Chapter 14: Third Installment of the Kimono Saga…

Saturday, June 14th, 2005 (Will this day never end?)

"She's not dead, right?"

"No, of course not. She only tripped."

"Are you sure she isn't dead?"

"Keiko, Yukina is the healer."

"Botan, I'm just worried! She's not acting like herself!"

"Might that be because she had all her memories erased?"

"No, in a different way! She was never that hostile!"

"Might that be because she had all her memories erased?"

I stare up at the ceiling. I'm in an entirely different bed again, and there's a metal band around my waist to prevent me from getting up. Not like I could. Information slowly trickles back into my head. Oh yeah, that's why I'm in a new bed in a white room. I tripped and knocked myself out. Damn kimono. It's not fair at all of them to make me wear this.

When are those guys going to stop arguing?

"Fine! You can come in!"

The door bursts open and Keiko shoots in, looking very EMO. She kneels at my side. "Are you okay?" I just watch the others come in. Koenma levitates in first, then Kurama, Botan, Yukina, and Hiei last. Keiko asks again, with considerably more volume, "ARE YOU OKAY?"

"Yes! God, I'm fine!" I rub my ear and glare at her. "Keiko, seriously…"

"I shouldn't have made you wear that kimono." She whimpers, and I shut my eyes, waiting for it. "I should have known that in your mental state, you'd never be able to walk in one…"

"Are you saying I'm stupid?"

"Well…" She pauses. "Kimonos are apparently much more deadly than we have previously perceived them…"

"Now you're just mocking me!"

"Maybe if you'd just made some effort, you wouldn't be brain damaged!" Botan screeches.

"I'll tell you who's brain damaged."

"What was that, Keiko?"

And they all begin to merrily kill each other. Yukina rolls her eyes and turns away, muttering darkly. Hiei is the only one that stays silent, just watching me indifferently, standing next to the door frame. I smile at him nervously, and he goes a little closer. Shit. He shoves Keiko out of the way (And counting: Third time she got shoved today) and kneels by me instead.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I will be if I get out of here." I grumble.

He shrugs, and touches the metal band. I feel a wave of heat, and it melts right off me at his touch. I stare in stunned surprise. "Whoa."

"I've done better, you know that." He takes my arm and stands me, carefully making sure I don't fall. I balance on him and resist the urge to put my elbow on his shoulder. He beckons to me and 1000 things go off in my mind at once.

He's trying to get me out so he can interrogate me, isn't he? Oh no. It's a conspiracy!

I wrench my arm out of his grip and sit back on the bed. He raises his eyebrows and tries to pull me up again, and I shake my head and look at the floor. Now he looks half-confused-half-understanding.

He sits next to me and I twitch. If this guy is my boyfriend…if he tries to hold my hand, I don't think I'll be able to take it…oh, thank God, he does nothing. He just stares straight ahead for a long moment. And then he turns to me and asks, "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I can barely hear him above the argument that's taking place. "Like what?" I say, trying to save myself.

"Is there?"

"N-no, why would there be? I mean, we're just…us." Wow, I'm brilliant. I didn't even think of this idea until right this second. "I like things the way they are." (In the background: "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE AND WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A TOTAL BITCH?") I cover my ears.

Apparently, not so brilliant. Hiei looks at me like I just sprouted another head, and grows slightly red. "That…that wasn't…that wasn't what I mean at all…I just…I meant…if you had forgotten something…"

"Hiei, how could I forget you? I like you just the way you are!" I say, making my smile so big it hurts. "I have no problem with you any more than I did seven days ago."

He grows redder. "But…I…I thought that…that maybe you had forgotten…" ("I'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH ME, JACKASS!")

"And I haven't." I smile at him again. He still looks incredibly awkward, and finally, I think I see a very tiny change in the corners of his mouth. Maybe that's some kind of smile. Coming from Botan, it would be a pathetic grin, but from Hiei, maybe that's all he's got. He certainly is a serious person…

But if nothing else, that tiny corner-up smile proves that he believes me. I turn a little red too. Only maybe it's because of guilt and shame. He seems nice. If I didn't have it in the back of my head all the time that he likes killing people, I might even like him.

He says nothing else, just looks away from me and back at the wall. I do exactly the same. And after a few seconds, the loud argument gets resolved.

