Chapter 3--"Truffles"
Riza was finally getting to work not that she had rid herself of the drunken Colonel for the second time that morning when the door seemed to explode inward on its hinges. Ed stood there, a crazy look in his eye. He held in his hands a quivering ball of fur that had sunk claws into his shirt and was holding on for dear life. Riza noticed the beginnings of bruises and a trickle of blood slid down the left side of his face from a source above his hairline. In short, it looked as though someone had dropped a piano on him…or a drunken military officer duct-taped to a chair.
Shit! Riza thought as Ed advanced into the room. Meanwhile, Al wheeled Roy into the room. He looked rather beat up as well. Riza looked around for help. Breda looked like he was about to go into hiding beneath his desk and Havoc was already there. Hughes stood in the corner, somehow looking amused and scared at the same time. Riza made a mental note to come up with some unspeakable torture for them before returning to the problem at hand. By now, Ed was a shade of red she had never seen before, at least not on a person's face.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!" Ed screamed, his face turning even redder.
"Uh…I tried to dispose of him."
"WELL, NEXT TIME, DUMP HIM ON SOMEONE ELSE!"
Riza was lucky, he seemed to be done. Instead, he was focusing on trying to remove the frightened fur ball from his shirt. But extricating its claws from the black fabric seemed to be a job and a half. Riza walked to Roy's desk and began rummaging through the drawers.
"What are you doing now?" Ed asked, looking up from his task.
"Maybe if we get some truffles in him, it'll sober him a bit."
"Good idea, I'd help, but I'm kind of busy."
Riza nodded her understanding and continued her search. Damn him! she thought. He keeps moving them around! Finally, she reached the last drawer, the bottom one on the right. It was already open a crack and when she opened it, she knew why.
"Holy shit!" Riza exclaimed, her eyes widening. Breda and Havoc poked their heads out from their hiding places, questioning looks poised upon their faces. Ed and Al looked up as Hughes looked over. When he saw the contents of the open drawer, he paled a dozen shades in under two seconds, a new record.
"Pickle!" Roy shouted drunkenly from his chair. Al had begun carefully removing the duct tape that held him in place and several yards of it trailed on the floor. Now he began struggling against his bonds, whimpering. The only coherent words Ed could make out were "mine" and "gimme". He stopped soon enough, and once again silence reigned.
"What's wrong?" Ed asked, looking over their shoulders. He gasped. The drawer was full of empty beer bottles, half a dozen at least. Finally Riza bent over and, moving beer bottles aside, fished out Roy's box of truffles. Shaking her head, she went over to Roy and began trying to convince him to eat the offered chocolate.