Yey, another chapter. Each time we get closer to the end. Anyway, this is more like an info chapter, and I retake some of the things that were said in chapter 8, which I must admit I had forgotten, but one of you thankfully remind me, I can never thank you enough. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. I'm sure you will like the next one more. Review please, and I promise to update next chapter sooner.

The pain of loving you

Decisions

So here she was, risking her life for the world again, going into a blue light that she had no idea as to where it would take her, and trying to find the answers to questions that, maybe, didn't have any. Her hand went towards her necklace and she tried very hard not to look nervous.

"Scared?"

She laughed. Her hand left her necklace and reached for his hand.

"With you, I forget what fear is."

He nodded, playing indifference, but she saw the way his eyes brightened and knew better. He cared for her. Maybe just as friends, but that was something. Hitomi didn't, couldn't, ask for more. She took a deep breath and walked into the blue light, with him.

She felt the magic of the Door around her the second she stepped in. It was strong and ancient and magnificent. It made her feel small and weak. She felt a force pulling her away from Van, and she fought against it, trying desperately to keep by his side. It didn't work. Whatever had pulled her from him was stronger than both of them. She watched helplessly as her body was pulled away from his. She wasn't even able to utter a world. As fast as it had come, it disappeared. In the blink of an eye, Hitomi found herself away from the light and from him, and in a place she had never even imagined before.

She stood up slowly, mesmerized by what was in front of her. It was obvious it was a forgotten city. It seemed like no one had lived in it for years. Around her, ruins stood. She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what this place must have looked like ages ago. She grabbed her necklace, and it started to get warm. She felt her power around her, and to her surprise, images of the city appeared in her mind as clear as if she was seeing them then.

It was not a city, but more like an open castle .It had no roof, and the sun shone above it. Big columns formed halls. There were no streets. People walked among them, chatting cheerfully between them. It was as if everyone knew everyone. No one was a stranger. To Hitomi's surprise, some people flied too. They had angel's wings, just like Van's. She knew, right then, that this was Atlantis. This was the draconian's home. She kept walking until the path ended and a lake surrounded a little island. On the island, two big men stood besides two draconians. They had to be noble. There was no doubt of it. Hitomi had never seen someone look more like royalty than the two people that were right there, in the middle of the city, as if protecting it. Their white wings were open elegantly. Their eyes went from one place to the other, looking for any problem. Behind them, a white guymelef stood. She had never seen such a strange looking guymelef. She let out a small giggle. It seemed like she hadn't seen much in her life. Suddenly, the woman glanced at her, and her eyes widened. Hitomi's eyes met her purple ones and she gasped. She was looking at her! How was it possible? Then, everything got blurry.

Van looked at the ruins that were everything around him. He guessed a long time ago this had been a wonderful place. Now though, it was nothing more than shattered rocks. He kept walking, noticing with a curious gaze the symbols that were in every single rock. There were statues, too, but he didn't know what they were. He walked and walked and walked until, finally, he couldn't walk any more. A groan escaped his lips. Of course, the city had to be ruined, but water had to be in it. A pool of water circled a small island. He bent to touch the water. He frowned. It wasn't right, for the water to be there. It should have dried. He was about to leave when he felt it. A pulse of magic in the water, urging him to get in. Van's body obediently went in. It was as if he had lost control of his body. He felt drawn towards the island. He forgot what he had come here for. He forgot that he had a world to save, a girl who had all her hopes on him. He only wanted to find out what was calling him. This place had a strange effect on him. It felt like he had once being in here, a long time ago. The water reached a little above his waist. It was cold, and Van was shivering a little. He reached the island and got out of the water. His eyes fixed on what was in front of him. A woman, more like a woman-ghost, was right there, in front of him. But that was not what surprised him. By now, he was used to seeing strange things. It was who the woman was that scared him. He didn't blink. He couldn't talk. His body wouldn't turn and run. All he could do was stay where he was and wait.

The woman looked at him, her eyes big and soft.

"Van."

His throat felt dry. His heart hurt. He didn't want to believe what he was seeing. He didn't want to suffer more. It couldn't be possible, what was in front of him.

"You are not real."

"I'm not alive, but right know I'm real. The magic of Atlantis allows me to be here, to answer some of your questions."

"Some?"

She laughed, and the sound of her laugh made him remember a time when everything had been perfect.

"You have to figure out the answers to the others."

Van let out a cry of disbelief. He couldn't believe what was happening. He didn't know if he wanted it to be real.

"This is impossible."

