Boromir, Thou Shall Live
By pmochizuki
Author's Note: I'm baaaaaaack! I apologize profusely for my long absence. So much has happened recently and I've been so busy. What with SATs coming up, family stuff going on, lots of school stuff… you can well imagine I guess. Again, so sorry for having kept you waiting!
This chapter all takes place in Dunharrow and Bawuer's past will finally be revealed (at least, as much as I'm going to reveal. :P) I hope you enjoy this long awaited (I think) chapter. Because of your patience, this chapter is the longest I've ever written.
Special thanks to reviewers at the bottom of the chapter!
Special Announcement: Please read the special announcement at the bottom of the chapter! It has to do with my wonderful new beta-reader!
Chapter Thirty-Six: Many Revelations
Bawuer left the tent feeling more than a little relieved to see that his friend seemed to be in better condition. The fact that he was awake at all had eased his worry enough for him to feel his own weariness. Bawuer rubbed his eyes trying to push away the blurriness from his vision. It had been a long night…
The tap on his shoulder made him turn to face his mother. Admonishingly she smiled up at him with blue eyes that hardly suppressed the light of motherly love. "You still haven't properly greeted your mother."
"I know, and I'm very sorry." Bawuer took both of her hands into his own and kissed his mother's forehead. "You are quite the angel, do you know that?"
"Indeed I do, though why an angel like me should have such a lad for a son." Faedwyn took one of her hands from Bawuer's to gently rest upon his cheek. "You seem to find trouble wherever you go."
"Yes, I seem to, don't I?" Bawuer laughed, though he did not find any mirth in his own words. What he had said was too true, and it was also no laughing matter when he thought about it.
Seeing the sudden look of deep thought on her son's face, Faedwyn too became serious. "Bawuer, I think I deserve an explanation of what you are doing here with that man as a companion," she said with a stern look.
Though he knew it was better not to antagonize his mother, his evasive nature took over, making him say, "What's wrong with 'that man'? I would have you'd like him."
Withdrawing both her hands now, Faedwyn pursed her lips. "If you want to play that game with your own mother, so be it. But there is one question to which I demand an answer, for I feel it has much to do with you, me, and our whole family. Why have you not told him about your ties to Gondor?"
Fearing someone would overhear, for even now the inhabitants of the camp were beginning to move about, Bawuer gently guided his mother to a more secluded area near the paddock. But once they reached there, Bawuer found he had not found a sufficient answer to give her. So he remained silent, staring at the horses. If he knew his mother at all, she would soon break the silence, and hopefully she could answer the question for him…
True to his thoughts, Faedwyn soon did speak. "You were always a happy child. Always cheerful, always befriending just any stranger. I remember you had so many friends and companions. Everywhere you went, children followed your lead."
Shrugging his shoulders, Bawuer tried to keep his tone light as he replied, "That was before I came here. I am not that little boy anymore."
"No, you're not. Instead I see a loner who prefers spending time by himself, hiding his thoughts, and refusing to speak to his own mother."
Surprised and more than a little shocked by her words, Bawuer could only stare at his mother until he could no longer stand her sharp look. Looking down at his feet, Bawuer sighed. "That was harsh."
He could hear her sigh, too, and when she spoke again, her tone had softened. "I know." She reached out to put her arm around his waist, and Bawuer reacted by putting his own arm around her shoulders. "But don't you think you deserved it?"
"Hmm… maybe." Bawuer gently kissed the top of her head, for she stood much shorter than his own height. "Besides," he said brightly, to change the solemn mood they had fallen in, "you must answer truthfully that all the women still fall for me."
"Unfortunately, yes," Faedwyn said with a laugh. "You still have your good looks if nothing else."
"Now that was harsh!" the Rohirrim soldier said, feigning pain.
Faedwyn suddenly faced him with an unreadable look. Again she put her hand on his cheek and spoke, her voice so soft that Bawuer had to lean forward to hear her words. "You look exactly like man I fell in love with and married."
Abruptly, Bawuer pulled away, bewildered. "I look nothing like father!"
Smiling at his unease with the subject, Faedwyn answered quietly, "You may have the fair coloring of the Rohirrim, yet you still look like your father. And you are like him also in some ways."
Noting how uncomfortable her son seemed, Faedwyn shook her head in exasperation. "Why can you not forgive him? It was been too long. Are you still angry because you feel your father has hurt me?"
"Hasn't he?" Bawuer bit back sharply.
Faedwyn sighed, her eyes sad, making Bawuer wish they were not talking about this painful subject. He tried to apologize but was quickly interrupted. "Bawuer, there never was anything to forgive your father for in the first place. Both your father and I felt we were doing what was best. Can you not accept that?"
Gritting his teeth, Bawuer refused to answer. He knew very well his mother wouldn't like the answer. He knew she was frustrated that he could not understand her, but why couldn't she seem to understand his own feelings?
"But maybe this isn't just about your father? Maybe it's about – "
Despite his resoluteness to remain silent, Bawuer strove to cut her off before she could finish her sentence. "Mother, I beg of you, do not dare to mention her name," Bawuer hissed.
Faedwyn triumphantly lifted her chin. "So it is about her, isn't it? Or at least a little part of it?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"But you have to talk about it someday! You can't keep it in inside of you, it is not healthy."
Bawuer shot her a look of anger, once again wondering why she could not understand how he felt. "It is not my wish to forget her completely! She's the one who refused to see me, refused to speak to me! Do you know the last thing she said to me? She said I was dead to her!"
Faedwyn tried to reach out for Bawuer but he stepped away, too lost in his thoughts to receive any comfort. Memories of that fateful, terrible day…
Vaguely, Bawuer heard his mother speaking to him but he was in no mood to speak of it. "Mother, not now. And not ever."
Knowing the look of stubbornness in his expression, Faedwyn began to walk away. But before she had taken more than a few steps, she quickly faced him. "What were you planning to tell your friend upon reaching Minas Tirith?"
"He doesn't have to know," Bawuer replied flatly.
In defeat, Faedwyn cast her eyes to the ground. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Bawuer. Please. Don't shame yourself any further." With one last, sad look, she went away, leaving Bawuer in turmoil.
As soon as she was out of sight, he cursed the Valar and in his anger brought his fist down hard onto the fence. Why was it whenever he and his mother had this conversation, she always left him feeling so angry? Angry at her, angry at his father, angry at the whole cursed situation… angry with himself.
