Here's the next Chapter! Thanks for reveiwing the one person that did! J.K.

Chapter 5

That night, after everyone calmed Solomon down, they all sat in front of the campfire making roasted apples. Roasted apples aren't that great, unless you have something to go with it, but they roasted them, anyway. Nobody was talking out of fear that it would put Solomon on one of his hyper moods.

"This is boring," Yami broke the silence. Actually, it really was complete and utter silence. It wasn't before, because the crickets wouldn't shut up, so Yami sent them all to the shadow realm. Then it became quiet.

"Well, I still have the keys to the motor home," Solomon said, pulling them out of his pocket and holding them up in the air. "Want to get in the quad in the garage and pretend we're driving?"

"Uh… grandpa," Yugi began, "the motor home is in the river."

"WHAT!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" All the penguins in Antarctica were already deaf, but somehow, they heard this, anyway. This made all of their heads blow up.

All of a sudden thunderstorm started out of nowhere. It was raining and thundering and lightninging. It is a very bad idea to hold up keys during a thunderstorm Guess what happened. Here's a hint. Ben Franklin. 2+24.

"AH!" Solomon screamed as he got hit by lightening. All at once, the thunderstorm stopped. Solomon just stood there. Actually, he was fine. Plus, all that rain didn't put the fire out. In fact, it seemed bigger. How strange…

"What was all that?" Yami asked in astonishment.

"Dunno," Solomon started. Even he wouldn't start a babbling fit when he was so confused.

"Moomoo!" The cow…uh…mooed. It made everyone jump.

"Sheesh, cow, what do you want from us?" Yami questioned.

"She wants 'er bear back," a voice said from the shadows.

"Whose there?" Tristan called into the darkness. A figure stepped into the firelight. It was a farmer with a rifle. He kept on going, and placed his foot into the fire. He removed it quickly, took a few steps back, and continued as if it never happened.

"Me name's Jeff O' Leiry," he started. "And ya'll campin' on me farm!"

"This is your farm?" Yami asked.

"Ay," Jeff answered.

"Man, you grow so much you must be RICH!" Yami replied loudly.

"Wha'ever," Jeff responded. "Ya'll best get off me farm here, or ya'll have gotta pay!"

"What are you gonna do, mess up our hair?" Joey tempted. Tristan, however, reached into his pocket.

"Will these cover it?" Tristan asked, holding out Kaiba's pennies.

"I don't think that's what he meant by 'pay', Tristan," Tea remarked. Jeff took the pennies and began examining them.

"How did you know we were here?" Yugi questioned.

"'Oo said tha'?" Jeff asked.

"I did," Yugi replied.

"…Oh," Jeff said. "Ya'll are so short, I didn' even see yeh," Jeff told him. Yugi turned red. Jeff answered his question. "Well, I saw this 'ere campfire, so I thought I'd get' in me 'elicopter and check everythin' out wit' me searchlight."

"Oh," Yugi began, "so if the thunder was the noise of the helicopter, and the lightning was the searchlight, than what was the rain?"

"Me outhouse fell down yesterdey," Jeff told them.

"Wait… are you saying…" Yami asked. "Oh, that's just NASTY!"

"How?" Jeff replied. "I was gonna say I was jus' bein' random. My 'elicopter 'ad a oil leak. That was probably the rain."

"Oh," Yami responded. "Never mind." Jeff continued to examine the pennies.

"All right, these'll do," Jeff said, pocketing the pennies. I gotta show them to me wife! Carry on."

"Moo!" the cow cried. "Moo moo! Moo moo moo moo moo! Moomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoomoo!"

"What's up with cow?" Yami questioned.

"Oh, yeah," Jeff said. "That's Sally, me wife's cow. She wants her 'bear' back. Mr. Spiky hair there all went an' sent it ter the shadow realm!"

"Which Mr. Spiky Hair?" Joey interrogated.

"The only one," Jeff said.

"There's two of us," Yugi reminded him.

"Oh! Golly, there, lit'le one, I keep fergeting about yeh," Jeff insulted.

"Yami, please give this cow that bear back so this guy can go?" Yugi insisted.

"Fine," Yami gave in, and brought the bear back from the shadow realm. The only thing was, it appeared above the fire. It landed in it and burned.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The cow… I don't know.

"Whatever," Jeff said, and walked back home. Sally (the cow, in case you forgot) had something to do first. She walked in front of Yami, kicked him, and walked away.

"Who wants roast cow for dinner?" Yami asked, dropping his roasted apple.