"Everything is possible here."

"This is a trick of my mind. You can't be here."

"I am, Van. I've been waiting years to meet you here again."

"Why?"

"Well, it is my job to help you with your task."

"…"

"Feel the magic around you, Van. Can't you? Please try."

Van closed his eyes, and concentrated on his surroundings. The magic was strong, but it hid itself, so that if one didn't concentrate on it, it was impossible to find.

"I do feel it."

"Then believe."

"I can't."

"You believe in her."

Hitomi. "How do you know about her?"

She smiled softly. "You are my son. And I've been watching over you. I told you I would always be there for you."

"But…"

"I am only allowed here a small amount of time, so do you want me to help you or not?"

Van smiled a little. He remembered her as an impatient woman. He knew what was happening was not possible, but he didn't want her to go away. For a long time, he had wished he could see her again, just once. Now he had his chance.

"Yes, mother."

Hitomi woke up. Her eyes opened slowly, trying to adjust to the darkness around her. She had been lying on cold stone, and her whole body was cold. She hugged herself, trying to warm her frozen body. She got up, and looked around her. For a moment, she was lost, not knowing where she was. Then, her mind started to remember.

The Door to Atlantis.

Van.

The blue light.

The vision.

The woman.

She stretched her arms and tried to think. What should she do? Where should she go? All around her, darkness stood. She didn't know what to do. Her hand went to her necklace again. She was a seer. She had to trust herself. She held her necklace on top of her head and concentrated on it. Every single thought she had was directed to it.

The city was full of light. Draconians were flying above her. Hitomi realized they were forming a circle, but she didn't know why. Then, she saw the cause for their strange behavior. The priests she had seen in the Celtic Temple were going towards them. She saw the Head Priest. Behind him, two priests were carrying a coffer. The woman and the man she had seen before came down. The priests bowed.

"What are you doing here?"

"We come to ask you for a favor."

The woman, who Hitomi thought was the queen, frowned.

"What favor?"

"As you well know, we have used the Heart of the Dragon to save Gaea, but by doing that, we have lost all our strength. Our days will be over soon. But…we can't leave this world without securing the Heart. We have seen in our prophecies that, if this Heart ever reaches a man named Isaac, Gaea will be forever lost. The Heart is the strongest magic in all of Gaea. It was made to protect Gaea, but in the wrong hands, it could be devastating. Its powers will destroy whoever uses it and it's not meant to. We only ask for you to take care of one part of the Heart."

"Is that what happened to you?"

"Excuse me, milady?"

"Are you dying because you were not meant to use it?"

"We are. We're the keepers of the Heart. We had to use it in order to save Gaea. We knew it would kill us. We are not sorry. We chose the right path."

"What makes you think we will not use the Heart for our own purposes?"

"The Draconians already possess enough power. We know your race does not seek for more. Besides, it would kill you. The Draconian that is meant to use it has not yet been born."

"You said we would only take care of a part of the Heart. Where will the other part be with?"

"It is a tiny part. It will be with the seekers. In the future, the right seeker will be born. She, along with the draconian, will use the Heart when necessary."

"Fine, we will take care of the Heart. You can go in peace."

"We have no way to show our gratitude."

"There's no use for it. We are doing it for Gaea."

Hitomi's necklace kept glowing after the vision. Hitomi looked at it. She had had a suspicious that her necklace was part of the Heart since she had been in the Celtic Temple. Now, her suspicious had been confirmed. All her life, a part of the strongest magical object had laid on her hands. It must have passed from generation to generation, until it had reached her. But would she be able to handle its power? She moved her hand over the symbols in one of the columns. Suddenly, they started to glow a pail blue. Like a chain, every single symbol on the columns started to shine. Hitomi noticed that there were only certain columns that had started to glow. She followed them.

"What is Atlantis?"

"Atlantis used to be the home of the Draconians. They ruled here, in peace. For a long time, they watched over Gaea. But long time ago, it was almost destroyed. The motives for this are forever lost. All we know is that the priests from the Celtic Temple used the Heart to save the world. The power they had to use, though, left them weak and on the verge of death. They came here, to Atlantis, to ask for our help. They wanted us to take care of part of the Heart. We agreed, but a century after that, humans started to fear us. They hunted our race. The draconians of that time tried to fight back. We were more powerful than them, but they were more. We lost. My family, the royal family, had to hide. They hid the city, locking it up. We created the Door to Atlantis. Only a draconian would be able to come through it."

"Hitomi is not a draconian."

