Yondaime: The Strength of a Nation
Chapter 4: A Man with Weaknesses
Part 4: Turning the Page
Arashi was beginning to wonder if he'd be the next person to have a nervous breakdown.
When he'd found out yesterday morning that she was missing, he'd had a fit. When they'd realized how much of her personal belongings were gone too, he'd come close to pulling his hair out. When they'd found her chuunin vest and forehead protector the next day, he'd wanted to cry.
And when he'd talked to those two ANBU who had let her run, thinking she was a cat...
Solemnly, Arashi began to think that soon, he'd either become numb to it all or go insane. He couldn't decide which option he feared more.
Reaching into the pile of outgoing paperwork from the previous day, he pulled out the most recent roster he had. Ink stained his hand as he examined his notes on the bottom of the page. His new team list hasn't even dried completely, and it was already out of date. Arashi grabbed a pen and released an exasperated sigh. His pen slowly and reluctantly crossed the surface of the paper, striking Mitarashi Anko's name from the Konoha roster. Orochimaru's student, it seemed, had refused to be anyone else's.
So now he needed to undo last week's restructuring of the teams. Arashi had seen Anko as a student without an instructor, and had debated about whether to send her into the ANBU or structure a team for her to work and grow with. Given what he'd learned about Anko and her social nature, Arashi had decided to take the time and make her a team. Now, he'd need to inform the elders and Jounin that he was taking that back. A nagging voice within his mind added that he'd probably forget to.
Add to that the fact that there were diplomats from theRock and Cloud downstairs, and Arashi had a lot on his mind. Arashi glanced over to their papers, lying on the far corner of his desk, and frowned. They were here on paper to discuss the location of next year's chuunin exams. Sarutobi had worked hard year after year to convince the 5 great shinobi villages to stage their chuunin exams together, and his dream of having the exams settle what wars had attempted to settle previously was close to coming true this time. He'd also convinced the others to have this joint exam in Konoha, though not without a bit of debate. Eventually, it was decided that Konoha was the safest place to gather the children of the great countries...it had the strongest defenders, and few would dare attempt to attack them.
It was possible that these diplomats were indeed here to debate that location; Arashi suspected an alterior motive. They were here to pick up information...to discover if the rumors they'd heard were true. Had the Sannin and the Third Hokage actually left the Leaf? If the Third didn't show himself to discuss the chuunin exams, they'd be fairly certain he was gone. And they could pick up the truth about the Sannin on the street easily.
Arashi didn't like the situation at all. Under the pretense of protecting their children's security, there was no doubt these diplomats would probe and question him about every detail of what had happened with the Sannin and the Third. A grim look crossed Arashi's face as he thought about it. He would rather give the chuunin exams over to another country than volunteer that info. But, wouldn't that be spitting on the Third's work? How would it sit with the elders?
Another thing was bothering Arashi, and his mind drifted toward the country's integrity. The arrival of diplomats in Konoha so soon after the mess confirmed Arashi's worst thoughts. Neither Rock nor Cloud Village was nearby, and yet word had traveled far enough in a week that they were already here asking questions. This was not the work of mere rumor. Arashi couldn't prove it yet, but he had to suspect there were spies for both Cloud and Rock in Fire Country...perhaps in Konoha itself.
Arashi sighed as he felt a headache build in his skull. This line of thought was going to kill him...
The Konoha Medical Center had been the center of much activity in the past few days. Jiraiya had been nursed back to health, and Tsunade...well...had lost hers. Today was much different. There was quiet throughout the hospital...as there was through much of Konoha itself the last few days.
On top of the center, with her feet dangling over its side, was a young woman. Most people would dispute that with her, but she still felt young. Her age matched Sarutobi, yet his experience and knowledge trumped hers by far. The woman sighed and lay her back on the roof of the building, looking up into the bright morning sky. If Sarutobi had not been so personally affected by everything that had gone on recently, it's possible things would have worked out differently. But such speculation was pointless.
