Suicidal people are cowards! It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem! If they thought they couldn't handle it, well—"

"Apparently, you couldn't handle it either, so don't be condescending. Most of the memories that were hurting you so deeply happened here, in this world alternate to the human world. So, we simply took away all of your adventures here and your past as well, so you wouldn't confuse anything. And, just for the record, you can still speak because speaking isn't a memory, it's an instinct. Anything else you can remember, such as martial arts, or eating, or even putting on makeup, those are not memories. We took away the things that happened here, basically."

"I was here before? But I have absolutely no memory of this place!"

She sighs. "Gracious, I need to alert Koenma. Apparently, erasing memories erases IQ points as well. I keep telling you, again and again, THE MEMORY IS HIDDEN FROM YOU! There is nothing you yourself can do to bring it back, so of course you don't remember this place. Understand now?"

"It's just that…" She glares at me in warning. "WELL THEN, you tell me what happened that I can't remember." I hiss at her. "Since you're being a pig and all…at least help me out."

"Well, that would defeat the purpose, now, wouldn't it?" She gives a little laugh. "If I told you all the stuff you forgot, you might chop off your own head rather than your wrist. And your head is too pretty." She ruffles my hair.

"…YOU AREN'T HELPING AT ALL! YOU TAKE AWAY ALL MY MEMORIES AND THEN WHAT? AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO LIVE HERE NOW? WITH A BLUE HAIRED LUNATIC AND A MATTRESS THIEF? HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME? WHY BRING ME HERE?"

She puts her finger over my lips. "We're protecting you, believe it or not. So, yes, you get to live with us. Be excited. It's going to be so much fun. You don't need to know anything."

"Protecting me? From what? Tell me, damn it!"

"If I told you that, I think you'd probably remember the worst memory of your existence. Katrina, know this if nothing else: even though you can't remember us, you're among friends."

"How do I know, though?" I cry out. "It's not that I don't want to trust you, okay? You seem dotty borderline stupid but nice. Not evil."

"Thanks?"

"It's not that I don't want to trust you. It's that I don't think I can. I don't know you. I don't know for sure that you were ever in my lost memories. Maybe I never will. I can't just trust you like that."

She smiles happily, ironic to the situation. "Well then, how about you make that decision on your own about whether we're good? Just give it a little time, and I think you'll remember even a little bit about us. AH!" She yelps, and pats her right hip. Her eyes widen. "Oh no. Hold on. I think they know we're out here…hold on tight."

"Why?" Completely bewildered, I stare at her hip, and I see a little round bulge there. A communication?

Then, I see why I need to hold on. She whirls around and shoots so fast towards the castle that my eyes almost completely dry up with the wind before, yay for brains, I shut them. The ride is over in the blink of an eye. Not kidding. My fingers loosen and oddly feel a falling sensation, and then I crash hard on the castle floor beneath me. Botan lands softly beside me, and the paddle makes that funny tinkling noise and yellow flash that it does when it appears or disappears.

I push my aching body up to look at her long mane of blue hair. She's suddenly standing very regally, staring straight ahead, hands folded in front of her. And I suddenly see why.

"Lord Kurama-sama!" She does this funky little curtsy/bow. "Why are you here?" She says it with cheer that's huge even for her.

"I told you, stop it with the –sama." Kurama mutters, looking away from Botan. "It makes me feel like a duck." He looks down with that creepy gaze and seems to register me on the ground. "I thought I told you not to beat up the prisoner, Botan."

Apparently it was a joke because she laughs pronouncedly. Do I smell a girlish crush? "Oh, no, not at all! I just caught her! She was trying to run away. God, this girl is not a morning person, is she?"

"She thinks that we're going to poison her food." Kurama sighs, looking back up at Botan. "Good job finding her. But I have some news. You never answered your Commir so I'm here right now." He pulls her away from me and begins whispering into her ear. She actually blushes with their faces so close. Grr, why do I feel this over protectiveness of this man Kurama? I don't like him that way, it's more of a relative thing…was this what Botan meant by some memories resurfacing? Hm…so Kurama is a relative…

I slowly crawl over to hear what they're saying, but it's impossible—Botan's hair coupled with his completely muffles his voice.

Finally, they back away, and I sigh in relief. Botan says, very quietly, "Near here?"

"It was a much weaker signal, but it was there nonetheless. Be honest. Did you take Katrina outside at all?"

