This entire chapter is about her debating about breakfast. Don't ask.

Chapter 11: Breakfast or Escape: The Decision

Saturday, June 14th, 2005

I know. I have the perfect plan. I'll do exactly to her as what I did to Kurama. I'll run away and she'll never find me. Unless I run into another sugar loaded spirit whose dearest wish is to become the hooded messenger of death, and I doubt that. Botan is really one of a kind. Tell me how many people have a captive and they just walk ahead, humming so loudly I can hardly hear myself think? I don't even have to be sneaky. She'll never hear me above all that racket. I'm not bashing the song…it's actually kind of pretty. But it's one that should be sung quiet and beautiful, not with someone's voice that resembles a musical saw. She cracks on almost every note, high and low. Shudder.

But, all to the common cause, right? I smirk and stop dead in my tracks. She continues along the hallway, right on her way, with not a care in the world. Must be nice. I watch her disappear all the way down the hallway and into a left fork where she vanishes out of sight. I instantly turn around and run like a fairy, as light and quickly as I can, like someone in the…oh, what was that sport with all the flags in it? CRAP! I really have lost my memory. It's almost as though my mind was a dictionary…they erased all the words and left me with nothing but definitions. My feet make soft tapping noises on the stone floor, not loud enough to rouse anyone. It's breakfast time, anyway, so most fairies, or whatever that Botan said she was, are probably still sleeping.

Tap, tap, tap. Nothing so far. Yes. I'm making good timing too, for running in a dark cloak that goes down to my knees. God knows how that knot is still holding just outside my armpit. One of these steps, it's going to fall right off, and I'll be a porn artist charging through the halls. You know, maybe that's not a bad idea. They might be so shocked at seeing a naked person that they'll be too stunned to do anything. But, I don't like that idea very much at all…no, I think I'll take my chances and not be a stripper. If I'm going to run away, I'm going to need proper clothing.

I suddenly slow down. I didn't even think of that. I need to get out of this castle, and into that cotton-stuffed air. But is there really a ground? I mean, what I saw around the castle hinted at a ground, but I don't really know. I mean, I don't believe her about how evil is hunting me and that's why I can't go out. Maybe it's the fact that this is a castle in the sky, and this really is the spirit world. If I were to step out, maybe I'd go splat down on the pavement of New York City. But if that were the case, why wouldn't she have just said that? Why make up a story of good and evil?

WAIT! There MUST be ground! These people brought me here, right? Jeez, I'm so stupid! How could I even this it was in the sky? If they flew me, where would they park their jet? God, they were so convincing, I almost fell for their mind game. I think, not that these people want to protect me from evil, but that they want to use me for something. This is probably some sort of CIA extension, of people with wildly blue hair that can fly. It's all an act, maybe even an illusion. I'm going to be some experiment. They tranquilized me, kidnapped me, and put me on some kind of drug to make me forget my past so I wouldn't argue with them. That's it. Maybe I have an ultra rare left pinky or something.

Where the hell is the door out of here? I can't waste anymore time. Who knows when that dum-dum realizes I'm gone and gets Kurama after me? Kurama's no dum-dum, that's for sure. I start running again, beads of sweat starting to collect on my forehead. True, these people haven't done anything bad to me yet, but who knows what will happen when they see that I've evaded their breakfast-poisoning scheme once again?

Sprinting headlong, my predator-prey stamina starts to wear off. Naturally, I get a huge pain in my side. A mega-stitch. A stitch to remember…a stitch far beyond anything known to mankind. The kind of pain like when you get run over by a Honda. But maybe it's because it's coupled with the burning pain in my stomach from lack of food. Clutching my side and gasping for air, I violently halt and lean up against the wall. The hallway looks no different. This whole place is some kind of maze where everything is identical. I can't tell if I'm even going in a circle or not.

I look up at the roof overhead. Identical the whole nine yards. Forget it. There are no distinguishing features. Just blank stone floors, white walls, evenly spaced rooms, and high walls and windows. WINDOWS! MY GOD, I HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT DUMDUMS!

I gasp as I see one. I can tell the glass covering it is shut tightly, but what if I were able to climb up there AND GET AWAY…no, forget it. Unless I had a paddle like Botan…no, forget it. This is probably a dream. A dream of the CIA gone mad. Interesting. Besides, only she, Botan, can conjure such a paddle. Someone normal like me would never be able to.

You know what? Forget it. I'm going to try. At least until I get my strength back.

I hold out my tired, aching arm tiredly in front of me. "Paddle! Come!" Nothing happens. "Here boy! Come on! I know you can!"

I feel a slight tingle in my fingers but I think it's loss of circulation.

"Come on! Come on! Please…come on…"

I drop my arm by my side again. I am so worn out. I need to find a door out of here. I can't fly and I certainly can't scale a perfectly smooth wall. Not even on a good day. What was I thinking, trying to conjure a paddle? If I ever get out of here, I'm going to go nuts. Actually, scratch that. I already am nuts. I mean, calling a nonexistent paddle? Trying to run out of castle in the sky? RRRGH, it's NOT a castle in the sky! Even trying to rationalize things doesn't work. All I get in my head is loony, crazy, and insanity.