Such was her greatest lesson learned in 45 years of living: don't keep thinking about what could have been. A part of her mind boldly retorted that she only maintained that philosophy because she could have been a good ninja. She ignored that claim as best she could.
Whether that's true or not, Utatane Koharu replied to her thoughts, I am serving a purpose now, and that is all I can ask for. When Sarutobi had surpassed the chuunin rank, leaving behind herself and Mitokado Homura and dissolving their team, she had lost her focus as a ninja. When he later became the Sandaime Hokage and sought them both out, offering them positions as his personal advisors, she had joyfully taken the opportunity to leave the military ranks and become a village elder. Now that he was gone, she felt the need to reaffirm her commitment to aid the new Hokage...a youth of age 16 attempting to lead a village of shinobi.
A thought drifted across her mind: Considering the amounts of death and mayhem in the life of a shinobi, it was possible that she was mentally younger than he was. Instead of amusing her, this only made her sad for him. The youth of this village were being forced to grow faster than ever. As she considered the last few days events again from the position of the Fourth, she came to the realization that if there was ever a time Yondaime needed help, it was probably now. She would aid him as well as she could...after the medical center no longer needed her. Tsunade's loss had been a doubly bad one for its suddenness; she had been both the head medical specialist and the coordinator for the center.
Koharu was so lost in her thoughts that it took a moment for her to recognize that she could no longer see the sky. Instead, all she could see was…a mummy?
Koharu gasped and held back a scream as she leaped to her feet and took a few steps away from whatever was approaching her, and then something registered within her.
"Danzou?"
"Hai..."
She was amazed that she even recognized him, for the last time she'd spoken with him was far back, when they were both teenagers. It seemed his degenerative condition was getting worse, as the bandages surrounding his body would witness to. Beyond that, something about his demeanor just struck her as eerie. "You startled me..." Exhaling deeply and regaining her composure, Koharu returned to her position at the edge of the building.
"I apologize," Danzou said. "My appearance is strange enough without the extra bandages."
Koharu wasn't sure whether he was referring to his look, or the fact that he was actually showing his face in public at all. Danzou, the leader of Root, was a man who worked behind the scenes, never making a noise. Whatever shinobi were in his employ, Koharu was certain that the same would go for them. The fact that he was here meant something was up.
The woman parted her lips and spoke with politeness. "Despite your appearance, I'm sure you didn't come here to get your wounds checked up. What is on your mind?"
Danzou smirked. The woman was not much for small talk, and that suited him just fine. "I came to talk...about old times..." The stiff man walked to the edge of the building and looked downward at the people below before speaking again. "Old times, and new ones, actually..."
Koharu did not budge and continued to look into the sky. "Fire away..."
Danzou looked to Koharu for a moment, then turned and peered over the edge of the building again. "Sometimes, I think I have become too jaded to consider the future properly...and when that happens, I seek a second opinion."
Koharu remained silent, another trick she'd learned in 45 years. Let the man talk until he gave what was really on his mind away.
"You have been around as long as myself, Koharu...you have watched this village battle and bloom. What do you think the future brings?"
Koharu sighed. It was a loaded question; she should have expected as much from Danzou. With a look of thought, Koharu sat up and looked beyond the building, toward Mount Hokage. Her eyes drifted and locked upon the gigantic face of the Fourth, chiseled into the rock only a week ago...her mind had not reached the point of expecting to see a fourth face there. Searching her feelings for a moment, she realized she hadn't really considered the future much. Her mind was always dipping into the past, and she often forced it to dwell on the present, but...
"No one can anticipate the future, Danzou..."
He caught a small amount of apprehension on her voice but was unable to figure out why. She was certainly old enough...stately enough to have an important opinion. "No, of course not. But with time, they can begin to see the patterns meshing...the events that lead up to major change. I want to know if you see what I see."