"You wanted her to come with you, so she was able to do so."

"What is the Heart of the Dragon?"

"No one truly knows what it is. It was created before any living thing. All we know is that its power is great, and it comes from the purest feelings. It has always been in Gaea. It will always be in Gaea."

A frown appeared on his face. "That doesn't really tell me much."

"That is all I know."

Van stopped to think for a second. A lot of things were happening at once, and he wasn't certain if they were truly happening or if they had been created by the magic. He didn't know much now-a-days.

"What if Dornkirk used it? He doesn't have pure feelings."

"If one has enough power, the Heart can be manipulated, but it is very difficult, and no one has been able to achieve it. Even the Celts, who used it for good, died."

"Can Dornkirk use it?"

"Not alone. He needs someone to help him control its powers."

"Who does he need?"

She hesitated. Her eyes filled with sadness, and Van's heart clenched in his chest.

"He needs Hitomi Kansaki."

Suddenly, everything seemed clear to Van. He had not really cared at first for the reasons Dornkirk had had to kidnap Hitomi. After learning the truth, he had forgotten about that. Now, he couldn't believe he had. Boris had told them that he would need Hitomi. It was obvious now that he needed her more that he thought.

"Does he…?" He took a deep sigh. "Does he know he needs her?"

"Yes."

The answer was clear. It left no doubts. Dornkirk needed Hitomi to use the power of the Heart. All this time, he had been wrong. He had thought Dornkirk was after him for betraying him. He was wrong. Since the beginning, it had all been around her. The world revolved around her. Schezar was fighting for her. Kansaki was holding up for her. Dilandu had been after her. Dornkirk had always only wanted her. He…he had changed because of her. He was going through this task because of her. He had felt because of her. He lived because of her.

"If we use the Heart to save Gaea, will Hitomi, will I, will we die?"

"No one can tell, but it is strong possibility."

"How strong?"

"…"

"How strong?"

"You have about 5 percent possibilities of surviving."

So they were going to die after all. Or at least one of them was going to die. There was no way both of them could make it through this. Van slowly lowered himself to the ground. He sat on the ground and put his hands on his head. He had always known they could die. He wasn't stupid. But he had never even imagined that their possibilities of surviving were so dim. He knew the world wouldn't care if he died, but if Hitomi died…What was the use of living if she was dead? What good were his lungs if he couldn't breathe her scent? Why would he want eyes if he couldn't see her? He knew Hitomi wouldn't stay with him. She didn't love him the way he did her. Still, knowing she was alive was enough for him. He asked for nothing but her happiness and safety. If she died, he'd have no purpose anymore. He had sworn to protect her with his life. He knew he couldn't protect her from the Heart, from her destiny. Because he knew, without doubt, that she would rather choose death than see Gaea fall into Dornkirk's hands. What was worse was that he wouldn't love her half as much if she wasn't that way.

"Can we win this was without using the Heart?"

"No, and besides, if you don't use it, Dornkirk will get his hands on it, and then everything will be lost."

"I see."

Unfair. So unfair. He wanted to live and now he had to die for others. He closed his eyes, a hurt expression appearing on his face. He should have known it. Sacrifices had to be made. He had to do what was correct. Maybe some months ago he would have been able to turn back and never look back. Now, the guilt of doing that would not be tolerable. He couldn't choose the easy way out, not anymore.

"I am the chosen draconian, aren't I?"

"Yes."

"Did you always know?"

"I had my suspicious. I wasn't sure if it was Folken or you."

"Show me where the Heart of the Dragon is."

It was his destiny. It was his fate. He had to do this for the world, for his family, for his kingdom, for himself, and for Hitomi. It was time to stop running.

The symbols took her to what looked like a temple. Two statues of winged humans were placed on each side of the door. They looked like fallen angles, with their hands clasped together and their eyes closed. Hitomi carefully climb the steps that lead to the door. She put a hand on it. It was made of some king of metal, but she didn't know which one. It was cold and it shined in a thousand different colors. It was as if it held the rainbow in it. She pushed the door. Nothing happened at first, but then it cracked and slowly opened. Hitomi walked in with uncertainty.

'What could possibly go wrong?'

'I don't know, a lot of things. After all I've been through with Van, anything is possible.'

'You will be ok.'

'He is not here.'

'Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you.'

'I could die, and I would never see Van again, and he would never know how I feel.'

'As if you were ever going to tell him.'

'…'

'Coward.'

