Jerry Springer Show

"Wasting Technology since 1991."

The music started throughout the building and the crowd buzzed in excitement. Steve, the bald guy, walked through the door to find some people cheering and some random people booing. Smoke filled an entrance to the stage in a dramatic affect. A figure appeared in the smoke and walked onto the stage. The crowd cheered when they saw it was Jerry.

"Jerry…Jerry…Jerry!"

Jerry thanked the crowd and walked around shaking people's hands. The banner on the screen read, "Secrets, lies, cheaters, angels, masks, and mayhem!"

"Thank you." Jerry said to the crowd. He continued, "Thank you. Welcome to the show. Today our guests say they have secrets that need to be revealed. Let's meet Christine Daae."

The crowd cheered for the young woman sitting in the chair on the stage.

"Christine, tell us what's going on." Jerry said.

"Well it all started when I was younger. I met this man who became my teacher...my Angel of Music."

Jerry laughed for a second and asked, "Wait…your what?"

"My Angel of Music." She replied. Jerry had a blank expression on his face. Some people from the crowd snickered. A sudden sound effect of a choir of angels blared through the PA system. Everyone laughed at this but Christine looked upset.

"Sorry…" Jerry said, "Continue."

"He looked after me as I grew up…but it seems his feelings for me grew into something else."

"Like what?"

"Like he loved me."

"Oh, I see." Jerry said and then paused. "May I ask something?"

"Sure." Christine responded.

"Have you ever been touched by an angel?" The crowd laughed and then Jerry shook his head and said he was sorry. "I had to ask."

"Well I started to feel attracted to him too, but my childhood sweetheart came back into my life."

"Awww." Various people from the crowd said.

"And it was a constant struggle to choose between the two. When my angel committed crimes I choose Raoul, my childhood sweetheart."

Another sound came from the PA system; it was the sound of police sirens.

"Something tells me this guy isn't much of an angel." Jerry muttered.

"So I became engaged to Raoul but eventually started to fall back in love with my angel…"

The heavenly choir sounded throughout the building. Christine ignored it and continued.

"But the time came for me to choose again and I chose Raoul. But I brought him here to tell him a secret."

"Uh oh…" The crowd said.

"Just wondering, when is the wedding?" Jerry asked.

"In three days." Christine replied.

"That's not good." Jerry commented. He paused and then asked, "What is this secret?"

"I've been with my Angel again." Christine replied.

Jerry laughed and looked on his cards, "Just to let you know…your 'angel' is named Erik. I'm telling you because it's starting to sound a little weird when you say that."

The audience clapped for Jerry and then he said, "Ok…well. Let's meet your fiancé, Raoul."

The crowd cheered as Raoul walked on the stage. "Raoul, welcome to the show."

"Thanks Jerry." Raoul replied.

"Christine, do you have something to tell Raoul?" Jerry asked.

"Yes." She turned her attention to her fiancé. "Raoul…we have been through so much. But I brought you here to tell you I'm back with my Angel…"

"Erik." Jerry laughed. The choir of angels blared through the PA system.

Raoul jumped up from his seat, "What? How can you do this to me! After all I've done for you…He almost killed me for God's sake!"

"Wow." Jerry raised his eyebrows and muttered.

Some random girl from the audience raised her hand. Jerry walked over to her and held out the microphone.

Random E/C phangirl: "It's about damn time you chose Erik! Raoul's a fop!"

Raoul walked towards the edge of the stage, "Yo…you wanna go at it?"

Steve held him back and the E/C phangirl stuck her tongue out at Raoul. Raoul sat back down next to Christine but then shouted, "You can suck my ass."

Random E/C phangirl: "I'd rather not."

Raoul ignored her and turned his attention back to Christine. "How could you?"

"I love Erik."

"We'll meet this Angel named Erik after this commercial break." Jerry said.

The audience jumped up and cheered, "Jerry…Jerry…Jerry!"

Commercials:

Commercial one: "This is Bob. Bob is looking cool, and with a call to Enzyte about natural male enhancement… Bob is livin' large. He gains a generous swelling of pride and a big spring in his step……….Enzyte the once a day tablet for natural male enhancement."

