Greetings one and all to the second to last chapter of James's DIARY!
"Shut up!"
D-I-A-R-Y!
"I'm not listening!"
Well, I was thinking of bringing in another guest to do the disclaimer with us but I couldn't figure out who
"How about Vixy?"
How about James does it and then MAYBE we will see Vixy in the disclaimer for our final chapter.
"What do the fans say about your blackmail?"
Good question! Well after they read the fic they can give me that suggestion. I said I was incorporating anymore, but what the hey? In the disclaimer only though!
"Very well, in hopes that I see my beloved Vixy Miss Chibi Kaiyaska does not own Star Fox ™ or anything similar to that. She does not own many things like sanity for instance."
(Chapter VII)
"WHO HAS HELL CALLED? Andrew the idiot is…Andrew you dumbass is that you!"
"It's me, Fox. Yeah, I wanted to ask you one question."
Wolf stared at his speakerphone. He rubbed his ears gently to make sure he wasn't crazy. How did Fox have his number? He turned onto visual screen to confirm that it was Fox talking to him. How did the Star Fox team know the private number that only the Star Wolf and a few top-notch dark mechanics knew about? And what did they teary-eyed annoying vulpine want to ask him? He did not want to deal with this shit. He dealt with enough when Andrew was on the team and Pigma was on as well. But he was also very bored and needed to be entertained for the hour while Leon was finishing upgrading the Wolfens. And Panther was tending to a crushed arm that he had received recently.
"First my questions Fox. One- how in hell did you know this number. Two- what the hell pissed you off to tears. Three- why aren't you dead yet?"
Fox looked at Wolf and said, "How did you know that someone was going to kill my mother?"
"How do you know--?"
"This is my father's diary…"
"Your dad had a diary?"
"And one of the last entries mentioned that you came over to the house and tried to warn us. How did you know?"
"I worked for Andross back then asshead. He told me he was after your dad and that morning when I woke up I went to your house to talk to Vixy but when I saw your dad I knew what was going to happen. Believe me I pissed to know that he got Vixy instead of James. But I will have you know that it was I who performed the finishing blow on James!" Wolf grinned, all proud of himself.
'Oh great,' thought Fox 'I try to figure out what is going on with my mother's death and my dad tells me not to hate Wolf and yet he kills you father!'
Noises in the background on Wolf's side came closer to the door and Panther entered in. His arm was in a sling and he had bandages all over his shoulder. He had obviously done some fighting. He mentioned something to Wolf who nodded in response. Wolf also said something to Panther and the word 'Vixy' was distinguishable.
"Gotta go (comment censored cause I don't wanna change the rating). I hope you die soon."
With that, Wolf disconnected the line. Fox was left staring at a blank screen with a body that had totalled less than eight hours of sleep for an entire week. Wandering off to bed at eleven in the morning, he collapsed onto his bed and slept for two hours. By the time he woke up: Katt was at the ship in Falco's room, Slippy had seven injuries, Peppy was looking through photo-books, Bill was helping himself to more food, and Krystal was trying to put out a fire Slippy had caused. Fox was hungry.
He walked down the main hall and ate dry cereal in the main hall. Krystal, needless to say, did not appreciate Fox eating food on a nice rug. Fox therefore had to eat his food while running from his psychotic, machete-wielding girlfriend.
"AHHH! Krystal, I only want some ceeeeereal! Not to be murdered at like…is it the afternoon already?"
"Yes it is and we are back on course for Corneria. NOW EAT YOUR FOOD IN THE KITCHEN!"
"I would if you would stop trying to kill me maybe I could!"
The chase went on for a few minutes. Fox's cereal went everywhere from the floors in which he ran across, on his mouth and even inside of it (on rare occasions). After Krystal noticed that the cereal was going on the floor anyways, she gave up and began cleaning it up. She grumbled on occasion and muttered the words "castration" and "mutilate" a few times. From his dim-witted experience of acting stupidly, Fox concluded that he was in for a very painful night. And not the good kind of pain that we won't mention here.
Falco sifted through James's diary and looked over carefully at the past entries. He noticed that Fox had book marked what to be read next and that they only had a few more pages to go of the diary. Glancing at it, and without actually reading it, he noted that it was the final entry. But Falco already knew that. Everyone knew. Especially Fox.
Also to note that Krystal was the only one intelligent enough to realise that they were headed towards Corneria.