Yes, she was a coward. She would just die if Van ever found out what she felt for him. She wouldn't be able to stand the look of pity he was sure to give her. The rejection would be incredibly painful. And Hitomi did not want to suffer. She had enough with having to save Gaea and having to marry a man she would never be able to love. That, assuming she lived through the war, of course. A broken heart was definitely not something she wanted on her list of 'to do' things. She looked around the place she was in. The symbols that were everywhere outside were not here. Instead, the walls were filled with paintings of people flying. She caught sight of one that was in the middle. She went towards it and gasped. Even though they were crabbed in stone, she still recognized them. The priests from one of her visions were there. They were holding hands, and in the middle, what looked like a light spread wide into the skies. She had no doubt that she was looking at the picture of the moment where they had used the Heart. It was the moment in which they had given their lives for the ones of others. Her hand went towards the picture. The moment it made contact with it, a power went through her, and the room she was in disappeared.

It was majestic. He had never seen something that looked so powerful and was so still and quiet, as if waiting for something, or maybe someone. It stood in front of him, as big as any other guymelef, but it looked different. The moment Van had seen it, something inside of him has stirred. He didn't know how, but he knew that the guymelef would respond to his command, and only his. He walked towards the white guymelef. It was beautiful. The guymelef seemed to be waiting for him, to be calling him. It was obvious that no one had used it in a long time. The city hadn't been inhabited for so long and yet the guymelef seemed to be in perfect conditions. Van drew a hand towards it, but stopped midway and instead turned towards his mother.

"What does this have to do with the Heart of the Dragon?"

"Look at it. Pay attention. What do you see?"

Van did as he was told. His eyes looked everywhere until he finally found something odd on it.

"There's a pink gem in it. It is right where…where the heart of a human would be."

"Of course, that is part of the Heart of the Dragon. Van, only the king of Atlantis can pilot this guymelef."

"I'm not king of Atlantis."

"You would have been, if it hadn't been destroyed. Instead, you are King of Fanelia, which is just as important."

"I don't…know what to say."

"Then don't say anything, just listen." She looked at Van for a split second, and then continued. "This guymelef is named Escaflowne. It has been shining for some months now, but it only does it in special occasions. I do not know which ones, but I know it has reacted because of you. It is yours, Van. No one else but you can have it."

"Why me?"

In all this months, he had learned valuable things about himself. He had finally opened up to the world. He had allowed himself to feel again, and the pain he felt for all the things he had lost had slightly diminish. He still suffered because of it, but now it was different. His pain didn't burn him from the inside out. It was tolerable. Still, he didn't understand why he should be allowed to have such a powerful guymelef. And it had to be very powerful if it had the Heart they had been looking for.

"You were meant to have it since before you and I were born. The Celts foresaw it. The draconians waited a long time for it, but you were born after Atlantis was destroyed. Only my family carried the secret, and we kept it with us. Even when Dornkirk went for us and destroyed the beautiful Fanelia, I didn't tell him. At least, not all I knew."

"I still don't understand why it is me."

"You were not meant to have the life you lead. You were meant to have a peaceful life with your family. When Dornkirk destroyed our kingdom, everyone's fate changed. You became a mercenary, and the mistress never met you. The favors were with him and his terrible Zaibach."

She stopped, but Van looked at her urgently. He wanted to know where this story led.

"Your lives were not the only ones that were affected. The lives of everyone in Gaea changed. Mistrust between the magical and unmagical parts began. Everyone blamed each other for what had happened to Fanelia. The danger of war was always present. But then, a miracle happened. The same man that had put Gaea in danger suddenly gave it hope without knowing it. He sent you for the mistress, and that is when you met her. You didn't meet her in the circumstances that you should have, and you didn't start with the right foot, but you solved your problems. You gave her your heart, and you would give your life for her. Just like it was meant to be."

"She doesn't love me."

"But you do love her, and that is what is important. Even after all you went through, you opened your heart to her, leaving you vulnerable, and you didn't care. She made you feel again. Isn't that enough?"

Van wanted to disagree. Of course it was not enough. He wanted her to love him as much as he loved her. He wanted to be the man off her dreams. He wanted to be the only one for her. But then…maybe it was for the best that she didn't love him, maybe…

No.

He wanted her love, but if he couldn't have that, he would somehow manage to settle with her friendship.

"Whatever."

"Van…"

He interrupted her. "How was I supposed to meet her?" His curiosity was at its best.

"I won't tell you. What could have been is not important. I will only tell you that you were meant to love her then, as you do know."