Koharu remained silent, considering what he had said thus far carefully. It dawned on her suddenly that she probably wasn't being sought because of her age and experience. It was her position...her reputation that mattered in this conversation. Danzou was the type who worked behind the scenes...and she wouldn't put it past him to use her words to get his way somewhere down the line. She would need to be all the more careful in what she said. "Perhaps you should start by telling me what you see, then..."
This wasn't going as well as Danzou had hoped. It was almost as if she didn't have an opinion, but didn't want to admit it. Or perhaps she was just being very guarded about it. Either way, it was unimportant as long as she volunteered it eventually. If he had to force feed her his ideas and see if she threw up, then so be it.
"I remember Sandaime, as you do. A stubborn man, determined to see peace in this village, and to maintain the power it previously had at the same time," Danzou said while withholding the frustration from his voice. "I consider that a paradox, but that was his hope."
Koharu remained silent. This was nothing new: even when he had run for Hokage, Danzou was well known as a war advocate. And she would ignore his light insulting of her retired boss as long as it remained light and outside the subject...
Danzou quickly picked up on her lack of response and continued, "The village under his control has bloomed into a land where children take much of the responsibility...from manning the city walls to leading it entirely." The reference to the ANBU and the Yondaime Hokage was obvious, he decided. He needed not elaborate any further. "Yet," Danzou spoke, raising his voice a bit as if proclaiming a verdict, "these children are untested, no matter how much they think they are...only years of experience can give a ninja the confidence, or lack thereof, that leads to true decision and dedication."
The reference to Koharu's own decision to quit being a ninja was also obvious, but she did not dignify it with a response. She had to admit, Danzou had a way with pissing people off.
Danzou paused for a moment, allowing her time to absorb his previous taunt. Remembering how she had pushed the conversation's flow to a quicker pace earlier, he decided to be blunt with his question. "Do you think he was a wise choice, Koharu? Do you think he can handle what is inevitably coming?"
Koharu remained silent, letting his words sink in. What is inevitably coming? Does he mean war? Quickly, her brain did the math, and she could see his point of view. With the greatest deterrents of war, the Sannin, gone from Konoha, anything was possible. And the Third Hokage had more than likely chosen Arashi over Orochimaru with plans to train him fully on the fly...during a time of peace. Was Arashi ready to lead a fight, or would he crumble under pressure? It wasn't her place to predict such a thing...she had yet to meet the boy.
"It isn't my place to say anything on the Fourth."
"But--"
"--however," Koharu interrupted, "I can say that my opinion of Konoha is different from your own. I think these kids have gone through more tests than we have. To do the things they've done at such an early age...Konoha's greatest heroes are 16 and 20, not 30 and 40 anymore..." Slowly, Koharu got up and walked by Danzou, stopping when she was on the opposite side of him."They may still seem like kids, but they're not."
Danzou shook his head. "They are certainly not men." The few of these that had entered Root would witness to that...heavy mental reprogramming was required for them to function to the organization's standards. What exactly that meant, no one would ever know without doing surgery on Danzou's brain.
Koharu stopped and considered what he had said. He has a point. The boys and girls within ANBU and throughout the Leaf were not yet men like Sarutobi had been when he took office. Many, she imagined, were still too idealistic in one way or another...blind to the way the world worked, and still not sure of their place in it. Still others were jaded the other way, she was certain...Orochimaru had been one of those, and who knew how many others there were? Yet, one thing they did have in their favor...they were far more determined to succeed...more ambitious for the Leaf than Koharu had ever been. With the right guidance, they'd be incredible...
Koharu turned and faced Danzou, and conviction covered her countenance. "They may not be men, but they are strong teens. They lack experience, true...but that shall change with time, naturally, if we allow it to. It is not as if we are forcing them to stand alone." As she watched the look on his face shift from curiosity to some dark emotion she couldn't read, she frowned lightly. "I have not been doing my part in the process of helping them grow, but I am certain that we can all make it through this with teamwork."