The next day arrived before they all knew it (because they were all sleeping). Tea was the first one up, then Tristan, then Yugi, then Joey, then Yami ("Pharaohs get to sleep in every day," he said.), and Solomon was last (he actually fell asleep after Tea got up, because apparently, all that rock energy didn't completely wear off.)

"We need breakfast," Joey reminded them all.

"We can look for more food," Tristan suggested. Everyone thought that was what they should do. They all got baskets and began their trek into the woods. They found a nice apple tree and picked some and put them into their baskets (everyone except Solomon, who was only gathering rocks).

"Wow, look at that," Solomon eventually exclaimed. They all looked back, and he walked up to them, smiling. "I found braces!" he showed them in his mouth.

"They're PINK!" Joey noticed.

"You found that on the ground, didn't you?" Yugi asked.

"No, some birds were using it as a bathroom."

"Ew," Tea said, disgusted.

"Bananas!" Joey yelled. They all ran forward and saw one of the strangest trees they had ever seen. It was a big banana tree, and there were more bananas than there were leaves. The strange thing was that the branches were bigger than the actual trunk. The trunk was even thinner than your arm. It was as tall as any other tree. They all walked around it do a different place to look for good-looking bananas.

Yugi saw a nice batch and picked it. Bad idea. The tree was apparently using the bananas for balance. When Yugi picked the bundle of apples, the tree became unbalanced, and toppled over. You remember when I said that they spread equal distances around the tree? Well, that made it hit Solomon.

"Yay!" Joey cheered.

"I'm okay," Solomon called from under the bananas. I deflected them with my braces!" Yugi walked over and pulled him out.

"Great," Tristan sighed, picking up a banana. "Now they're all bruised.

"Oh, they're still good," Yugi told him.

"No they're not, they touched Solomon."

"Eat it anyway."

"NO!" Tristan screamed, and threw a bundle of apples at the ground. Know the funny thing? He missed.

"Then starve," Yugi ordered.

"NO!" Tristan yelled, and picked up an apple and stuffed it into his mouth without peeling it.

"Hey, that's the kind of thing I would do," Joey commented.

"Shut up," Tristan mumbled.

"Well, I think we've got enough food to last us the rest of the trip, that is if Joey doesn't eat it all again," Yugi stated. "Let's head back."

They began walking.

And walking.

And walking.

"Hey, you guys want to hear a joke?" Solomon asked.

"For Pete's sake, Solomon, we only took three steps and you gotta go like that?" Tristan asked. Solomon ignored him.

"What do witches do on the beach?"

"They make sandwiches?" Yami guessed.

"Lucky guess!" Solomon said.

"Can we not talk about sandwiches? Please?" Joey begged.

"Bet you can't do it again, Yami," Solomon challenged.

"Bring it on," Yami replied. "Us ancient Egyptians were expert joke tellers. Or was that sandwich makers?"

"STOP SAYING THAT WORD!" Joey hollered.

"Sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, cookie, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich, sandwich!" Tristan repeated. By now, Joey was sprawled on the ground holding his ears.

"La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!" Joey sang, long after Tristan was done.

"…Anyway, bet you can't do it again, Yami," Solomon challenged again.

"Bring it on, old man," Yami responded again.

"What do witches do on the beach?" Solomon asked.

"It's gonna be a loooooong walk." Yugi predicted.

Eventually, they reached the campsite, enduring Solomon's telling the same joke over and over again.

"Well," Solomon started. "All these hilarious jokes have gotten me hungry." He went into the tent and brought out a frying pan. "Time for dinner!"

"Were we hiking that long?" Joey asked. "We left to get breakfast, and now it's time for dinner?"

"…Joey, we left at three o clock, no thanks to someone who decided to sleep in that late!" Yami reminded him.

"Hey, I ate too many rocks yesterday!"

"…You only ate one," Yami said. "And that was at noon."

"Shut up," Solomon commanded. He put all the rocks on the frying pan and held them over the fire.

"I don't think that's going to do anything, grandpa," Yugi guessed.

"Okay then," Solomon said, and chugged them all down his throat at once.

You know how hyper he immediately got yesterday by swallowing one rock? Imagine what he'd do on seven.

"Where'd Solomon go?" Tristan asked in astonishment.

"He disappeared! Yay!" Joey answered.

He suddenly popped back. "Youknowwhat? Thechineesefoodwehaveheretastesbetterthanthechineesefoodtheyhaveinchina!" Solomon told them all. "Nowimgoingtogoandtrysomeofthattherecanadianfoodjusttoseeifitsasgoodaseveryonesaysitisyouloonies!" He disappeared again. Then he reappeared again. "Noactually. Theyeatsnailstherejustliketheydoingermanyorwasitfrancethatatethesnailsyouknowwhatiforgetnowthattheytriedtomakemeeatoneandinearlythrewuponthembecauseitwasstillalive! Hahaha!"