Feeling the anger ebb a bit, Bawuer closed his eyes and leaned his back against the same fence he had struck in his anger. As usual, when the anger began to fade away, it was replaced with the shame his mother had so correctly pointed out.
Under all other circumstances, he and his mother got along splendidly. They never fought or argued. Yet on this one topic, the conversation ended by him losing his temper and her leaving to seek solitude. And in those moments of solitude, Bawuer knew she cried, though she tried to hide the fact from him.
He did not want to see her cry any more.
Going over their argument once more, Bawuer tried to think of how he could rectify any of the hurt he had given his mother. First of all, she was hurt that he couldn't forgive his father. Bawuer inwardly rolled his eyes. There was no way he could just easily grant pardon to his father. Not for what he had done.
Nor her.
Then there was the whole situation concerning the heir to the Stewardship of Gondor. Bawuer grudgingly wondered what he must have been thinking, deciding to keep Boromir in the dark. It was very possible that the Gondorian would never find out. Yet on the other hand, the possibility he would find out what also quite high. And whatever happened, it would be better for Bawuer to explain the situation himself rather than Boromir to find out in some other uncomfortable circumstance.
Deciding then and there to tell his traveling companion everything, Bawuer paused as he caught sight of a woman.
The Lady Eowyn was a distinctly beautiful creature. Her blue dress was too fine and costly for anyone but the royal family of Rohan, and her flowing gold-spun hair could belong to none other than the fair maiden.
Admiring the view, Bawuer leaned back and watched the way she weaved through various tents, people, and horses, as if she had a clear destination in mind. It had been a while since he had last seen her, being stationed in Helm's Deep, but Bawuer saw that she still carried herself in a soldierly manner. Her back was straight and her chin held high; yet she easily maintained her graceful manner rare even among women.
Well… she was unlike any normal woman, that was for certain. A shield-maiden, a warrior… yes, Eowyn was not quite like the other women Bawuer had met.
With a startling realization, Bawuer discovered that Eowyn seemed to be heading straight for him. Their eyes locked, and Bawuer also realized he had unabashedly been staring at her.
Casting his eyes to the ground quickly, Bawuer tried to disappear from her line of sight. At least, until he heard his name being called out, by the very person he had been staring at.
"Pardon me, but are you Bawuer?"
Giving a nod then lifting his head so that his gaze rested on her face, he answered respectfully, "Aye, that I am, Lady Eowyn."
Most unexpectedly, Bawuer saw a flash of anger and annoyance cross her face. Slightly unhinged, Bawuer nervously bit his lip. What had he done? He had only arrived that morning, there was no way he could already be in some sort of trouble…
The White Lady spoke before Bawuer could ask her what was the matter. "I have discovered that you arrived here this morning. Arrived here secretly I might add. Are you wishing to avoid anyone in particular?"
Finally understanding where this was leading, Bawuer desperately searched his head for a plausible explanation for his actions. Deciding to discover just how much she really knew, he tentatively stated, "If you would pardon me for correcting my lady, but it was not through secrecy in which I arrived."
"Then why did the guards not inform me of your arrival? It has been but an hour since I personally visited the guards. Imagine my surprise when they hesitated in answering my question on whether there was anything to report."
He could really well imagine. She had probably glared at them just as she was doing now. He couldn't blame the guards for admitting that someone had entered the camp that morning. But knowing it was better not to speak at the precise moment, Bawuer remained silent, allowing her to continue.
"I also discover that you were previously stationed at Helm's Deep. Now I am very much curious as to why you are standing here, in Dunharrow, without any explanation."
Eowyn folded her arms across her chest, obviously waiting for him to give some sort of reply.
Bawuer hoped he could bluff his way out of this predicament smoothly. Giving Eowyn his most charming smile, he explained, "My arrival went by unnoticed, and there was no thought in my head for my coming to be done in secret. Believe me when I say I did not wish to disturb the whole camp, and most certainly not my Lady. I would not wish to have wakened you from your sleep."
The lady looked away briefly. "I was awake," she said quietly, the tone of her voice making Bawuer cautiously move closer to her.
"Are you all right?" he inquired with a hint of worry in his voice.
Eowyn, seeming to have awoken from whatever daydream she had quietly stolen away to, met his eyes abruptly. Any quiet solemnity in her eyes melted away to once more reveal her ice. "I'm fine," she said, brushing away his question without further thought. "And the reason you are here in Dunharrow now?"
Thinking quickly, Bawuer decided he would have to reveal some level of truth if he was going to get away with anything. But how to do it without giving Boromir away…?
Time was wasting, and he had no way of keeping Boromir out of it. So, inwardly praying that he sounded believable, he spoke. "After the battle at Helm's Deep, I was asked to escort a foreigner to the realm of Gondor. It was during this journey in which my companion and I were forced to seek refuge in Dunharrow because of a band of Dunlendings."
"I can see."
The Rohirrim lady gestured to his face, and Bawuer self-consciously touched his forehead, which still throbbed in a distracting manner. He wiped away some of the dried blood, using the slight pause in conversation to imprint in his memory what he had just said. It would do him no good to forget to keep his own fable straight…
Eowyn, looking most dubious, raised an eyebrow. "And who was it that asked you to escort your foreign companion to a realm in which Rohan has had little dealings with of late?"
"That would be your own brother, Eomer, son of Eomund, Third Marshall of the Riddermark."
At this, the lady's eyes widened and her lips parted slightly in surprise. Then just as quickly, her eyes narrowed with a spark of distrust. "If you should be using my brother's name to conceal any deceit –"
"Indeed, my lady, I would not wish to associate your brother's good name with any deceit," Bawuer interrupted, wondering if the Valar considered mixing truth with some 'colored facts' to be called wrongful deceit. Well, maybe not if he wasn't enjoying himself. And in all truth, he was not liking the situation.
"Your companion's name?"
"That would be Lavlaisi. And before my lady asks, I was told to follow Lavlaisi to wherever he wished. Even now I do not know where our final destination shall be."
"Lavlaisi?"
Bawuer hesitated for a brief moment before answering, "Unfortunately, he was injured and is even now being tended by a healer."
"I wish to see him." Eowyn inclined her head as if commanding him to lead the way.
