Spock navigated the rocky path down to the pond. A clear resinous slime covered the surface of the water and everything three meters or lower in height. The scent was like nothing he'd ever experienced, although not noxious, just intensely alien. He walked along the pond and climbed a low hill along one edge, then mounted a staircase carved from burls up the trunk of a tree over six meters in diameter.

Spock sensed attention on himself and recognized Lt. Uhura sitting on a balcony opposite along with some of the officers from the Lexington. She nodded in greeting. The others looked away as if politely pretending to not see him there.

Kirk opened the door just on the hour, just as Spock approached. The living wood room was cheerily lit in a mix of green glow along the ceiling and warm orange along the floor.

"Come in, Commander." Kirk closed the dirt and basketweaving hatchway. "I assume no one is around right now given the cold."

"There are some officers gathered on the balcony of the housing on the other side of the pond."

"Oh." Kirk considered this. "Well."

Spock had worn a robe over his duty uniform. The field coats has been deemed offensive to the Jhuhjia due to looking like bark armor, but Spock had verified with one of their hosts that his white robe qualified as a cocoon and was acceptable. The room was warm, though, so he shed it and stood at parade rest while Kirk assembled his thoughts.

Kirk paced once, glanced at the door, then frowned. "I fully understand some topics are inappropriate to discuss with you except out of necessity and while this isn't exactly the necessity of a mission, I'm going to have to get into some uncomfortable topics here. Just to warn you."

"I understand, Captain."

Kirk inhaled, pushed his chest out. "It seems that everyone. And by that I mean everyone including Commodore Olson, believes you and I…" Kirk gestured between them with his finger. "You and I are. Let's say. Much closer than we actually are. You understand my meaning here?"

Spock nodded. "I estimate that I do."

"I don't know how that happened. And if I did anything that led to this I deeply apologize to you."

"Captain…"

"This is a gross violation of your privacy and certainly as an XO you deserve to be treated better—"

"Captain…"

Kirk looked up. His eyes held anger kept in check by his better nature. "Let me finish, please. This is important."

Spock bowed in acknowledgement.

Kirk said, "This kind of thing isn't easy to fix. There's no denial that will change anyone's mind. They say don't feed the beast for a very good reason. But I don't want you to feel—" Kirk stopped. Frowned. "Listen to me." He looked away at the green glow showing through decorative loops of straw near the ceiling. "This has rattled me a bit. I admit."

A professional demeanor settled over Kirk after some effort. "Starfleet is your home and you deserve for it to be welcoming and respectful to you. You sacrificed more than most to be here." Emotion was shaping Kirk's body to an unusual degree. "I know how important your privacy is to you, especially in these kinds of matters. And I apologize to you, Commander, on behalf of Starfleet. This should not be happening."

Kirk breathed in and out, looked expectantly at Spock. Waited.

"May I speak?" Spock asked.

Kirk grinned wryly. "Yes. Please. Sorry. Go ahead."

"You are doing more than is necessary right now, Captain. May I drop rank?"

Kirk crossed his arms, then uncrossed them. "Yes, my friend, you may. I'd be relieved to do so given the situation."

"I regret that you are experiencing such distress, Jim. I have been aware of the situation since minutes into the opening reception. And it is, as you state, well out of your and my control."

"Still." Kirk rubbed his forehead as if to fend off a headache. "I worry how this impacts you. I'm always out, catting around, as we say. And you're under me in rank, and therefore viewed unfairly just on that count."

"I truly do not expect you to take on so much responsibility for this. And this level of distress is unlike you. Your current state of agitation is more concerning to me than anything else at this time." Spock put force behind these words, as if rank had not been dropped and he were speaking officially.

Kirk breathed in and held it. There was a palpable gap where he worked out what to say. "I. It scared me. I'm going to be honest with you because we badly need to understand each other." He stared baldly at Spock. "I can't lose you. Neither personally nor professionally. And if anything would make you request a transfer… I thought that getting away from these insinuations… That might be the sort of action you might find logical for your own peace of mind."

Kirk stretched his shoulders back. Spock watched this, watched Kirk's fretful hands.

"I would not find that logical. This is a curious incident that is out of anyone's control. And you are Starfleet's finest captain."

Kirk graced him with a weak smile. "Thank you. Truly."

Kirk's gaze went inward. He looked over at the door again. "Who saw you come up here?"

"Too many people who already participate in a great deal of gossip."

Kirk combed his hair back with his fingers, let his hand drop. "Hell. You might as well come in and relax. It's fairly warm in here compared to everywhere else. And if you turn around now and leave, they'll start assuming that we're having a falling out or something."

Kirk took a seat on the bed and gestured at the moss-padded, hardened lichen structure that served as a chair.

Spock accepted the seat, steepled his hands in front of himself. He wished to appear relaxed but was not entirely successful.

