1Cinderpelt awoke to daylight shining on her face. She felt sick to her stomach. "Ugh," she groaned. "Ice cream was not meant for cats. I better go hunt and wash this taste out with some mouse." The dark gray she-cat limped away slowly, dragging her suitcase along behind her. "Maybe I should go back to ThunderClan. I'll find an apprentice and train them as fast as I can. Then I can retire with the elders and never have to clean Firestar up again."

She nodded. It was a good plan. Brightheart was going to have kits soon. She could train one of them. Cinderpelt started back to the forest with a hopeful heart.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Graystar awoke with a good feeling. ThunderClan was no more. There was only PunkClan. He jumped up on top of the Chillin' Rock and called the Clan together. There was something he had to tell them all.

"All right, so, I decided that since the other Clans around here think we're still ThunderClan, we have to move. We have to find a place where we'll be PunkClan forever!" There were yowls of agreement from the assembled warriors. " 'Kay. Brackenfur, most trusted deputy-o-mine, start packin'!"

"Brightheart is going to have kits soon, Graystar," Cloudtail meowed. "Can we wait for them to be born?"

"Come on, Cloudtail," Longtail mewed. "Would you rather the kits be born at our new home, or have to carry them all the way there?"

Cloudtail immediately decided to leave before Brightheart kitted. Graystar nodded. "All right. Let's go."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Firestar had never felt so close to Sandstorm before. The two of them clawed and bit each other all day. When they were hungry, they hunted together, Firestar holding prey down while Sandstorm tortured it. They licked their red claws happily in the shade.

"Sandstorm...I think I love you," Firestar whispered. "No other cat understands how I feel."

"I think I love you, too, Firestar," Sandstorm mewed, "I mean, you showed me how bad life is. I know how to rid myself of that stress now."

She hesitated, unsure if her next question would go against the code Firestar had told her, the Emo Code. "Firestar...do you want to have kits?"

Firestar grinned. "Are we going to eat them once their born, or use their organs for pagan MoonClan rituals, or abandon them in the wilderness and watch them die?" he asked. Sandstorm shrugged, brushing her newly-grown fur from her eyes.

"All right, but I want to keep two of them. We can do that stuff to the rest."

Firestar nodded and led Sandstorm into the dark cave beneath the Thunderpath where the ShadowClan warriors, Whitethroat and Littlecloud, had been sheltered. The two of them mated and Sandstorm scratched Firestar the whole time they did.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

A few moons passed. Graystar, unfortunately, led PunkClan to the forest outside a laboratory. Every one of the cats was caught and experimented on. They were then released back into the wild. Every cats' memory had been wiped. Graystar was Graystripe again. They wandered until they made it back to ThunderClan territory.

Firestar and Sandstorm had their kits, but only two were born. They could not conduct all the rituals and such that had been planned, since Firestar loved Sandstorm too much to go against her wishes. Discouraged, Firestar gave up being emo to raise his two new daughters, Leafkit and Squirrelkit. Sandstorm followed suit, and the four lived happily in their old camp until the rest of the Clan came back.

Cinderpelt finally managed to return to her old position as medicine cat. ThunderClan lived happily ever after.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

And what of Heavystep, the gay RiverClan cat? Firestar's words about how he would never find a mate if he was gay sunk in. He straightened himself out and returned to RiverClan. There he was the envy of all the she-cats.

Ze End!

A/N: Well, there you have it. Signs that I have indeed lost all my sanity.

Saya: I think they knew that already, Ruthie-sama. --

Ruthie-sama: Yeah, but this is solid proof here! No straight-thinking person would ever dream of writing something this...

Riversong: Off the wall?

Sunpaw: Disturbing? XP

Sora: Hilarious? XD

Ruthie-sama: E all of the above.