Freaky-Randomness

By: Black Rain Girl

YAY! I got 5 reviews!

Thanks to:

Hurkydoesn'tknow – I'm not sure will let me post my first story up, sorry…

Scorchthehedgehog – I am laughing out loud…a lot…HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Disclaimer:

Rainy: (looks around) okay, whew! The Lawyers are gone! (Jumps up on a pedestal, and a golden glow forms around her) (Holds KH patent high above her head!) I OWN IT! IT'S MINE AT LAST! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Lawyers: (appear) (takes away KH patent) Kingdom Hearts was created, and is owned, by Disney and Squaresoft. Miss Black Rain Girl, as cute as she may be, had stolen it, but we tracked her to this location with the tracker we put on the Lollipop she also stole.

Rainy: (brings out pink Lollipop that's huge) (sobs) Lolly! W-Why did you b-betray m-m-me! (continues sobbing)

Lawyers: (take Lollipop away and leave)

Rainy: (Golden glow stops, and turns into a little storm cloud above her head that starts raining) (Rainy turns into a chibi) (pedestal crumbles) (sitting on a bunch of rocks, crying)

Skyra: (appears, and comforts Rainy)

Janzu: (appears, holding a baby) Rainy doesn't own KH.

Rainy: (sob) I ALMOST HAD IT! I ALMOST DID! (sob, sob, sob)

Survivor

By: Black Rain Girl

In Wonderland, Yuffie was sitting in the Queen's chair, while Kairi and Aerith sat on the arms of the throne, and the Queen was in front of them, being a Jester. Yuffie was sit-dancing to "Under the Sea" while the other two laughed at the Queen's horrible "Dancing".

Yuffie stopped dancing herself, and pondered something for a while. "Hey, are you guys bored?" Kairi and Aerith shrugged. "Well, let's invite some people over! then we can play Survivor!"

"Alright!" the two other girls agreed. They all got out their cell phones and called everyone they knew.

Sora. (Girls swoon, hearts throb, Kairi fainted)

Riku. (Thunder crashes, lightning strikes, all three girls screamed)

Cloud. (Tifa swoons, Aerith sobs, Leon yells, "GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE STAGE)

Leon. (Rinoa swoons, Yuffie growls at Rinoa, Dalmatian puppies remember that someone loves them.)

Goofy. (Ah-Hayuck! WYY-HOO-HOO-HOOOOOEY! We gotta protect the world border!)

Donald. (Quack, I'm a duck.)

Sephy. (Aerith swoons, Cloud growls, Sora screams, "NOOO! DAMN PLATINUM MATCH MEMORIES!)

Selphie. (Yellow flowers spring up, butterflies fly, a bunny jumps on a trampoline.)

Tidus. (Yuna swoons, Selphie growls, Seymour goes nuts and wants to kill Tidus)

Wakka. (Lulu…uh…swoons? Blitzballs fly into the air, cheerleaders scream, "Go Besaid Aurochs!")

Kairi put her cell phone away. "Okay, in Survivor, how many trials do we do?"

"Well," Aerith replied. "Since there are thirteen of us, and one of us needs to be Jeff, 11 trials. So, who's going to be Jeff?" Yuffie began to jump excitedly.

"Oooooh! Me! MEEEEEEE!" Yuffie squealed. "I mean, I'm on the throne and all. AND I made the Queen herself entertain us. AND—"

"Wonderland is completely in your control, and you can destroy and terrorize it as much you want." Aerith and Kairi said in blunt tones.

Yuffie stared at them for a while. "Um, Yeah. Anyhoo, Queen, DANCE!" The queen whimpered and began to dance again, as she had stopped at the mentioning of 'Wonderland completely in' Yuffie's 'control, and that' Yuffie 'could destroy and terrorize it as much as' Yuffie 'wanted.'. Yuffie began to laugh maniacally. "I AM THE RULER OF WONDERLAND! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Meanwhile, in Sora's gummi ship…

"MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Sora, Goofy, and Donald all jumped.

"Uh," Sora said. "I think Yuffie didn't take her meds today…"

Meanwhile, on Riku's ship…

"MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Riku, Cloud, and Leon all jumped.