Koharu's eyes expressed light gratitude...which she suspected would go unheeded. His words had indeed had an effect on her...but she was sure he didn't intend it. Instead of making her lose faith in the youth of the Leaf, Danzou had made her want to help them as best she could. "Thank you," she said politely, "for seeking me out and asking me about this."
Danzou caught her meaning. She was telling him to drop it. He gave up on her hopeless case, and turned his face away from her warm eyes. Her carefree disposition seemed to Danzou to be a mockery of the situation's seriousness. "I still believe there were better choices for Yondaime."
Koharu didn't say a word.
Danzou got a bit edgy, perhaps even angry as he spoke. "Orochimaru would not have left if he had been given the title. He is far better prepared to lead us through a war. And there are other candidates who were not even given the time of day..."
He had given himself away fully now. Koharu retorted without a drop of emotion. "You mean, like yourself?"
Danzou was the one who remained silent this time. Koharu smiled, and then she left his side and re-entered the building.
Arashi walked into his office and lightly closed the door. The halls were quiet but his mind was not, and he wished he could shut it up. Without a sound, he slid into his chair and put his head down on the desk.
The afternoon's conversations had gone worse than he had thought possible. The diplomats from the Rock and Cloud villages were not diplomats at all...they were thinly-veiled shinobi. They had even been brash enough to conceal weapons on their person before their meeting with Arashi. Scouts, he suspected, or perhaps even the spies that he expected were lurking in Fire Country and Konoha. Either way, it convinced him that the two villages were moving rapidly toward an attack on the Leaf.
As if that weren't bad enough, halfway through their conversation about the chuunin exams, Arashi had been interrupted by two ANBU captains demanding his immediate attention. After dealing with the public relations nightmare as best he could, Arashi left the room and took the ANBU captains down the hall, far away from the diplomacy room. Once he was able to have a private moment with them, they told him the story of Konoha detective Uchiha Sazuka, who had given her verbal report to them from the field. She reported on a run-in with Orochimaru himself, and theA NBU had memorized her story...there was no time for writing it down, for her abdomen was torn by a kunai and she was bleeding lethally. She had since died in the emergency room, they reported. He dismissed them until morning, requesting a full report then.
Returning to the "diplomats" after hearing about that was harder than anything he'd ever done. His heart was torn in so many different directions, but one in particular took over his thoughts as he talked to them. He wanted Orochimaru's head. He wanted to go into the field and get it himself. Considering this was something he just didn't have time (or freedom) to do right now, however, these thoughts were not expressed. He wondered if the Cloud and Rock village diplomats were aware enough to recognize the anger and frustration that began to cover his face then...
Their final words ran through his head repetitively; they had given away more than they thought.
The Cloud diplomat had risen at the close of the meeting. "If there is nothing more you have to report, then we intend go to our leader and voice concern...I personally see no reason for such an important event to be held in Konoha in its current state." He had looked over to the Stone diplomat and nodded, and the Stone diplomat had voiced his agreement.
There was only one diplomat from each country...the use of the word "we" suggested some collaboration, or perhaps even alliance. It was possible that Arashi was overthinking it. He had left the room, and it was possible they had enough time to talk to each other then and become friends. Yet, Arashi knew that a shinobi had to act on such hunches as his own. And Cloud's diplomat had just about said that he thought Konoha was weak now. It was valuable information to be stored away, but the true question in Arashi's mind was what exactly to do about it.
Things just weren't looking good at all...Arashi found himself wondering if the Konoha of next week would be recognizable as the same village as the Konoha of two weeks ago. Everything was happening all at once...the entire political situation was shifting faster than most eyes could follow. Doubt was all around, and it had not missed its mark in Arashi. What would become of his village in the next month? Was he strong enough to pull them through?
It was this that was on his mind when he got an unexpected visitor. A light knock on his door was followed by a harder, more authoritative pounding.
Arashi sat up a bit and grabbed the last of the day's paperwork, but he did not bother to look toward the door. He didn't need anyone else to know he was feeling this badly. "It's open..."
