Gasp! It's. . . THE LAST CHAPTER! NO! But first, it's. . . THE ACKNOWLEDGMENTS!
First of all, I'd like to give a shout out to all my dawgs who reviewed this story, especially those who reviewed multiple times. Thanks for making my first-ever fan fiction such a success! (My goal was 25 reviews!) The award for most reviews given goes to. . . (drumroll) KirbyDjinn! Yay!
Since lots of people seemed to like it, I may even write a sequel. . . if I can come up with an idea. Any ideas?
In the meantime, my next dealy is going to be about Homestar Runner, so if anyone out there is an H-Star-R fan, go check it out.
That's all! Thanks again for reading my story, and enjoy the last chapter!
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"Well, that was a pretty weird adventure we just had," said Ribbon. With their relaxing weekend having abruptly come to a stop, the group had left the city to resume their quest and was now heading down a largely deserted dirt road that led through a grassy field.
"No kidding," Kirby agreed. "I'm just glad that it's all over with and that everybody's okay."
"Except I'm going into withdrawal," said Waddle Dee.
"I'm pretty much scarred for life from that whole aardvark thing," said Ribbon.
"I'm still obnoxious," said Adeleine.
"I still have that bullet in my arm," said Dedede, who then fainted from blood loss.
"Oh for crying out – Ad, paint him some smelling salts, would you?" said Ribbon. "And maybe a tourniquet while you're at it?"
Kirby just stood there and blinked. "Uh. . . well. . . okay, forget what I just said."
They had walked a little further when he spoke up again. "Soooo, guys, what do you suppose the moral of this story is?"
"There's a moral?" said Waddle Dee.
"Yeah, don't you think? I feel like we should have learned something from all this."
"Of course there's a moral," Ribbon said testily. "'Never, ever, ever listen to anyone besides Ribbon'!"
"I don't like that one," Kirby protested. "How about, 'If it costs more than twenty bucks it's probably not worth it'?"
"I personally like 'Street begging can be a surprisingly lucrative enterprise'," said Adeleine.
"Or maybe 'Always make sure your cocktail is really a cocktail'," said Dedede.
Waddle Dee stopped walking. "Guys, those don't make any sense! You have to think up a moral that will actually apply to real life! And besides. . . I know exactly what the moral of this story is."
"Really?" Kirby said as he and the others gathered excitedly around Waddle Dee. "What is it?"
"Hilary Duff sucks!"
Everyone groaned.
"Forget it. We're obviously all too stupid to interpret any kind of life lesson from this," Kirby grumbled.
"Well, that's not our fault!" Adeleine said defensively.
"Yeah! I blame the Internet," Dedede agreed. "And MTV."
"And just who are you calling stupid, anyway?" Ribbon snapped at Kirby. "As I recall, it wasn't my idea to go to that stupid hotel! If you guys hadn't insisted on 'relaxing' all weekend, none of this would have happened!"
"But Ribbon, if you hadn't been so harsh and belittling all the time, we wouldn't have wanted you to stay there in the first place!" Kirby shot back.
"So being too strict didn't work, and being too lax didn't work. . . ." Adeleine mused. "I guess the moral of this story is 'Moderation in all things'."
Everyone automatically turned to Ribbon to see her reaction to this, and to their surprise, she actually seemed to be considering it.
"Ad, as much as it stuns me to say this, you might actually be right," she said. "I mean, there's no way I'd ever be as lazy as you guys, but. . . I don't really enjoy being all strict like I am." She actually started looking a little timid as she continued to speak. "And to be honest, sometimes I wonder if it really does us any good at all."
Kirby's heart was thudding in excitement. "You really mean it?" he said, hardly daring to believe it. "So does that mean you'll lighten up a little from now on?"
"Maybe," Ribbon replied with a light smile.
"And you'll let us have fun sometimes?" asked Waddle Dee.
"Maybe."
"And you'll stop blaming us for everything?" asked Dedede.
"Maybe."
"And you'll start being nice to me?" asked Adeleine.
