Hello! Another chapter! I had problems updating this, so that's why I hadn;t post it. Well, this chapter is definitly one that

you can't miss. Van and Hitomi are getting closer, but they are also getting close to the end of their task. Well, not really.

Anyway, hope you enjoy it, and review, review, review.

The pain of loving you

Trust me

I know the world is black and cruel

I know that when you look at me you see all my sins

I know you have no reasons to believe in me

But I also know you. And I'm begging you…

Give me just one chance to prove to you that…

I'm worthy of your trust.

Just one chance, that's all I ask.

I ask you nothing, but for you to trust me.

"Hitomi, jump."

She heard Van's yell. She saw his hand raised towards her. She looked behind her and saw that dreadful man getting closer to her, but she could not, for all her life, jump. She was terrified of heights; she didn't have the courage to jump. A thousand images of what could happen to her if Van failed to catch her flashed in her mind. She could break a leg, an arm, her head, and god knows what else. She could die. She closed her eyes tightly. She did not feel like dying in that way or in any other way. But the though of dying smacked against the ground had to be the most horrible way to die. She opened one eye and saw the distance between the ground and where she stood. It was just too much. She would never be able to make it without getting hurt.

"Hitomi, what are you waiting for?"

She could hear the desperation in his voice; Dilandu was getting closer to him, followed by his boys. If she didn't jump know, Van was sure to be caught. She took a deep breath, gathered all her courage, and prepared to jump, but at the last minute she backed down.

"I…" her voice cracked "I can't jump!"

"Don't do this now, Hitomi. You can't stay here!"

"Leave without me"

"Don't be stupid. I can't leave without you, I swore to protect you." His voice had turned angry. Hitomi knew she was acting childish, but she couldn't help it. She had always been scared of heights, it was her one fear. She could act brave if an army came towards her, but tell her to climb to the top of the tower and she would simply deny doing it. She couldn't jump off of this building into the hands of someone that she wasn't sure would catch her.

'He is always there for you, he has never failed you. Why would he now?'

Hitomi bit her lower lip. Why was her mind or consciousness, or whatever it was, that talked to her always right? Why couldn't she jump when her life depended on it? Why the hell was she thinking about stupid questions when her life and Van's depended on her jumping?

"Please, go without me." She begged him. She wouldn't put his life in danger because of her, just because she was too afraid to save her own life. She wouldn't let him waste his.

"I already told you I'm not going without you, just jump."

His eyes were pleading her to jump. They were pleading her to do as he asked, but she couldn't do it, and she turned her eyes from him. She couldn't look at him when she had already decided to die. She smiled bitterly. How many times had she told him that she didn't want to die?

"Why are you scared of dying?"

"I'm not scared of dying. I just don't want to."

How many times had she been angry at him for not wanting to live? How many times had she scowled him for wishing death? How many times had she told him that life was the most important thing they had? And now, now she simply couldn't save her own life.

'He is there. He will catch you. He will never let you fall. Just jump.'

'I can't!'

How many times had she tried to make him wish for life? Now that he did, she couldn't do one simply act to safe hers. She had failed him.

Flashback

"Have you ever enjoyed a sunset?" Van said no with his head.

"As your friend, I can't let you not enjoy a sunset. They're beautiful. You'll like it." Hitomi said eagerly. He looked at her weirdly.

"How do you know I'll like it? I don't even know what I like."

She laughed. He was like a little boy. Everything was new to him. He was just starting to live.

"I know everything, and what I don't know, I find out. I'll help you find what you like." "I don't need to know what I like. I don't need you or anyone else. I never have"

She knew what he was trying to do. She had done it plenty of times; He was scared of depending on someone else. He didn't want to owe anything to anyone, ever. He didn't want her in his life, but she wanted to be a part of it, and she was not going to let him pull her away.

"I don't care. I'll be here, even if you don't want me to be."

