Eat With Caution
by: Eyes-of-Pearl
Rating: K
Disclaimer: ER and A Walk to Remember (which includes the movie and its soundtrack) belongs to their respective owners.
Author's Note: AU. Some of you who have read "In This Life" ITF may be interested to know that I am beginning a new series entitled, "Diaries of Neela and Ray." The DNR Series will feature various one-shots or vignettes, that are part of the universe of ITF. Those who haven't read the story, I would advise you to do so. These spinoffs will be spoilerish but I don't think it is necessary for the understanding of this particular story.
To those who have read ITF, it was in Chapter 14, that Neela teased Ray about his lack of cooking skills. Her exact words were "Ray, you burnt the last three sets of toast that you made for breakfast ... There was another time when you tried cooking pasta and we ended up spending the entire night cleaning up spaghetti sauce and ordering pizza instead ..."
Synopsis: Ray can't cook, so how did he deal with Neela's swinging hormones and absurd food cravings during her pregnancy?
Eat With Caution
He could do a lot of things or at least pretended to a degree that he could pull it off in the end. There was one area where he would never claim superiority. Nope, he wouldn't even try. His roommate knew his weakness very well. It was pretty obvious after living with him for a week. She had teased him enough about it, but that was ok with him. He would stick to his electric guitars, while she worked the non-stick frying pan. But now, it came down to this and being the loving husband that he was, there was no pain-free way of getting out of it.
Four months into the pregnancy, it was hard to know what mood she was in. He had been lucky so far; he could deal with an emotional and hormonal Neela. Her food cravings had been rather subdue, nothing that he couldn't grab from the Jumbomart at the last minute. Lately, she had been obsessed with putting mustard and relish on practically everything. He shrugged and only handed the condiment bottles to her.
Tonight, she had looked at him with pleading mocha eyes, when she said, "Ray. I have the biggest craving for grill cheese sandwiches right now."
"What? Neela, it's like three o' clock in the morning. You can't have a craving right now."
"Who said I can't? Rayyyy. It's not my fault that my body decides to have a craving at three o' clock in the morning."
"Neela. The Jumbomart doesn't carry grill cheese sandwiches pre-made."
"Ray, it's not that hard. All you need is bread, cheese and oil. You have all of that in the kitchen."
"Neela. I can't cook, you know this. Why can't you make it and let me go back to bed?"
Of course, that was the wrong thing to say. Alarm bells rang in his mind. She looked about to burst into tears or kicked him out of the apartment, boxers and all. "Rayyyyy."
"Alright. I'm sorry. Hang on, alright. I'll make them for you." He leaned forward to peck her cheek before beating a hasty exit.
It really was an untimely hour to have a food craving, but he could nothing about hormones. Now, he needed all his energy for the task at hand. 'Alright, grill cheese sandwiches. I can do this. C'mon Barnett, you got a medical degree to your name, you can handle making sandwiches.'
He remembered what Neela just said. All he needed was bread, cheese and oil. At least, he knew where he could find those in the kitchen. Now with the ingredients in hand, he was at a loss. How much oil did he did? How many slices of cheese? Should he use white bread or whole wheat? Neela was all about eating right and had been raving about the benefits of 12 grain toast. Twitching the white bread with the whole wheat, he was nowhere closer to where he was before.
"Ray, what's taking you so long?" Neela's voice came from the bedroom.
He made a half attempt of grabbing pans and nearly breaking coffee cups. He made some noncommittal sound to avoid an answer.
'Maybe, I should cut off the crust first. Neela never bothers to eat them anyways.'
Two minutes later, he was still staring at the now-non-crusted toast, cheese and oil and no grill cheese sandwiches. He began to wonder why he didn't take a home economics class back in high school.
Glancing at the clock, he decided that his mind would probably function better under the influence of caffeine. So, while waiting for the water to boil, he decided on his next course of action. His fingers did the work for him, as he found himself dialing Abby's number.
A couple rings later, a very masculine voice answered. He sounded irritated, and sounded very much liked Luka. Before Ray could say anything, he caught the familiar but seductive voice of Abby, when she drawled, "Lukaaa, come back to beedddd."