Careful as not to erase the trust she seemed to temporarily be giving him, Bawuer stayed where he was. "I'm afraid that would be quite awkward, considering he is resting. He is suffering from much loss of blood and needs his rest."
Eowyn gave a quiet laugh without humor. "If I were paranoid, I would think you are hiding much behind your words, which seem open. What makes you so confident that you carefully defy me, thinking I will not have you placed under arrest?"
Bawuer cleared his throat, using those precious moments to think of what to say without sounding desperate. "My lady, if you doubt my sincerity, please, place me under arrest. But I pledge now, as a soldier of Rohan, that I am indeed telling you the truth." At least, all the truth that I am allowed to reveal…
For a few moments, neither spoke, gauging the other's expression and trying to determine the other's thoughts. Finally, much to Bawuer's amazement, Eowyn gave him a small smile. "Your confidence and assurance speak much more plainly than your somewhat unorthodox manner and words. Very well, I shall leave you in peace during your stay here in Dunharrow."
Bowing low at the waist, Bawuer spoke. "My Lady is gracious."
"That remains to be seen. I expect to have you and your friend as guests at my table before you leave. As your hostess, you will allow me this much."
Eowyn extended her hand, which Bawuer took gently. For a moment he forgot who the lady was and allowed himself to be captivated by her beauty. Her eyes no longer seemed so cold, and through their touch Bawuer could feel the warmth of her hand. Lowering his voice, Bawuer replied sincerely, "How can I refuse such a request?"
Before he could dwell too much on her beauty, the Rohirrim soldier felt Eowyn tighten her grip on his hand. In a flash, Bawuer was reminded that though a woman, nevertheless, Eowyn was still a shield maiden. And one with a very good grip.
She must have seen him grimace for she hardened her gaze. "I also expect for you to inform me when you will be leaving Dunharrow. I would very much like to be present in sending you off when you leave to continue your journey."
"Lavlaisi and I may have to leave on very short notice," Bawuer said slowly, knowing it would do no good to make promises.
"Do you wish me to assign a stable boy to be with you? That way you may send him to me whenever you wish to leave. He shall save the trouble of… how shall I say it… taking the time to inform me of your departure?"
Stable boy… or spy. Bawuer could very well imagine Eowyn assigning someone to watch him in either case. So instead of arguing, Bawuer smiled. "It is not necessary, my lady. If you believed me to have entered the camp in secrecy, you shall not think so of me when I leave."
"That shall remain to be seen. Till we meet again."
Believing she had spoken the last word, Eowyn dipped her head politely. Except, surprisingly she had forgotten that they were still holding hands. The mischievous, womanizing side of Bawuer took over him as Eowyn was about to pull her hand away. Before she could complete the act, Bawuer bent down to place a kiss on her hand. Looking up again, he was quite pleased to see she seemed speechless, something she had not expressed since they had first began conversing. But Bawuer could see in her eyes that his action had sparked some pleasure within those cold depths.
As Eowyn finally turned and began walking away, Bawuer could not help but inwardly feel triumphant. He still had that way with women…
He was about to start whistling a jaunty tune when he froze. There was Eowyn up ahead, talking to one of her guards. By the looks of things, she seem to be the one doing most of the talking. And at that exact moment, both turned to face him but seeing that he saw them, turned away.
Gritting his teeth, Bawuer realized that his guess had been right. Eowyn was going to make sure he was watched his whole time here in Dunharrow. And while at it, possibly find out a little more about him.
His admiration of her beauty and grace now grew to admiration for her level head and logical thinking, though it was also mixed with a little annoyance. Realizing the danger of someone snooping around, Bawuer decided it would be better to warn his family of what was happening.
But first things first. It was time to have a little talk with Boromir.
Boromir uncomfortably shifted his position and was welcomed with pain instead of relief. Sighing in frustration, Boromir decided that it was impossible to believe that he could find any rest under the circumstances. His back ached so much that he could hardly move without pulling the torn muscles in his back. As for his arms…
Looking blankly up at the top of the tent, Boromir carefully assessed his situation. His right arm felt the most painful at the moment. If he tried he could move his fingers, but he immediately gave up trying to lift his arm. It was impossible for now.
His left arm had him more worried, however, for it felt strangely dead to him. Yes, he could move it, albeit a bit stiffly, yet there was no strength in the movements. More like a numbed feeling spreading from his fingertips up to his shoulder. But why…
As much as he did not wish to, Boromir replayed the events of the fight against the Ringwraith. The initial exchange of words; the Rider asking of the whereabouts of Aragorn. The clashing of swords, and the revealing of Boromir's real name.
Then that moment of eternity, when the Ringwraith had given his offer.
Even now, the offer left a bad taste in the Gondorian's mouth. He could hardly believe he had listened to the voice of deceit itself. In irritation, Boromir pushed the thought away and concentrated on remembering what had happened last night.
Being pinned down on the ground, and the Nazgul blade being thrust into his arm. Then reaching out for Elanorcil…
Reaching out for Elanorcil with his left hand.
Thoughtfully looking at his numbed arm, Boromir wondered if his striking the Ringwraith with that hand may be the reason behind the strange sensations he was feeling. Or perhaps it was only wild guessing on his part.
As for remembering anything else, Boromir could hardly recall getting up from the ground, never mind mounting his horse. There was some sort of vague memory of speaking to Bawuer about heading towards Dunharrow. But after that, Boromir could honestly say he remembered neither the journey to nor the arrival at Dunharrow.
Looking around the tent, he saw it was sparsely furnished except for a low, makeshift table at one corner and a blanket laid on the ground next to it. A variety of herbs and other healing instruments were methodically placed on the blanket.
As for his own gear, Boromir saw that it was neatly placed to his right against the edge of the tent within easy reach. And the closest item he could touch was his scabbard, with Elanorcil still sheathed within.
For a few moments he debated with himself whether he should reach for it or not. He still remembered how cold to the touch his sword had been after fighting the Ringwraith. An odd fact, which he had been and was even now, troubled about. Yet maybe there was the simple explanation that he had imagined it all.
There was only one way to find out, so Boromir carefully eased the blanket off his chest and with his better arm, pushed himself up into a sitting position. He did not account for the sudden dizziness, and he almost lost his balance. Refusing to fall back, he instead leaned far forward so as to not fall over. He closed his eyes, and tenderly touched the back of his head. He didn't seem to have gashed his head when he had hit that rock on the ground, but he could feel that a sizable bump had formed.
