Yey, I finally end this chapter. It was so difficult for me. Just so you now, it is not as dark as I intended it to be because I

decided to do something horrible in the next chapter or in chapter 11. I'm not sure yet. Oh, and sorry for uploading so late.

You are welcome to try to kill my teachers for leaving me so much homework. Okay, I'll stop babbling and leave you with

my story. Love your reviews.

The pain of loving you

Darkness consumes us

"I'm scared"

"Of what?"

Hitomi looked at the horizon. Something was wrong. She could feel it. She had a feeling that if they went to the next place they were

supposed to go to something very bad would happen. She hated not knowing what it was. She hated to feel so scared and helpless.

'I'm scared of what is ahead of us' she thought. There was no way she could tell this to Van. He thought she was never down. He

imagined she never feared the future. She couldn't break the image he had of her. Funny, how she had ended up trying to live to his

expectations.

"I'm scared of… of not finding the Heart in time"

It was almost the truth. Now a day, she was scared of so many things she didn't know how she could keep smiling. The responsibilities

she had before were nothing compared to all the ones she had now. She didn't just have to pretend to have the perfect life in front of all

the court. Now, she had to safe the court. She had to safe all of Gaea if she wanted a future. Well, not if she wanted a future. She had to

safe the world if she wanted a future for everyone else but her. If what she had seen had been right, she would have to sacrifice herself.

She was fighting for a future that would never be hers, and that was just fine. It was what she had been raised to do. She never really had

a private life; her life belonged to her people. She never did anything for herself; every move she made was for her people. What made

them happy and secure was fine with her. Whatever she needed to do for them she would do. It didn't matter if the price she had to pay

was too high. The only thing that mattered was them. It was not until now, two months from her father's death, that she truly realized all

the obligations she now had. She was Queen Hitomi. She wasn't even a princess anymore. Her kingdom depended completely and

utterly on her and no one else. Van and she were taking to long to find the Heart. If something happened to her kingdom she would never

forgive herself. Hitomi thought about Van. She had been so busy been angry at him, trying to befriend him, figuring him out, and trying not

to care about him that she had forgotten all her responsibilities. When she was with him, she forgot about everything else. She forgot to be

a queen and was just a normal person. She was just Hitomi, and that was dangerous. A queen could never forget to be a queen. She was

a figure for thousands of people, and they all looked up at her. She was not allowed to be weak, insecure, or selfish. She had to be what

everyone wanted her to be. Maybe that was the reason why she liked Van so much. With him, she didn't have to pretend… well, most

of the time.

'He makes me forget who I'm supposed to be.' That was unforgivable. She couldn't allow herself such privilege. She had to stop caring

about him. She couldn't let herself want him anymore than what she already did. He had to get out of her mind before something horrible

happened. Besides, it wasn't like she couldn't life without him. She was pretty sure she wouldn't miss him if he went away. She didn't

need him by her side to be happy. He was just another of her friends, the weirdest one, but just another one. It wasn't like he was

something more to her. How could he be something more to her when she had the perfect fiancé waiting for her? Van would never be

able to compare to Allen. Van wasn't even his best friend.

"Hitomi?"

He truly wasn't anything more to her that just a friend. The tickles she felt in her stomach whenever he said her name didn't prove

otherwise.

"Yes?"

"I… where are we going?"

A shiver ran through her body. She had seen the place in her mind, and she had seen how to get there. The problem was what was

waiting for them there. She hadn't been able to see it. It had hided in the shadows. Still, Hitomi had been able to feel its strong, evil

magical powers. Whatever it was, it wouldn't let them pass without defeating it.

"We are going to Glendalough" she stopped walking "You know the place right?" He nodded. "It isn't far from here. We should arrive

there in no time" Van rode his horse.

"We better hurry" he told her. She didn't move. Something had crossed her mind.

"Van, promise me that whatever we encounter there, you will not lose your head"

She didn't know why she said this, but she had a feeling that something was going to happen to him.

"Why would I lose my head?"

He sounded insulted, and Hitomi couldn't help but laugh out loud. There were lots of reasons for him to lose his mind. As far as Hitomi

had been able to see, Van couldn't keep his rage in. He exploded as easily as powder. He just had a very… irritating personality.

