Sorry for the lack of updates. I've decided to finish this, even though I'm taking a break from anything Phantom for a while. Don't ask, long story.

I hope this is at least somewhat funny, but to the people who do think it's good...thanks. And to the people who have read thus far, thanks!

BTW, during the commercials part I had to put in the Tony Little Geico commercial because I think it's funniest commercial I've ever seen. And also if you don't know who the Burger King King is, then search him in google under images. He scares the living hell out of me!

Part Five

"Welcome back to the show." Jerry said after the rather long commercial break.

"Oh my God, Erik! Of course I'll marry you." Christine finally said.

"Good…she unfroze." Erik said.

"Does she do that often?" Jerry asked.

"Every day." Erik replied.

"Interesting. Well let's have the audience ask their questions then."

One person raised their hand to ask a question, "This is a question for that guy over there…the one with the hair." She said pointing to Raoul.

Raoul replied, "I have hair!"

"Yeah you…why are you so stupid?" She asked and the crowd laughed.

"I'm not stupid…you're stupid."

"Good comeback." She replied.

"Yo don't mess wit me, I'll go ghetto on yo ass." Raoul said. Erik slapped his head with his palm.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Erik muttered.

"Yeah I have a question for the masked guy." Another girl said, "Screw Christine, you should hook up with me." The crowd cheered.

Erik smiled but shook his head, "Sorry, but I love her."

He pointed to Christine who had that weird look again. Erik sighed, "Son of a…"

He took of his shoe and hit her over the head. This time it seemed to work because she woke up from her trance…or whatever it was she was in.

Jerry walked over to another person in the crowd who had their hand raised. But they were interrupted by Christine.

"Owwww." She said after ten seconds.

Jerry commented, "Talk about a delayed reaction."

"I have a question for the woman over there with the daughter who slept with her father. Why the hell would you let that happen?"

"Well, obviously I didn't know it was going on." Madame Giry said with an attitude.

The feisty woman from the audience jumped up, "I know you're not giving me an attitude…"

"What if I am? What are you going to do about it?" Madame Giry asked.

The woman from the audience started to head down the stairs to the stage. Madame Giry got up to meet her halfway but the security guards held both women back.

"Bring it, bitch!" The woman yelled.

"Come on then…" Madame Giry said suggesting she walk to the stage but obviously the woman couldn't because of the security guards.

"Why don't you come here?" The woman yelled.

"I'd rather not." Madame Giry yelled and the crowd booed. Both women sat down and Jerry walked over to another audience member.

"My question is for the guy with the floppy hair…" The woman from the audience pointed at Raoul. "Him."

"Me!" Raoul exclaimed happily.

"Yes you. How can you come out here and say that you're a gangsta? A butterfly is more gangster than you."

"Word up." Raoul said.

The audience laughed and the woman replied, "You're agreeing with me?"

"Yeah…"

"Yous a dumbass." She replied.

"Whatever! Whatever. I do what I want." Raoul started yelling. He then flipped his luxurious hair back and the two Raoul phangirls swooned.

"I have a question for the masked angel guy." A man said but was interrupted by the heavenly choir of angels. "Do you like scented candles?"

"What?" Erik asked with a stern look on his face. He was starting to get into a foul mood.

"According to Homer Simpson you're the gayest super villain ever and you love scented candles."

"How about I get one of those candles and stick them up your ass?" Erik replied.

"I bet you'd like that." The man said. This infuriated Erik. He shot up from his chair, with his punjab lasso in hand, and ran towards the man who was in the front row. The guards were not able to get to Erik on time.

Erik began to strangle the audience member to death. The security ran to Erik and pulled him off the now passed out man.

"Oh snap." Raoul said.

"And you need to shut up!" Erik yelled at Raoul.

"What'd I do?" Raoul asked.

"You're annoying the hell out of me." Erik said.

"Fine." Raoul said and looked hurt. The audience felt bad for Raoul.

"Awwwwww."

Erik rolled his eyes and sat down. Steve pulled up a chair next to him so he wouldn't do anything like that again.

Meanwhile other security guards pulled the strangled man out of the room. Jerry decided to ask, "Anyone else want to ask Erik a question?"

Everyone who had their hand up immediately brought them down. Jerry laughed and then asked, "Any other questions for our other guests?"

Most of the hands went back up. Jerry walked over to an old lady who yelled, "I came here for my Jerry beads!"

The crowd cheered and the old lady pulled up her shirt. Erik screamed in horror along with Christine. Raoul…well, you really don't want to know.

