1"Like, does anyone know where, like, Firestar is?" Sandstorm asked the warriors in their den. "I mean, he's been, like, out all day and hasn't, like, y'know, come back."
"Sandstorm, I suggest you shut up, and maybe Firestar will think you're dead and come back," Brackenfur meowed sarcastically. "He could hear you jabbering from Fourtrees."
Completely unfazed, Sandstorm padded out of the den. She saw Graystripe going into Firestar's den and followed him. The two warriors gazed in mixed horror and joy as they saw Firestar's mural. "Hey! He put me in there!" Graystripe mewed excitedly, pointing with a claw. "And I have a machete! I'm a real tom!"
"Like, where am I?" Sandstorm asked. Graystripe studied the mural for a few seconds, then pointed.
"There. Tied up with vines and a vole in your mouth," he meowed. "See? It's undeniably you."
Sandstorm was heartbroken. She burst into valley girl tears. "I though he, like, liked me!" she wailed. "Y'know? And now, he's, like, drawing me, like, bound and gagged in a corner of the wall! WAAAAAAAH!" She ran out of the den. Graystripe sucked a claw thoughtfully, then took some more rabbit blood and doodled a caricature of himself on the wall.
"Graystripe was here," he murmured to himself as he scribbled the words under the picture. Then he followed Sandstorm.
"Sandstorm, don't cry. I'm sure Firestar loves you." He put his paw around her shoulders.
"No he doesn't. You saw what he drew. He's, like, putting me in a corner. He doesn't, like, love me. He, like, totally hates me!" Sandstorm cried.
Graystripe licked her ear, but unfortunately, his tongue piercing scraped away at the sensitive skin. Sandstorm shrieked in pain and fled the camp. Graystripe sighed happily. "She's probably going out to find Firestar and smother him with kisses...or her fur. Whichever comes first to her mind, I suppose."
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Firestar stumbled dizzily out of the cave in Sankerocks. He turned and waved goodbye to all his new adder girlfriends. "See you tomorrow, ladies," he mumbled. His ginger fur was disheveled.
"Who would've thought snakes were such great lovers," he murmured. "Man. I should thank Cinderpelt when I get back. I've never had so many girlfriends."
He walked straight into the sobbing Sandstorm. The crash knocked the excitement of the previous night right out of his head. He shook himself a few times. "Oh...Sandstorm. Hey," he muttered, starting to walk away. Sandstorm grabbed his tail as it flicked past her.
"I saw what you, like, drew about me," she spat. Firestar glanced down at her.
"Oh. Really? Whatever." He started to walk away again. Sandstorm sunk her claws in deeper. Firestar purred.
"You, like, like pain?" she mewed incredulously. Firestar nodded, his mascara-surrounded eyes closed in pleasure. "Ew! Like, get away from me!" She released his tail. Firestar walked on.
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Cinderpelt stopped at the first Twoleg nest she saw. She jumped up and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later, the Twoleg opened it. "Hey, want a cuddly little cat?" Cinderpelt asked. "Yours for the taking!"
"Sure. Come on in," the Twoleg replied. "I'll show you around." It led her up the stairs. "Let me help you with that suitcase, sweetie." The Twoleg opened the first door. "This is my room. Don't go in there without permission, okay?" Cinderpelt nodded.
"Okay."
"Over here is my kid's room," the Twoleg continued. "You may want to stay away from there." Twoleg and medicine cat went back downstairs. "The living room's here; you can go in there just down touch any furniture. In there's the bathroom, which is where I'll put your litter box. The kitchen is in here. Never." The Twoleg tapped Cinderpelt's nose. "Never. Go. In. There."
Cinderpelt shook her head. "No thanks," she meowed. "I think I'll settle for a house where I can actually walk two tail-lengths without breaking a rule."
"Suit yourself," the Twoleg replied. "My door's always open for you."
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Graystripe decided that Firestar wasn't coming back, so he jumped onto the Highrock, even though it was practically midnight. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" he yowled. Sleepy ThunderClan shapes padded out of the dens to sit around the Highrock. "Firestar is too emo to rule this Clan!" Graystripe said. "Therefore I, Graystripe, will take over as Graystar."
"Graystar. Graystar. Graystar," the drowsy Clan murmured, their tails drooping tiredly. Graystar nodded.
"So, I'm going to make a few changes. This will now be called PunkClan. Brackenfur, I will teach you the ways of being a punk and you shall be my beloved deputy. Cloudtail, you're a bit of a rebel. You'll be medicine cat in Cinderpelt's place."
"Woo-hoo!" Cloudtail whooped, leaping into the air. "Do I get a cool collar like you?"
"We'll find some more BloodClan cats, okay?" Graystar told him. "In fact, we'll all wear collars like this. Yeah...PunkClan cats wear collars." He looked at his new Clan. "Okay, go back to bed and don't forget this in the morning."
He waited until the whole of PunkClan except for Brackenfur and Cloudtail had gone back to their dens to sleep. "Okay, so you're my deputy and you're my medicine cat now. I'm going to talk more to you tomorrow. Go back to sleep." The two cats saluted and padded back to the warriors den.
Graystar headed back to his own den. He looked up at Firestar's mural. "I'll keep this up. It looks nice. Especially Sandstorm." He turned around three times in the soft moss and fell asleep.
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Firestar was too distracted and got lost on his way back to the Clan camp. He slipped and fell into the river, which carried him through RiverClan territory. By some miracle, the tom was spared death and managed to crawl out of the river and collapse on the ground beside it. He curled up and fell asleep.