"FINE! FINE! THE KIMONO STAYS ON!" Keiko yells, red in the face. "BUT DON'T BLAME ME IF SHE BREAKS HER NECK!"

No one else says anything. I think they're all too worn out.

"YEAH! YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! DON'T SAY ANYTHING!"

"We're not, don't worry…"

"AGH!" Botan suddenly shrieks as she by chance turns around and sees Hiei sitting next to me. She rushes over, rather clumsily. "Hiei! Did you interrogate her at all?"

Hiei just stares at her.

"Well? Did you or did you not ask her strange questions? KATRINA! Did he ask you strange questions?"

"Um…no…not really…"

"HIEI! IS THIS TRUE?"

Stare.

"Botan, he didn't bother me…"

"WE MUST RESOLVE THIS IMMEDIATELY!"

Stare.

"Why do you keeping looking at me like that, Hiei?"

He pauses for a second. "I'm just trying to imagine how someone so stupid got to the coveted position of River Guide. By the way, your hair isn't brushed."

And, just like that, he gets up off the bed and walks out the door.

You have to give him points for that exit. I actually crack up, trying desperately to smother it in my hands and failing, snickering really loudly. Everyone is completely silent, and looking at Botan, who looks like she's going to kill the first chipmunk that crunches a nut too loud. But, then, she simmers down in two seconds, and the rage leaves her eyes. How does she do that?

Finally, she half-forces a smile up. "Well, Hiei's his usual cheerful self. Really, Kat, did he say anything odd?"

"Haha…Heheheh…no, he really didn't! Oh my GOD…I tried to tell you…that was so hilarious…" I continue to fall to pieces.

"I got a little carried away." She giggles.

In Everyone's Mind: A little?

Right back to normal, she grins again at something behind me. Oh, it's the melted metal band I had around my waist that is now a hard puddle on the sheets. "See, isn't Hiei cute deep down?"

"…What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh, you and your jokes." She laughs and pushes me down onto the bed, and I can do nothing to protect myself.

"Get me out of this damn thing." I say. "I'm done with it."

They all blink, and glance at one another. "You…you have to stay in that."

I stare at them. "But…but it almost killed me! This kimono is hazardous to my well-being! DO you want me dead? Do you seriously want me dead? If I find out that you all are—IF I FIND OUT THAT ANY ONE OF YOU WANTS ME DEAD I'LL DESTROY YOU!"

"Destroy us how, exactly? From what I've seen, you can't even walk." Kurama says with a slight sneer.

"OF COURSE I CAN!" I stand up from the bed, and begin to hobble towards the smart-ass. Trudging as fast as humanly possible when one is inside a roll of fabric death, I actually do really well walking.

Well, except for the point when I step on that goddamn hem and throw myself forward into Kurama's leg, causing a huge uproar. I've only begun to sink my teeth into his flesh when he catches me, just like that, and pries me off. I continue to lay on the ground.

When the girls have the chance to calm down, he says only four words. "I rest my case."

I stare up at him, pulling as much hate as I can into my eyes. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I shove myself into a pushup position and get ready to shove myself up. Only, I think they tightened the kimono while I was sleeping. My legs are entirely useless. I feel like some kind of caterpillar.

I push and shove with my arms, the only part of me that's even a little bit useful, shoving on the floor, shoving on Kurama's leg, shoving off of anything to get up.

"AGH!" I yell, frustrated, as I crack my wrist and snap it back instinctively and lose my balance and fall flat down again, right where I started, only somehow I roll onto my back. This time, Kurama doesn't catch me. He just leers over me as well as the others.

I see a hand being offered, Botan's, and I coldly ignore it. "I'll get up on my own." I hiss in a deadly whisper.

"Suit yourself." Kurama shrugs, and beckons to the others. They look shocked, and then understanding. They follow Kurama out the door.

"WAIT!" I yell. "YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE!"

Kurama turns around momentarily. "Don't worry. We'll be in the dining room, not helping."

I stare at him in shock. Botan and Keiko both look sympathetic, but whatever empathy they felt, they managed to suppress it quiet well. I'm now left staring at the door as it shuts behind them. Those assholes. I'll show them. I'll get up on my own in no time.