"Van, we both know you don't control your instincts very well"

He lowered his eyes, and Hitomi realized her mistake. For some strange reason, he was trying to change. That was the reason why

Hitomi had given him the precious second chance. She figured he was trying to change to try to mend some of the horrible things he had

done in his past. As much as Hitomi had gotten used to his presence, sometimes she remembered what he used to be and feared him.

The moment lasted but a second, but it was enough to make Hitomi doubt him. As much as she tried, she couldn't trust him.

"Promise me you won't lose control" She shouldn't be asking for promises to someone she didn't trust.

"Fine, whatever, I promise" Hitomi allowed herself the tiniest of smiles.

"Good, Van, do you know what Glendalough is?"

"I know little"

"Will you tell me?" She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"It is the place where dark magic is born. I've never been there. Dornkirk once sent one man and one woman over there. Only the man

came back. He was never the same. Eventually, Dornkirk sentenced him to death. It appeared he was too violent and dangerous to have

around. No one missed him. I didn't even care. I… Hitomi, it is a dark, evil place. Perhaps you shouldn't go"

"I will go with you" she said defiantly "How does the place look like?"

"I can only tell you what I've heard. Glendalough is at the top of a hill. It is surrounded by tombs and bones. No one knows who they

belong to, but they represent death. Right in the middle of death, a huge black tree can be seen. It is the place where evil is born.

However has been touched by evil will be attracted to the tree. There is also a guardian. It protects the tree. That is all I know"

Hitomi looked at Van. He turned around and rode his horse. Hitomi followed his example. She could feel the place coming nearer. She

felt like curling up and crying, but she didn't. No evil would be able to defeat her. She would face whatever was ahead of her with

determination. Only one thing had her worried.

What if it got Van? He had been, after all, evil at one point of his life.

Van felt uneasy. Glendalough was the last place in Gaea where he wanted to go right now. He felt a little guilty. He hadn't told Hitomi

everything he knew. The guardian, whose name, if he remembered right was Ulaidh, sucked people's life and happiness. That was its

most deadly technique. That was the only power Van knew it had. It consumed whoever had one single evil thought. Anyone that was

capable of hating could be hurt by Ulaidh. Van wondered who the bloody hell was Ulaidh. No one knew what or who exactly it was.

The only thing everyone knew was that it was very powerful. That was so helpful. Really, his and Hitomi's life would be safe thanks to all

the idiots that had concluded that the guardian was very powerful. He truly felt like punching the brilliant idiot that had investigated so

much about the stupid guardian. They just gave him another reason for hating humans. They were all idiots that couldn't even help when

needed. He glanced at Hitomi. Okay, most of them were useless. No, all of them were useless. Hitomi wasn't completely human. She

was a seer. That made her less human, right? His head was starting to hurt. This was getting pointless, and he really should stop

discussing with himself. Suddenly, he heard Hitomi scream. Every part of his body moved towards her. He turned around quickly to see

what had happened.

"What's wrong? Hitomi, what happened?"

She was on the ground, and she had a bump on her head.

"I…it's just that…the…"

Van gave her a confused look.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I…I was looking at some butterfly, and I didn't look ahead, and I fell from the horse when I hit a branch"

"…"

"Van?"

Van felt his anger arise.

"You are such an idiot. Why, you can't even ride a horse without hurting yourself. You are so clumsy and useless. You've just recovered

from what Dilandu did to you, and you are already getting hurt again!"

"Don't yell at me. It's not like I wanted to bump my head"

"Just be more careful"

"Why do you care?"

"…"

"Answer me"

Van knew he couldn't tell her the truth, so he lied.

"I don't care. I just don't want to delay"

"Why?"

"Because I need to revenge my family"

"Oh"

Van saw the hurt the moment it appeared in her eyes. He truly felt like dying right there and there. He wanted to tell her that he simply

cared about her, and that he worried about her all the time, but he couldn't. She already made him weak; he didn't want her to have total

control over him. If he opened up more to her, that was sure to happen. I was inevitable for someone like him. He had never cared about

anyone before, so he didn't know how to act. He had tried all his life to forget how to feel, and she had come and in a moment had

changed everything in his life. She hadn't even asked for permission. She had intruded his life. It was all new to him. Damn it, he didn't

even know what he felt. He only knew that it was something that was growing stronger as days passed by. It had gotten out of his hands

and was changing him slowly. For instances, he couldn't be mean towards her anymore. The coldness that used to be part of him had

been slowly melting. The way he has just snapped at her had been more a protection than a way to make her feel less. He had been so

worried about her. When he saw that it was something unimportant, he had felt silly. Frustration had also been part of it. How was he

supposed to protect her if she couldn't even duck a tree? Stupid, clumsy girl. She just brought trouble into his life.