"Ya know," Cloud piped up. "We should get Yuffie a huge doctor to shove her meds down her throat. That way, no more worlds will end up like Halloween Town."

"Yeah," Leon agreed. "I remember when that world was Easter Town, and when Jack Skellington was Jack Rabbit."

"Worlds just fall into chaos in her control, don't they?" Riku sighed.

Meanwhile, on Seph's ship…

"MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Sephiroth jumped.

"Whoa, I think Yuffie's crazier than usual today." Sephy looked in front of him and realized that he was just about to ram into Atlantica. "HOLY COMMUNION!" And his ship rammed into Atlantica.

In Atlantica…

Ariel was swimming around, dreaming of life on the land, when a gummi ship crashed right in front of her. "HOLY SHENANIGANS OF SORA AND RIKU!" She peered into the Gummi ship windshield. "Oh, crap…" she muttered.

Sephiroth picked himself off of the ground, and looked out the windshield. "Oh, crap…"

Back on Riku's ship…

Riku, Cloud, and Leon all looked out the window and at the gummi ship lodged halfway into Atlantica.

"That's Sephiroth's ship!" Cloud started to hop up and down excitedly. "Now I have payback! Uh-huh! Oh yeah! Uh-huh! Oh yeah! This is the best day ever! Take that, Sephy-poo! You might have gotten Aerith, but I have the girl with big boo—" Leon slapped his hand over Cloud's mouth and said, "There are children on board."

"I'M NOT A CHILD!" Riku fumed. "I'M FIFTEEN, AND THEREFORE A YOUNG ADULT! JUST BECAUSE I'M CUTE DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M A CHILD!"

Leon blinked a few times. "I was talking about Lucky." One of the 101 Dalmatians trotted into the room. Riku and Cloud looked at Leon like he was absolutely crazy. "He's still a baby!" Leon cried defensively. Riku and Cloud took a step away from him.

Meanwhile, on Wakka's ship…

"MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie all jumped.

"I hope this Yuffie person who Kairi was talking about wasn't the one that just laughed." Tidus said grimly.

"Hey, Tidus, man," Wakka called from the steering wheel. "How do you drive this thing, ya?" Tidus shrugged.

"Oooh! I can drive it! I know how!" Selphie chirped, hopping up and down. She grabbed the steering wheel and crashed into the Mad Hatter's Tea Party garden.

All three jumped out. Selphie looked at the picture of the lepricon dude, and the rabbit. They were in the terrified mode, like when you sit on one of the bad chairs that make heartless appear.

Tidus and Wakka were too busy kissing the ground screaming, "LAND! Beautiful solid land! Thank Guacamole!"

Soon, everyone was in the throne room…except Sephy.

"Where's Sephiroth?" Aerith asked.

"Halfway lodged in Atlantica." Leon and Riku said.

"He said he doesn't care about you, and he thinks Ariel is sexier." Cloud lied.

Aerith started to sob. "N-No one l-l-loves m-me!" Cloud hugged her.

"I care about you baby." He whispered. Tifa appeared, looking furious.

"Cloud Strife, How dare you!" she yelled.

"Uh, one…for…each…arm?" Cloud asked. Tifa glared at him, and then smiled.

"Yeah, sure!" She agreed. And she took Cloud's other arm. "Besides, it takes three to party!"

Leon rolled his eyes. "And I thought Irving was a ladies man." Sephiroth burst through the door, dripping wet.

"Don't ask." Seph warned. Aerith glared at him.

"What?" she scoffed. "Ariel rejected you? Sorry, Sephy-poo!" she looked the other way.

Seph looked at Cloud, and saw that he had both Tifa AND Aerith. "Strife, if you weren't holding my woman, I would chop you up right now."

Yuffie looked from Cloud, to Seph. Then Seph, to Cloud. "Uh, I invited all of you so we could play Survivor. But, um, if this is going to be kind of emotional for you four, then we don't have to play."

"We're playing." Aerith snapped. Then she whispered in Cloud's ear, "You kill that two-timer!"

Cloud, not used to Aerith acting so aggressive, timidly nodded.

"Okay," Yuffie piped up, suddenly happy. "The first Trial is…" she looked around at everyone. "Who can do a handstand the longest! RANDOM WORDS SPILL OUT OF MY MOUTH!"