Van frowned, but didn't push the matter anymore. There were still a lot of questions he wanted to ask her.

"Where is the other part of the Heart?"

"You haven't guessed yet?"

And suddenly, he knew. The stone in Escaflowne was the same one that Hitomi had in her necklace. The teardrop was the Heart. It had always been with them.

"How do you use it?"

"No one knows. It is up to you to find out. The only thing that we know is that the mistress is the one meant to use it."

"Does that mean she will not die?"

Hope. He was feeling hope.

"No. She still has very high possibilities of dying, as you do."

His hopes crashed down once more.

"I have to leave. My time is up. Van, I will always love and take care of you. I'll be watching."

"Wait, I still have a lot of questions…"

"Trust in yourself Van. Trust in her. I believe in both of you."

And she was gone. And this time, Van knew it was forever. He would never see her again. He smiled. At least, now he knew that she would always be there for him, even if not physically. Then, his smile disappeared as he remembered her words. Hitomi and he could die. She was in danger, and he had no idea of how to save her. What was worse, he had lost so much time in stupid things, he had wasted so much time with her…He had always known they could die. He had never imagined that their possibilities of surviving could be so dim. God, why the hell had he wasted his time next to her?

She instantly knew that she was in one of her visions. She looked around herself, but there was nothing.

"I'm behind you."

The voice startled her, making her jump. She turned to find the same woman from her other vision. Her purple eyes were intently on her. Hitomi couldn't look away. She bowed. Someone that looked as great as her deserved all her respect. The woman let out a small smile.

"Don't bow, mistress. You are queen too. And we are only in a vision."

"I…mistress?"

"Yes, you are the mistress of the Heart. There's a power around you that doesn't let you hide."

"I'm no mistress. I'm queen of Kansaki, and I'm a seer, but nothing more."

"You are not only a seer. You are the seer. Long before you were born, in my time, some priests came and asked us to take care of the Heart of the Dragon. They also told us about you and your guardian. Trust me; you are the mistress of the Heart, the only one that is meant to use it."

"How is…how do you…no."

"Yes, you are. The Heart is only meant to be used by the right person. Anyone else who uses it will die."

"Then I can use it without dying?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. Its power is great, and part of the legend was lost. The priests died before telling us everything. You are meant to use it, but it is almost sure you will die in the process."

Hitomi's eyes widened and then fell to the ground. Of course she had known she could die in this task. She was even willing to, but she had never expected her possibilities to be so poor.

"What about Van?"

"Ah, yes, the guardian. He may also die. Actually, both of you will probably die."

"How can you be so…cruel about it?"

"I'm not cruel. I'm practical. Besides, I lived a long time and been dead even longer. It is the natural course of live. No one can live without dying."

"But…I don't want to die without…"

Van

"You are the mistress, and you will do the right thing."

"Is there any way to use the Heart without dying?"

"There is a way, I just don't know it."

Unfair. Everything was unfair, and yet…She knew she would end up giving her life for Gaea. It was just like her to do something so stupid.

"Some would say it is fair."

"How do you know I'm the chosen seer?"

"Is the guardian Van?"

"Yes."

"What does he guard?"

"You?"

"Me?"

"Of course, what else would a warrior guard but the queen and mistress?"

"How do you use the Heart?"

"No one knows."

"Then why are you here? Why am I having a vision of you?"

Hitomi was tired. Her patience was gone. She was in front of a woman that seemed to have no feelings, and the only thing she had told her was that she would die.

"You see me because you have questions only I can answer."

"Will you answer them?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Gaea's fate has already been changed. I don't want to alter it anymore."

"I understand." And she did. Gaea was already dying. They couldn't afford to change anything anymore. Hitomi grasped her head. Everything was spinning around her.

"What is happening?"

"You are going back. Mistress, don't lose the time you have left."

Hitomi opened her eyes. The light around her hurt her eyes, but she quickly adjusted. Her hand went to her necklace. Her thoughts went to Van. She had to find him. If she was meant to die, then she would spend her last days with the man she loved. She had to tell him. She wanted to feel his arms around her, his lips on her, his heart pulsing with her own. She wanted to tell him she loved him with all her heart, that there was no one more. That Allen was nothing but a friend. She needed to be by his side. She got up. This time, there would be no mistakes. She would find him and tell him all she felt. Hitomi smiled. She just couldn't wait.

Hope you liked it. Hitomi will finally tell all her feelings to Van, or at least that is what she says. We never know. So, I'll try to u update on the weekend, and review, review, review. I'm dying to know what you think.