I blink at my name. Botan says seriously, "No, only I went out."

He sighs. " Don't lie to me. You know you're not supposed to take Katrina outdoors. Somehow the evil being can detect her wherever she is."

"What? What?" I ask. "What evil being?"

He groans and looks at me. "Stop eavesdropping. It's nothing. It's just a faulty system—"

Botan almost says something, but Kurama clamps a hand over her mouth. Kurama rubs his forehead and gives her the funniest exasperated face I've ever seen on a human. Botan covers her own mouth when he stops holding it, and Kurama continues.

"Let us handle it. We didn't say evil being, for the record, we said weevil wing."

"I'm being detected by a weevil wing?"

"A possessed weevil wing…" He says forlornly.

Botan mutters to him, "For you, that wasn't very good."

Kurama huffs at her. "I'm just saying, if you take Katrina out again, it will be very dangerous for her and for you. Leave her alone. She doesn't need to be outside, don't you see? She's only protected when she's inside."

He sighs and turns back to me. He blushes a little. "Keiko will give you some real clothes and then…then, you can keep the cloak, okay? I don't want it. You can even burn it."

I look down, and I find I can really understand his feelings. If he was wearing my cloak over his naked body, I don't think I'd want it back either.

This time, he really leaves, walking evenly down the hall.

I look up at Botan. She's touching the ear he whispered in. Then, she remembers my presence, and turns back to me, full of cheer as usual. "Okay, I know you have a question or two. So, let me explain." She pauses.

"Uh…go on…"

"Great! Keep this a secret, but you can't go outside because you'll be stolen away. You're only protected from the…uh, weevil thing…when you're inside."

"Um…"

"You don't get it? GREAT! I can't get in trouble for making you remember anything you shouldn't. Just remember to never go outside!"

I just stare at her.

"Hey, I have an idea! Let me be your travel guide, okay?"

I somehow overcome my confusion. "You're already my river guide. You know, on the day I go to hell?"

"No, no, I'll introduce you to everyone! I'll give you their stats and their relation to you!"

"But I don't know if you're lying or not, remember?"

"You are too suspicious. First off, Kurama. He's a—ooh! Wait! Do you remember about spirits and demons?"

"…Should I?"

"Well then! A spirit is one of me and generally good. A demon is Kurama and generally bad. Think of it as a Yin-Yang relationship."

"Kurama is a demon? Should this worry me?"

"No, silly! He's one of the few good kinds. The spot of white in the Yin. The other good demons you'll meet are Yukina, an ice demon, and Hiei, a fire demon. Okay then, Kurama stats! He's a fox demon trapped in a human's body. He's very serious and smart and so h—yeah. Hahahahaha. He's also single."

"Oh, you noticed?" I say to her with meaning in my eyes and a slight smirk.

She goes red. "WELL! HAHAHAHAHA! That's all for that, then! Wait…wait…I shouldn't have told you all that yet…crap…" She goes pretty pale. "Uh-oh…"

"You really suck at secrets." I mutter.

"I see that now. Don't ask me anything else. I've already told you way too much."

"What, is there a laundry list on what I should be told?"

"Yes. Otherwise, the shock would probably kill you. I'm surprised you're still alive." She feels my forehead. I push her hand away disgustedly.

"I'm fine."

"Oh, right. But ANYWAY! I'll be your guide. I'll tell you about everyone except yourself. I'm so glad we're friends!" She actually hugs me again.

"Don't push it, freak."

"This will be so much fun! I haven't had much time to talk to Keiko, so now I can be with you instead while you get adjusted!"

"You have got to be kidding me. Go away."

"How cold! I only want to help!"

"DON'T HELP ME."

"But you need help! You really, really do. Whether you see it yourself or not, you don't even know where the bathroom is."

"…" She fights really dirty. How can she use that to her advantage? And why NOW? Oh, why now?

She just smirks at my discomfort, and leads the way to the bathroom.

She's won. And the stupid bitch knows it, too.

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Author's Note: So, yes, now Mie is comatose and Botan took her place, following Katrina wherever she went and (gasp) IRRITATING her! NOOOOOOOO! (In a random mood). So, what do you think of the change of pace? R and R! Update: Characters that are pretty much gone: all of Katrina's Jun School friends besides Keiko (Kanerusa, Akane, Nabiki, Flomiki) and her father too, he's not going to come in until much later. Well, Mie is another story…(big plans forming in crazy head)…