Ok, it took me like 6 hours to write this chapter, so you better enjoy it. Trust me, it is easier to write about battles than
emotions, but they are definitely necessary. I'm glad you are enjoying this fanfic. I adore my fanfic. I don't want it to ever
end. It's my first story with two digits, and it's far from done. Ok, go on and read and review.
The pain of loving you
Two steps back
Blood was coming from his opened wound, and pain filled every fiber in his body. Everything had happened to fast for him to understand
yet. One moment, he had been standing with her, holding her hand, helping her get through the confusion and desperation he knew she
was feeling, and next moment, he was jumping in front of her to take the blow that was never meant for him. It had hurt like hell, but he
hadn't care. At least, she was safe, but for how long? The thought of her being hurt was even more painful than his physical pain. He had
to find her and protect her, and he needed to do it fast. He had felt her insecurity rise the moment he had been forced let go of her hand,
and he didn't know if she would be able to stand all the darkness that lived in this place. She had been born for light, and all this darkness
would extinguish her. He, unlike her, was so used to the dark that this place had almost felt like home. Almost was the key word. As
much as he knew evil and darkness, he didn't want to be part of them anymore. He felt comfortable with the aura of this place, but he
didn't want to be…for her. Van grinned. Amazing how he could think of her even in these moments. Months ago, this place would not
have uneasy him. It would have calmed him because he would know a place in Gaea was like him, and that would have meant that his life
had some sort of meaning. If Gaea could afford to have a place made out of evil, then he could afford to have a heart full of hatred.
Things were not the same now. He didn't feel calm. He was actually very nervous. This place reminded him of what he had been, still
was, andwhat he still needed.Glendaluogh brought the worse out of him. He could feel his bloog boiling, wanting him to kill, destroy,
slash. His need for revengewas higher here than anywere else. He would love to have Dornkirk in front of him and just hit him till he died.
Van felt like running away. He wanted to forget his past, and Glendalough vivified it. He would give anything for a chance to start
all over again, and it hurt to know that second chances didn't exist for him. If he left his past behind, he would never revenge his family
and kingdom. If he never revenged them, then he would just be a failure. The last draconian could be everything but a failure. Been a
failure was been nothing, and he wanted to be something for her. Stupid feelings that managed to reduced everything into one thought, o
ne single word . Hitomi. His world revolved around her and everything he had been doing for the last months was for her. After his r
evenge, she was the one thing that he cared about most. His head jerked as he heard a giggle from behind him. His body froze, and he
got up slowly. Nothing had ever been able to make him feel frighten, but the sound of that giggle was not human or anything close to it. It
was the sound of certain death and pain. It was the sound of Ulaidh´s laugh. Van gathered his courage and turned towards the guardian.
If he was expecting something from the guardian, it was definitely not this. A striking, gorgeous woman stood in front of him. Her hair
reached her feet, and it was a vivid red color. Her skin was as pale as snow, and her lips a deep red. Her eyes were midnight blue, and if
perfection ever existed, it was reflected on her. She was comfortably stretched on the branch of the most beautiful tree Van had seen. It
was a silver color, every one of its leaves a metallic blue. It was as thick as a hundred men and it went as high as the sky. Van quickly
identified it as the source of all evil.
"Welcome home, Van Fanel" her voice was colder that ice.
"How do you know my name, and who are you?" it was stupid to ask her who she was. Van already knew the answer, but he was
getting more and more nervous, and his thoughts had stopped been coherent.
"I know your name because you are just like me. You know who I am, but if I must tell you to put away all doubts, I will. I am Ulaidh,
guardian of Glendalough, and protector of the sacred source of evil"
"I am not like you" he said it defiantly, daring her. She laughed at his words.
"You are what I want you to be and nothing more. Your heart and soul are so full of hatred and evil that it could not be any other way"
she inspected him "You are hungry for killing. You lust for blood. What stops you from having what you desire?" She looked into his
eyes, but found them empty. She would not find the answers she wanted there. She needed to go deeper. She jumped from the tree
gracefully and made her way towards Van. He took a step back as she came nearer, and cursed loudly when he found himself trapped
between the tree and Ulaidh.
"Fanel, you have no place to run to"
Hitomi's eyes were blank. Not one sign of emotion could be seen on them. She lay inert on the mud. She looked death. The voices in her
mind kept torturing and killing her soul. Flashes of painful events kept flashing in her mind, painfully carving in her heart.
Flashback
"Father, what happened to mommy? Why is she not awake?"
"Hitomi, listen to me carefully" Hitomi' father looked very tired and old. Hitomi had never seen him look anything but strong "Your
mother was very sick, and now…" his voice broke, but he started again "Sometimes, one person can have a very strong spirit, but their
body is not as strong as them, and the spirit can't be trapped in such a weak body, so they need to go out" Hitomi looked at him confuse.