After some of the disorientation left him, Boromir twisted his body to his right so he could grab his scabbard with his left hand. Unpleasant as the movement felt, he was able to accomplish the task without doing any apparent damage to his injuries. Finally he had his sword lying across his lap.
For a little while, all he could do was stare at the weapon. It didn't appear to be any different from before. Yet he couldn't have imagined the touch of frost on its handle, could he?
Hesitantly, he slowly brushed his fingertips across the handle. Nothing. Maybe there was nothing…
But as Boromir grasped the handle, he knew it wasn't true. He sucked in his breath suddenly as he felt the cold seep through the arm, which had been numb and so devoid of feeling just moments ago. He let go of the sword abruptly and stared down at his left arm. So cold…
Without thought he brought the blanket closer around him. So cold…
"Lavlaisi?"
The soft whisper caused Boromir to look up quickly towards the entrance of the tent. Instinctively he reached for his sword but just in time held himself back from taking it into his hand again.
Fortunately, his guest was Bawuer, who didn't seem to take any notice of Boromir's strange movements. A scolding look was in the Rohirrim's eye as Bawuer said, "I thought you were supposed to be resting."
Boromir good-naturedly countered, "If you thought I was resting, I wonder that you come in here at all?"
Bawuer winced. "Good point. I shall leave – "
"No, please don't," Boromir hastily interrupted. "I did not mean it that way and I wouldn't mind the company." Yes, I wouldn't mind the company. Better than to be left alone with my thoughts…
Thinking that Bawuer would have insisted he get some rest, Boromir was surprised that the young man entered the tent without much hesitance. Obviously Bawuer had something he wished to say, otherwise he would have left.
Bawuer gestured toward Elanorcil. "Will you keep it with you, or would you rather that I return it with your gear?"
"I have no use for it." Silently, Boromir also thought to himself that he doubted he'd want to ever touch it again.
Oddly enough, as Bawuer picked it up to put it away, Boromir noticed that the man was careful to avoid touching the handle. But as Bawuer did not say anything, Boromir chose also to remain silent.
While Bawuer made himself comfortable on the ground, Boromir carefully searched the other's face. Besides looking incredibly tired, there was also a stiffness around the corners of his mouth which Boromir found strange.
Seeing as Bawuer did not speak, Boromir decided to start the conversation. "I have yet to thank you. If it were not for you, I doubt I could have made it back to any sort of civilization."
"No need to thank me," Bawuer insisted. "Instead, I should be thanking you for killing that Nazgul. If you hadn't done what you did, I would very likely have been that winged creature's next victim."
Boromir realized he had forgotten all about the Rider's steed. Hadn't the Nazgul spoken in the Black Speech after Bawuer had challenged it? "I'm not sure if I remember – "
"Just before you took Elanorcil, the winged creature was about to attack me," Bawuer explained. "I doubt I could have countered such an assault if you hadn't struck when you did."
Not having any memory of what had occurred, Boromir could only shrug. "You would probably have been fine. What did happen to the creature?"
It was Bawuer's turn to shrug. "I do not know. After I injured it, it flew back towards the east." He smiled. "I was not about to call it back."
"I'm sure," Boromir replied in a dry tone.
"As for returning you back to civilization," Bawuer continued, "I cannot see how you can call this place such. You must forgive me for not setting you up in better quarters."
Boromir waved the apology away. "I am fine where I am. I cannot thank you and your family enough for your hospitality."
Bawuer smiled awkwardly. "Well, though I may be forcing you in not so exceptional quarters, I'm pleased you were able to meet some of my family."
"You have a wonderful mother and sister. And I praise your mother's healing skills." Boromir's first impression of Bawuer's family had indeed been a very nice one. It was quite obvious where some of Bawuer's mannerisms came from. Faedwyn was a relatively small woman but appeared to make up for it with reserved authority. She also possessed something Boromir would fondly call 'spunk'. Yes, it was something which also could be said of Bawuer.
As for her looks, he had immediately liked Faedwyn's pleasant face. Her age may have taken away her youthful beauty but had instead left her with the sort of beauty given only to a mother's kind face. Old she did not look, however, for her hair was still golden with light traces of silvery gray. And though there were faint wrinkles around her eyes, they had only accented her eyes which exuded a loving patience.
Then there was Deluen.
Boromir had to admit that she was not what he had expected. Bawuer's description of them in their youth was that they had 'done everything together, their antics deemed wild and unseemly by all.' Yet she did not seem the wild and unseemly type. No, quite the opposite.
Quiet. Reserved. A lady in all respects. Boromir had read nothing in her looks or manners which could have meant otherwise. In fact, Boromir would have said the siblings were exact opposites.
That is, except for their appearances. Both had the blonde hair associated with the Rohirrim, and their eyes were the same color. As Boromir brought to his mind an image of Deluen's face, he could honestly say that the memory was quite favorable. She was the exact imitation of what Faedwyn would have looked like in her youth. A fair face, and one which could be looked upon with nothing but satisfaction.
But there was something not quite right, something Boromir couldn't put his finger on…
He shook the thought away and concentrated on what Bawuer was now saying. "I'm afraid I might have some bad news."
Furrowing his eyebrows, Boromir could only ask what was the matter.
"It seems that our arrival did not go as unnoticed as I believed." Bawuer then explained that he had chanced upon the Lady Eowyn of Rohan, and they had had an interesting conversation.
When the other finished speaking, Boromir sighed. "Well, it was to be expected, I suppose." Seeing that Bawuer was looking quite worried, he tried to lift his spirits. "Do not dwell on it, my friend. And do not try blaming yourself, for I shall not let you. Besides, I doubt very much that my identity should be found out."
"If someone should recognize you?"
"I doubt that I will move around too much in Dunharrow. Since you mentioned that I was injured, which was good thinking on your part, no one would be suspicious if I stayed in this tent until our departure."
Bawuer pursed his lips. "Lady Eowyn wishes us to dine with her."
"We shall conveniently forget that, won't we?" Observing that Bawuer appeared solemn, Boromir smirked. "Unless you wished to dine with her? You could go alone – "
Shrugging innocently, Bawuer interrupted, "She is a beautiful woman. Have you ever met her?"
