Yey, another chapter. Sorry for not updating sooner. Oh, and thanks to everyone that reviews. I love you people. If you see any grammar mistake, please tell me. It helps me a lot. And now, I live you with my story.

The pain of loving you

Breaking you

There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.

Aeschlysus.

Hitomi was tired of riding the stupid horse. She was tired of sleeping on the hard, rocky floor. She was tired of the rainy weather and the

interminable days. She was tired of the lousy meals. Over all, she was tired of Van Fanel. Traveling with him was hell. What she had done

to deserve such horrible punishment was beyond her imagination. She had thought about it for days, and she still had no answer. She had

always tried to give the best of her to everyone around her. She had even tried to make Fanel happy or something close to that. Every

single thing she did had been useless. By this point, she thought he was just incapable of feeling anything. In all the weeks they had been

traveling, the closest thing to a smile she had seen in him was a smirk, and that was when she did something wrong or when he had killed

some poor little animal so that they could it. The 'joy' he felt when he killed gave her nausea. She was even thinking of becoming a

vegetarian. She had never met anyone that was so cold and distant. Most people would think that two persons that had to travel together

in order to safe the world from its destruction would get to know each other, or at least talk to each other. Hitomi could tell them that

they were very wrong. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The more time she spent with him, the more Van hided from her. It was like

there was a wall right between them. She would have been very happy that he just ignored her had it not been for one small detail. She

wanted to understand him. In her mind, she couldn't comprehend how someone could be so empty on the inside and still be capable

breathing. She wanted to know why he enjoyed killing, even if it was just a small animal. She wished she knew what was behind his dark,

brown, cold eyes. Some people said that the eyes were the doors to the soul. If this was true, he had no soul. The few times she had

locked eyes with him, she had been drawn to them, wanting to fall into them till she had all her answers. Only two things kept her from

doing this. The first thing was the way his eyes made her feel: lost and desperate. They made her fear him. She was scared of falling into

his eyes and never coming back. She was sure she would get lost and wander endlessly in them. She didn't want to lose herself to a

monster. The other thing was Van Fanel. He avoided her and treated her like trash every time she was near him. To top it all, he hid his

eyes from her. It had been over a week since the last time she saw his brown orbs. His hair covered them, and she was sure he was

doing this on purpose.

Hitomi was miserable. Everyday she grew lonelier. She even wished for Allen's company. Fanel was just too inhuman to be real, and she

couldn't stand been lonely. She needed people around her. Fanel needed no one.

"I don't want to get to know you."

He hated her too. He didn't want anything to do with her.

'What a pair of heroes we are' she thought, amused.

He would only speak to her when there was no option at all. He was rude and mean and a bastard. She hated so many things about him

she didn't even know where to start. He didn't care about anything but his revenge. She knew it had to have been terrible to lose

everything at such a young age and in the way he had, but life kept on going. It just didn't stop and wait for you to be ready to face it. He

had suffered a lot, and she knew it, but of all things he could have done, he had chosen the worst. If he knew what it felt to lose

everything, then why had he decided to make other people suffer the same as he had? It was just stupid and selfish. It was a coward

action. Besides, it wasn't like he had been the first person to hurt. He hadn't been the first one to cry or the first one to lose someone

dear to him. Everyone suffered. It's the way life teaches and makes people stronger. No one build themselves from the happy moments.

It was the hard, painful ones that made people what they were. Hitomi got angry at Fanel again. He just wasted her time. What could she

learn from him? The cruelest methods to kill? How to destroy a world in ten seconds? The best way to create panic among all living

beings? No, thank you. She had more productive things to do. Not getting lost was a very good example. Fanel had disappeared from

her sight.

'Where the hell was that man?' she thought 'Really, I stop to think for just a mere second and he leaves me alone.'

Hitomi looked all around her, but could not see where Van was. She let out a frustrated sigh. She truly hated him with all her heart. Only

thinking about him made her angry. He had a gift for frustrating her.

"Van Fanel, where do you think you are going without me?" she yelled as loud as she could.