Commercial two: is so easy a caveman could use it…ha ha ha." The man said. It then showed a clip of this man with two cavemen, "Seriously, we didn't even know you guys were still around"

"Next time do a little research," One caveman said.

The waiter arrives. "Gentlemen, are we ready to order?"

"I'll take the roast duck," caveman on the left says, "with mango Salsa."

Caveman on the right hands the waiter the menu back, says "I don't have much of an appetite," and then glares disdainfully at Geico guy.

Commercial three: "Having problems with bullies at school? The Love Muffins can help! We are a professional team of mafia members who will protect your ass. Sign up today! Call 1-800- SUCK MY MUFFIN, do it now!"

End of Commercials

Announcer: "Do you believe the man in the walls is an angel sent by your deceased father? If so you can be apart of the Jerry Springer show!"

"Welcome back. If you're just joining us we have Christine here who just told her fiancé that she is again with her 'Angel'. Let's meet this Angel named Erik." Jerry said.

The crowd cheered as Erik walked through the entrance. Raoul got up to tackle him but Steve stood between them.

Erik walked over to Christine and kissed her. This infuriated Raoul. He slipped past Steve and tackled Erik to the floor.

"Jerry…Jerry…Jerry!" The crowd chanted.

Erik and Raoul went at it for 15 seconds but calmed down afterward. Jerry watched on and wondered something. "Welcome to the show Erik. May I ask why you're wearing a mask?"

Erik looked nervous about that question but answered, "I was born with a deformity."

"Oh…I see." Jerry replied. "Why does she believe you're an angel?"

"I told her that so I could get closer to her."

"Yeah…I've been in a situation like that plenty of times." Jerry joked. "But all kidding aside, that's not the best way to go about a relationship."

"I know that now." Erik replied.

"I can't believe you Erik…Why didn't you tell me about this?" Raoul asked. Christine looked confused to Raoul's questioning. Why would Erik talk to Raoul?

Jerry looked at his card and said, "Wow…this is interesting. Raoul has a secret to tell you Christine."

"What?" Christine questioned Raoul.

"Christine. For the past 2 months I've been sleeping with Erik." Christine's eyes grew wide at his statement.

The crowd laughed and cheered. "Oh snap!" One random girl yelled.

"Erik…" Christine said.

"It's the truth." Erik admitted.

"Oh my God…this is…disgusting!"

Another girl from the crowd raised her hand. Jerry handed her the microphone.

E/R slash phangirl: "I'm a big fan of Erik and Raoul pairing, and I say good riddance to Christine. Erik and Raoul belong together."

"Hell no." Erik said.

"Oh, so you don't want to be in a relationship with Raoul?" Jerry asked.

"No…I don't even know why I was. I think it's all because of these shipper people." Erik said.

"But Erik…I love you." Raoul said.

"Get the hell away from me. I'm not gay." Erik said walking away from Raoul. A buzzard claiming he was wrong came from the familiar PA system.

"I'm not gay!" Erik repeated. The buzzard sounded again.

A random Erik phangirl: "He is not gay! Look at him, he's a frickin sex god."

"I like women." Erik said.

"Well…I can't blame you. He does look a little like a woman." Jerry commented towards Raoul.

"I'm not gay." Erik continued.

"If you're sleeping with a man then that would make you gay…or bi." Jerry said.

"But I'm not either one. I love Christine." Erik replied. "I have no choice…this authoress is controlling me!" (A/N: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe)

Erik starts to take of his shirt for some unknown reason. Christine stares at him and strangely so does Raoul.

"Go on the pole…Go one the pole…Go on the pole!"

Erik walked to the pole and started to do a strip tease for the audience. Jerry's music played and the lights dimmed. Erik slid around the pole while dancing.

"Jerry…Jerry…Jerry!"

"We have yet another secret in store for everyone! Right after these commercials." Jerry announced.

The crowd cheered and the camera zoomed into Erik before the show went to the commercials.