Everyone took ten steps away from her, and began to do a handstand.

Yuffie looked at everyone, and despite the fact that she was Jeff, she did a handstand also. She also decided to commentate.

"Everyone begins a handstand…Selphie's pretty wobbly, and…" Selphie fell. "Selphie's Out! Kairi's also kinda wobbly…and…She's out! Oooh, Donald's putting up a huge effort…BUT IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Donald fell, not because it was hard, but because Yuffie yelled. "HE'S OUT!" Goofy fell from Yuffie's shouting. "GOOFY'S OUT!"

"Yuffie!" Aerith yelled, her face pink.

"Okay, I'll stop yelling." Yuffie sighed. "I LIKE SCREAMING RANDOM WORDS! MUSTARD SMELLS LIKE CORN CHIPS!"

"No! Yuffie! Your shirt!" Aerith bit her lip. Everyone looked at Yuffie's shirt. Yuffie looked down, and realized that her shirt had flipped up, and that everyone could see her Mickey Mouse bra.

"Uh…" Yuffie looked up at everyone. "I…love…Mickey Mouse? RANDOM!"

Riku, Sora, Leon, Tidus, and Wakka began to laugh so much they fell out of their handstand. Yuffie blushed, got out of her handstand, and righted her shirt.

"Oh, well," she sighed. "Better make the most of this moment." She cleared her throat, and began to march around the remaining Handstanders. "Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!" She sang. "Mickey Mouse--!"

"DONALD DUCK!" Donald screamed.

"Mickey Mouse!" She sang.

"DONALD DUCK!" He screamed again.

"Something something sooomethiiiiiiiiiiinnng!" Yuffie continued. Seeing that she didn't remember the rest of the song, she switched it. "Oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Oh, oh, Hey Mickey!"

"You probably don't want to sing that." Donald warned her.

"Why?" Yuffie asked.

"Queen Minnie could be around somewhere!" Goofy pointed out.

"Oh, you're right." Yuffie mused. "Oopsy! I'm supposed to be commentating! Uh, Aerith looks…Aerith I think this isn't the game for you…THE SPANISH ARMADA!"

"Why?" Aerith asked she was completely oblivious to the fact that her skirt had flipped up, and she was showing off her Donald Duck undies. Everyone looked at Aerith's Donald Duck underwear. She blushed, fell out of her handstand, and pulled down her dress.

"Um, those few times of viewing female under clothes, uh, never happened." Yuffie said. "BADDA BADDA BADDA SWING!"

"Yeah, in your world!" Riku laughed. He's such a little perv.

"Anyhoo," Yuffie continued. "Aerith's down…Tifa doesn't look very good over here! Hey Tifa, I have something to say to ya." Yuffie bent down so her mouth inches from Tifa's ear. She breathed in… and…. "YOU TOOK THE LAST TWINKIE!"

Tifa, who had been expecting a whisper, fell from surprise. "Hey!" She cried. "What was that for?" Yuffie shrugged, and back-flipped so she was between Cloud and Sephiroth. She got down on all fours, crawled over to Sephy, and stuck her face just inches from his own. She then turned around, and did the same to Cloud. She crawled back to Sephy and poked his forehead. She did the same to Cloud. She crawled to Sephy and said, "Toothpaste smells." She did the same to Cloud. She somersaulted to Seph, and screamed, "BOOM SHAKALAKA TURRAH!" and did the same to Cloud. Then, she had no idea what to do next, so they all sat there in silence.

An hour later…

Sephy and Cloud were still at it, and the rest of them were playing Texas Hold 'em (poker).

Leon looked at his cards, and smiled evilly. "I'm putting all in." he pushed all his poker chips (which was actually cheetos, pizza, and root beer) into the middle.

Sora looked at his cards, and smiled psychotically. "Me too." He pushed his poker chips into the middle.

Donald, who was the dealer, asked, "Anyone else?"

Yuffie, Aerith, Goofy, Kairi, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka all folded, muttering.

"You guys are crazy." Tidus said to Sora and Leon, shaking his head.

"MONGOOSE!" you probably know who screamed that, but for people who have no idea who screamed it, Yuffie screamed it.