For a moment, everything was quite around her. She closed her eyes. She was used to this by now. When she stopped to long to look at

something or think about something, he left. He was so quite about it that she never noticed till she was out of her trance. He always came

back when she yelled at him. He never went too far. She knew he would have left her along time ago had he not needed her. She waited

patiently. Everything was quite, and she was getting a little scared. Suddenly, she felt someone behind her. She jumped a little and turned

around fast. There he was with a blank expression on his face.

"There's no need for scaring me, you know?" He didn't answer. She didn't expected him to, after all, he never did. She talked and

talked and talked about nothing just to fill the space between them. She missed the sound of voices and laughs. He was no good

company. Actually, he was good for nothing. Hitomi followed Van. They had been traveling for three weeks and they still hadn't arrived

at the Celt's temple. It had been little over a week since they had left Asturia behind.

"Are you sure you know where we are going?"

He grunted.

"I'll take that as a yes. You know, you could try to talk sometimes. It won't hurt you"

He just glared at her. Hitomi lowered her head and kept following him. She should really stop trying to talk to someone like him. He just

wasted her time and gave her headaches. What could she expect from him? She had to remember who he was. The infamous Dragon, a

mercenary, a killer, an assassin, whatever you wanted to call it. He enjoyed the fear he caused. He rejoiced as everything around him

went to ashes. He smiled/smirk after killing. His heart was black with hatred, if he had one. His illusions never existed. He never knew the

strength a simple dream could give someone. He hid in the dark, never letting anyone see him. He never felt the beams of the sun. All he

knew was darkness… Hitomi pun her hand on her forehead. She was not feeling good. She hoped she was not getting sick. She looked

at Fanel. She always imagined the Dragon as someone without a past, present or future. She had thought he had been crazy or something

like that, but of all the defects Van had, crazy wasn't on the list. He had chosen to kill on his own free will. He had never been obliged to

it. Hitomi was very confused. Her head told her that she should hate him more for that, but there was something that kept her from totally

hating him.

'He knows what it feels like to lose everyone important to you. He is overwhelmed with his duty to his family, just like me.'

Hitomi stopped her line of thoughts. Fanel and she had nothing in common. They were complete opposites. Comparing him to her was

like comparing a bird to a fish. They came from completely different worlds. If it wasn't for the fact that he scared her to dead, she would

have probably yelled at him a long time ago. The only thing that kept her from going as far away from him as she could was what Boris

had told them. No one else would be able to find Atlantis before Dornkirk. In their hands laid Gaea's destiny. She couldn't go back

because he made her miserable. She had to continue until the end. She had to stand been near him till everything was back to normal. It

was her duty to protect her people, even if it meant working with a mercenary. She took one last look at Van before taking him out of her

mind. She wasn't supposed to want to get to know him. Hitomi wandered for the tenth time why she felt the need to do so.

Saying that Dornkirk was mad was like saying that a tsunami was a storm. He was more than furious. For once, things hadn't gone the

way he had planned them. Van was supposed to be here by now, and he definitely wasn't. As far as Dornkirk remembered, he had told

him that kidnapping Kansaki was crucial to his plans. Without her, there was no way he could accomplish his goal. He knew he had an

army that could defeat all his enemies, but it would take too long, and he didn't just want to rule them. He wanted to own them, to know

their weak and strong points, to have total control of their minds and bodies. In order to own everything in this planet, he had to know

everything of Gaea; he had to poses the Heart of the Dragon. If he was to rule everyone's minds and bodies, he had to control its power.

Hitomi Kansaki was the only one that could tell him where the Heart was and how to use it. She should have been in his hands right now,

but for some unknown reason, she wasn't. Dornkirk thought about all the things that could have gone wrong. He couldn't think of one.

He had sent the right person to the right place with the perfect assignment. Van felt nothing but hatred towards everyone that wasn't with

Zaibach. He hated all living things, but he especially hated everyone that had any relation to Asturia. Sending him to the kingdom that had

destroyed his live was brilliant. His hatred blinded his judgments, and he wouldn't have doubts or questions about following his orders.