You know what? I accept that I'm going nuts. I will call that paddle if it kills me. I raise my arm again and shift it accidentally so that the palm faces upward instead of down and I see the scab on my left wrist. That huge, ugly, wicked cross shape.

I inhale sharply and look at it again. It's repulsive and fascinating all at once. I bring it closer to my face. What was I, before the CIA captured me? Is that much of their story true, that they found me on the streets, completely destitute? Was I a whore? Was I a drug addict? Is that why I'm insane? Am I in withdrawal from that one drug…damn it, I can't remember the name. But am I?

You know what? I probably was on the streets. Maybe I don't have a home to run to. Because, I know if I had a home, I wouldn't cut myself. I wonder what drove me to it? Was I really sad? Was I stressed? Could I not get my drugs? Is there any point in running away now?

I blink. You know what? If I truly don't have a home, if I was truly a beggar or a prostitute or whatever, there isn't any point in running back to it. If I was really all alone in the human world down there, if I had no siblings and no parents, there is no point in going back. Anywhere is better than that.

So…so, what am I saying? Am I actually willing to stay here?

I glance at the cut again and shut my eyes, feeling sick. I bury my arm in the cloak.

…I can't afford to run. Even if they're going to do experiments on me, even if they intend to destroy me in the end, it's better than a slow end to a meaningless life. Right.

I pant harder as I consider this decision. Am I truly ready to risk this? Am I willing to bet that they won't hurt me? Am I willing to put my life on the line for a guess?

I become more conscious of the cut. Suicidal people can't handle their lives so they see that as the only way out. Botan had told me, 'Apparently, you couldn't handle it either.' I don't want to go back to that, to not knowing what to do. Anything is better than resorting to cutting because life just isn't worth it anymore.

I turn back towards the way I came. I stare down the hallway. Last chance. I can go after Botan and get some food and oh god PLEASE let there be a rest room. Or…I can run away to an unknown future of what I was before my memories were erased. I could risk staying here, or risk running away. Either of which are such great risks. Staying here with people that are seemingly kind and they have abundant food. Breakfast or escape? Food or freedom? Risk 1 or risk 2?

Suddenly, before I've decided completely, my feet start plodding and pulling me back towards where Botan went. Apparently, it's been decided. I'm going to be here a while.

Breakfast…

Ignoring my hunger and stitch, I start running again, back along the corridor, back up the stairs, back past all the brown-doored rooms, back to where I started.

Finally, I start to see a change in the monotonous hallways. They become noticeably more narrow, and there's a great smell wafting over them. Yes, this was definitely where I started. The smell is amazing. It's salty and sugary, like bacon, and doughnuts, and eggs, and toast, and plain old cereal, and butter, and milk, and orange juice, and everything that means most in the world right now…

All I have to do is follow my nose. I find that bend in the hallway, and if I hadn't known that Botan had gone down the leftmost of the diverting ways, I'd have been able to follow my nose to the place anyway. Forced to walk out of tiredness, I continue at a brisk pace. Maybe they'll have ham…salted yummy ham…

Finally, when I'm about to give up and walk away, I come to a bright red-green-yellow striped door that stands out above all the other ordinary oak doors. (This sort of looks like…like one of those buildings where lots of people work together…OFFICE BUILDING! That was it…goddamn memory…) It's definitely the place of all that wonderful smell. And it's a set of double doors, the kind without a knob that you can push open, and I don't even consider my options by that point. There was only ham, and that heavenly smell, looming in front of me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I take a deep breath and push open the door.

Noise immediately shoots through at me, deafening me, as well as a dazzling white light. I gasp and try to evade the pulse of the sound, and praying for God to save my eardrums and retinas, when it all gets quiet in two seconds.

What the hell did I just get myself into? I have this horrible sense of foreboding.

"See, Kurama? I told you she wouldn't be able to resist the food. Like they say, food over flight." Says a cheery voice I recognize.

"Fight over flight. Your analogy sucks."

"But I was right, wasn't I? I knew she wouldn't leave us."

"That didn't make it smart."

My eyes slowly get adjusted to the brightness. My eyes were really used to the unlit hallway. I squint around at them. They're all sitting at a large round table. There's the baby thing Koenma in a blue high chair and a lace bib (GROSS!) and Kurama next to him, looking solemn as usual, other than the fact that he's arguing with Botan heatedly. And Botan is next to him, unsurprisingly. Then, there's an empty chair, and then Great Mattress Thief Yukimura Keiko with a bruise on her neck. Lastly, there's Yukina right next to Keiko. Damn, she looks like Botan. Then 3 other chairs separate her from Koenma. And they're all staring at me, Koenma and Kurama with indifference, Botan with a scary happy look, and Keiko looking pleased to see me. Yukina isn't even looking at me, but at the floor. Either that or my feet. I notice she has a large rip in her kimono near the collarbone that I didn't see before. There's a scratch underneath it. Did an animal attack her?