"I don't understand, daddy" he looked away.
"Hitomi, your mother's spirit has left her body. She won't wake up ever again. She has gone to a better place and will now look after us
from up above" Hitomi felt tears coming out of her eyes.
"You can't cry, no matter how painful this may be. You are the lady of the Kansaki Kingdom now, and you have to be strong. No one
can see your pain" Hitomi understood what her father told him. Her life was not hers anymore. It belonged to her people. From then on,
she never allowed anyone to see her tears. As her mother's body was taken out of her room, Hitomi forced herself to look and gave a
sad smile to a servant that looked her way.
End flashback
You weren't allowed to cry for your mother. You never shed a tear for her, but you did for your father, don't you feel guilty
about that?
Hitomi didn't answer, but her eyes became colder.
Tell me, has anyone seen you as anything but a tool?
This time, Hitomi did thought about it. Her father had used her as an image of strength. Allen wanted her because their marriage would
enable peace between their kingdoms. Her people looked up to her for hope. Van was with her because she could help him get his
revenge. Every single person she knew used her. They all took a little bit of her and left her a little emptier as they went away. No one
cared for her. No one would cry if she died.
You know it is the best for you. Give yourself to death. It won't hurt, It will take away all your pain
Hitomi closed her empty eyes. Yes, she would die. She would end all her misery.
Flashback
"Have you ever enjoyed a sunset?" Hitomi asked Van
"I never cared or had the time to"
"As your friend, I can't let you not enjoy a sunset. They're beautiful. You'll like it"
He looked at her weirdly.
"How do you know I'll like it? I don't even know what like"
She laughed.
"I know everything, and what I don't know, I find out. I'll help you find what you like"
"I don't need to know what I like. I don't need you or anyone else. I've never had" "I don't care. I'll be here, even if you don't want me
to."
End flashback
Hitomi opened her eyes fast. She couldn't die. She had promised Van to be there for him, no matter what.
Flashback
"Why are you scared of dying?" he asked her.
"I'm not scared of dying" she looked into his eyes "I just don't want to"
End Flashback
Hitomi's eyes suddenly came to life. She laughed loudly and got up from the mud. She had never wanted to die. She had always lived to
enjoy the small moments that made life so spectacular. Life was a gift, and she wasn't dumb enough to give it away. Her necklace started
to glow a pink, soft color. A strong light surrounded her, and the spell that had been over her broke.
"I will not be defeated with such cheap tricks" she yelled to no one in particular "I will fight until there is no else in this world to fight for. I
will fight until every living being has lost hope, and then I'll keep on fighting for all the people that I once cared about. I will never give up"
Somewhere, a rage yell was heard
Ulaidh cursed when she felt that little, insignificant, weak girl fall free from her spell. How, in the name of all evil, had she been able to free
herself from her powerful grasp? She felt Van struggling with her, and focused all her attention back to him. She would deal with the girl
later. Now, she had to put Van under her spell. She put her hand on his forehead and whispered a chant. He fought a little at the
beginning, but relaxed almost immediately. He could hear her voice inside his mind.
"What do you want?" she asked him.
"I want to revenge my family" he said. She frown. He was hiding something.
"What do you really want?" His mind stayed silenced "Perhaps you don't know what you want. It doesn't matter. What does your body
need? " She didn't wait for an answer and searched for it herself. Everything was color red in his mind. She had seen many minds before,
but none of them had have so much despair and pain as this one did. It was perfect material for her. His body was begging him to kill.
She didn't know why, but he had refused to follow his instincts. Something stopped him. She twisted something in his mind, and he fell on
his knees, but he refused to cry out in pain. If he didn't want to follow his instincts, then she would oblige him to do it.
"You belong to me, so you will do as I order. Kill whatever comes into your path. Forget your new emotions and relay on your old ones.
You lust for blood, so go get it. Embrace your dark side. Go, do what you do best, Dragon"
Van opened his eyes. His brown orbs were color red. He grabbed his sword and went to hunt. The only thought that was on his head
was the satisfactory feeling that came after a kill. Ulaidh was sure he would get the girl for her. Her minutes were counted.
Hitomi ran, searching desperately for Van. She knew something was wrong. The idiot had obviously lost control. She could feel it. She
had to find him before he did something stupid. She wouldn't let him fall back into his previous self. He had opened up so much that
letting him fall was a sin. She raised her necklace and trust herself to do the right thing.