By the time evening rolled around, Slippy had acquired five more injuries and Peppy had indigestion. Fox was going to acquire injuries. Everyone was sitting in the atrium having some Chinese food that they picked up on Katina. They would arrive on planet Corneria in approximately two and a half hours. But all was well on the ship, or at least normal for their standards. Katt was trying to steal Falco's food, while he tried to toss lo mien down her shirt. Slippy was trying to eat with chopsticks but accidentally stabbed himself and thus had more wounds. Peppy muttered incoherently about how loud the music was. Bill was happily increasing the volume on the stereo because he liked his music loud and to irritate Peppy. Fox was thinking about the best way to start a food fight and not have Krystal kill him. Krystal was snuggled up against Fox and was plotting to harm him if he did anything stupid, like say, oh…start a food fight.
"Bill! For the last time! Turn that music down!"
"I can't…we can terrorize the pirates and plunder their souls…hear…remember I am the haunting of the desert planet…oh, what? Turn it up? Ok! I am the lone dog travelling the skyyyyyyy…"
"I swear! You young people nowadays," Peppy muttered, "When James and I were young we didn't disrespect our elders!"
This caused the rest of the crew to laugh uncontrollably, Fox with a slight discomfort
"Are you crazy? Did you read the entries Peppy? Fox's dad gave Pepper a hard time" chimed Falco
"He encouraged, Fox, Falco, and I to cause problems at school and praised us for it!" added Bill
"My dad always told me that James was always in trouble with his superiors for some neurotic nonsense" confirmed Slippy
"He told me how to start the best…food fights!" exclaimed Fox as a piece of sesame chicken landed right on Falco's head.
Everything that had been bought for eating was now a valid weapon for tossing, smearing, or hurling at another person. Sharp pointy objects were frowned upon but apparently not illegal, since that was the choice of weapon for Krystal. Peppy angrily tossed some fried rice all over Bill, who in response tried to eat it off himself like a doggie. Falco tried to throw some baby corn at Fox but it landed…on Krystal.
The ship stopped moving. Everyone stopped throwing. Birds stopped chirping, light stopped being a wave and particle, and drug dealers had rational thought. Falco slowly tried to edge away.
"RUN FALCO! Run as fast as your legs may carry you," advised Fox, "I'll try and…yeah if I hold her back. Can I have your CD player?"
"MEEEEERCY! HAVE MEEERCY DEMON FROM ANOTHER PLAAAAANET …literally! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
While Krystal tried to murder Falco, Katt tried to stop her and Fox picked up the diary. All of his life he never waned to admit his father was dead because they had never seen the corpse. It couldn't be retrieved. Now, reading this diary brought back all of the memories. If he read the last entry then that was it- James's last entry; James's last day; James's death. Taking a deep breath, he opened to the final entry and began to read out loud. Somehow, everyone heard this.
Location: Great FoxMemento mori- remember, you are mortal.
Wow, this is so weird. Andross has made an attack on Gen. Pepper's headquarters. I will avenge you Vixy. Peppy, Pigma, and I are all travelling towards Venom to fight Andross. I guess I should say I know that this will be my final mission. I know that Pigma will betray us but it is too late.
I like butterscotch cookies. I learned that this morning
I didn't take the state of the line Arwing. I'm leaving that one for Fox. I also added some secret hyper boosters to Peppy's so that he may escape. I'm going on a suicide mission. Kamikaze. Kamikaze, by the way, is a Japanese word
I like sushi.
We'll be arriving in Venom's atmosphere soon. That's when we'll leave the Great Fox and have R.O.B lead it towards Titania. We'll go on Arwing to Andross's base. Hopefully, he'll die along with it. And I hope that Pigma is destroyed as well. Peppy is anxious for us to arrive. Pigma is calm. I'm scared to death. I'm afraid that I'll fail and that I'll just die, not having avenged anyone. I'm afraid that Peppy will die and never be able to tell what happened. I'm afraid that Andross will win.
I'm afraid my muffins are burnt. So sad. Rest in pieces my chocolate chip muffins.
I wish I could fully enjoy a last meal. Pigma knows that I know. He also knows I'm afraid. He also knows that Peppy does not know. I know that Peppy does not know. Peppy does not know what Pigma will do. Pigma knows all. I know all. Peppy doesn't know all.