The room itself isn't very large, but there is a huge lamp hanging over them all, casting the leftmost wall into shadow. I don't know why I expected anything different. Maybe it was the rainbow door.

"She would have run if she could. She probably just realized it was futile and came here for something to eat. It would be the sensible thing to do, and she's a sensible person."

"She'd never run! We got along too well!"

Finally, my eyes adjust completely. Botan has a huge smile on, and she motions for me to come closer. I debate furiously inside my mind. "Come on, sit! You came, so you might as well eat!"

I didn't even think to notice the food. It's neatly arranged on the table…and everything I dreamed it would be. All sorts of breakfast sandwiches and toast and eggs…and…oh…ham…ham, just sitting there, in the center, waiting to be eaten…

I have to agree with Botan. I just might as well eat. It took everything I had to drag myself here. In other words, I might as well get what I came for. Apprehensive again, I hesitantly move closer, and Botan pats the empty seat in between her and Keiko. I grumble and instead try to sit in the middle seat in the chain of three empty ones, so I'm not next to any of these strange people. My stomach growls loudly. But, naturally, Keiko pulls on my cloak when I'm not expecting it, trying to get me to come to the seat Botan picked. I screech and jump backwards, (is this girl more than a thief?) holding my towel tightly around my body. I slip on a crumb of dropped food, and hurl backwards.

I hit, not a wall, but someone.

I can feel that squishy, alive feeling you get when you knock into someone accidentally. I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, supporting me so as not to mash them into the wall. I screech again and move away so fast the hand comes off. What an incredibly hot hand! I whirl around.

I stare in shock. I swear, there was not a person there before, but somehow he just materialized. It's a teenage boy (is he a teen?) that's almost three inches shorter than me. He has the look of a little animal like a shrew or something, with wild black hair shaped like a cone on top of his little head with a streak of spiky white in front, large eyes that are mostly white with small red irises in the middle, and a pointed little face and ears like an elf. He has a long black cloak covering his body too, just like me.

I snicker. "Cloak buddies." I say to myself, warding off my little scare.

"What?" He has a kind of sharp voice, too. Sharp like his nose.

"Cloak buddies." I say louder. "You have a cloak and I have a cloak. Cloak buddies."

The boy says nothing except give me a strange look.

Awkward. What am I supposed to say? Oh, right, how about I ask his name. It seems like a good way to start.

It's almost out of my mouth when all of a sudden, Botan pops up beside us. She has the look of someone desperately trying to keep a secret. Looking meaningfully at me, she mashes her cheek against mine and begins whispering fervently in my ear, "This is Hiei. Hiei, got it? Act like you remember him! He's your boyfriend."

I'm about to tell her to get the hell off my face, but then, I see a small patterned stick sticking out of the boy's cloak. Could that be the hilt to a sword? See, now how did I know that? And since when did I have a freaking boyfriend? Could Botan actually be telling the truth? Nah, no way. I seriously doubt that there's any way that I would ever date a guy like that. I mean, I'd like someone smart and funny, not a freaking samurai warrior.

You know what, maybe the fact that she's so nervous is that he'll kill me with his Samurai Warrior Powers if I don't act like I remember him. Oh damn oh damn oh damn.

Botan moves back behind me. The boy I now know to be called Hiei gives me a questioning look.

You know what, I have to play this smooth. Real smooth. For right now, if there's even the slightest chance that Botan's story is right, I have to build on that completely. Let's just see if it's even possible to pull this off. I grin wildly all of a sudden and say, over cheerfully, "Hiei, I'm so glad to meet you again! Long time, huh?"

"…Actually about 7 days."

I blink. "It…it seems like a long time to me!" Koenma, Yukina, and Kurama give up and begin to eat in the background.

It might be my imagination, but I could swear I see him recoil slightly, more into the shadow, so that only his white bandanna is visible. "I didn't know you were back." He peers around me and glares at someone back there. I follow his gaze and it lands on Kurama. Kurama determinedly avoids his eyes.

"I didn't know I was either! It's going to take a while to adjust!"

"Dig in, everyone!" Botan calls, probably to me, sitting back down at the table.

Hiei meanwhile gives me another funny look. "Really? Well, it's nice to see you back. How was your mo—?"

"EVERYONE! DIG! IN!" Botan literally screams from behind me, cutting off Hiei easily. My entire body twinges in pain, and I swing around to her.

"THE! FOOD! IS! GETTING! COLD!"

"God, woman, shut up." Hiei hisses, rubbing his temples.

"I DIDN'T KNOW BREAKFAST MEANT THAT MUCH TO YOU!" I yell.

Botan grabs my arm and yanks me over to my table, forcing me to sit before I even know what she's doing. I blink, and stare at a nice clean plate in front of me.

And then, I see the ham. That lovely juicy chunk of pink meat, sitting just within reach just in front of me. As though it were made for me.

I love this place.

5555555555555555555

Author's Note: Review me and die! I mean, review me OR die…hehe…