End Flashback

Tears started to form in her eyes. Why the hell couldn't she jump! She had promised to be there for him, always and forever, no matter what, and now she wouldn't be able to fulfill that one small promise. She didn't have the courage to save herself. She didn't deserve to save Gaea.

"Hitomi, do you trust me?"

His voice came floating to her, bringing her back from her thoughts. With one hand, she freed her eyes of tears.

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

Hitomi looked at him puzzled. What was the point of that question? It would certainly lead them nowhere.

"If, you trust me, jump"

She observed him. He had his arms stretched out. He had stopped the horse so that she would be able to jump. Dilandu and the others were minutes away, watching them, but he didn't seem to mind. He was only looking at, and waiting, for her. She bit her lip harder and looked into his eyes. She was surprised at what she found there. In all the time she'd know him, he had never been hopeful. Now, in those brown orbs that captivated her so much, for the first time ever, a glimpse of hope stood out among everything else. There was fear, anger, confusion, but hope was above all of these, a reminder of how much he had changed, for her...

Do you trust me?

The answer was very simple, yes or no, but to her, it was the hardest of questions for her. She had once told herself that she would never be able to trust a mercenary. She would never be able to trust someone that enjoyed killing. She would never be able to trust him, the Dragon, Van…

He wasn't the Dragon to her. He wasn't a mercenary in her eyes. He was Van, only Van, her friend. After all they had been through, all that had happened between them, could she…could she allow herself to trust him? He had tried to kidnap her, had been an asshole to her, and had treated her like shit innumerable times. He had even tried to kill her once. On the other hand, he had always saved her when she was in danger. He accepted her for who she was and not for whom she pretended to be. He was always there when she needed him. He was her protector, her friend, her savior. He was the only one that truly knew her…

"Do you trust me?" he whispered to her again. She was not able to hear the words, but by the way his lips moved and his eyes shined, there was no mistake about what he had said. Did she trust him, could she trust him?

"Yes."

Without another thought, she jumped. She could feel the cold air hitting her as she fell. She could hear the anguish in the yells around her. The fire was destroying what was left of the village. Dilandu and company were seconds from catching them. A thousand reasons to why she shouldn't have jumped came to her mind, but she didn't care. She trusted herself to the abyss, waiting for Van to catch her. It seemed like ages to her, and for a moment, she thought she would never reach the end, that she would fall forever. She closed her eyes. She had thrown herself blindly, waiting for Van to catch her…and he did.

He took her into his strong arms and cradled her in front of him. He ordered the horse to gallop, and they went as far away from the village, from Dilandu, death, and disaster, as fast as they could. Hitomi smiled as she saw everything become little. She relaxed against Van. She was with him. She was safe. Hitomi sighed and let sleep over take her.

Somehow, impossibly, we are here. And I trust you…

Allen smiled to himself as he saw Millerna rushing through the injured. She had a white coat on and had some medicines in her hands. She went from one patient to another. She was in total control of the situation. When she had first told him her idea, he hadn't been too sure about it. He chuckled lightly. He was glad he had gone along with her. She was perfect at taking care of people. She looked his way and smiled, but Allen noticed that the shine did not reach her eyes. They were dull. The shine that had differenced them from all others was gone. A part of her had died with Dryden. He tried to look cheerful when she approached him.

"Hey, mind going for a walk, or are you too busy?" he asked her.

"Well, I am busy, but I guess I have a few seconds to talk with the King, though it's a great honor, the one I'm giving you."

She was joking with him, which had to be a good sign.

"Follow me" He linked arms with her and lead her to a fountain.

"So, are you alright now?" He asked carefully. She didn't answer for a moment. Her eyes seemed to be looking beyond him, but she forced herself to bring her attention back to him.

"I'm not alright," She said sincerely "but I'm doing better. When I'm helping people it makes me feel closer to Dryden, and it keeps my head busy." Allen nodded. The air around them seemed to have tension, so he decided to make it lighter.