Ray realized what and who he had just interrupted. Making himself a black coffee, he thought that he might take his chances with calling County General. He prayed that it wasn't Kerry answering the phone, or Morris for that matter. Poor kid couldn't make decent coffee (1). Ray at least, could boast that he knew how to work the coffee machine. 'I just can't make grilled cheese sandwiches at three o' clock in the morning.'
"County General. Jerry is speaking."
"Jerry! Thank goodness."
"Dr. Barnett? What's wrong? Is it Neela ... is she?"
"No. I mean yes . No, everything is fine with Neela."
"So..."
Suddenly, Ray seemed to lose his nerve. His original reasons for calling seemed ridiculous. He managed to cover his awkwardness by saying, "Um... I just forgot what time I was supposed to come in."
"Oh. Hang on, let me check."
After Jerry rambled on about his schedule shifts, Ray thought that the perfect opening to ask Jerry. "Okay thanks, Jerry. Hey, I'm just wondering ifyouknewhowtomakegrilledcheesesandwiches?"
"Uh, Dr. Barnett, you have to slow down."
Before Ray could repeat himself, the phone was replaced by the sound of Pratt's voice. "Yo, Barnett. Is that you?"
"Pratt. Listen."
"Is something wrong with Neela? You gotta speak up, man!"
"No, Neela is fine. I need a favour though."
"Alright, as long as it doesn't require me breaking any laws."
"I need to know how to make grilled cheese sandwiches."
He was met with silence. Ray thanked the good graces for the technologies of telephones. At least, he didn't have to endure Pratt's expression right now. "You're kidding, right?"
"Ah, no."
"A six year old could probably know how to do it. All you need is bread, cheese and oil. It's not that hard, you know."
"Well..."
"Don't tell me you're cooking? Last time, I checked first degree murder is still illegal."
"Funny, Pratt." Ray wasn't amused.
"Hey, you are the one who can't make grilled cheese sandwiches."
Ray was mortified. He could just see how the rumor mill was going to take this latest piece of gossip. Pratt decided to take pity on the resident. "Did Neela put you up to this? Listen, just put throw everything onto a pan. It is called grilled cheese, Barnett."
"Pratt, wait."
However, Pratt was quickly replaced by none other than Morris. "Hey Barnett, I hear that you needed some help in the kitchen."
'Oh great. Just what he needed, cooking advice from Morris.'
"Listen Morris, thanks for everything. I think I got it now. Ok, great, thanks. Bye." Ray took a deep breath and then, let out a sigh before hanging up the phone.
He realized that he was no where closed to where he was half an hour ago. The same ingredients stared back at him. Taking Pratt's only practical advice, he decided to just throw everything onto a pan.
Another half an hour later which included an entire pot of coffee, two loaves of bread, half a package of cheese slices, and five failed attempts in setting off the fire alarm, he made a barely-edible grill cheese sandwich. At least, it vaguely resembled something that had cheese in between two slices of bread.
Taking the finished product into the bedroom, he found that Neela was fast asleep. She was quickly aroused by the very distinct scent of burnt food and melted cheese. "Ray? What took you so long?"
"I had a bit of an emergency on the phone. It's a long story."
"Aw, and you actually cooked. I'm so proud of you, Ray!"
Taking a bite, she let out a quiet moan of pleasure. She quickly devoured the rest of the food before she said to him, "Now, I just have the biggest craving for ..."
Ray mentally smacked himself with a spatula, while trying to think of the best excuse to get of the situation without burning down the apartment or causing food poisoning.
The End
AN: Just a humourous story, thought you guys might enjoyed it. If anybody has read my other story, "Coffee Induced Purchase and Then Some," you will see the connection between Morris and the coffee. Anyways, don't forget to r/r.
Also, I have mentioned in my last story that I was writing a new Jane Austen fic. It's called Intentions and Insinuations which is now osted on Any JA fans who enjoyed Persuasion or Pride & Prejudice, please be sure to check it out.