The woman got her Jerry beads and the crowd chanted, "Go on the pole…Go on the pole…Go on the pole!"

The grandma did what the audience asked and started dancing on the pole. Most of the audience looked disturbed or were laughing.

After a minute of that Jerry walked up to one final person. "I'm probably going to regret this, but to the weird masked guy…"

Erik's eyes narrowed at the man. "Don't think I won't kill you…"

"I'm gonna ask my question anyway…" The man paused and then added, "…How does it feel to know you slept with your daughter?"

Erik didn't hesitate…he shot right up when the man finished the sentence. Steve got up this time and caught Erik before he went into the audience.

"I mean, dude…that's pretty sick, man." The guy commented more.

Erik broke free from Steve's grip but was stopped by another security guard. In his frustration Erik turned back around and punched Raoul.

Christine cried, "What was that for?"

"I had to hit someone." Erik stated. He then picked up his chair and threw it at the guy. Erik actually had very good aim because the chair hit the man right on the head.

"Ok…that's enough!" Jerry yelled. "After the show you are going to jail, this is too much."

The crowd booed at Jerry. "Hey, he nearly killed two people. What do you want me to do?"

Raoul got back up from the ground but Erik punched him again.

"Erik, stop it." Christine said.

"Sorry." Erik replied.

"Awww…its ok my little fluffy bunny." Christine said and nuzzled her nose against his.

The crowd roared with laughter. They started to chant, "Fluffy bunny!"

"Awww…I think that's cute." Madame Giry said.

"This coming from the woman whose nickname is Annie-wannie snuggle fannie." Jerry laughed and the crowd did the same.

"Ok, we'll be back after the commercial break for my final thoughts." Jerry said. The crowd cheered and the camera zoomed in on Raoul who was unconscious on the floor.

Commercials:

Commercial one: A commercial comes on featuring the Burger King King. God that guy is scary. Apparently the Burger King King likes to wake up in people's beds. Remember to wake up with the King.

Commercial two: We are shown Tony Little and another woman talking about an exercise machine while people in the background were using theirs.

Woman: "Tony, most people want to get into better shape…They just don't have the time."

Tony: "Well Stacy, what if I told you with just three 20 minute workouts, only one hour a week; you can increase your energy levels, strengthen your heart, reduce your stress, and shape all the muscles of your body all with one quality machine. Would you be interested?"

Woman (Stacy): "Yes I would!"

Tony: "Well Stacy, I have good news!"

Stacy: "Tell me more!"

Tony: "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Yeah baby! You can do iiiiiiiiit!"

Geico: 15 minutes can save you 15 or more on your car insurance." (A/N: Sorry, I LOVE this commercial!)

Commercial three: "Having problems with bullies at school? The Love Muffins can help! We are a professional team of mafia members who will protect your ass. Sign up today! Call 1-800- SUCK MY MUFFIN, do it now!"

End of Commercials

Announcer: "Do you have an insanely confusing or difficult problem with your friends and family? If so you can be apart of the Jerry Springer show!"

Jerry's music played as the cameras came back to him. He was sitting in his chair and thanked the guests for coming to the show.

"What can I say about the show today? It seems so random and had no point to it. But we should remember that in order to win the love of your life you can't lie to them. Tell them you're human and not the angel of music sent by their dead father who actually turns out to be alive the whole time. Tell your loved ones the truth. If you're sleeping around on someone it would be best to tell them rather than wait and have things get out of control."

Jerry paused and then continued, "And make sure you know the person you sleep with, because if you don't they may turn out to be your biological father. Speaking of fathers, if you are one then you should try your best to be in your daughter's life. Or they might wind up with an obsessed man in a mask who claims to be their angel of music. If you get kidnapped by the Tellatubbies and Barney, you should fight for your life to get out of their hands and back home with your daughter."

Jerry turned around to the guests and saw Raoul on the floor, "Oh and if you're French, you're probably not a gangster. Until next time, take care of yourselves and each other."

The crowd cheered as Jerry's music blasted throughout the area. Jerry walked up on stage and shook everyone's hand. Meanwhile on the screen they showed Erik walking with Steve.

"So, you're the angel of music?" Steve asked.

"No I'm not really an angel." Erik answered.

"No kidding." Steve commented.

Suddenly a man dressed in white with wings and a halo appeared from the side. "I am the angel of music…"

Erik punched the man in the stomach and threw him to the ground. Steve backed away slowly. Erik walked away and the camera faded out on the unconscious 'angel'.

And they all lived happily ever after, The End.