In No Time, a.k.a. Two Hours:

I flop back down on the ground, my aching bones screaming. Nothing is working. Nothing at all is working. I've tried using my arms, my abs, some muscles in my butt I didn't know I had, and my neck. I had no idea getting out of a kimono would be this tough. They are pure evil, those people. But I'm the only one to blame here. Why couldn't I see through Keiko's story about not letting Hiei see the scar? I should have been able to see exactly why I needed to have a kimono. I couldn't walk in it. I couldn't run away. They chained me here in the subtlest way possible. Now, I have no choice. I have to stay here until they let me out of this kimono.

Oh, and just a thought: I doubt kimonos require five under-robes.

They never even came back for me. They're just letting me waste away here on this God-forsaken floor. I'm so hungry. That breakfast was ages ago. I need to get out of here. I made such a foolish decision in staying here. These people may seem nice but that doesn't mean that they really are nice. I'm like Gretel without bread and stuck with candy witches. I mean, looking at these countless offenses they've committed—I need to escape. But how?

I need to get out of here!

I feel a surge of heat in my hands and head from pushing up on them so much. I look at them to observe the blister damage, and I nearly have a heart attack. My hands are glowing blue.

I stare in shock, not even finding it in me to scream. I'm too entranced by the fire flowing around them. It's not scary, it's something else entirely. It's only slightly hot—a slight surge of power culminating between my palms. I look on in awe. The power—I can't find any other word to describe it—

It feels great. It's…amazing. All that heat traveling through my fingers like the blood in my veins, just waiting there for me. Oh my god…

I try keep my hands in the air to avoid setting the floor on fire, but as soon as I think it, it becomes much harder to do. My hands, already sore and tired, fall slowly against my will to floor. I shut my eyes as they touch, but I feel a rushing sound in my head and when I open my eyes, I'm completely upright.

I wobble and almost fall straight down again out of the surprise of it all. How did that happen? When did I get up here? Did my hands propel me?

I glance at my hands and find that they've returned to normal. No blue light…and no blisters, either. Like they were healed or something. That's…odd. Very odd. I thought for sure…

Then, it hits me. Who cares how I got up here? For all I know, a fairy helped me, but I don't care. Hell, I might have been hallucinating. But I'm STANDING. S-T-A-N-D-I-N-G. I can go home free now.

I grip the bedpost to my right and carefully set out, holding the RIGHT hem as Botan instructed me, and taking really tiny baby steps. And guess what—it actually works. Who would have thought that Botan would teach me something useful? I inch along to the door. I'm going to follow her exact commands and make it to that goddamn steel door. And I'll do it proud.

Wobbling but somehow keeping my balance, I move slowly but surely to the door. Closer…closer…I can almost sense the aura of the metal…GOT IT!

I clutch the steel knob in delight, and pull on it hard. Come on…I can feel it giving way. Now, come on, you know you want to open…nice door…you can let me out now…

THERE! The door opens quietly towards me and I pull it open hesitantly. The coast is clear—

"YOU'RE STANDING UP!" Botan screams, wildly embracing me and jumping up and down. "OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER COME! NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!"

My mind shuts off. I'm just going to take every violent girl with a drunk hairdresser in stride from now on. She must have been waiting in ambush. How odd of her.

"OH, THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS! I MUST TELL THE OTHERS! OTHERS!" She screeches down the hall. I clap my hands to my ears and immediately teeter. She lets go of me, further setting me off balance, and screams the entire thing again. When no one comes, she just shrugs, her composure regained. "Oh well, it's their loss. How did you stand up?" She looks around and notices me, flat on the ground again. "Um…"

Take it in stride, Katrina, remember. Act perfectly natural. "Something weird happened."

"Something weird?"

"Yes."

"Oh…um, what?"

"Something strange happened with my hands."

She looks surprised, and then perfect again. "Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes. It was freaky."

She gets a contemplative look on her face. To cover it up, she yells, "YOU'VE ACTUALLY MASTERED THE KIMONO THOUGH! THAT'S AWESOME!"

"As you've said 30,000 times."

She gets a devilish look in her eyes. "And you know what that means!"

"I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't—"

"MASTERING THE KIMONO WITH BOTAN, PART TWO!"

The impact of her words dig into me like a bullet.

"…NOOOOOOOOO!"

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Author's Note: Not my best chap. Couldn't get it the way I wanted it to be. Oh well. Review.