"I'm sorry"

Did he hear right? Why was she apologizing for? She had to be crazy. She had nothing to be sorry about.

"What for?"

"For been such a pain in the ass" Van didn't know what to do or say "I won't get in your way anymore" She left him alone, feeling very

little, and in the middle of the suddenly big forest.

Millerna was getting very nervous. Men could be such idiots. Tap, tap, tap, she hated that noise.

"Stop it" Silence, finally "Allen, I know this war is getting on everyone's nerves, but you need to calm down"

"Calm down? How exactly am I supposed to calm down? A stupid was is taking place at the stupid frontier of my stupid kingdom, and

to make it worse, Hitomi is away with the Dragon on an impossible and stupid task, and I haven't heard one word from her!"

"So? Allen, you are king of Asturia. You are not allowed to lose your head. This war depends on your clear head. You know we are

barely holding. What are we going to do if you became insane or worse? Our situation is not an easy one, and anyone that could have

helped us is already here. We depend on your war strategies and decisions. I'm sure Hitomi is fine, so get her out of your head for now"

Allen closed his eyes. He had a feeling that maybe Hitomi was a little bit better than fine. That definitely didn't do anything to settle down

his nerves.

"Allen, you need to concentrate on the war. Forget everything else" Dryden had come into the room and was casually leaning on the wall. Millerna went to meet him, and their hand intertwined with each others. She gave him a little smile.

"I…"

Dryden interrupted him.

"People are dying out there. Our people's blood is spilled over our land and our troops are slowly reducing. People are wondering if they

are going to see tomorrow. Allen, you are our only opportunity. Only you can bring this people hope. Don't let them die"

Allen felt like a little child been sermon. He was getting irritated. He was the king, for Gaea's sake! How dare they talk to him like that?

He turned to snap at the, but was met by Millerna's peaceful, blue eyes, and Dryden's calm, brown ones. Even in the worst of situation,

they kept their heads and showed their loved for each other. They were the best friends Allen could have ever hoped to have, and he

knew they were right. He walked with his hands on his back towards the window and looked at his kingdom. So many people depended

on him! He saw the people that belonged to his kingdom, and the ones he had refuge in it. A little child looked up to him. He smiled

happily at him and waved his hand. His mother came, looked at what the child had seen and bowed. Allen made a sign with his head. The

woman left with her child, who turned around and gave him one last smile. As they went away, he discovered that they had no shoes.

They belonged to the lowest class. If he lost this war, they would probably become slaves or be killed. He couldn't allow that to happen.

He needed to stop thinking about his romantic life and start focusing on his duty. He looked at his friend with new determination in his

eyes. He was King Allen Schezar, and no country would ever defeat him. He wasn't going to lose against Zaibach.

Hitomi rode her horse quietly. She didn't look anywhere but at the ground. She didn't make any move or sound. It was as if her body

had forgotten to move. Her mind, on the other hand, was a completely different story.

'Bastard, he is such a bastard' she had never been madder before 'I hate him. How dare he make me feel so…unloved?'

'Why do you care so much?' Great, another argument with her mind, or was it her heart?

'Why do you care so much?'

'I don't. It's just that…I thought we were friends'

He hasn't said otherwise. Besides, maybe that is the problem'

'Huh?'

'Forget it'

'Argh, I just wish he wasn't so cold and mean towards me. All I am to him is a stupid way to get his revenge'

'That hurts'

'Yes'

'Maybe it hurts because you want to be more than just friends'

'…'

'See?'

'Stop saying nonsense. Why would I want someone that is so cold and cruel and inhuman to be something else to me?'

'Because he is everything you wish you could be'

'He is a stupid, unmerciful, emotionless person that happens to be a mercenary, too. Enlighten me; what part of him do I want to be?'

"He's more than that'

Hitomi decided that not only the world was against her. Her mind was, too. She heard Van approach her but did not look up. She wasn't

going to forgive him this time.

"Hitomi?"

She wouldn't even talk to him.

"Hitomi" This time he said more like an order.

"What?" She snapped at him.