"I have yet to have the pleasure."
Bawuer smiled. "And a pleasure it would be, I assure you."
"All right, I allow that we shall inform her when we decide to leave," Boromir said in mock defeat, though he had already decided it would be polite at least to do that. "At that time I shall meet her, then you may charm her for the few moments before we actually mount up and ride away. Agreed?"
"Agreed." Having appeared to have said all that he wished to say, Bawuer got up. "Well, I should let you rest."
"I doubt I can," Boromir replied honestly. He was starting to feel a slight tightening in his chest that was annoying him. Faedwyn had been right in saying that he would probably have to stay a while longer. He wished he could just go home…
"In either case, I am off," Bawuer said, walking towards the tent. "I need to warn my family that there might be soldiers asking about you and me. I need to tell them to be careful."
"About what would they ask about me or about you?" the Gondorian said lightly.
Strangely, his words had not received the response he would have guessed. Instead of Bawuer laughing it off, the Rohirrim had frozen at the entrance, then turned his head to look back. His brow was furrowed with thought, and Boromir could see some sort of indecision in his eyes.
After a moment, appearing to have come to some sort of decision, Bawuer turned back to once more sit next to Boromir. "I think that I should tell you a few things about myself," Bawuer said slowly. "And my family."
Boromir couldn't help but show the surprise on his face. This was an interesting turn of events, though not an unwelcome one. He had long ago begun to wonder about Bawuer and why the Rohirrim seemed so reluctant to speak of his family.
Maybe now he would get some answers.
"Maybe you would first like to know how I knew your true identity," Bawuer said slowly, as if picking his wording very carefully. "Well, you see, as a child I often would see you, so it's natural that I cannot really forget your face."
"You would see me often?" At first, Boromir couldn't really comprehend the meaning. "How…?" The only explanation was…
"Uh, yes. I was born and raised in Gondor. I'm actually not as Rohirrim as I appear."
Of all the things Bawuer could have said, this was not what Boromir would have expected, not in all of his thoughts and ideas. Bawuer, not as Rohirrim as he appeared? That would mean…
"Your father…" Boromir slowly spoke, motioning for Bawuer to finish the sentence, which the other did.
"In all actuality is one of your soldiers, last I heard stationed somewhere in North Ithilien."
Finally gaining some understanding, Boromir nodded his head. "Bawuer, son of Denuer. Denuer, a soldier of Gondor. And you…" Here Boromir paused in confusion.
Seeming to sense the Gondorian's feelings, Bawuer smiled without humor. "Yes, ironic is it not? That father and son should serve as soldiers in two different lands?"
Thinking about it for a moment, Boromir couldn't help but agree. "I admit I cannot recall it being done often."
"Shall I start at the beginning?"
"Please do."
Bawuer chewed his lip thoughtfully, looking as if he was trying to decide how to start. Boromir absently rubbed his chest, feeling a nervous tightening in his breath.
"My father met my mother when he came to Rohan," Bawuer began. "He was sent here specifically to buy some horses for soldiers in Gondor. They impulsively decided to get married, and when my father had to return to Gondor, my mother went with him."
Boromir flashed Bawuer a look. The way the other had said the word 'impulsively' to describe his parents' marriage had uncovered a trace of bitterness in his tone.
"Deluen and I were born, and for the first part of my childhood, we remained in Minas Tirith," Bawuer continued. "When I turned ten, my father was stationed in Ithilien to guard a small post, taking care of messengers between – "
"Yes, I know of these posts," Boromir said with a serious nod. "Not many are left attended; none of them had a good end."
Bawuer shrugged. "Our post was far enough not to receive much notice from the dark forces. My mother would often journey to Rohan, taking my sister with her. And… my father didn't seem to mind." Here Bawuer stopped and cleared his throat nervously.
The Gondorian got the feeling that he knew where this was heading. "I take it your parents didn't get along," he asked gently.
"You might say that," the Rohirrim soldier said with biting tone. "I remember they used to argue often. Who knows about what." He face softened suddenly as a wistful smile appeared on his face. "But they tried not to let my sister and I know. I can recall countless times I would enter a room in the middle of their argument, and they would suddenly become still. Then Mother would smile and change the subject."
Bawuer looked ruefully at Boromir. "But it is very hard for parents to hide anything from their children, isn't it?"
Boromir tried to smile but inwardly he was wincing. His situation as a child was quite the opposite from that of Bawuer's. The trouble was that his father never seemed to hide any of his feelings from his sons.
Taking Boromir's silence as a cue to resume his tale, Bawuer did so. "When I was fifteen, my sister became engaged to a Rohirrim soldier. My mother and I went to Rohan for the wedding, along with…" Bawuer stumbled for a moment before finishing with, "and… my father stayed in Gondor."
Curious as Bawuer's somewhat strange stumble over his words was, Boromir didn't comment.
"Three years after my sister was married, we received word that she was pregnant. My mother wanted to go to Rohan, but strangely enough, this caused even more arguments between my parents. Then one day, my mother suddenly told me to start packing up. We left my father for Rohan that very day."
Seemingly caught up in the memories, Bawuer's face took on a far-off expression. "When we arrived in the little Rohirrim village where Deluen and her husband were living, I was shocked to see the people's situation. An ever present fear hung over the atmosphere." Here Bawuer abruptly looked down at the ground. "The kind of fear those in Gondor held in their hearts secretly."
"The fear of attack?" Boromir asked softly.
Bawuer nodded his head. "I had grown up knowing of the threat of Mordor, and the darkness taken over our eastern borders. Yet it was then that I really learned that even from the west was there another threat. A threat that was just as real as the one I experienced in Ithilien.
"Well, to continue my story, my mother wrote my father as soon as we arrived. No reply came for so very long; longer than it would be even with the distance. Yet a reply finally did come. My mother read it then calmly announced to us that she would be staying in Rohan… indefinitely." Bawuer sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes. "Obviously my father had written to tell her not to come back."
There it was, finally, the truth. And Boromir could not have heard of anything more tragic. In a time where the fear and rumors of war would tear the people apart, Bawuer had to live through the painful ordeal of a broken home, the child of a broken marriage. And Boromir could clearly see in the other's eyes a mixture of anger, pain, and most of all… the shame.
"Bawuer, these things sometimes happen," Boromir said, trying to offer some comfort.
