The Great Sephiroth

"Last night the Great Sephiroth struck again. This time it was in the back alley of Traverse Town with a young man that had blonde spiky hair. He can't remember anything of the event except for meeting Sephiroth in a nearby coffee shop in the Second District." A picture of Sephiroth appeared on the television screen as the newscaster went on. "If you see this man, I suggest you take of in the opposite direction, screaming at the top of your lungs and find a small hole to hide in. And on to other news…"

Kairi turned the TV off. "You have to admit, Selphie. He is hot."

Selphie nodded. "Reminds me of Riku."

"Is Riku a sadist bastard that likes to rape people?"

"Yeah." She joked.

"Then I suppose you're right." Kairi agreed, going along with the rather mean joke. There was a moment of silence between them.

"Sephy wants to rape you…" Selphie said out of the blue in her most demonic voice.

Both girls cracked up laughing.

"I'm gonna go get some snacks." Kairi stuttered, trying to soothe her laughter. "You get a movie ready."

Selphie gave Kairi a thumb's up."

"Hmm… now what to eat…" Kairi drawled as she searched through her kitchen cabinets. "Popcorn? We are watching a movie…" She mused to herself as she opened the package and stuffed it in the microwave.

"Popcorn. Nice choice."

Kairi turned and screamed.

The Great Sephiroth was half way through her window.

And he was stuck.

"Can you help me?" He asked, hand extended.

Kairi screamed again. However, her screams were drowned out by the TV blaring in the front room. She tried screaming louder, but to no avail.

"Look, I'm stuck. Can you please help me?"

She looked at Sephiroth. He seemed so gentle and kind. "I--I guess." She grabbed his hand and pulled. She got caught off balance and fell, bringing Sephiroth with her.

He landed on top of her in a very uncomfortable position. "Well, aren't you cute. I usually go for guys, but--" He kissed her lightly. "--I guess I can make an exception."

Kairi just laid there, dazed and confused…

"Kairi? Kairi!"

Kairi shot up. "Huh?"

"You fell asleep. I found you just laying here on the floor." Selphie stated. "What happened?"

She looked around, noticing she was, in fact, on the floor of the kitchen. "I dunno."

"Well, let's just go watch the movie."

And outside Sephiroth smirked, disappearing down a dark alley. "Maybe we'll meet again. I'd love to learn your name."

The end!

Or… is it?