The door opened slowly, but Arashi heard no footsteps enter the room. Without looking up, Arashi spoke again. "Come in."
"Geez, Arashi...you look...mean."
Arashi considered that for a moment, and realized his face was twisted in a pretty tight scowl. Apparently he'd covered up his doubt and fear with anger. Arashi glanced up from his paperwork, fairly sure he knew who it was. Only one person he knew ever said "Geez"...
Uzumaki Narashima stood at the door, a concerned look on her face. Arashi smiled despite himself, and motioned to her. "Come on in, seriously."
Arashi watched her slowly walk into the room; he was a bit surprised by how long she spent looking at the pictures on the walls. Eventually, he diverted his eyes back to his paperwork. Maybe he could finish it early if he put his mind to it. Then, he could focus his mind on his guest fully. Hokage first, Arashi thought. Friend second.
Still yet, even as he tried to focus on his paperwork, he was aware of everything else going on. He heard Nara's feet step past his desk and behind him. And he was still quite aware of the voices of doubt in his head. A moment of drifting thoughts led to him dropping the pen with which he had been working. He stooped down quickly to pick it back up, and mumbled cursingly to the random thoughts in his head. "Ugh...why won't you leave me alone..."
It was a good thing that Nara didn't understand what he said.
Arashi snatched the pen and returned to his paperwork. A moment later, Nara surprised him by plopping into one of the cushy chairs in front of his desk and lightly asking, "So...what's got you so tied in knots?"
The casual way she asked the question did not change the level of seriousness in the room one bit. Arashi ran back through his day mentally, trying to decide what details were worth discussing again. After a moment, he stated, "I've just had a rough day, that's all..."
He could feel her eyes attempting to make contact with his...to pry something from him. He refused to give her the eye contact she wanted, and he somehow felt as if he had failed some sort of test in doing so...
"You're having more than just a bad day."
Arashi frowned. "I really shouldn't discuss any of this until I talk to the elders..."
He felt that silent hint of demanded eye contact once again, and this time he honored it. The look he saw in Nara's eyes asked a question. Do you trust me?
"I won't tell anyone," Nara whispered. It made him feel like he was 8, trying to keep a secret...
And, just like that, he realized how futile it was to keep things away from Nara. Without hesitation, he spoke.
"We found Orochimaru today..."
Over the next five to ten minutes, Arashi let loose his frustration. He told her about the Uchiha who died at Orochimaru's hands. He told her about the "diplomats", the chuunin exams, and his lack of desire to fight for them. He told it all, with no order or holding back...he unleashed his pure stream of consciousness.
As he poured out his frustrations, he noticed the look on Nara's face shift. What looked like concern at first seemed to shift for a moment to...disapproval was what came to mind for Arashi, but there was more to it than that. The look unsettled him, and he quickly grew quiet beneath her gaze. Something he had said...something must have come out of his mouth wrong.
Nara looked away from him for a moment, her eyes burning with intensity. Her voice, however, was slightly shaky, as if she were hurt by something he'd said. "All those things you said before...about our strength being our middle..." (AN: If you have no idea what is being referred to, read "Valor and Harmony" Chapter 4)
Arashi raised an eyebrow involuntarily. Where's she going with this?
Nara looked back to him, the same glaring disapproval lurking in her eye contact. "I see now...you never believed that." Her eyes seemed to search his for some clue of understanding...he felt as if she were searching for some unconscious agreement with her words.
All his face gave her was confusion.
Nara spoke again, unconvinced by his confusion. "If you honestly believed what you had said before, you wouldn't be nearly as distraught as you obviously are."
Arashi noticed as her fists began to ball, and his heart panicked. Why is she mad? He verbally blocked her stabs. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know what I mean, damn it!" Nara's face slipped further into contempt for Arashi, and she slammed her fists on his desk. "There's no need to lie to me too!"
His lips moved incoherently as he tried to comprehend what had just happened...and then it clicked. She'd just revealed why she was getting angry. She thought he was a liar.
