WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY REVIEW CHAPTER 5? You ingrates! I give you free entertainment and this is how you repay me? Well, fine! You can't read my story anymore! (Shoos away) Go on, go! Just hit the back button and go away right now!
(Pauses, reconsiders)
WAIT! I CHANGED MY MIND! Don't go! Please, I'm lonely! Just be sure to REVIEW this time! I promise, this chapter is good! I cracked up while writing it!
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Waddle Dee and Adeleine were sharing a hotel room. As night fell, both of them walked into the room, Adeleine pulled on a pair of pajamas, and they each climbed into one of the two huge, fluffy beds.
"'Night, Waddle Dee."
"'Night, Ad."
Both of them lay in silence for a long moment.
"Are you still awake, Waddle?"
"Yes."
Another few minutes.
"Still awake?"
"Yes."
A few more minutes.
"Still awake?"
"Yes."
This went on for about an hour.
"Still awake?"
"YES! BECAUSE YOU'RE KEEPING ME UP! And if you ask me one more time I'm gonna make you fall asleep, if you know what I mean!"
"Sorry! It's just. . . I dunno. . . I'm sleepy, but I just can't fall asleep. Something doesn't feel right."
Waddle Dee sat up. "It's okay. Actually. . . I kinda feel that way too. I can't fall asleep either."
Adeleine pondered this. "Maybe a few shots of tequila would help."
"Yeah! Wait. . . we're kids, Ad. Is that legal?"
"Hey, we're saving the universe, remember? We're above the law."
"I seem to recall you saying that exact same thing right before we sicced those rabid squirrels on that old guy. . . and then got arrested."
"Well, that was really more for entertainment value than saving the universe."
"What? You told me he was going into diabetic shock and that was the only thing that could save him!"
"Yeah, I lied. . . anyway, let's go."
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The door to Waddle Dee and Adeleine's room creaked open, and the two of them tiptoed out as quietly as they possibly could.
"Remember, Ad, people are sleeping," Waddle Dee whispered. "So don't make any noise."
"Got it."
The two of them walked ever so softly down the hall, making absolutely no sound. With Adeleine in the lead, they reached the end of the hallway, turned the corner. . .
. . . and bumped right into Dedede.
"AAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHH!" Adeleine screamed before the combined efforts of Waddle Dee and Dedede managed to shut her up.
"Sorry," she whispered. "You startled me. How come you're up?"
"Well. . . I. . . actually, I couldn't sleep," Dedede confessed.
"Really? You either?" said Waddle Dee. "We're having the same problem."
"But can't think of why," Adeleine continued. "So we thought maybe we'd figure it out if we went and improved our thinking and judgment with some alcohol."
"That sounds. . . logical."
So they all three walked into the little bar that happened to be located on their floor. Waddle Dee seemed especially anxious to get there, and Adeleine and Dedede quickly found out why. As the two of them grabbed a table, they noticed Waddle Dee rush up to the counter and hastily order something. He sat on one of the bar stools until the bartender slammed a big, frothy mug down next to him.
"Hey. . . ." Adeleine strained to see what was in the mug. "Is that root beer? Didn't he have enough of that today?"
"I think he had a bunch at the dance, too," said Dedede, raising an eyebrow.
"Hmm. . . this requires further investigation," Adeleine decided. She got up and walked over to where Waddle Dee was sitting and gulping down the mug.
"Uh. . . Waddle Dee. . .?"
"WHAT ADDICTION?" Waddle Dee screamed, hugging the mug tightly to his chest.
"Uh, I wasn't going to say anything about an addiction. But that does look suspiciously like what this is."
"I do not have an addiction!" Waddle Dee shot at her. "I can stop the injections whenever I want."
"Oh, my goodness. . . Waddle Dee, I think you need some professional help."
"Shut up! Jimmy told me you would say that."
Adeleine blinked. "Who's Jimmy?"
"This is Jimmy," said Waddle Dee, hugging his mug even closer. "He told me you would try to betray me like this. Jimmy is the only one I can trust. Isn't that right, Jimmy?" He started stroking the mug affectionately. "You're the only friend I have, Jimmy."
Adeleine's expression at this point can only be described as "O.o".
"Waddle Dee. . . I think you should put that thing down and come back to the table now."
"What's that, Jimmy? I should stab her in her sleep? The knives are next to the fridge?"
"Uh. . . I'll be right back," said Adeleine, running back to the table as quickly as was physically possible.
"What's the problem?" asked Dedede.
"He and his root beer are plotting to kill me," Adeleine replied in a dead serious tone of voice.
"Wow. You know, I kept telling you your crazy was going to rub off on him one day."
"Dedede! We have to get him away from there!"
"Okay, but how?"
As it turned out, neither of them had to come up with that idea. The bar also had a small karaoke stage off in a corner, and the bartender had just walked onto it, holding a microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm happy to announce that we have a very special musical guest tonight," he said. "She came here all the way from Earth, which, by the way, is another planet."
"Big deal. We're from another planet too," said Adeleine.
"Hey guys, what's going on over here?" asked Waddle Dee, walking over and holding "Jimmy".
"On her planet, she is famous as everyone's favorite obnoxious blonde teen celebrity."
"Wait. . . ." Waddle Dee's eyes bulged in horror. "This isn't who I think it is, is it?"