"Who would have thought the spoiled princess would be such a great doctor?"

"Hey, I'm not that spoiled. Besides, I told you I had studied medicine. My parents forced me, remember?"

"How could I forget? You whined about it for ages. Seems like they did you a favor, huh?"

"Maybe they were right that one time."

"And when they married you to Dryden"

Allen cursed himself. He hadn't meant to say that. Millerna's face had fallen.

"Yes, they were right in that one too..." Millerna tried to suppress the tears that were threatening to form in her eyes.

"Sometimes I wish I had never met him. When the pain is greater than me, I wish I had never fallen in love with him. But then I think of all the good moments we had, and I can't help but feel grateful that he entered my life and granted me his love. I just miss him so much."

She could no longer hold back her tears, and she let them fall freely.

"Why did he have to die?"

Allen hugged her tightly. It was so unfair. War was always unfair. He waited until she composed herself.

"And how are you doing?" her voice, too, was careful. It was not wise to ask him just that now-a-days, but she was Millerna, his best friend, and she could ask him whatever she wanted.

"I…"

How could he explain how he was? He definitely wasn't ok. The war was exhausting and depressing. As much as they tried, it seemed all they did was in vain. More forces were coming, but between keeping Kansaki and Asturia out of Zaibach's hands, he had enough to do. He had even sent Gadess to help Kansaki, and he truly needed him back. But he had promised Hitomi to keep her kingdom safe. He had already told her people what she was doing; leaving a lot of parts out, of course, but they knew why she wasn't with them. They knew the big sacrifice she was doing for them; their queen was risking her life for them, and they adored her for that. Still, Allen felt a pain greater than anything invade him every time he thought of her. He just loved her so much, and she was alone with that idiot, in god knows what dangers. If she died, he would die with her. He just hoped Van kept his promise of protecting her. If he hadn't, Allen would make sure he paid with his life.

'What if she falls for him?'

Allen shook the thought away. It was impossible. Hitomi would never fall for a mercenary like the Dragon, or Van, or whatever his name was. Even though Hitomi didn't love him, he was sure that, with time, she would end up truly loving him with all her might. It was the reasonable thing to think, a great king and a gentle queen had to be together. There was no reason to feel insecure because of a king without kingdom. He was sure that Hitomi and he would make a lovely couple. They just had to marry, and they would marry, no matter what. Allen ignored the pain he felt when he thought of Hitomi with another, the aching that drove him crazy every time her face came into his mind. There was no reason to fear anything. Hitomi would end up loving him just as much as he loved her.

"I'm holding up."

"Hitomi?"

Van looked at her with pain in his eyes. She had been crying since they had stopped to rest. She was against a tree, curled up, and with her hands covering her face. She was hiding what she felt from him, shutting him out, and he didn't know how to get to her. He didn't know what to do with her. He couldn't understand the tears that were falling from her eyes.

"Tell me why you're crying."

She cried harder, and Van inwardly let out a groan. Why the hell didn't she tell him what was wrong with her? He got tired of waiting for her to tell him what was wrong and kneeled besides her. He took her hands with his and forced her to look at him.

"Tell me what's wrong." He told her firmly. She didn't tell him immediately, she waited until her sobs calmed down, and her tears stopped falling. She waited until she composed herself, and even then, she didn't look at him. She would never be able to look at him again after what had happened.

"I…I didn't want to jump."

"Why?"

"Because I was scared of jumping."

Van was stunned. Scared of jumping? That was bullshit. She had risked their lives because she had been scared of jumping? He truly felt like yelling at her, saying all sorts of things, but decided against it. She was already in a difficult mood.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you scared of jumping?"

She went silent again, and Van felt his nerves rise. She could be so difficult when she felt like it.

"I asked you a question."

"And I'm thinking about an answer, you idiot." She snapped at him. Van blinked, taken by surprise, and waited for her to explain herself.

"I've always been scared of heights"

"Why?"

"Just because."