Arashi's eyes reflected recognition as he put two and two together. Once, a few months before this, Nara had put his confidence to the ultimate test, placing her life on the line to see his convictions for what they really were. Now, she was beginning to think that he'd somehow put on a good face for the public, and included her in the farce. He'd put up a wall of false responses, she was thinking, but inside he was still jello.
Even though he did feel like jello right now, he couldn't let that thought...that look on her face stay that way. With determination and authority, he spoke. "NO. That's just not true. I haven't lied to you or anyone on that matter."
Arashi looked directly into Nara's rebellious, contemptuous eyes, and dared not break eye contact. Slowly, he saw her anger fade, and her eyes widened a bit in confusion as it happened. Her eyes were still accusing of him as she spoke. "If that's the case, then what is your problem?"
It really began to dawn on him that she thought he was that much of a farce...and his mind rebelled against the idea fully. "Of course I believe my own theories," Arashi yelled. "Why wouldn't I?" Emotion leaked into his voice...anger and frustration coarsing through every word. "But who else does?"
That gave Nara pause. Arashi continued. "Who among the Leaf really believes that the loss of the Sannin hasn't left us vulnerable and weak?" He returned her accusing look. "Do YOU?"
Nara's eyes reflected doubt, and she didn't give him the eye contact that the look on his face demanded from her. He dropped it, however, and continued on..."Who do you think, among our enemies, actually believes that? What good is our strength doing us?"
The point had been driven in quite well now, and Arashi dropped his anger and remained silent. The silence lasted exactly 2 minutes and 37 seconds, his mind reported.
At that point, Nara let out an exasperated sigh. The look on her face made it obvious that she had seen the reason behind his words...her anger had been replaced with something resembling depression. The look was contagious, and Arashi forced himself to stop frowning before speaking again.
"We've remained diplomatic with theRock and the Cloud, despite their open determination to one day be the strongest countries. Their leaders have always been more than a bit afraid to cross us in the past, and that probably has something to do with it. Now...I don't know how long hostilities will remain down, especially considering today." Arashi sighed in return and held his head, feeling his headache from earlier come back on. Something Sarutobi had said before suddenly came to mind.
"...the peace I've tried to create my entire life is tainted now…"
He had been speaking of Orochimaru, Arashi had thought at the time. Now, he wondered if Sarutobi hadn't seen this coming. Yes...he had to know that no matter what Orochimaru chose to do, war was coming for Konoha. Peace was beyond tainted. It was gone.
Arashi's reflection on the subject was interrupted by Nara. "So, we go to war," Nara said tranquilly. She made eye contact with him again, her eyes less probing this time, but still curious. "That still doesn't explain why you're having such a hard time coping..."
Arashi looked at her in surprise. She was talking about this as if it were a chess match with a toddler, as opposed to all out shinobi war. "Do you realize how hard this battle will be? Do you remember those scenarios I told you about before, where the Raikage and Doukage attacked one wall, while the three lords of Cloud attacked another? There's a chance that something like that could actually happen, you know..."
Nara frowned a bit and nodded. "I don't mean to downplay them at all...but we've gone to war before. I don't think that's what you are afraid of."
Arashi's entire face shifted to a thoughtful expression as he realized what she was getting at. He looked away from her and fiddled with the paperwork as he attempted to paint the picture from his own mind. "Cloud and Rock are both north of us, separated by a lake and a country without a shinobi village. It wouldn't be too difficult for them to send reinforcements and cover each other's backs. They have a very well-placed geographical alliance, complete with a supply line that we can't easily shut down since we don't have a navy. Meanwhile, our distance to each is nearly as far as the distance between them...but our path involves cutting through other villages, or taking a more roundabout route..."
Arashi noticed that Nara nodded at each detail, but remained silent and patient. Often, by now, she would have asked him to cut to the chase, but this was important enough to allow some detail discussion, he figured. He elaborated a bit more, building his point.