"I am not adept at assuaging human emotions," Spock said. "But I would further ease your mind if I could."

Kirk put his hands down on the bed beside his thighs, seemingly to brace himself. "It's okay."

"I am loath to dispute that, Jim. But I am going to dispute that, if only based on your current pulse rate."

Kirk looked away. "Talking has helped immensely. But I dread the next 52 hours of this landing. I wish you didn't have to put up with any of it. You're a proud being who deserves privacy. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with what we're all down here to accomplish. This mission is too easy. That's the problem. Everyone gets ideas when they get bored."

Spock started to speak then considered his words longer. He could certainly take advantage of Kirk's apparent efforts to close the topic. But Kirk's worried brow and tense pose propelled Spock on.

"I regret the added strain caused by my reticence in communicating my understanding of the situation."

"The captain is always the last to know." Kirk sounded wistful.

"I should have done so at the first opportunity," Spock said.

"It's not your responsibility, Spock. I'm sure this is my fault. I'm the one viewed as willing to bed anyone."

"I have given you my assurances that I do not blame you, yet I still sense you are distressed." Spock said.

Kirk spoke gently, in an affectionate tone far outside any kind of professional norm. "I really didn't imagine you'd be okay with this."

"I was not displeased by this misunderstanding."

Kirk's distress vanished faster than Spock estimated possible. His gaze shifted smoothly from fretful to curious. "More than okay, apparently."

Spock fought a flush to his ears, spoke with equanimity. "You are a well regarded and sought after partner. It can hardly be offensive to be considered your current one."

"I. Didn't. Imagine. You'd. View it like that."

Spock dropped his gaze, adjusted his steepled fingers. "The acceptance implied by the widespread assumption about our relations impacted me to an unexpected degree."

"Spock." Kirk's brows lowered in concern. He reached out a hand for Spock's forearm. "You belong here, Spock. Is that what you mean?"

Spock nodded. "I am intellectually aware of that. And for a Vulcan, that should be the end of it. But it is apparently not the end of it for me. I must expend some effort at better understanding my reactions. I am clearly not fully in control of my own emotions."

Kirk retreated. Put his hands on his own thighs. "Do you want to be alone to do that?"

Spock shook his head. "Your company does not interfere with my logic."

Kirk's lips twitched. "I think I might be disappointed to hear that."

Spock's lifted his gaze, puzzled this. He raised a brow. "I see."

A slyer smile tried to overtake Kirk's expression. He pinched his bottom lip to suppress it, but it did not leave his eyes. This was a far healthier emotion for him to experience and Spock let it linger before speaking.

"I am pleased to see you have recovered," Spock said.

Kirk breathed slowly in and out. "I have. Now I'm trying to figure out how far this is going to go."

Outside there came the sounds of other moving about, singing and laughing. Then silence again.

Spock relaxed his hands into his lap. "Interesting."

"What's that?"

"I did not ask, nor did you offer your own reaction to others assuming we were much closer than we are. Aside from your concerns for me."

"It's true I didn't offer them. Because your comfort with me while you serve on the Enterprise was my primary concern."

Spock considered this. "That answer has certain implications."

Kirk drew his lips in, apparently subconsciously. He rubbed the back of his neck. "It certainly has certain implications if you are looking for them."

Spock listened to Kirk's heart beat. It had sped up again, but the sound had a different shape to it, round and whole rather than frantic.

"The implication is unexpected," Spock said. "I am rather different from your typical choice of partner, along most every metric."

"Yes. You are." Kirk studied Spock closely, appeared to want to say more. Instead he sat back. His eyes went over Spock's torso once before looking away.

Kirk pushed to his feet. He rested his fingertips on Spock's shoulder. "Maybe you should go."

Spock looked up and considered Kirk's expression. It remained unusually open.

Spock said, "May I enquire whether you are suggesting this for my sake or your own?"

"Maybe both of us."

Kirk's expression closed down after a brief battle of duty against need. Within Spock pride still simmered, and it was urging him to remain. Spock stood. It put him closer to Kirk, whose loose hand slid down to grace Spock's upper arm.

"I wish to remain." Spock pitched his voice lower, aware of the weakening effect that would have on Kirk. "But if you counsel otherwise knowing that, I will, of course, depart."

Kirk's heart rate increased yet more. His hand dropped down and away, but then both hands came up and took hold of Spock's arms just above the elbows.

Kirk said, "I don't think I can send you away twice." He swallowed hard. "If you are going to resist, I am going to give in. I'm nowhere near that strong."

Spock raised his hands to Kirk's elbows and took gentle hold in turn. They stared at each other. The energy of Kirk's emotions, his dynamic human spirit rallied just beyond Spock's touch. Intriguing as always, but more so now with Spock's new instincts given free rein to expand the meaning of it.

