Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Teen Titans, but Raven writes to me-nyah, nyah!
Shoutouts!
Darkest Midnight: Thank you so much for the lovely ego-boost, but I am not so much intelligent as I am a clever BS artist!
schizoandproud: Thanks! Nice to see you here. But tell me: why is it that you doubt my greatness? Surely you do not want my opinion?
Malcore Xan'thex: Wow! You are a Priest, too! That is sooo cool...but I am Jewish. The Jew-on-a-stick burns my eyes...(Calm down, folks-it's just a joke. Jesus is cool-just don't hang him on the wall like a trophy, okay?)
outlawarcher: Whew! Thanks for clearing that up. And thanks for reviewing!
gothic kid 13: Ummm...trying to be nice, here. Uhhh...I did get the letter-that was kind of the whole idea...
Wave Maker: Tanks! When I get back to Raven, I will try to work that in. (Although you realize she will kick my ass, don't you?)
Angel Vanilla: Thanks! Yes, you did get that right. You are absolutely correct, except that you did not carry that out far enough-anyone who does not think Raven is the best character is out of his'r mind!
Dove of Night: Dang! I was hoping no one would ask...but I must be truthful. The law firm of 'Dewey, Cheatum & Howe,' is a nearly-100 years old paronomasia. But since most here are too young to have seen that... Hey-Milton Berle is rumored to have stolen all his best jokes!
Terra Logan: Thanks! Yes, I am just setting up for more... And yes, that was a bit too obvious, but if I hid it better, I figured most would miss it entirely. 'Pweeze?' That is waaaaay too cute-my eyes burn! Yes-yes-yes I will do more! Just don't say that word again! (j/k)
Lost Inside: Thanks! But how did you get lost here? Just hit control/backspace...
Tamaranian Raven: Thanks! Yeah-lawyers...A lawyer steps out of his Corvette, and a passing car hits his door and takes it off. The lawyer screams 'my beautiful car!' A witness speaks kindly to the lawyer, 'I'm afraid that's not the worst-that car also took off your arm with you car door...' The lawyer looks down where his left arm should be, and screams 'Ahhh! My Rolex!'
wolf: ...thnk y...
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Dear Mr. Del Greco,
Is that your real name?
Uh, I guess I should say that (strikethrough)imsorry,(strikethrough) I hate you! if that will make you play nice. I suppose I may have been just a teeny-tiny-bit over-sensitive about your using my name in your stories. I'm going to kill you. But seriously, would it be too much to ask that you write stories with slightly different characters?
You have no idea what it is like trying to live with that idiot Beast boy since he started reading your stories. The little pervert thinks that we are 'destined' to be together. I think he imagines your stories to be true. Either that, or you have ignited a tiny spark of imagination in his mind, which has blossomed into a raging bonfire, probably due to all the Q-tips he loses while cleaning his ears. (You wondered what his head was full of?)
Worse yet, he is trying to write poetry. Love Poetry! Guess whom it's about? No-I'm going to make you WISH I had killed you! He has to ask me for help spelling and rhyming-sigh-and I still haven't been able to explain to his satisfaction why 'strange' doesn't rhyme with 'orange'...
Cyborg is having a great time with my 'predicament.' I can tell whenever he is reading one of your stories, because he giggles uncontrollably, suddenly stopping when he catches sight of me watching him. He stares at me ass a lot. I know where you live, you bastard! I feel like I am living with a big metal dog in heat. Could you maybe write a third chapter to 'Bittersweet,' and make it all a dream again? It couldn't possibly make things worse...
Robin has been very nice about the whole thing, and is very respectful of my feelings. Yeah-I'm laughing. What an idiot! He has been doing his best to ignore me. He tries to pretend he doesn't see me, even when I am sitting at the table right in front of him, as if that should make me feel better about myself. I suppose he thinks he is being considerate by not talking about it. Personally, I would be happier with him if he would just go ahead and say something crude, like 'what do I get for twenty bucks?' I know he's thinking it. Oh, that reminds me, in case you actually care, that is; I cannot 'read' minds. Don't go to sleep! ...You think you've had nightmares before? Muahahahaha! I am sensitive to powerful emotions, and sometimes get brief flashes of insight, but my abilities do not enable me to actually 'see' what someone is thinking, literally. I wish...
Oh yeah...Starfire... thanks a lot. As if the poor girl was not confused enough, trying to figure out what eyeless-boy's intentions are. She really loves him, although I can't for the life of me see why. But now, since see has seen 'Earth-romance,' (I use the term loosely,) as portrayed in your stories, she is trying hard to become a slut. She has taken to wearing even shorter skirts, and tighter (if, in fact, that is possible,) tops. Remember what I did to Doctor Light? Remember how he practically begged to be arrested when I 'offered' to take him to the endless abyss again? She asked me the other day what a bra is, and why one would choose to wear one, etc. Now she wants me to take her shopping for lingerie. Nice job, dude.
She flirts with 'friend Cyborg' constantly. That's another thing-she never addressed anyone with the adjective 'friend' added before his or her name, until she saw it in your writings, and decided it was 'cute.' Think I'm gonna hurl.
Oh yes-back to Cy...you do know how cruel that is, don't you? (Writing romances involving Cyborg.) To answer your question, Cyborg is a eunuch. Have a good laugh? Remeber Malchior? Would you like to join him in a good book? Heh-heh... Remember, my metal friend does have a bit of repressed hostility. I'm not sure you want to piss him off...although that would solve my problem, hee hee!
Wanna know what Starfire did the other day? She asked me out. On a date. Yeah, that kind of date. She tried to hold my hand. She tried to...sigh...never mind. She doesn't understand that, although it is not forbidden to love another woman on Earth, most of us prefer male companionship. All of a sudden, she finds me 'attractive,' and can't understand why I don't return the feeling. I will make you the new posterboy for Viagra Would you please write her into a story with Robin? Even if she has to rape 'Boy Scout.' The poor girl has no direction, now...
I will be nice if you will. Just try and see things from my point of view. If you want to write stories about the Teen Titans, at least make them accurate. I might even be persuaded to Grrrrrrr! provide you with some inside info.
Thank you Schmuck! for your kind attention,
Raven Your worst nightmare Roth
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Hee hee-this is easy! Please insert review here...(well, only if you want more...)