"We have arrived" She looked at the look he had on his face. He looked nervous. She had never seen him look anything but confident,

emotionless and mean. She forgot to be angry at him. She was suddenly aware of the way darkness surrounded everything.

"I thought it would be worse" she told him.

"This is only the beginning"

Hitomi's bad feeling increased.

"Van, are you sure you want to do this? I can go alone"

"Why are you saying that? Do you think I can't handle it?"

"No, it's just that…" you are a cold blooded mercenary that's been definitely touched by evil, and I don't want anything to happen to

you "You aren't the most… good person in the world"

After her words, and uncomfortable silence fell between them. Hitomi regretted what she had said, but she wouldn't take it back. It was

the truth. Van wasn't safe in this place. Something terrible could happen to him. She was much more pure than him, therefore, safer. She

could take whatever was getting for the both of them.

"Hitomi, I need to do this. I don't know why, but I know I have to do it"

Hitomi took one long look at him.

"Of course you have to do it. Come on, let's go"

Each step they took brought them closer to the guardian, to Ulaidh. Every second that passed was worse than the one before. Darkness

was closing in around them, and there was nothing they could do. Hitomi felt as if she had never known the light. She felt her hope fade

away. She took Van's hand out of instinct. There was something about having him near that calm her. She took another step into the

darkness. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel so hopeless? She felt as if she had never seen sunlight. All she knew was the sad

shining of the moon. Not even stars existed in her world. What was the point of living is she was going to die? Hitomi tried to clear her

head. Those were not her thoughts. She loved life. Someone was trying to put false ideas in her mind. Van squished her hand. Hitomi

took a little strength in that act. If she was having troubles, he had to be having hell. She had to be strong, for him. She took another step.

An aura of evil pressed against her, trying to win over her soul. She could hear voices in her mind.

No one cares about you. They just want you to be perfect

You're just a pampered girl who know nothing about pain

Your father is death. You are now queen

Marry Allen for the sake of your kingdom

Your happiness is not important, only they matter

Hitomi tried to fight the voices. She desperately tried to get away from the evil that was trying to consume her.

You will die, no matter what. It is your destiny, so why not now? I will make it painless

Hitomi felt like giving into what the voice said. What was the point of living one more second?

No one will care

She had nothing to live for. Van's holds tighten, and she came back to herself. What was she thinking? She loved to live, and would

never give away one mere second of her life. She had to hold tight to the illusion of a better future. She couldn't give up on live when

there were so many wonderful things to live for. She wouldn't surrender when there were people that believed in her.

But no one believes in you. They even send a mercenary to look after you

She tried to ignore the voice. Van believed in her.

No, he doesn't. He thinks you are pathetic. Besides, you don't even trust him

Maybe that was true, she thought, but it wasn't a good reason to give up. She wouldn't give up on her dreams and illusions. Even if no

one believed in her, she would go on till the end.

Dreams never become reality. Illusions always fade away. Look at your life. You thought your parents would always be with

you, but they are dead. You dreamed of a great love, but you have an arranged marriage. Your greatest illusion was to live

forever happy, but you know pain so well, you sometimes wander why you keep smiling

She didn't care. It didn't matter that destiny had been cruel to her. Live was to precious to give away. True, she knew pain, but she also

knew happiness. If she was going to marry Allen, it was for a greatest good. She mustn't disappoint the ones who held on to her. Her

kingdom needed her.

Your duty is your burden

She would hold on to her life and believes until the end. Her kingdom depended on her. Besides, she truly wanted to see the sun again,

and she wanted to dance and smile and do so many things. Over all, she wanted to make things right with Van. Her reflexes became alert

as she felt a ball of dark energy come towards her. She closed her eyes, knowing she wouldn't be able to duck it, but it never hit her.

Hitomi opened her eyes and saw Van in front of her. He had taken the blow for her. She moved towards him, but some king of magic

pulled him away from her, out of her sight. Their grip loosened, and she no longer held his hand in hers. She had lost the one thing that

had kept her going. The voices in her head increased, and she let herself fall into the darkness.

Finally, I finished it. I wanted to update on Tuesday, but it was impossible. Also, this chapter wasn't going to end here, but I decided to

be mean and make it a cliffhanger. Oh, and I decided to do a very cruel thing, and you will hate me for it, but you'll have to wait to find

out. Anyway, please review. I love you all. Jajaja, poor Hitomi. Wander what happened to Van