1Cinderpelt approached the next Twoleg nest. She rang the doorbell a second time and waited. An elderly Twoleg greeted her. Cinderpelt choked on the thick scent of kittypets. She took one look at the many glittering, feline eyes that shone from every spot on the floor and promptly meowed, "Uh...sorry. Wrong house!" She turned and bolted away.

The next house she tried was just perfect. Cinderpelt felt the young Twoleg rub her fur gently, calling her a 'poor thing' and a 'little angel.' This was the place for her. She padded in and immediately plopped down on the sofa. Cinderpelt grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on to The Jerry Springer Show. The Twoleg brought her a bowl of ice cream. The former forest cat was in heaven.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Yo! Cats of PunkClan! C'mon over to the Chillin' Rock for a get-together!" Graystar meowed. The warriors of PunkClan poured out of their dens and sat around the Chillin' Rock.

"Yo Graystar!" Brackenfur shouted, "How's about we let our fellow warriors in on what's going down?"

"Second that, Brother!" Cloudtail called. Graystar nodded.

"Yeah, so we're all real sad about the death of Firestar and all, but this is a new beginning. A new, greater Clan is gonna rise from the ashes of the old. The Dawn of PunkClan is now!" The Clan roared in agreement.

"Brackenfur, my most trusted deputy! See to it that every cat gets a collar!"

Brackenfur nodded and started handing out collars. Fernpaw looked skeptically at her new collar. "Where did you get these, Brackenfur?" she asked.

"Oh, me and Graystar and Cloudtail all went out last night and hunted down some BloodClan warriors. We demanded their collars or we said we'd make Scourges out of them all. They whipped those suckers right off and ran."

Longtail looked at his collar as well before fastening it around his neck. "So, do we have to spike our hair as well?" he asked Graystar.

"Whatever punks you out the most, Longtail."

Longtail nodded and started to spike his pelt into a Mohawk with mud. Goldenflower padded over and helped him. When he was finished, he did the same for her.

Graystar nodded. PunkClan was growing well.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar awoke to someone gently mewing his name. He groaned and rolled over. "Ugh. I feel like a fish..." he muttered.

"Aww, don't worry, lovey, we'll have you dry in a jiffy!" the sweet voice continued. Firestar smiled drowsily.

"Are you my mother?" he asked.

"Nope. Name's Heavystep, RiverClan rogue!"

Firestar's eyes shot open. Heavystep was a large, muscular, male cat. His voice should not be so high. The ginger tom turned his head to see Heavystep standing over him. There was a flower tucked behind his ear.

"RiverClan...Rogue?" Firestar asked, "Why did you leave, or get kicked out?"

"They kicked my out 'cause I'm gay," Heavystep replied, "I swear, I had no idea I was until I noticed just how attractive Mudfur was." He sighed dreamily.

Firestar backed away slowly from Heavystep. He blinked a couple of times, then saw his reflection in the river. "Great!" he spat, "My mascara's running."

"Borrow some of mine," Heavystep offered. Firestar reluctantly took the tube and reapplied the makeup to his face. He sighed.

"Look, Heavystep, it's been real, but–"

"You know, you're even better-looking than Mudfur," Heavystep meowed, coming closer to Firestar, "Do you work out?"

"Look, Heavystep. I don't mind the fact that you're a homosexual cat, all right?" Firestar mewed, "But I'm straight. Okay? I'm not like you." He paused, then added, "Can I keep this?" He pointed to the mascara tube.

"Sure, I've got tons of the stuff." Heavystep sighed and gazed down at the river. "I just wish there was a cat out there for me. Someone strong and buff. A great lover. I wish you were like me."

"But, I'm not. You're gay. I'm straight. You're a sissy. I'm emo. There's a difference. It'd never work out." Firestar waved goodbye, then jumped into the river, the mascara tube clenched in his jaws.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Cinderpelt looked up from her ice cream to see her Twoleg owner standing over her. "I found these in your suitcase," the Twoleg growled, holding out a few herbs, "Who gave you these?"

"I found them," Cinderpelt replied calmly.

"You found them. My own cat is doing drugs!" The Twoleg started to cry. "I thought you had good morals! I thought you were above that! I guess I was wrong!"

"Drugs? Drugs? Who said anything about drugs? Those are healing herbs, you stupid Twoleg! Now let me watch Jerry."

The Twoleg stopped crying. "I opened up my home to you! I thought you were a good little kitty! But you brought illegal substances into my own home! I can't believe it! Back to the streets with you!" And they hurled her out the door.

"Hey! Gimme back my–" Cinderpelt was cut off by her suitcase smacking her upside the head as the Twoleg threw it out after her. "Th-thanks..." she mumbled dizzily and blacked out.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar stopped to reapply his mascara. "I wonder what's been going on in ThunderClan while I was away," he murmured. "Maybe Sandstorm decided to go for good." He inspected his reflection, curling his lip. "Life sucks. Especially if there's a Sandstorm involved. 'Like, Oh my StarClan!' " He raised his voice to imitate the annoying warrior's.

"Yeah. Like, Oh my StarClan. He's here," someone growled behind him. Firestar whipped around. It was Sandstorm. He saw a BloodClan collar around her neck and two smaller ones around her wrists. She was wearing mascara as well.

"Sandstorm?" Firestar meowed, "Holy crap! You look like me!"

"Yeah, yeah," Sandstorm scoffed, sitting a few tail-lengths away from him. "I was thinking: Why not be like Firestar? Maybe then I'd, li–, ahem, understand." She stopped herself before the word "like" could escape her mouth.

Firestar was stunned. "You'd do that for me?"

"Sure. Why not? And now I do understand. Bluestar, Runningwind, Brindleface, Redtail, Lionheart, Spottedleaf, Yellowfang, Silverstream, Willowpelt, and Swiftpaw all died way too soon. Life sucks. S-U-C-K-S."

Firestar blinked a few times, the whole scenario registering at last. He padded over to Sandstorm's side and put his paw over hers. The ginger tom dug his claws into the soft pad of her paw. Sandstorm purred happily as blood ran down to the ground. Firestar bit her ear. "Let's go back."