This continued for half an hour. Then, after Solomon had eaten every kind of food in the world except that which they serve in South Dakota, he sat down and began chatting hyperly.

"Hey, why do you all look as if you're going to go to South Dakota and look for a board which you will use to hit yourself? I mean, the grass is green, the sun is shining, and there's twenty pounds of pure rock pumping through my digestive system. I hope they don't give me kidney stones! Hey, did someone say stones? Stones are good. They're good on chocolate, marshmallows, long wooden boards, fries, chicken, hamburgers, bread, apples, bananas, sandwiches, cookies, cheeseburgers with no cheese, flattened meatballs on two buns, regular meatballs, spaghetti, the Norwegian, squirrels, pickles, rocks, ice cubes, chicken, french fries, pizza, hot dogs, cheese, more cheese, cheese in a can, hey, speaking of cheese in a can, have you ever heard of canned bread? How can you can bread? Is there something in the recipe that makes it can shape? I mean, if flat bread is an example of no yeast, then too much yeast may result in the bread being in a strange can shape which they can put in a can and sell to the Norwegian in order to make them have full bellies so that I can go back to Norway and eat another Norwegian. Hey, how come Norway and Norwegian are so different? I mean, America and American aren't so different, you just add an n. But with Norway and Norwegian, you have to take out the ay and put in a egian. Egian doesn't spell anything! It's not in the English dictionary! However, N is! If you go look in a tasty dictionary and look under N, it'll be the first thing you find! You know what else? What's the word to say people from South Dakota? Is it South Dakotain, or something? They should make a word in English that means 'someone whose origin is South Dakota'! They can completely forget about North Dakota, for all I care. North Dakota has bad food. South Dakota's where it's at! You know what else? Why am I talking about English and America if we're Japanese? And where'd this desert farm thing come from, too? I thought Japan was mostly cities! Did we cross a bridge or drive underwater when I was directing Tristan? I wouldn't remember, seeing as I ate seven rocks half an hour ago. Speaking of rocks, I remember now that I was making a list of things that rocks were good on. Now, let's see…where was I? Oh yeah. Okay, they're good on mice, paperclips, ice cream, AH!"

"Joey, why did you just hit Grandpa with a board from South Dakota?" Yugi asked.

"…He was talking… about food again," Joey said slowly. "I don't like it when he talks about food."

"No, I mean why did you go all the way to South Dakota to get a board when there are plenty of trees around here?"

"Oh. Well, Solomon was right. South Dakota makes the best wooden boards.

"Whatever," Yami commented. "At least it's quiet now."

They all were finally eating their dinner of fried and unfried apples and bananas without Solomon's babbaling fit ruining it. When they were done, he suddenly woke up and sat up.

"I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM!" He cried.

"Well, you have a choice," Tea answered. "Oak, birch, or pine," she pointed at the trees.

"Okay," Solomon replied, and sped off. He came back about a minute later. "Yugi, where's the toilet paper?"

"Just use leaves!" Yugi responded irritated.

"Okay."

"Just watch out for poison ivy!"

"Okay!" Solomon disappeared behind the trees again.

"Why do you sound as if you care?" Joey asked Yugi.

No major events occurred during the night, except Solomon didn't sleep a wink again. This time, though, he wasn't even tired when they got up. In fact, he had more energy than Rip Van Winkle ("Why's Rip Van Winkle so famous, anyway?" Yami asked one day previously. "I slept for two hundred and fifty times longer than he did! I should be famous!").

"Good morning, ya'll!" Solomon greeted. He was running around the fire, because he was cooking breakfast, and he had too much energy to just sit there and wait for it to cook.

"Why are you walking around the fire?" Joey asked.

"Because I'm cooking breakfast, and I have too much energy to just sit there and wait for it to cook," he replied. "BABY BOTTLE POP! I wanted to say that all night, but I didn't want to wake anyone."

"…Okay." They all ate their breakfast (bacon and eggs, don't ask where he got them). When they were all done, Yugi noticed something.

"Grandpa, you're all red," he noticed.

"Probably because I've been in front of the fire all night," he replied. "But you know what I noticed? I'm really itchy. WOK WOK! I wanted to say that all night, too!"

"Oh, no," Yugi said. "Grampa, you found poison ivy, didn't you?"

"What's poison ivy?" Solomon questioned.