I know how to make some good ramen noodles though.
I have so many questions unanswered. I want to know so much. I want to understand so much. I have written down many of my questions as the years passed by. But what are the answers to the questions? Who would ever take the time to read them all and answer them all? Who actually cares?
Who knows how to work the laundry machine? I don't.
Fox, remember, do not question the authority of someone who can make good cookies. Then the cookies stop being baked. Don't listen Peppy. I never did. Hate Andross with a passion. It'll do you good later on in life. Marshmallows burn very easily. Coffee beans do not do well in the dryer. People like it when you flush. I have never used calculus in my entire life as being a pilot. Don't bother learning it. Don't travel the world in your old age because you will be too old to remember it. When in doubt, start a food fight. Cheesy fur is only funny when it's Gen. Pepper's. Walls don't have ears but they do have some form of an audio receptor.
And most importantly: NEVER EVER START FIREWORKS IN YOUR BASEMENT!
The journey to Venom is almost over. I'm putting a recorder in my Arwing. The other end of the recorder will be hidden somewhere for many years. Or at least I hope so. I'm going to record my final moments to the world. The recorder is placed so you can hear me and anyone who pages my Arwing. It'll feel weird talking to myself for a while, but I'll get used to it. I haven't hidden the other end yet, but I'll think of a hiding spot soon. I just hope I remember to write it down somewhere where people will find it. I don't want people to think I was an idiot flying in to defeat Andross, hoping to come back in a blaze of glory. Just the idiot part is fine enough for me.
How sweet to be an idiot! You know Fox, you must watch Monty Python™ and the Flying Circus.
We've landed at our destination point and the others are headed for the Arwings.
Under where my Arwing stands is a slit in the ground. Under the tile.
Fox looked at his companions as they rushed towards where Fox's Arwing was. They used the machines in the docking bay to pick up the Arwing; these machines were normally used to hold onto the Arwing while someone made repairs underneath. Underneath where the Arwing once stood were many centimetres of dust and burnt charcoal. Slippy handed Fox a broom and dust pan, and Fox swept until the slit was indeed revealed. He gripped onto the metal tile and lifted it up. The hole that it had covered was about one metre wide and one metre deep. Inside the hole were several things. The first thing that Fox extracted was a small, leather bound box. Inside of it was James's and Vixy's wedding picture. It was in a silver frame that had leaves and vines adorning it. The second thing was a small black box with a tape inside. It needed to be re-winded. The final object that was pulled out was a muffin. It was burnt, stale, and many years old.
Everyone went upstairs as Fox began to re-wind the tape.
"We have arrived on planet Corneria, Fox." Announced R.O.B through the pager.
"Thanks, R.O.B," he responded, "Dock the ship and then do what you please"
"Affirmative."
Suddenly, Falco's eyes lit up. He had an idea. This is just as bad as James or Fox having an idea.
"Hey Fox, let's let everyone hear the recording. After all, he said he wanted everyone to think good of him, didn't he? It would be a nice memento."
"I don't know, Falco, you'd think Fox would want to hear it before it gets put on air?" questioned Katt
"Look, let's do this in the morning! It's eleven at night and we should be asleep!" retorted Peppy.
But of course, no listens to Peppy after hearing James's bits of advice. But within a few minutes everyone was fast asleep.
Fox woke up on the couch with Krystal sleeping next to him. Falco was spread out on the rug and Katt was also next to him. Bill was in the comfy recliner and snoozing. Peppy was curled up in a fetal position, dreaming about the days when he was young. Slippy was sleeping on the other couch with a pillow on his stomach. Carefully getting off the couch without disturbing Krystal, Fox grabbed a bucket of ice cold water. I think its safe to assume what he did next. And what Krystal and the others did to him.
They went to Pepper's headquarters and ate his breakfast. Before Pepper could ask what was going on, Fox pushed the play button.
End Ch. 7
Wow, I am soooooooo sorry that took so long to write. I have a job and I work most weekends so I can't post the story or write it. But school's over, yay! When I leave for college maybe it'll be easier.
"this is it"
Yeah, so, my questions to the readers
Should Vixy make an appearance?
Did you like the story
Bad guy bad guy bad guy
"I hate washing clothes. Laundry is evil."
The next chapter is the recording of James. It is the final chapter. No sequels to this specific story. No. None.
"Cheesecake."