"Okay," Donald interrupted. "Show your cards."

Leon had two kings.

Sora had two aces.

Sora jumped up and started to dance. "I won! I won! Uh-huh! Oh yeah! Uh-huh! Oh yeah!" Leon was furious, and unsheathed his sword halfway.

Sora stopped dancing, eyeing the blade with worry, and sat down. "Uh, I change my mind. I fold! Leon wins!"

Leon nodded approvingly, and he pulled the pile of junk food to him. He held it close, and stroked it while whispering, "My precioussssssss…"

"Uh," Riku interrupted. "Leon, It's just a game."

Leon Ignored Riku. He picked up a slice of pizza, and rubbed it lovingly on his face. "My love, my own." He crooned. His eyes opened wide. "My precioussssssss…"

Everyone scooted away from him.

Yuffie looked over at Cloud and Sephy, who were kinda wobbly, but still in the game. "Are you guys done yet?" both of them shook their heads. "Ugh! That's it!" Yuffie stomped over to the two and pushed Seph down.

"Hey! Why didn't you do it to Cloudy-boy over there!" Seph asked while Cloud dropped out of his own Handstand.

"Cuz he's my friend!" Yuffie huffed. But she flicked Cloud in the head. She walked away muttering, "Men and their egos." Cloud and Seph merely shrugged. "Okay," She continued. "Cloud won that one. Now it's tribal council." Lights go out, torches come up, and there's the voting booth. "Everyone, vote for the person you want off. I'll go first!"

"Hey!" Sora interrupted. "You're Jeff, right? So you can't vote! Ha-ha!"

Yuffie shook her head. "Normally that would be true, but I changed the rules. So, HA-HA! …HA!" She walked to the voting booth, and wrote, "Donald". "Sorry, Donald, but you kept screaming 'Donald Duck!' when I was singing the Mickey Mouse song. Buh-bye ducky boy!" she walked away. "Now Donald goes."

Donald went to the voting booth, and wrote, "Yuffie". "You sang the Mickey Mouse song, when you should have sang the Donald Duck song. I hope this is okay to do…"

Sora voted Donald out.

Riku too.

Also Leon.

Cloud voted Donald.

Seph voted Donald.

Wakka voted "Double D." (Donald Duck)

Tidus voted, "Duck dude." (Donald Duck)

Selphie voted, "The guy with feathers." (Donald Duck)

Aerith voted Don—

IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED EVERYONE VOTED DONALD EXCEPT DONALD! Jesus, people!

"I have an elephant in my pants" Donald exclaimed.

"But you don't wear pants!" Sora shouted.

"eep!" Donald squeaked as he stole a towel and made a man-skirt.

"well, your out anyway, so it don't matter. Oh with his head!" Yuffie screeched as giant poker cards took Donald away along with his man-skirt. "Anyhoo, uh, to make this faster, Tidus, you're gone, Wakka, you're gone, Selphie, you're gone, Goofy, you're gone, Tifa, you're gone. There we go!" Yuffie pushed all the people she got rid of out the door. "Okay we still have Sora, Riku, Kairi, Leon, Cloud, Sephy, Aerith, and Me! Ha-ha! Okey Dokey, uh…now we'll do another trial." Torches and voting thing disappear. "Who can gorge themselves with mayonnaise the most!"

A long table popped up with many jars of Mayonnaise and spoons. Everyone's eye twitched…except Yuffie's. She loved mayonnaise (and so do I!). everyone else hated it.

Everyone lined up along the tables, except Yuffie, because she was Jeff.

"Okay, pick up your spoons!" Yuffie cried. Everyone picked up a spoon, and a jar. "I didn't say to pick up your jar!" She shouted. Everyone put the jar back. "Pick your Jar!" Yuffie yelled. everyone rolled their eyes and picked a jar. "Open the Jar!" everyone opened his or her Jar. "On your mark, get set, GO!"

Everyone began to stuff his or her faces with nummy Mayonnaise! Yes, nummy. Nummy is my word for yummy. Well, I think I made it up. Oh well. And yes, I like mayonnaise.

Leon was out in the first bite.

Kairi and Aerith were out after their second bites.

Cloud and Seph made a truce in the mayonnaise game, and stopped after three bites.