Bawuer laughed harshly without humor. "Yes, these things may happen. But not to my family. At least, that was how I felt when that letter arrived. So I did the only thing a brash and angry eighteen-year-old would do. I left on my own for Ithilien, thinking I could persuade my father to fix the situation."
Thinking about it, Boromir could indeed imagine Bawuer doing so. But from the look on his face, it must not have gone well.
"The first thing my father said when I got back was, 'You've come back, have you?'" Bawuer said bitterly. "As if he had done nothing wrong. He had sent my mother away, and he was trying to welcome me back with open arms." The Rohirrim soldier absently brushed back the hair out of his eyes. "All I can say was that our conversation went downhill from there. I barely stayed a few minutes before I quickly rode back to Rohan. And I've been here ever since."
Boromir tried to lay his hand on Bawuer's shoulder as a gesture of support, but he found the numbing sensation in his arm seemed a bit worse and he could hardly lift it. So instead he spoke, hoping to ease any of Bawuer's discomfort. "As I said, these things happen, especially in times of war. Fathers will send their families somewhere safe, away from any danger."
"I wish I could say that," Bawuer said seriously, though not unkindly. "When I returned to Rohan, I found that there had been a brutal skirmish in West Emnet. My mother's father was crippled in that battle, and my brother-in-law… lost his life."
Brother-in-law… Deluen's husband…Boromir shook his head sadly. Loss of life was the norm in war, but only when death hit someone's own family did it become so very real. For poor Deluen to suffer so much, for Bawuer's whole family to suffer so much…
Bawuer gave a smile which did not reach his eyes. "You see, I could hardly spread the word that my father had sent my mother to Rohan to be safe. Rohan wasn't safe. I mean,just a few years after that our village was evacuated and we had to move to Edoras."
"So what do you say instead?"
There was a pause. "I tell the truth, at least enough not receive pitying stares from others. I explain that my mother thought it best to stay with my sister and my grandfather. If I have to, I explain that my father is a soldier of Gondor, fighting to protect us from Mordor. As for me…" Bawuer shrugged. "As soon as I got back I became a soldier of Rohan. Thankfully, no one has tried to pry into my private affairs, and I do not offer too much background from my own side. To tell the truth, besides a very small number of people, you are of the few who know the whole story."
Apparently now finished with his tale, Bawuer peered at Boromir carefully, as if to gauge his reaction. All Boromir could do was sigh. "I'm very sorry."
"Don't be," Bawuer said casually. "There are a thousand other similar stories in both our lands."
Boromir had to admit that the fact was certainly true. Except in Bawuer's case, he saw an unusual amount of anger in the story. Mostly the Rohirrim soldier's anger towards his father. And as Boromir knew very well, the kind of anger which usually came from being hurt from someone you loved so very deeply…
The thought was cut off as Boromir inhaled sharply. What? His lungs painfully constricted and his breath froze in his throat. But the pain was quick to stop, and Boromir almost wondered if he had imagined it.
But the incident seemed not to have passed by unnoticed. "Are you all right?" Bawuer inquired with a worried voice.
"'Tis nothing," Boromir said, though mentally he wondered if he was indeed all right. Shaking away a sudden dread stealing over him, he changed the subject. "I'm honored you would think me a close enough friend to entrust to me your story."
Bawuer looked at Boromir him thoughtfully. "I guess that although I've only know you for a few days, I feel you are one of the few people who could understand my predicament. In the same way that the Gondorians feel that everyone else doesn't understand how much they've done to keep the forces of Mordor at bay, the Rohirrim feels that no one understands their own problems with Isengard and the Dunlendings. Yet you are Gondorian, and you've fought in the battle of Helm's Deep. I guess what I'm trying to say is… that you understand both sides."
In shame, Boromir looked away. Yes, what Bawuer said was true, he understood both sides well. But it was always not so. He remembered with some reluctance what he had spoken at the Council of Elrond, how he had shouted that for years Gondor had protected everyone else from the terror of Morgul. It was so obvious now that Rohan, too, had trouble of its own. Quietly he corrected Bawuer's words. "Now I understand both sides."
Bawuer sighed and got up. "I thank you for listening to my story. I just did not wish for you to hear it from some other person. You have been patient with me, waiting for me to come out and speak from my own side."
"I must say, I have been dying from curiosity," Boromir said to lighten the mood. "At least now I am satisfied not to have to interrogate my own riding companion for more information."
But his efforts seemed to be in vain as Bawuer frowned. "There is actually more to the story, yet I feel that now would not be a good time. You look like you need some rest, for you have become pale since I first came into the tent."
Boromir tried to smile but found the expression slow to surface, for he felt again the constricting pain in his chest. But instead of going away, he felt his breath leave him completely, this time with an uncontrollable bout of shivers. He coughed, but instead of his body automatically taking in more air, he was left suffocating for the lack of it.
"Boromir!"
He vaguely felt hands on his shoulders, and at that moment he realized that his whole body was going numb. Breathe, breathe! he frantically told himself, but his body refused to cooperate. Falling back, he wondered if this was indeed the End.
But as his head touched the ground, Boromir inhaled some vaguely familiar fragrance. He concentrated on the scent and found himself breathing, albeit raggedly. Opening his eyes which had been closed tightly, he saw with blurred vision the shallow bowl where the relaxing aroma was coming from.
Memory returned of where he'd smelled the scent. It was what had truly first awoken him after the encounter with the Ringwraith. He idly wondered what it was…
He was unexpectedly attacked with another fit of convulsions. Gasping for breath, he curled up on his side, wishing it would all just go away.
So numb…
Yet wishes performed no miracles, and all he could do was try to keep the rising nausea down. In the corner of his mind, he felt not only Bawuer's hands but a pair of other hands trying to hold him down.
So…. cold…
"It's all right, Lavlaisi," a soothing voice, which he recognized as Faedwyn's, whispered in his ear. "Just try to breathe. Relax…"
Before he gave in to the welcoming blanket of dark oblivion as he was attacked by another bout of spasms, Boromir knew that it would take more than the mysterious herbal aroma to wake him up. His last conscious thought was that he wished he could have seen the Tower of Ecthilion one last time…
Author's Note: Yes, I know. I'm so bad for leaving this in a cliffhanger! I hope to have the next chapter out as soon as possible but please be patient. SATs are coming up so I've gotta hit the books. I won't make any promises, but at the very latest I'll try to have the next chapter out by Christmas.