He wouldn't stop to think if what he was doing was right. To make it more amusing, he had sent him to kidnap the king's fiancé. He was

sure Van would loath anyone that loved Allen Schezar, king of Asturia. He was incapable of feeling anything nice towards another being,

so he wouldn't feel pity for the girl or anything else. He was the perfect weapon. Skilled, merciful, and deadly were adjectives fit only of

Van. He could only see one problem with sending Van, and it wasn't that horrible. Van could end up killing every noble in Asturia, and

that was just fine with him. Van was Dornkirk's best option for the job. It would even serve his revenge, so why was he not here?

Dornkirk felt another presence in the room.

"Dilandu"

"Yes, milord?" Dilandu appeared from the shadows, his red eyes shining.

"Van is not here, and I want you to find out why"

"It will be my pleasure, sir" A smile formed on Dilandu's lips. This was the moment he hah been waiting for. He would finally be able to

get rid of that rat.

"You will only report to me what you find out" Dornkirk added, already knowing what crossed Dilandu's mind "You will not do anything

to him without my permission. I don't want any rash actions, understood?"

Dilandu's smile disappeared. If Dornkirk ordered him not to touch Van, he couldn't do it.

"As you wish, milord"

"Good, if that is settled, leave immediately. Take your boys with you. You might need them" Dilandu left the room. Dornkirk knew he

would do as he had ordered. Soon, he would finally know why Van hadn't return. This mystery desperate h and intrigued him. He was

curious to know Van's reasons. A sudden thought crossed his mind, but he put it aside immediately. There was no way Van could have

found out the truth. Van would never betray Zaibach and Dornkirk. It was impossible.

"So, as I was saying before you left me, I think we should rest a while. Maybe we could go to a little town and sleep under a roof for

once…."

Bla, bla, bla. That was all Van heard from that girl. Her voice drove him insane. It pierced his ears. He was going to lose what little

patience he had left. The only thing Kansaki could do was talk and talk and talk. She was never silent, and when she was, she just

delayed him. She was nothing but a pain. Van could not stand her. He hated everything there was to her. He hated how she smiled about

little things, or laughed at stupid ones. She was always happy, and that irritated him. She was clumsy and weak. She couldn't do anything

for herself. He always had to hunt for both of them because se was incapable of killing anything. She was all about peace, and that was

something he could not stand. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt at peace. She had everything she wanted. She was queen of

a powerful kingdom, had always been pampered, and had never felt pain or sorrow. No problems or complications crossed her life. Her

life was perfect, and his was hell. He hated her for having everything he ha always dreamed of. She had a good past, a great present, and

a promising future. She was filled with dreams, hopes, and illusions. He had nothing. He couldn't stand her ideals and her dreams. He

could not believe that someone could trust humans to do better. His experience had shown him that humans would never be worthy of

life, but she believed that they did, and that they deserved to keep existing. She believed in life. He believed in death. He hated her spirit

and her personality. The one thing he hated most about her was the feeling she arose in him. He was curious about her. He wanted to

know how someone could be so naïve and innocent. He wanted to understand her, and that frustrated him to no end. He felt the need to

look into her eyes and feel everything she did. When he gazed into her green, big eyes, he felt, for a small moment, at peace. He even felt

like smiling. That was something he couldn't allow himself to do. What was worse was that he didn't know how she would act. She

simply didn't do what everyone else did. It was like she lived in another world. She misbalanced him and caught him of ward. For god's

sake, she had even tried to befriend him! He knew she feared him, but she had still tried to be friends with him. She probably couldn't

even stand him, but she always treated him as nicely as she could. He had never met anyone like her, and she confused him. She wasn't

worthy of all the problems she gave him. Since the first moment he had seen her, his world hadn't been the same. The way she loved life

made him wander why he hated it so much. He suddenly wanted to live like everyone else for just a moment, so that he could understand

what made her so happy. He even felt guiltier about all he had done. To top it all, he had to protect her. Stupid promises and codes of

honor. He had always been in control, but when she looked into his eyes he lost all of it. She searched into them, trying to find something.