Kirk's hands gripped harder. "This might not work out."

"Nevertheless. I am curious."

A smile took over Kirk's face, sly but then equally abashed. "What are we doing here?"

"There are many human expressions to cover this situation."

Kirk glanced down almost shyly. "Getting to know you better."

"I also wish to better know myself."

Kirk's gaze came up solidly, studied everything about Spock's face. Kirk's attention, as always, could be captured by any concern for Spock himself.

Kirk tugged on Spock's arms, hesitated, then pulled them closer, adeptly interleaved the two of them into an embrace. Kirk's presence flowed around Spock, his heart thudded against Spock's breastbone.

"You don't know how many times I've longed to do this." Kirk's voice was shot through with an aching pain that contrasted starkly with his wildly heightened emotions.

Kirk's hands loosened as if preparing to let go. Spock estimated that he had not responded properly. He moved his own hands until one cupped a shoulder blade and another rested just at Kirk's waistband. Kirk re-embraced him in turn. Held there, breathing unevenly.

Experimentally, Spock tightened his arms marginally. Kirk's breathing paused, his head came to rest heavily on Spock's collar bone. Even as tension leaked from him as abject relief, Kirk's emotions tumbled rampant, piled upon one another, uncharacteristically left unchecked.

A deeply emotional voice came from just below Spock's ear. "You don't think you understand. I want too much from you. You have no idea."

"You are reaching conclusions with insufficient data."

Laughing made Kirk's torso pulse in intriguing ways. Spock tightened his arms more, enough that Kirk had to strain to breathe in.

Kirk's voice was now buried partly in Spock's uniform. "Great Bird that's nice. I just want to stay like this."

The figure in Spock's arms leaned harder against Spock's solidity. His respiration and pulse eased off to something closer to resting.

Posessiveness warmed Spock from his core outward, down his arms, along his spine, made some primal part of his brain light up. He pulled their bodies together tighter yet. Kirk struggled to catch his breathing up to his renewed rapid heart rate. The movement made his whole body seem part of his emotions.

With his other hand Spock took hold of the hair at the back of Kirk's head. He pulled Kirk away from his breast bone and captured his mouth with his own, swallowing Kirk's gasping for air, matching Kirk's aggressively working lips. The figure in his arms shivered, hands scrambled for better purchase. Surprise rattled through Kirk, then faded along with the trembling, was replaced by intense longing. He grappled with Spock's back, trying to pull them together tighter than Spock's already crushing embrace.

Kirk took over the kiss, worked his mouth over Spock's, twisted his head away to free himself to kiss his nose, his chin. Spock used the hold on Kirk's hair to separate them. Kirk's muscles had taken on a strange lethargic energy, as if softening to better mold to another.

They peered at each other. Kirk's lips were wet and parted. He was panting. His mind was working to catch up to events.

"Thee are mine." Spock said. "If thee will allow it."

Kirk's voice was low and wavering. "We have to figure this out. I usually lead. But I don't think I've been this alive in my life. I thought for a moment that you'd lost control."

"I am in perfect control. Given that it is appropriate for the situation, I am simply, logically, allowing Vulcan pride and possessiveness to dictate my actions."

Spock sounded just like his normal self and Kirk relaxed in his arms.

Kirk looked him up and down as much as possible in the position they were in. His eyes lowered, showing off darkened damp lashes. Spock steered their heads closer, touched his lips to the corner of one eye.

Kirk made a sound like a stifled sob, but the emotion was far from sadness. "What are you doing to me?" He asked without opening his eyes.

Spock kissed an eyebrow, the bridge of his nose. Kirk's emotions were firming up in his mind, evolving from a flaring of white heat to a low ember of rumbling lonely hunger. Spock continued ministering to Kirk's face, outlining the shape of Kirks' instincts with his mind, the tenuous balance between thrilling newness and heightened alert at being confined and easily overpowered.

"Shall I put you on the bed?" Spock asked, pushing intentionally on one side of the balance.

Kirk's midsection twitched in alarm. He tried to look Spock in the face, but couldn't move that far. Instead, he rested his forehead on Spock's breastbone. "Spock. We have to be compatible in this." He swallowed audibly. "This has to work. I need this to work out. We both do."

Kirk gasped as his knees were scooped up. His midsection tumbled harder in alarm but he disciplined it before it could reach his limbs, setting off another shiver. Spock placed him slowly and gently on the bed, pulled off his boots one at a time. Kirk rested up on his elbows to watch this. His alert gaze watched Spock remove his own boots and in one continuous motion climb onto the bed.

A marginal tension left Kirk's body. He exhaled and didn't breathe in again, simply studied Spock as though watching a rival for hints of strategy. "We need to talk."

Spock raised a brow, waited.