So, what do you think of Bawuer's past? I hope it comes out all right and doesn't sound too 'made-up' if you know what I mean. I just feel very much that the home was the basis of most life in Middle-earth. Family is to be honored and revered, and having such a thing broken up in Bawuer's life has him a bit shamed about it. Also he has lots of pent-up anger towards his father for 'causing' it all.
Also, thank you all for voting on which Ranger you like! Basically, it's a tie between Mablung, Damrod, and Elbaran. I still can't decide whose view to write some of the next chapters so keep voting who you'd like to read about! So far:
Mablung – The somewhat older-brother/father-figure type of Ranger. Keeps Damrod in line, watches over Faramir
Damrod – Though a dependable Ranger, he's the brightest one of the group, outspoken, and knows exactly how charming he can be. Loves to help give everyone, especially Mablung, 'gray hair'.
Elbaran – Somewhat moody and a loner by nature, along with Faramir he is one of the most book-learned man in the Ithilien Rangers. Notices everything, remembers everything.
Next Chapter: Well… depends what you guys want. I know I've neglected Haldir and Isilme for a while, but I've discovered that spreading out too much on too many characters may bog down the story a bit. So what will it be? Would you like to read a little bit about Haldir and Isilme? If so, tell me in a review. But in any case, the next chapter will have more of what's going on Ithilien! And just maybe… since we've left Boromir and Co. at such a cliffy, I might write a bit more on them.
Special Announcement: I have a beta-reader now! I would like all of you to know that my beta-reader, Lady Laurelin Ancalimon, has been fantastic and a great help to me! She is looking over my previous chapters and doing some 'tweaking' with my grammar, spelling, etc. In the next few weeks I'll be uploading the updated chapters on fanfiction. To let you know which chapters have been beta-read, the titles will be have 'apostrophes'. Thank you, Laurelin!
Replies to my "Family of Reviewers"
shie1dmaidenofrohan Hello there! Whoah, you're the first reviewers I've written to in such a long while! Sorry that you were disappointed that the Faramir section in the previous chapter ended the way it did. Don't worry, Faramir'll get to grill Frodo in the next chapter! Glad you're liking Faedwyn, hope your curiosity is somewhat satisfied now that most of Bawuer's past has been revealed! Boromir marry Deluen so that Eowyn can still marry Faramir… Cool idea, but the end is still a secret!
pipkinsweetgrass Hi there! As you've probably read in my special announcement, I have a beta-reader now! I'm so excited to have one and Laurelin has been fantastic! I'm flattered that you think I have so much talent. :$ Lately I haven't found much time to write but I'm not giving up on this story, no way! Hope you liked the newest development in my story!
Racetrack's Goil Hiya! I know, I took too much time to write this chapter. :P But you know how hard I've been studying and how busy I've been, right? (wink!) Sooooo… your theories about Bawuer's have been totally wrong! I gave a description of Deluen and Faedwyn in here, hope it gives you a clear image of what they look like. Still want to read more about Damrod? As for poor Boromir… sorry for giving him such a hard time. :P
Michaela90 Hee hee, sorry about making it a possibility that the 'healer' would be a love interest for Boromir. :P Yes, I did get a good chuckle out of that. Cool, you are/were in Mexico! Hope you are having/had a good vacation! That is soooo cool that you were in a play, I love being in plays (especially directing plays)! Oooh, a guy had a BIG crush on you? Hee hee, sorry, I couldn't help but chuckle. Hope its turned out all right! Hope you liked this new chapter!
freelance beatnik Glad you liked it that Boromir has met Bawuer's mom and sister! So, liking all my Rangers? I still can't decide who to write more about since they're all such cool characters. Hope you liked this new chapter!
KendraC Hello, how are you doing? It's certainly been a while, hasn't it? Glad you liked the whole 'gardener' exchange between Faramir and Sam. I love that line from the movie and knew I just had to put it my story. As for more about Deluen, as you read in this chapter, her husband was killed in West Emnet in battle. Poor Deluen… anyway, in chapter 29 I wrote just a bit about her kids. Deluen has a son and a daughter, though I didn't make it clear how old or any of the details. I'll be writing more about them later. Yes, a meeting between Bawuer and Faramir should be interesting come to think of it. Glad you found a job, hope it all works out for you! Sigh, I'm still in high school, and I gotta start worrying about getting into college. (grimace) SATs are looming over me… Anyway, hope you liked the newest development in the 'new life of Boromir!'
Kitsume (formerly orlandosgirl21) Hey there, cool name for your new account! Is it a nickname? It sounds a lot like 'Kitsune', which in Japanese means 'fox'. Anyway, thanks for all your wonderful reviews. You're right about Meg-a-millions, I didn't really get her/his review… (shrugs) Glad you're caught up with my story! I'm so sorry for not having updated in over a month. (bows head down in shame) But I hope this new chapter was worth it, I worked so hard on it! Wow, my story is your favorite in all of ? I'm so honored, I hope I continue to live up to your expectations!
Morwen Eleniel Thanks for the two reviews! Am so pleased that you loved the previous chapter so much! And you're right, all of the rangers are so totally cool, I really can't decide who I want to write about! At least everyone else seems to have trouble deciding who they like, too! Well, maybe I'll do what you suggest, write about ALL of them. Hee hee! So, what did you think of Bawuer's past, make any sense? Your theory was different but it was still an interesting one! Also, you're not the first one to think that Deluen is a great choice for Boromir, though I haven't made it a decisive thing or anything yet! I love keeping you all in suspense! Again, thanks for always reviewing, hope you liked chapter 36! P.S. yes, it's interesting there's another 'Morwen' writing me a review! Thanks for mentioning that it wasn't you or I would have been confused. :P Namarie!