"Also, we're at a disadvantage because we don't intend to make the first move...that means we'll be playing from behind. Because of all this, we're going to be fighting with our backs against the wall for some time. This is the kind of battle which could easily become a war of attrition. It could go on for years before we effectively bring things into a stalemate and truce...or it could become a bloodbath for everyone involved, and we'd have to pick up the pieces of Konoha and rebuild..."
"One false move or error," Nara replied, "and kiss Konoha goodbye." Nara had apparently put two and two together about what Arashi feared. She didn't move from her position as she threw her conclusion out there. "You're afraid that the wrong decision that causes that could be your own..."
Arashi looked away from her, not wanting to see another disapproving look at this point. "Despite everything I've been through, I haven't been trained to handle this type of chaos, and I've already done a horrible job. If I keep making mistakes, could we be put in an unwinnable situation before we even get the chance to fight?"
Nara was silent, but Arashi could feel her eyes on him, and it made him uncomfortable. Shifting in his seat a bit, he continued speaking, attempting to talk away the awkwardness. "I wish Sandaime were here...I don't know how he managed this, considering the first half of his time as Hokage was a huge war. We haven't even had a war yet, and I'm already at wits' end...I don't know..."
Nara took a deep breath, and then lightly planted her hands on the end of the table and scooted up her chair. "Listen to me carefully, Arashi."
Arashi looked up and made eye contact with her. Her deep blue eyes were unwavering, focused directly on his.
"You remember when we first became Jounin, we thought they were going to give us teams to lead?"
Arashi silently nodded.
A very small smile crept onto her face as she remembered those happier times. "Both of us were scared to death of trying to train kids...we thought we'd get our whole teams killed."
Arashi smiled too. Those worries seemed pointless now...maybe these would someday as well, he thought. But, that didn't help him deal with it now. Suddenly, he realized Nara was speaking again.
"Sandaime-sama told us something important when we talked to him about it...do you remember what he said?
Arashi considered what she'd asked and tried to remember. It wasn't coming back clearly, and he shook his head no. Nara raised a finger and shook it lightly, then recited.
"There are times when you can't worry about your team...just do your part and trust that the others will do theirs."
Nara paused, and the words registered in Arashi's mind. Arashi looked back toward her, and saw her eyes mist over with tears. The look on her face was a consoling one to him, not the disappointed look he'd expected. It dawned upon him then that she was no longer angry. She seemed to be deeply and genuinely concerned, and he was surprised by the change. She spoke again.
"If Sandaime would say that about leading a genin team, they are definitely still applicable now, Arashi...no one expects you to do it all...this isn't your war, it's Konoha's. And we are your team. You are our leader. Surely, Sandaime told you what a Hokage's mission is...this is the time you should do it, and trust that the rest of Konoha will do ours." A confident smile crossed her face, and Arashi found he couldn't help but smile back.
Nara continued, a bit louder, "Do you realize you've reached the pinnacle of shinobi, and you're not even enjoying it? You're killing yourself with worry! I'd never want to be Hokage if I saw you moping around like this all day..."
Arashi chuckled as he considered it. She had been right on all counts. In fact, she'd said exactly what he'd needed to hear. Arashi looked back to her and smiled brightly in gratitude. "Thanks, Nara..." He had been in great need of a reminder that everyone who had supported him thus far hadn't left. One of his greatest friends was still around, and she'd done everything she could to pull him out of the funk he was in. "I appreciate it."
Nara's blue eyes shimmered like an ocean, and she reached up and wiped the tears from them. "Anytime," she said nonchalantly.
"No, really, I mean it. You did something for me today I didn't expect from anyone." Arashi reached into a drawer and pulled out a tissue box, passing it to Nara. He spoke again as she reached for the tissue and wiped away.
"I really was thinking that my support corner had bailed on me. My sensei Jiraiya, almost like my father...my 'mom' Tsunade...my trainer as a kage, Sarutobi...all gone. I've felt so...alone." His eyes shut themselves to block the tears that so suddenly threatened to come out. He'd never forget just how dark and despair-riddled life had been these past few days, when he'd been forced to face it alone. Even though he was an orphan, he'd never experienced that level of uncertainty before today...and now he understood why.