I don't know how you work, or the power you hold she whispered to it softly But someone important to me is in danger, and I don't
know how to find him she hoped this would work please help me find him She raised her arm and her necklace spine in fast circles. Then,
without warning, it stopped, signaling to a place full of fog. Hitomi sighed. Of course you had to go get yourself in trouble in a very
spooky place she let out a small smile I guess it would not be you if it was any other way She made herself toward the fog. Entering it
was not the difficult part. Sure it was very spooky and the hair in the back of her neck had risen, but walking while the fog made circles
around you, that was a totally different thing. She couldn't see the ground was barely able to see beyond her nose, but she kept on
looking for him and yelling his name. She knew he was getting close to him. She could feel it. A shadow caught her attention, but it
disappeared immediately. She was truly getting frightened.
"Van?" she didn't yell it. She whispered it. The only sound that could be heard was the wind.
'Let it be Van' she prayed. Last time something like this had happened, she had end up been torture by Dilandu. Another shadow
appeared on the other side. This time, it stayed put. Hitomi walked towards it, and sighed in relief as she recognized it as Van's.
"I've been so worried about you. I though something bad had happened to you. Your wound is opened. Don't you feel the pain?"
He didn't answer her, and she thought it was odd. They had passed the ignore me part a long time ago.
"Van, are you okay?"
He took a step towards her and Hitomi gasped as she saw his eyes. They were the color of blood. She took a step back. What was
wrong with him? Why were his eyes red? Why did he have his sword out?
"Van, don't you recognize me?" From his expression, it was obvious he didn't. His movement seemed wild, as if he wasn't thinking about
what he was doing, yet he held his sword gracefully.
"Van?" Their eyes locked and Hitomi felt like crying. His Van was not there anymore. She felt nothing but fear as she looked into his
eyes. She preferred the coldness she had seen the first time their eyes had crossed paths to this wild expression he now held. Van was
not there anymore. She was only able to see the Dragon. She started to run as fast as she could, but she knew it was useless. He was
right behind herm, almost toying with her. Hitomi had no chance against him. Hitomi lost her balance and was met by the floor. Van
slowly made his way towards her. She tried to get up, but her knees gave in, and she fell again. She felt hopeless again. She didn't know
what to do with this knew Van. He grabbed her by the shirt and furiously slammed her against a rock. Her back hit the edge of it, and
pain invaded her body. She knew he was enjoying it. She didn't know what had changed, but the physical pain he was putting her
through was nothing compared to the emotional pain. She had been so close to trusting him. She had considered him a friend. He had
been there for her when she thought dark would consume her, and it had been his memory the one that had saved her from dying. She felt
betrayed by him. Her head told her to get up and leave him in the state he was in, but her heart wanted to know the reason for his
change.
"Why are you doing this?" she was begging him to give him an answer "why are you hurting me?" His answer made her close her eyes.
As much as it hurt her, she had to admit that he was just a mercenary, and nothing more.
He felt a presence near him and went to hunt it. When he found her and smelled her fear, he knew he would be able to satisfy his urge to
kill. She talked to him, but her words were incoherent in his ears. All he heard was Ulaidh´s voice ordering him to kill. He knew that was
the voice said was his reality. It was what he wanted to do. He wanted to smell her blood. He needed to make her scream in pain. She
ran from him, and he followed her patiently. He was a mercenary, and he loved to hunt for his prey. It made it all more interesting. He
caught up with her and send her flying towards a rock. It was intoxicating, the way her scream made his desire for killing intensify. She
said something more at him, but he blocked the words. All sane thought had left his mind, and the only thing left were his instincts. He
grabbed her by the throat and raised her high over his head. It was so easy, the way one could end someone's existence. Life was so
fragile. A thin line separated life from death, and the Dragon knew just how to make someone crossed it. He locked eyes with the girl,
wanting to see her desperation as she felt her life be dragged out, but he didn't find fear or despair. Her eyes held the last feeling he had
expected. They held a deep betray. When she spoke, he listened.
"I thought you were different, Van. I thought you cared about me. I thought you were something more than an abomination" It took a lot
of effort from her to say just that, but it made the Dragon doubt. Who was Van? Was she confusing him with someone else? His grip
lessened. She seemed to notice this because she continued cursing him.
"Why are you hurting me?" her voice was broken "You were my friend. Friends don't hurt each other" She had to stop from lack of air,
so the Dragon let his grip loosened a little bit more. He was getting confused. There was something about her that made him doubt.
Ulaidh´s voice increased in his mind.
Kill her. She is nothing to you. End her life.
He tightened his grip, but the girl managed to lock eyes with him, and this time he paid attention to her eyes. They were so green and
beautiful. They were begging him to do the right thing, to let her live. He tried to suppress those feelings. They didn't belong to a
mercenary. They belonged to someone that was capable of feeling. He was supposed to be emotionless.
You are emotionless. Kill her. You want her blood, so have it.