Daughter of Olorin Hi! Thanks for reviewing! As for why Boromir doesn't seem to be pushing Bawuer any harder about the other's past. Well, in my idea, I think Boromir wants to have Bawuer come out to tell his story from his own side. He wants Bawuer to have trust in him instead of forcing him to tell. Does that make sense? You also think Deluen might be nice for Boromir? Anyway, yes, I thought Elbaran would be perfect to base as Charlie Sheen's Aramis. I agree, all musketeers are pretty cool… I think I'd better watch it again, too…
Kaye Thorn Hi, sorry for taking so long to update this story! As for your thoughts on the Ringwraith, I also think the same with you that the Ringwraith sent to Orthanc wasn't the Witch King. (shrugs) But of course, I could have made it the Witch-King. :P You're right about only the Kings could really use kingsfoil effectively. But doing some research, I read in "Return of the King" where Ioreth said that kingsfoil was used to sooth headaches. So, there is some power, but only the King can really use it to its full power. Thanks for your advice about finding a beta-reader, I've found a wonderful one! (well, actually, she was the one who sought me out.) So, you liked Bawuer's family? Hope you liked Bawuer's newly revealed past in this chapter! Hope you enjoy it!
Phoenix Golden Fire (formerly AAAClub) Hi there, thanks for the review! Cool name btw. Well, glad you're enjoying my story so much! It's such a great thing for an author to have such wonderful and faithful reviewers! Yokohama is just south of Tokyo, has some of the most tourist attractions in Japan including the biggest ferris wheel in Japan, the largest building in Japan, etc. It's really cool cause I live only 10 minutes away from Minatomirai, the whole place built on reclaimed land in Yokohama harbor with tons of shopping malls, attractions, movie theater, etc. Hope you liked this new chapter!
Chocolate Newt Thanks for your reviews, glad you're enjoying my story so much! Sorry, it's taking me so long to update, been so busy. :P Ha ha, want a bit more of Boromir and Deluen? Well, I might arrange that for later one! Hope you liked this new chapter!
AriannaMalfoy Hello there, thank you so much for reviewing! Sorry to have kept you waiting so much! :P Burning up with curiosity about Bawuer's past? Well, hope this chapter cleared up a lot of things! Oh, glad you liked the conversation between Boromir and the Ringwraith. :P Sounds strange but I had fun writing it. :P Hope you liked this new chapter, hopefully I'll get another chapter out soon!
iron-eyes24 Hiya, how're you doing? Hope all's well with you! Loved all my extra characters, huh? Deluen reminds you of you? Can't talk to guys? Hee hee, sounds a little bit like me, though I never get an opportunity to talk to guys in the first place. You like Damrod? Yeah, he's a bit of a cheeky Devil, isn't he… Put in 'I beg your miniscule pardon?' :P hee hee, interesting idea, I'll think about it! Though I can see Pippin or Merry saying that rather than Frodo or Sam, don't you think? Well, hope that all the mysteriousness surrounding Bawuer has been cleared up somewhat! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
sz2000 Hello, thanks for reviewing! Yes, I tend to like writing cliffhangers. :P Sorry bout that. Well, at least I've finally opened up about Bawuer's family, right? About the hobbits and Faramir's first meeting, I really wanted to use the book but try to put my own ideas into it. Glad you thought it worked out great. Wow, that is soooo cool about your getting David, Dom, and Billy's autographs! That must have been like so awesome! Ooh, you like Star Wars! Yep, Ewan McGregor as Obi-wan is the best! I really hope he's chosen to play the new James Bond, I bet Ewan could really play the part well! Anyway, hope you like this new chapter!
Lady Laffs-a-Lot Glad you liked the meeting between the hobbits and Farami! Yep, I wanted to keep it true to the books yet have my own little input in it. Enjoy this new chapter!
Aldariel Hello there, welcome to my 'family of reviewers', an affectionate name I've given any and all of my reviewers! Glad you're really enjoying my story. Wow, you read all 35 chapters in less than 24 hours?! :S Hee hee, that's the first time anyone has compared my fic to be just like Pringles… lol! Do you wanna know a secret? Well, Legolas used to be my favorite character in LOTR when FOTR first came out. :P Yes, it's true! But though I do still like Legolas, I now have a broader ranger of favorite characters in the movies. Especially Boromir, Faramir, Aragorn, and Pippin, since they are portrayed fantastically by wonderful (and good lookin'!) actors! Yup, Sean Bean is sooo cool in "Troy" as well as LOTR. I'm sooo like you, I'm such a sucker for European accents! Come to think of it, most of my favorite actors have accents… :P Well on your way to becoming a mega-fan of Sean Bean? Good for you! I'm so looking forward to Sean Bean in "National Treasure" now. Anyway, I hope you continue enjoying my story! I'll try to live up to your expectations!
Mirwen Sunrider/Elrondiel Thanks for writing a review! Yup, I like Liam Neeson, though I'm totally staying away from "Kinsey".. hmmm… :P But I really liked him as Qui-Gon and his acting was great in "K-19". Hope you liked this new chapter!
Atheniel Hello there, thanks so much for checking out my story and writing me a review! It's always a pleasure for an authoress to hear from her readers. More of a Frodo and Sam fan? Well, I'll have more of them in the next chapter! Your theory was really interesting about Bawuer, sorry it was actually different from what you thought! Hope it made sense, though… Yeah, I used quite a few lines from the book the encounter with Faramir and the hobbits. I know what you mean, Tolkien is the ultimate author, he writes it best! I only hope I'm living up to him in writing fanfiction on his books. :P I haven't given up on this story don't worry! I might take a while to update, but I'm not disappearing from ! Hope you enjoyed this new chapter!
CelticAngel18 Hi, thanks for reviewing! Glad the previous chapter lived up to your expectations! Now, it all depends if I can continue living up to your expectations…
Morwen Thanks for reviewing! Don't worry, I haven't disappeared permanently or anything like that! I'm still writing! lol, I loved your Shakespearean review, do you like Shakespeare? Cause I LOVE Shakespeare! Anyway, hope you liked the newest update to my story!
Aelimir Hello my good friend! It's been a while, hasn't it? Thanks for reviewing! Well, I had planned on waiting to write more till I've seen ROTK EE but decided it's been too long. :P I missed hearing from you and all my reviewers so here I am, updating my new chapter! Oh, liked my "Why Did They Do That" series? Thanks so much for reading them! Totally off the top of my head type of stories. Once in a while I like to write without thinking too much. :P Anyway, hope you liked this new chapter! More on Bawuer!
psycho elf Thank you so much for your reviews! Worried that I wasn't going to update my story? So sorry for not having updated in so long! I did have the chapter done, it was just I had to get it beta-read before I posted it. But I'm honored you think that my story is one of the few good Boromir stories out there! (gives a bow) Thank you again!