"Don't push it, kiddo."
"'Moderation in all things'. . . I really like that!" said Kirby. He had been smiling, but then the grin abruptly fell from his face. "I just can't believe Adeleine came up with that!"
"Seriously, Ad! That's gotta be the most sense you've made, like, ever!" Dedede said to her. "What gives?"
"I dunno. Maybe it's got something to do with this candy that Celia gave me before we left," said Adeleine, holding up a bottle marked Ritalin. "Wasn't that nice?"
"I'll tell you what else is nice," said Kirby. The look on his face suggested that he had something very exciting to tell the others, and he had been waiting for the perfect moment to relate the news. "Once the feds found out that the hotel was evil and stuff, not only did we not have to pay for any of the damage, but we got a complete refund."
"You don't mean. . . ." gasped Waddle Dee.
"I do! Check it out!" Kirby was positively beaming as he pulled out a check and showed it to the others. "All three hundred and fifty thousand dollars!"
Ribbon looked utterly bemused. "But Kirby. . . it only cost us thirty-five hundred dollars."
"Yes, well, I'm hoping we'll be in the next county before anyone figures that out."
"I don't believe it! I've never seen that much money in my whole life!" Waddle Dee cried ecstatically as he snatched it out of Kirby's hands and started examining it closely. Ribbon, Adeleine, and Dedede all crowded around him and gazed at it in awe.
Then Waddle Dee lifted his head back up. "But what are we going to do with all of it?"
"Hey! What's this 'we' I keep hearing?" Adeleine demanded. "Let's not forget who came up with all that money! Well. . . some of it, anyway! I think I should decide what we do with it."
"You're not just gonna hire Dedede to beat up more celebrities, are you?" Ribbon asked impatiently.
"In that case, you should probably save some money for when we lose the inevitable lawsuit," he said.
"What? What are you guys talking about? I'm not doing any of that stuff!" said Adeleine. "I got something else in mind."
-----
Waddle Dee was seated in one of the chairs that formed a circle around the room he was in, fidgeting anxiously. All the other chairs were also occupied, and one of the others in the room, a very well-to-do looking Kapar, suddenly turned his attention to Waddle Dee.
"Why don't you go next?"
"Uh. . . okay. . . . " Waddle Dee awkwardly pushed his chair out from underneath him and stood up. "Hi everybody. I'm Waddle Dee."
"Hi, Waddle Dee," chanted the rest of the group.
"And how long have you been drinking root beer, Waddle Dee?" asked the Kapar.
"Uh. . . let me think. . . about eighteen hours."
"Oh dear. Is that all?" The Kapar started scribbling something in his notebook. "This is a very quickly-onset addiction."
"WHAT? Is that what this is about?" Waddle Dee cried furiously. "Look, pal, no matter what my misinformed friend has told you, I do NOT have an addiction!"
"Oh, really? What were you planning on buying with that money that your misinformed friend spent on getting you into rehab instead?"
"A truck full of root beer. . . I mean, books for underprivileged children! What else?"
"Now, see, you've got three problems. You're addicted, you're in denial, and you suck at lying."
Adeleine and the others were watching all this through a window, and at that point, what they saw was Waddle Dee whipping out what he later referred to as his "mad kung fu action" on the Kapar.
"I didn't know arms could even bend that way," said Dedede.
"Shh," said the other three, watching the scene intently.
When it was over, Waddle Dee pushed the door open and walked into the room where his friends were waiting, dusting off his hands in a very businesslike way.
"Good news, guys. I'm cured!" he said.
"Geez, Waddle Dee, I didn't know you were so good at drop-kicking people out of windows like that," said Adeleine.
"Yeah, you pwned him pretty good," agreed Ribbon.
Dead silence. For a long moment everyone gawked at Ribbon in utter incredulity at what they had just heard, and then, as if on cue, all five of them burst out laughing at the same time. They started laughing so hard that finally they all slid to the floor, leaning against each other and almost crying in hysterics. And Ribbon laughed the hardest of all.
THE END!