"I told you to watch out for it yesterday when you went to the bathroom, and you just said okay," Yugi recalled.

"I wasn't listening. I was to concerned with my dirty bottom," Solomon answered. Yami spoke next.

"Is it just me, or are we all getting NASTY?"

"Poison ivy has three shiny leaves," Yugi told Solomon, ignoring Yami's last random comment.

"Oh, because I went to the bathroom where there was a lot of trees like that," Solomon remembered, itching himself.

"Great, at least now we know where not to step," Tristan said.

"Hold on, I brought some poison ivy cream," Tea said, and went in the tent to retrieve it. She came out with it a minute later, and gave it to Solomon. "Now go rub this anywhere you itch, okay?" Solomon didn't reply, only took it and ran into the forest.

He came back a minute later, looking angry. He rounded on Tea.

"This stuff makes me look PINK!" He screamed.

"Well, you were pink before," Tea said.

"Oh, never mind then," Solomon replied, and faced Yugi. "Can I ask for your help?"

"Why?" Yugi asked.

"I can't reach my butt. I'm too old."

"Well, you shouldn't have touched it, then," Yugi told him.

"Oh. Then I guess I shouldn't have used it as toilet paper."

Frightened, Yugi threw the lotion to his right.

Joey caught it.

He threw it to his right.

Yami caught it.

He threw it to his right.

Tea caught it.

She threw it to her right.

Tristan caught it.

He threw it to his right.

There was no one there.

No one caught it.

It landed in the fire.

It burned.

They all stared at Tristan.

"What?" He responded. "I was not gonna rub his butt!"

"Nasty."

"Shut up, Yami,"

"I am pharaoh! I shut up for no one! Except a piece of chicken… mmm… chicken…"

"I ITCH!"

"Shut up!"

"RUB ME!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE BE QUIET!" Yugi hollered. No one would expect such a little tyke to be able to scream so loud. Ah… my ears. "This arguing is getting us no where! Grandpa, go find some more lotion and sit in it! If your butt itches so bad, go upstream and take a bath or something! Maybe fish help the itch, or something!"

"… Nasty…"

Everyone was speechless. No one had ever seen Yugi yell at anyone before (well, except Rebecca). Even Solomon's rock highness was at a standstill. He didn't even itch.

"Sheesh, Yugi, calm down," Tristan said. He soon regretted saying this, as it seemed to turn Solomon back on. He itched some more and he started prancing around again.

"Yeah, Yugi, there's no need to loose your cool in public like that, I mean come on, there are five people who witnessed your voice, and some people in North Dakota probably heard it, too," He said.

"What happened to South Dakota?" Joey asked Solomon.

"It died."

After that little scene, Solomon took Yugi's suggestion and went upstream to scar some fishes for life. Everyone else sat around the campfire dreading his return. They were silently talking about how happy they were now that he was gone. He returned about an hour later.

"That was a bad idea," he said upon his return. "All the lotion I had on before washed off!"

"Oh… yeah, it's not waterproof," Tea said.

"It's not fire proof either," Joey commented.

"Shut up, Joey," Tristan ordered.

"You wanna go?"

"Go where?"

"To de-ja vu!"

"Is that a place?"

"Yeah, I've been there," Solomon, told them.

"Are you serious?" Tristan asked.

"Yep. The climate is bad, but the food makes up for it. Best pig snout I ever ate!"

At this, Yami ran to the river.

"What happened to your poison ivy, grandpa?" Yugi asked.

"Fine, remind me!" Solomon snapped, and began itching. "You know what? I wanna go home!"

"You know what?" Tristan asked. "I don't think we can!"

"G'mornin, fellers," Jeff greeted, walking up. "Me wife liked them pennies. What can I do fer yeh?"

"Nothing, we're just trying to find out how to get home," Tristan told him.

"Well, how'd ya get here?" he asked.

"We had a giant motor home, but it sank in the river," Yami recalled.

"That's too bad," Jeff said.

"Oh, no!" Joey exclaimed. "I just remembered! There's a jar of pickles in the fridge of that motor home I still haven't eaten! Wah!"

"That was nasty," Yami commented.

"How?" Joey questioned.

"… You know what?" He replied. "I have no idea. Never mind."

"Hey, wait," Yugi said. "You have a helicopter, don't you?"

"Sure do," Jeff responded.

"Do you think you can give us a lift back to Domino City?" he asked.

"Sure, I can give yeh all a ride in me 'elicopter," he suggested.

Yami made a short head count. "We'll take six," he said.

This was my longest chapter! see ya!