"No one is scared of anything just because."

"Well, I am, so now, leave me alone."

She turned her face from him, so she wasn't able to see the hurt that appeared in his eyes.

"I thought you trusted me."

He said it so quietly that Hitomi almost missed it, but she wasn't able to miss the hurt that accompanied the words. She felt guilty about having caused him pain.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

A silence stretched between them, and just when Van was about to give up, Hitomi spoke.

"It's…When I was young, I used to climb to the top tower. The look from there was so beautiful! Do you know how my mom died?"

"No"

"Everyone thinks she died of sickness, in her bed. I thought so too, at first, but the truth was very different. Her body was torturing her. The sickness in it was devouring her spirit, and she had already been told that there was no cure for what she had. She would die slowly and painfully, and she didn't want that. She didn't want to be trapped inside her body, waiting for death. My father had stopped looking after the kingdom because he was always by her side. An air of defeat and sadness could be felt in every part of the castle. No matter how much I tried to hide from it, it always seemed to find me. It was in every room, every corner, every hall…then, one night, she was gone. I knew her time wasn't up yet, but my father told me she had died on her bed, and I believed him. It was not till later that I found out what had happened. He told me one day, without previous warning, without a word to make it easier…Your mother died, he said, she jumped from the tower."

Hitomi's voice cracked and Van was by her side, comforting her as much as he could.

"She let go, Van, and when we were back there, and you ordered me to jump, I just remembered. Ever since her death I haven't climbed a tower or been in the roof of any place. I didn't want to jump, but I didn't want to die, and then, for a moment, I thought dying was better than jumping"

Van didn't say anything for a moment. He rocked her back and forth, allowing her new tears to fall and soak his shirt. Not for the first time, he thought of how cruel the world was, and how haunting the past could be. It had made him a mercenary, and it had made her hide behind a mask of happiness.

"Are you unhappy, Hitomi?"

"Sometimes, like everyone else. I have my moments."

He looked at her quizzically. She laughed, and the sound of her laugh settled his nerves. She looked prettier when she laughed and smiled.

"I know what you are thinking. Poor girl that can't get over her mother's death."

"That's not what I was thinking"

"Then what is it?"

"Just about how you sometimes smile because you are used to it and not because you feel it. Hitomi, you are the happiest person I know, but you suffer as much as I do, and I just don't understand how you can keep smiling."

To prove his point, he saw her lips go up in a gentle smile. He looked at her eyes and saw that the smile reached them.

"The world needs people to smile for the ones that can't. It needs people to be strong for the ones that are weak." Hitomi locked eyes with him, "Thank you for not letting me die. You are always there when I'm in danger, when I need you, when I'm low, and well, you are always there." More quietly, as if afraid someone else was listening to her, she said "I was going to let go Van."

"Don't worry, I'll never let you let go."

"And I though I was the one that was going to save you from the depressed moods, and the wanting to die thing, and all the miseries of life."

Her smile widen as she saw the sun come out.

"Well, come on, you lazy, it's a broad new day, and we still have to find the Valley of Truth because, really, we are very far from finding it, and a whole world is waiting for us to save it."

She went towards the horse and rode it. She lent a hand towards Van. Her eyes shone brightly, with honesty. It's green trapped Van in them.

"And, Van, don't ever think that I don't trust you because I do. Got it?"

Van simply took her hand and rode behind her.

"Whatever."

And, as they rode together towards the dangers that were waiting for them patiently, Van thought of just how lucky he was to be stuck on this hell like task with a stupid girl with annoyingly high spirits.

'You did save me, Hitomi…'

Oh! how beautiful! Anyway, since I have writen not so many dark chapters, next one will be dark, so prepare yourselves for

it. Nect chapter will be posted before thursday, but I'm not giving any promises because someone is going to fix my

computer. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter, and review, review, review. I want you all to review. Ok, it's just late, and

I'm tired so don't listen to me, but you better revie, review, review...