When he was 6, one girl had been there for him after his father's death, and she was back now. And just like that, things didn't seem so uncertain anymore. Arashi opened his eyes again and let the tears flow, not even reaching for a tissue. They were tears of happiness, and he was glad to cry them. "Of all my support crew, Nara-chan...I'm glad you're the one who stayed."
Orochimaru might have started a chain reaction that would put the whole village in danger. Konoha wasn't confident in her own strength, and neither were her enemies. Yet, there was one thing Arashi still had faith in...love.
He realized now that he had faltered because he'd forgotten his love for his friends. With so many of them bailing upon him, he'd allowed worry and despair to fill his heart. Watching Nara blow her nose, he knew he'd never do that again. And he knew that Konoha would not fall...because no one in this village would ever allow their friends and family to fall with it. Whether the enemy was from within or without didn't matter...no one would ever crush this village.
Another set of Sandaime's words came back to him vividly...
"This village…is strong. It was built on the arms of strong leaders, and its people will fight for their friends. But, when a true struggle comes and their strength falters, they will need a reminder…of how strong they truly are. THAT…is your job. NEVER…EVER…forget that, Yondaime-sama."
Now, it was clear to Arashi what Sarutobi had meant. And now, he was pretty sure he grasped all of Sandaime's teachings on the subject of being the Hokage. Arashi smiled and considered it all, and felt the confidence return to him. He was ready to be Hokage in truth and deed. Arashi smiled and looked to Nara once more, his green eyes filled with gratitude and love. "Someday, maybe I'll explain to you what all you just did...but for now this will have to suffice."
Nara's confused look suggested that an explanation was indeed necessary, but it would have to wait. Arashi rose from his seat and walked around the desk and extended a hand to Nara. Once she grabbed it, he pulled her up from her seat and into his arms, and gave her the strongest hug he could muster. "Thank you...you've reminded me of more than you know...and you've proven why I call you my best friend."
She hugged him back, but he let go of her as politely as he could. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have to go back to being Hokage now." He wanted to stay and talk, and he was sure she did too. But, now that he knew what must be done, he had to get with the elders very soon...
Nara nodded and smiled to him. "You do that," she replied, her eyes locked upon his. She could clearly see the strength in his eyes again, and she felt her normal admiration of him take over again. As a blush spread across Nara's face, Arashi hastily told her goodbye and left the room. The difference in Arashi's movement from 15 minutes ago was astounding, but it made Nara proud to know she'd had a hand in it. He had purpose again, and the confidence in his walk suggested that he'd be fine. You go be the Hokage we all know you can be, Nara thought.
The days had been dark recently, but Nara was optimistic. That chapter is over, her mind declared. We're turning the page.
END CHAPTER 4
Holy crap this fic has jumped from 1000 hits to over 1900 in the time it took me to write this chapter...I'm glad to see people are reading it again!
This chapter...ehhhh...I'd really like your opinion on it. I've been sick with a sinus infection for a couple of weeks, and my mind gets quite hazy and tired when I'm sick. This wasn't hard to write, but it was AMAZINGLY difficult to correct in that situation. I'd really appreciate any reviews I could get for this part, because I want to make sure it sounds good. Send me a private message or a review if there's anything glaringly wrong with it please. It's an important scene, and I'd hate for a major turning point like this to end up being remembered for how badly it was written. I'll look at it myself when I feel all the way better, but your reviews may avoid 200 people reading a bad version before then!
On another note, this chapter of the fic is complete. If you want to understand the timeline I've been running with, this whole chapter is happening a few weeks after Valor and Harmony 5. Soon, I'll be putting up the same scene as above for Valor and Harmony 6, except that one will be from the point of view of Nara, and will probably be written when I'm no longer sick. :P
Anyway, please read and review!