Riku and Sora were still stuffing their faces. Sora's like me. He also likes mayonnaise. Riku tried to forget about the taste.

Oh, and here's a phrase that my teachers are constantly saying to my sister (they're saying her name when I put down Inu):

Inu, you and your sister are complete opposites. She's south, and you're north. But, just like magnets, north and south can create the strongest bond in the world. And remember that.

Why they say it? I don't know. They're weird like that. Yeah we're tight and all, but they don't need to remind us!

Anyhoo, back to the story.

An hour later…

"I GIVE UP!" Riku shouted, and he threw down his spoon.

"YAY! I WIN!" Sora squealed gleefully. He grabbed the Immunity necklace thingy, and began to hula.

…And sing.

"Aloha Oi! Aloha Oi! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla. Aloha Oi! Aloha Oi! Bla bla bla bla bla bla blaaaaa!" Sora sang. Everyone took five steps away from him.

"Okay, Sora wins!" Yuffie yelled. "Time to vote!"

Goes dark, tiki torches, Hawaiian…bla bla bla. Voting booth, bla bla bla. Fire pit, bla bla bla. Yada yada you know what I mean!

"Sora's safe, the rest of ya are vulnerable, I vote first, then Sora." She walked to the voting place and wrote down, "Leon". "What's with your name? Why'd you change it? Squall's cool! What's wrong with ya, ya chookie nuga wa-wa!" She screamed. She walked back out to the room where everyone else was looking around, looking for the person who screamed, "Chookie nuga wa-wa".

"Sora, you're up!" Sora stood up and walked to the voting booth. He wrote down, "Seph". "Sorry, Seph, but you bring back shuddering and scary memories." He walked away.

(((A/N: When I tried to fight Sephiroth I screamed every time he hit me. His voice may be done by Lance Bass, but he's too strong for his own good…I never won…(shudder))))

Riku walked to the voting booth, and wrote, "Sephy". "You're a wimp." He muttered, and he walked away.

Seph walked to the voting booth, and wrote, "Cloud". "How dare you take my woman! You gonna pay!" and he walked away.

Cloud walked up, and wrote, "Sephy-boy". "Nah nah nah nah. Nah nah nah nah. Hey, hey, hey! Goodbye!" he sang. And he walked away.

Kairi walked up, and wrote, "Seph". "Cloud's paying me to do this."

Aerith walked up, and wrote. "Seph". "I am so much sexier than Ariel!" and she walked away.

Leon walked up, and wrote, "Yuffie". "I think I can get rid of Jeff…"

Yuffie tallied the votes, and announced: "Seph, you outa here! ENTERTAINMENT!" and she began to watch a lava lamp excitedly. Seph stood up and stared at Yuffie for a moment, then he walked out. Everyone stared at Yuffie for a while. She glanced at them and smiled. They stayed like that for a very long time.

Soon all the voting crap was gone, and Yuffie got rid of a few more people just because she wanted to. They were Kairi, Aerith, and Leon. So they were left with Cloud, Sora and Riku.

"Okay," Yuffie began. "Here's a trial for you! Um…what's the best way not to get killed by sharks?"

"Kill it first?" Cloud asked.

"Be nice to it?" Sora asked.

"Don't go into the water at all." Riku announced.

"Riku Wins!" Yuffie exclaimed. "Cloud, you out." Cloud looked offended.

"We didn't even vote!"

"Yes," Yuffie agreed. "We didn't vote, but you were going to kill the shark, and that's cruelty to animals, sooooo…So long! G'bye! See ya! WHAT!" she rapped loudly. Cloud walked away in a huff.

All of a sudden, a girl with honey blonde hair, pale skin, pink shirt and a short jean skirt appeared.

"Hi! I'm Rainy! The author of this fanfic!" the girl announced. "And I declare Sora the winner!" Rainy began to dance with Yuffie, who was her cousin. The two boys walked away as quickly as they could, not wanting to be near the hyper girls.

Rainy and Yuffie began to dance and sing. "Oh Mickey you're so fine, your so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Oh, oh, hey Mickey!"

Rainy: Yeah, it's over, and I don't think it was good…

The Moral of this Story:

Don't suffer from insanity…enjoy every minute of it.