He was scared of what she would find, and it made him uneasy to be close to her. He had begun hiding from her. He was never closed to

her and ignored her as much as he could. He didn't talk to her unless it was necessary. He needed to be like ice to her so that she didn't

affect his mind. Every time he saw her, he felt lonelier and wanted to open up to her. He couldn't allow that. He couldn't allow himself to

be weak. He had to revenge his family. He had to make Dornkirk pay for what he did to him. He had to kill. He had to be in pain and

sorrow so that he could make Zaibach pay. Happiness and dreams were for idiots. He wasn't an idiot, and it didn't matter that he

suddenly felt like been one. He hated her for what she did to him. He felt like breaking her neck so that he would be free of her. He

wanted her to feel pain so that she would stop smiling. He wanted her to suffer as mush as he had. He just wanted to free himself of her

presence. Why had he been given the responsibility of saving Gaea? AS if he didn't have enough problems. He was sure this was a

punishment for all the things he had done. He felt something hit him on the head. He turned and saw Kansaki with a rock on her had,

ready to throw it at him.

"Why did you do that?" he asked her

"You were ignoring me. I'm tired of been ignored."

Van really felt like killing her right now. The last of his patience was gone.

"You never say anything worthy of my attention. You just talk about stupid things like the sun, and you are always complaining about

everything. I'm tired of hearing your voice, of seeing you laughing, and of seen your fucking happy face" he yelled at her. He saw the

shine appear in her eyes. He knew he had gotten her mad.

"Well, at least I'm not feeling sorry about myself and blaming everyone of my luck"

"Shut up" Van's eyes went darker; a dangerous glow appeared in them "You don't know anything about that. You've never felt sorrow

or pain. Your life has always been easy. You have all you want, and you still complain about everything. You life inside a bubble, thinking

that pain doesn't exist. Well, let me tell you something. Not everyone is as lucky as you. You have nothing to worry about. You're

pathetic and you make me sick, you…"

Slap.

She had slapped him. He couldn't believe she had dared to do that. No one had ever been able to hit him, and this weak girl had slapped

her. A wave of anger floated through him. He got down form his horse, grabbed Hitomi by the arm and slammed her against a tree.

"Don't ever touch me again"

He saw her face go rigid. She wasn't scared; she was furious at him.

"You think you're the only one that has suffered? You are not, and you know nothing about my life. I'm from a noble family. I have to be

strong and happy so that everyone feels secure. I wasn't allowed to cry when my mother died. I didn't have time to mourn for my

father's dead. Everyone expects me to be perfect and strong. I am not allowed to ever be wrong. The lives of my kingdom's people

depend on me. If I make just the tiniest mistake, everyone can die. I know what pain is. My life is as distant from perfect as it can be.

You just blame everyone of your family's death and kill however gets in front of you. You are so scared of feeling that you decided to

hate everything and everyone. You're just a coward that can't get over your past. I hate you. I hate everything you've done to innocent

people. Why did you choose to kill? Of all the things you could have done, why that one? Wake up, everyone suffers. You're not the first

one to lose everything. I will never forgive you, Van Fanel, for killing so many people. You're lost and incapable of feeling anything

towards anyone. You're a monster"

Everything went quite. Van let go of Hitomi. She opened her mouth, but then though better about it. She ran as far away from him as she

could. Van stood where he was. It was like he had lost the ability to move. He felt, no, was scum. How had he not seen it? She too had

lost her family. She too knew what pain was like. Van punched the tree with all his force. Everything she had said was right. He was just

a coward, a monster…

Hitomi looked at the place where she was. She had run so fast and for such a long time, that she hadn't stopped to think. She couldn't

just run and never see Fanel again. They had things to do. As much as she didn't want to be close to him, she had to. Night was coming,

and she was lost. What else could go wrong? She heard a noise come from behind her. She turned around, but there was nothing. She

was getting very scared.

"Fanel, if that's you, then you better come out"

No one responded. She heard another noise from behind her and another and another. Whatever was there, it had her surrounded. She

gasped as red eyes appeared before her. There were eyes all around her. She let out a yell when something came to her, knocking her to

the ground. The last thing she though before fainting was the last thing she expected.

'Van'

I have finally ended this chapter. Sorry I couldn't update earlier, but I had so many homework it was impossible for me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, sorry for the cliffhanger, but I just had to put it. Oh, and sorry for updating two times chapter five, I just had some troubles with my computer. Oh, and yes. I do believe this story is going to be a little bit long. At least more than 18 chapters, but I'm not sure how much more. Well, review please because it makes my days, and I update faster when I'm happy. :)