A cleansing breath escaped Kirk's chest. "That's better." He rested his hands on either side of Spock's uniform covered ribcage. "I'm usually the one leading."

Spock tilted his head. "Not in this case."

"No. Right. I see that. Believe me I see that." He looked Spock's face and ears over from below. "Great Bird you are beautiful when you're like this. You look predatory right now, you know that?"

"Are you stalling at this time?"

"I am stalling. Talk to me here."

"I wish to be with thee."

"Yes. I'd like to be too."

"I have no other mode but this one."

Kirk rested his head back and considered Spock's face in detail. "Ah." His body relaxed fully, as if exhausted. His hands explored Spock's chest through his uniform.

"Well, let's start with how far you want to take this," Kirk said.

"I am uncertain what context this question is in."

"Yeah. This is tough."

"I wish to possess you from this point on. As my own exclusively."

"Okay, that context." Kirk's lips worked into a pained smile. "Okay. I. I'd like that. Surprisingly enough. With you. We can be each other's. Only. We're already god-damn close. And I'd certainly love to have you there for close companionship. Except you can't ever be a distraction. But I think we can handle that. We've worked together long enough. It's just the usual discipline applied more stringently." His hands rubbed Spock's sides up and down. "Great Bird you are beautiful. I love getting to say that."

Spock bent forward again, took up Kirk's lips in a slow kiss. Kirk remained relaxed through it for a time, then he stiffened and pushed upward.

"That's really good. But we're still talking."

"The context you wish for an answer in is the physical one?"

Kirk studied Spock. "You need to dominate all of this; don't you?"

Spock nodded. Kirk relaxed again with the same sense of exhaustion. He breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.

Kirk closed his eyes, held them tightly closed. "I've not ever been that for someone." He shook his head and exhaled. "I have to figure out if I can do this." He put his hands on Spock again. "Oh Spock."

Regret was flowing out of Kirk. It seeped into Spock's overly receptive mind as a poison. He pulled back, confused, shifted to the side.

"Hey, hey." Kirk took hold of Spock around the middle and pulled him close so they lay side by side on the bed. "Oh, Spock. I can't hurt you like this." Kirk put a hand on the back of Spock's head and urged him to rest it on his chest. Spock struggling to regain his sense of self, resisted such a display of weakness. He shifted, put his head beside Kirk's on the pillow but did not relax. The poison had stripped everything away leaving only disoriented logic to pick up the pieces. Kirk's alarm at Spock's condition indicated Spock had lost track of the present to at least some degree.

A hand was on his cheek, an imploring expression was centimeters away. "Hey. Come on. Talk to me."

Concern had wiped out Kirk's emotions of regret. Spock blinked, found his center again with strident effort. He nodded.

"You back?"

Spock nodded again.

Kirk held him tighter. "I'm sorry. You were in some kind of zone apparently. A rather nice one." He stroked Spock's hair, grazed his ear with his thumb. "I'm not denying you. Or I don't want to deny you." He dropped his hand. "Ah hell."

Kirk's eyes moved over the ceiling. He sighed. "Are you all right if we sleep on this? Talk after the mission, even? I need time."

The heightened sense of Kirk and their shared emotions had abandoned Spock to a dull aching chill. He did not have a reply.

Kirk wriggled free to take up and pull flat the sticky cocoon material left in a hulking bundle beside the bed, tried to cover the two of them. "Your robe would probably be better. Want to get it?"

Spock pushed up and fetched his robe. He stood with it in his hands, contemplating his usual preference for being alone, how comforting that would be at this time.

Kirk sat up, held out his hands. His uniform still fell open across his torso, as if in tatters. "Come here. Don't go. Please don't go." Kirk's voice ached with the same raw pain Spock's spirit did. Kirk leaned far over toward Spock, hand still out. "Spock my friend. I'm sorry. Please. It's incredibly important that you stay if you can at all bear to."

Spock looked up, measured Kirk's expression. He returned to the bed, to a fervent embrace that dragged him down to lie beside Kirk. He allowed Kirk to cover both of them with his robe, allowed Kirk to pull him closer still and hook a knee behind his own.

Hands took up the sides of Spock's face, kissed him reverently. "Thank you. I promise we'll figure this out. Just give me a little bit of time. Please." Kirk kissed him on the eyebrow. "I'm sorry I interrupted that. You were wonderful. Astonishing. I haven't felt like that in a long time. I may have never felt like that, actually. But my pride got the better of me."

Spock nodded. "My pride dominated me as well."

"I'm glad it did. You okay now?"

"I am in need of meditation."

"You really can do that all right if you are here with me?"

"Yes."

Kirk relaxed into the pillow. The tree creaked overhead. The muffled sound of burrowing emanated from below them.

After a time Kirk snorted. "We're going to be blushing little brides tomorrow. That will fit the rumors nicely."