Hey-it's great to be back! For the curious among you, I was banned for a week, because I used a naughty word, which shall remain unnamed, (bitches) in my 'G' rated summary of 'Love & Loathing.' I thought that word, which I shall not mention, (bitches) since it was used as a verb, was not offensive...shows what I know! Even if the FF Admin.'s are too ignorant to deduce that I used that word, that I shall not name, (bitches) as a verb; what's so offensive about the plural form of 'female dog?' Vinnie

Here it is...I know you've been waiting for it...

Vinnie's Shoutouts!

Terra Shiori Logan: Naw-Artemisgirl is only scary the first time you meet her-if you live through it...Muahahahaha! Hey-check my bio page! You made 'Review of the Week!' Congrats!

Darkest Midnight: As usual, your review was deliriously delicious! I really enjoy when people point out their favorite line(s.) Rock on, and I LOVE that you put extra effort into writing your incredible reviews-don't ever stop! Nurple, hurtful, burple, slurple, pit bull, mandrel, landfill, handful...yeah, you're right. Nothing rhymes with 'purple.' Not any 'real' words, anyway...

Outlawarcher: Thanks for pointing out your favorite line-I appreciate when reviewers do that! As you will see, Raven is actually very understanding, and is dealing quite well...Oo

Angel Vanilla: Sorry you had to wait so long...not my fault. (Brain: Liar!) I won't say I love you, because I don't want to sound like a creepy perv...(Brain: Liar!) Thanks for not sending me to the city of fruits and nuts!

Vandagirl: Thank you! Thanks for the moral support! (BTW-Lesbianism also violates my religious beliefs-so let's just pretend this is fiction...oh yeah, it is!) That's how I deal with it...

Lost Inside: Ummm...yes? Are you gonna hurt me now? Sorry-another question-damn! But I love, love, love, baseball! Yankees rule, Red Sox drool! Idiots! Only the Red Sox would be 'proud' to call themselves 'a bunch of idiots!'

Dove of Night: Yeah? Hee-hee...Chauvinistic? Me? Only some lovey-dovey-named chick would say that...oops...are you gonna hurt me now? (In reality, I am very modern, and fair-minded. It just pisses me off when my woman-I mean-wife, doesn't have my dinner ready when I get home because she is 'busy' doing laundry, vacuuming, sewing, cleaning the car, and shining my shoes...)

Jimbo Jones: You're supposed to heap undeserved praise on the author before you ask a favor! Humph! I may do that, though. Thanks for the idea, and for reviewing!

Malcore Xan'thex: Bad nerd jokes? BAD NERD JOKES? WTF are you talking about? (Brain: Your jokes suck...) Oh...okay...Oo...sorry...I suck! I will never write again-you tell everyone why.

I think I forgot your name: Yes, I am truly shocked that you are deaf, and on a site for readers! I have a nephew who is blind, and it takes people a while to figure it out: he beats me at (regular) video games, rides a regular bicycle in the street, and won medals in skiing at Special Olympics. Hey-your name is great-I'm just having fun...but if you want a nickname...how about Dory? O.o 'The Gods Must Be Crazy' is a great movie! Thanks!

Tamarainian Raven: Thank you for saying I'm not a pervert, but my shrink disagrees! But hey-you got that right: it is a guy thing...(see Budweiser commercial...) And thank you for comparing me to Xaphrin! Good writer, regardless subject matter.

Duyt: Lazy? You? But you write reviews all the time! That takes some effort! Pass the ice cream, please...

Amanda: Thank you! But...does that mean you want to kick my ass, too?

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(...story follows...)

Dear Mr. Del Greco,

What the hell is going on? Am I hallucinating? The letter you wrote me read like a bad dream. You can't really be that idiotic, callous, and ignorant, can you? You sound like a chauvinist pig, flaunting your disregard for women. Are you also a rapper? Is it possible that you did not understand a thing I said (in addition to missing my little subliminal 'hints', apparently.)

Forget threats. Forget lawyers. Forget I am intelligent-besides being vengeful? This time, I will fight fire with fire. Hit you where it hurts.

I am going to start posting my own stories! Guess who is going to be the headliner of my fiction, hmmm?

Before you cough up a lung laughing at that, consider that I am an empath. That, and I have some friends who all sorts of ways to get the real dirt on people. I have lots of interesting information to work with.

Where should I begin? How about college? I know all about you and your roommate, and the rest of your waste-product-stoner-degenerate friends. The time in 1979 that you almost started a prairie fire. The time you and Brandon jumped on top of his car and mooned the whole dorm, told them all to 'fuck themselves,' and left, with the intent of starting a commune in Oregon? Funny stuff, dude!

Got some photos of you back then, too, 'cro-magnon man.' Nice hair. Yeah-I know what that refers to-of course. Cough / high school gym teacher / cough.

I know about your 'first time.' Holy crap! Talk about a snaggle tooth! What is that thing on her face? Dude-that's not even funny! How could you touch her? I bet you don't even tell your best friends about that, hee hee.

Does your wife know about your addiction to pornography? Or your obsession with overly-large breasts? Funny, you wouldn't guess, looking at her...

I know it's normal to have a crush on a teacher, but that old bag that taught chemistry? She reminds me of Carrot Top. Makes me shudder to think about it...

How about the time at the band festival? Yeah-the one where your mom got you off the bus and told all your friends that Mr. Geralds could 'shit in his hat,' if he didn't like it...?

You think that's bad enough? What if I come see you in person, and read your perverted mind for some really good stuff? Yeah-I lied...

Do I need to go on...? Thought so. So shut the hell up! Stop writing about me!

Lovingly, (Muahahahahaha!)

Raven Roth

P.S. I'll bet you've fantasized about my hand on your nads...how's it feel?

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Please continue writing your incredible, hilarious, much-appreciated, fabulous, incredible, inspiring, incredible, wondrous, marvelous, incredible, and certainly justifiable, reviews! If not for your reviews, I would not be here! Hey-you gotta give up something-I'm not gettin paid for this...