"Ladies and gentlemen. . . HILARY DUFF!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Waddle Dee screamed. "WHY, GOD, WHY?"
"Hey, guys!" said Hilary. "I got kicked off my home planet 'cause they finally found out that I suck. So I'm hoping to make a living here!"
The music started. "So whyyyyyy not, take a crazy chance? Whyyyyyy not, do a crazy dance?"
"Singing. . . too horrible. . . must end own life. . . ." Waddle Dee choked out.
"Can't you make her stop with that hammer of yours?" Adeleine pleaded Dedede, her hands over her ears.
"No! I can't just go beating people up like that! I'll be riddled with guilt for the rest of my life!"
"I'll give you ten bucks."
"Well, okay then. DIE, YOU FIEND!" Dedede screamed as he ran onto the stage and started smashing the evil actress/singer with his hammer until she stopped twitching.
"Uh. . . I think we're going to have to reschedule," said the bartender.
"Nice job, Dedede," said Adeleine. "Hey, where'd Waddle Dee go?"
"Oh, your little friend jumped out the window when she started singing," replied the bartender.
"WADDLE DEE! NOOOOOOOO!" Adeleine cried as she ran to the window and dived headfirst out the Waddle Dee-shaped hole after him.
"Ad! Wait! Come back!" Dedede shouted. He was a little smarter and, rather than jumping out the window, scrambled down the stairs and kicked the door of the hotel open, frantically looking around and expecting to find two dead people on the ground.
"Adeleine? Waddle – hey, wait a sec!"
Waddle Dee and Adeleine were sitting on the beach together, chatting casually and looking perfectly fine. Waddle Dee noticed Dedede and waved him over.
"Hey, Dedede! What took you?"
"Uh. . . didn't you guys get hurt?"
"Oh yeah," Waddle Dee assured him as Adeleine nodded fervently. "Really bad."
"Oh. . . okay, then."
"Guys? Is that you?" came a familiar voice. Everyone turned around. It was Kirby.
"Hi Kirby!" said Adeleine. "Fancy seeing you out here. What's up?"
"Well, I was just sitting over there and minding my own business when I noticed Waddle Dee was flying out of a tenth-story window. . . so I thought I should probably go check that out."
"I was kind of in a hurry to get out," Waddle Dee said apologetically.
"I'll say," said Adeleine. "You left your root beer."
"JIMMY! NOOOO! WAIT FOR ME!"
"Who's Jimmy?" Kirby and Dedede asked at the same time.
"I'll explain later," Adeleine replied, eager to change the subject. "But Kirby, what were you doing out here in the first place?"
"Let me guess -- you couldn't sleep," said Waddle Dee.
"Yeah, that's right. Couldn't you guys either?"
"Nope. And we've got no idea why."
"Well, I think I do," Kirby said as he walked over and sat down next to the others. "I was thinking about it, and, well. . . doesn't this place seem too nice?"
The other three all exchanged blank looks.
"You know. . . we're not used to this kind of luxury. I mean, we've all been traveling around for a while now,.and we don't exactly get a lot of stuff. It's all sleeping under the stars and eating whatever Adeleine manages to paint."
"Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about your swiss cake rolls, Ad," said Dedede. "They're not that great."
"That's 'cause you're supposed to take the wrapper off first," Adeleine informed him.
". . .Of course! It's so simple!" Dedede exclaimed as he smacked himself in the forehead.
"Anyway," Kirby went on impatiently, "we all came here 'cause we thought it was gonna be fun, but. . . it's just too much. We're so used to working for everything, landing in a fancy place like this just doesn't feel right."
"Ribbon obviously doesn't think so," said Waddle Dee, noting the absence of their leader.
"Yeah, where is your girlfriend, Kirby?" asked Adeleine.
"Ad! I thought we had already established that she's not my girlfriend!"
"Oh, come on, Kirby, we totally saw you dancing with her. And we saw you making out on top of the table where all the drinks were."
"What?"
"Wait. . . I may have made that last part up."
"I hope so," Waddle Dee said with a shudder.
Kirby sighed loudly. "Well, for your information, Ribbon isn't here because she already fell asleep."
"In one of those huge, overstuffed beds?" Waddle Dee remarked.
"That doesn't seem like her at all!" said Dedede. "I thought she hated fluffy softness!"
Kirby thought about that. "Well, I guess she is acting a little weird," he acknowledged. "But she's happy! She's relaxed! Isn't that what we wanted?"
"Yeah, but now we're not having fun," Adeleine pouted.
"And what happens the next time I get mistaken for something that people want to pummel?" Waddle Dee added.
"Oh, Waddle Dee, don't worry about that," said Kirby. "I'm sure it was just a one-time thing."
At that very moment, two clueless and probably drunk teenagers were wandering down the beach when they noticed Waddle Dee.
"Hey! Look at that awesome ball over there!" said one.
"Cool! MIDNIGHT BEACH VOLLEYBALL!" shouted the other.
"Oh, sh – " was all Waddle Dee got out before he was swept up in a rush of dozens of cheering teenagers appearing out of nowhere as they ran down the beach and started a very impromptu, very violent match.
"YIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIiiiiiIIIII!" Waddle Dee screamed as he was spiked back and forth.
Adeleine sighed. "I'll get the ice pack."
"Don't worry, guys. We've still got two days left here," said Kirby. "I'm sure things will get better."
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Chapter the next: Things get worse.