He ignored Ulaidh´s voice and put all his attention on the green orbs that were boring into his soul. They had a shine in them that drawn
him. He could she in her eyes her desire to live. He didn't remember ever seen such dreamy, hopeful, innocent eyes in all his life. He
brought her down and put her gently on the ground. He caressed her neck, and softly kissed the marks he had left on it. He felt her shiver
when his lips touched her skin. He locked eyes with her again, and she gently put her hand on his cheek. The moment was broken when
he felt Ulaidh try to gain control over him, but he fought her for all he was worth. She did something to him that brought him to his knees
down in pain. His eyes became redder, but the girl was instantly by his said, holding him. He could feel her fear through her gentleness
and was more grateful to her. He had tried to kill her, and she fear him so much, but she was by his side, helping him. He had to fight his
instincts and lust for blood.
"You promised not to lose control, remember Van?"
Who was Van? He could not find the answers inside of him, so he looked at the girl. She knew him. He could trust her.
"Who am I?" he asked her. His voice was low and full of pain and confusion. She gave him a weird look, but it disappeared and one of
understanding appeared on her eyes.
"You are Van Fanel, heir of the Fanelian kingdom, which was destroyed by Zaibach. You want to get revenge for what Dornkirk, leader
of Zaibach, did to you. You are helping me safe Gaea from destruction, and we are here because we are trying to find the Heart of the
Dragon. But over all, you are my friend. You hide behind a mask of coldness, but I know you are kind deep down. Van, you are a
draconian and a human. You are whatever you want to be."
Whatever he wanted to be
He could be whatever he wanted to be, and all he wanted was to break free from Ulaidh´s grasp and remember who he used to be. He
wanted to be friends with this girl.
"And who are you?"
"I am Hitomi Kansaki, and you promised me you wouldn't lose control"
The Dragon's eyes slowly turned its normal brown color, and Hitomi felt relieve wash over her. He was Van again. He had returned to
her again. Everything would be alright.
"Hitomi" The remains of Ulaidh´s spell broke, and he brought Hitomi into his arms.
"Thank you" he whispered into her ears.
"I didn't do anything I didn't told you I would do"
He just hold her closer, and Hitomi giggled. The aura of the place didn't feel as evil as it had. Van felt a strong aura come and he pulled
Hitomi behind him. Ulaidh appeared right before them, but she didn't seem as strong as she had been.
"Well, I guess Boris chose the right people to use the Heart of the Dragon" interesting, her voice wasn't as cold as it used to be.
"You know Boris?" Hitomi asked her.
"Yes, we were once very close friends, before the gods decided to give us another use. He was sent to help mortals, and I was sent to
protect this place. I enjoy it. Evil and me get along, just like it used to do with you, Fanel. Something has changed you. When you find out
what it is, be kind enough to tell me"
Van didn't trust her. It wasn't normal for her to be trying to kill them and then talking to them normally.
"What do you want?" Van told her rudely. Hitomi elbowed him, and he glared at her.
"You don't trust me, good. I am evil, after all, but if Dornkirk gets the Heart of the Dragon before you, he will control us all. I, for one,
don't feel like bowing to a mortal. I just had to make sure you were the chosen ones" she looked like she had really enjoyed torturing
them "No one had ever survived my little games"
"It was only a test?" Hitomi asked her. That was not fair.
"It was. You are allowed one question"
Van was quick to ask "Where is the Heart of the Dragon?"
For the first time, Ulaidh´s look wasn't one of superiority.
"I don't know that, but I can tell you where you have to go next. The Valley of Truth is your next stop. That is all I know. Now, get out
of my territory before I change my mind" and she disappeared like she had never been there, her evil laugh ringing on their ears. Van and
Hitomi looked at each other and continued their way. As much as Van tried, Hitomi just wouldn't look at him. He had ruined it. She
would never allow him to be close to her again. he wondered what he had done while he had lost control."Van?"
"Yes?"
Do you remember what you did when you were...?
"No, did I hurt you badly?" His voice was full of worry and regret.
"No, it's just that... never mind" something caught her eye "Van, you are bleeding again" Van's shirt was sooked with blood. She sigh and
a tiny smile appeared on her face. Without hurry she started to heal him again. Everything would be alright as long as they faced it
together.
The pink light that had started to glow not so long ago became stronger. It was starting to illuminate its surroundings. Ruins were starting
to come out. Van and Hitomi were getting closer to the Heart. Atlantis was coming to life again.
uff, finished it. Long, long chapter, very hard to finish it. Didn't know how to end it, so I hope its fine. It was initially going to
be one chapter, but it would have been way to long. Did you like it? I didn't do the horrible thing I was going to do because
the chapter was already too long, but it will be in the next. Poor van and Hitomi, they were getting along and because of
Ulaidh Hitomi can't trust Van anymore. Poor Van, he sure is going to suffer. Well, review please, I want at least 10 reviews
if you want to see next chapter, jajajajajajaja (laughs evilly) ok, better go. Love you guys.