Here's the next Team MILF chapter, part two of three. As expected, people were really looking forward to this. Guess readers have to get their kicks somehow with the main story not being a harem.

Anyway, the next omake is gonna be either Zettai RWBY Teenagers or Project M.A.I.D.E.N. It'll depend on what comes to mind first. Also, for the poll I put up on what pairing you guys want me to write about next, Dragonslayer and Roboknight are currently tied. Guess it makes sense since they're the only two I haven't really written about and people really dug Jaune and Yang in the main story.

Yang Xiao Long was many things. A kickass fighter, an amazing party girl, the best big sis in the world, and (thanks to Raven) part chicken. She didn't like to think about that last part, but the rest of those she was totally cool with. While mom was the most amazing mom in the world, she still had to step up and help take care of Ruby since she was often so busy on missions.

That still applied even now. While mom was more present in their lives with that Salem chick dead, she was still pretty busy most days with classes, missions, and Maiden stuff. Surprise surprise, there were still Grimm and other assholes around even with the big bad shoved in a jar out to space, and everyone was all too eager to try and get the superpowered Magical Women on their side.

Eh, it was none of her business. Sure, there were a couple of Councilmen trying to cozy up to her to get at mom and Raven, but they were pretty easy to ignore. The worst was Cardin trying to do it with both her and Ruby for his dad, but they'd both shut that down real quick. That was probably the reason why he tried that stunt with the glue balloon. Fucking moron. Mom made him regret that pretty quick.

But back to her. Yang was a lot of things, and one of the biggest was stubborn. Mom always she was a hothead, a title she wore with pride most of the time. Sometimes it ended up backfiring on her, but she wouldn't be who she was now if she was the type to back down. It was the one good thing she took from Raven, if mom could be trusted, though she liked to think she got it from dad instead.

Cause right now she had to be really damn stubborn.

It all started one fateful weeked on Patch. There was a bit of downtime while the school prepared for the Vytal Festival and that allowed the small family some time go back home and spend some time with one another. Just the family...along with Jaune...and Cinder...and Raven. Yeah, the small cottage felt way more crap with double its usual occupants. Uncle Qrow would've been there too if he wasn't on another mission.

Yang woke up early that Saturday and trudged downstairs barefoot, hair messy and eyes drooping. Thanks to Cinder being here the two sisters had to share a room again. Oh well, it was better than sharing with her or Raven. Poor Jaune had to make do with the couch downstairs, though mom was pretty nice and offered to share her room with him. She must have thought of him as another one of her kids or something.

And the thought wasn't a bad one. Jaune was kind of a dork, but he really helped them out and even went out of his way to get her and Raven to talk. She was still a bitch and was basically a glorified egg donor, but at getting the chance to punch her in the face was nice. Who knows, if he played his cards right maybe she'd ask him out on a date. He was definitely better than most of the guys in their year.

The smelll of bacon in the air made her drool. Beacon had good food, but there was nothing like a home cooked meal. Through blurry eyes she saw four figures sitting at the dinner table and a head of blonde hair at the stove.

And then she made the first mistake.

Down the line she'd blame it on hunger pangs and exhaustion, but at the end of the day the sin had still been commited.

"Smells good, dad."

A painful and heavy silence settled over the room. It took a few seconds for her brain to catch up with her mouth and her face flushed. That was not, in fact, the deceased Taiyang Xiao Long at the stove returned as a zombie. Instead it was a very much alive Jaune Arc, who looked briefly surprised at the greeting before he saw the opportunity to pay her back for all the puns and teasing.

"No problem, kiddo. Get a plate."

Yang's face burned as she did just that and sat between mom and Ruby. Raven and Cinder were across from her, the former facepalming at her not-daughter's display. To her left and right, Ruby and mom had their own reactions with the former trying not to cringe while the latter giggled. Ugh, this sucked. At least Cinder was too miserable being part of an actual loving family to actual pay her any mind.

"He really does remind me of Tai," mom said airily.

"Ugh, mom, quit it!" Yang groaned. She was sleepy and said something stupid, so what? Everyone acted dumb sometimes.

"He's blonde and idiot, but he's nothing like Taiyang." Raven scoffed.

"I'm right here, you know," Jaune said, somehow not sounding offended at all.

"Could we please stop talking about this?" Yang pleaded.

"Yeah, let's not tease the kid too much." Jaune sat next to mom's right with a shit-eating grin. Asshole. She kicked him under the table and petul- er, very maturely dug into the breakfast.

That incident aside, it was actually kinda nice being with everyone here. Raven was still a bitch and Cinder could go suck an egg, but their fear of mom kept them well-behaved apart from a few grumbled comments from her 'big sister'.

And then she saw it.

Mom and Jaune were chatting when mom suddenly traced her right hand across his left arm. It was quick, and no one else on the table seemed to notice it, but Yang was no fool. People saw her looks and the way she fought and thought she was some kind of dumb blonde, but both mom and dad taught her well. And right now all she could focus on was how weird her mom was acting.

It wasn't weird for her to be nice - she didn't have a mean bone in her body - but Summer Rose was always clear about putting a certain distance with people. No matter how many students had crushes on her, she'd always make sure to keep physical contact to the absolute minimum and make it clear so there wouldn't be misunderstandings. And even if she did see him as another kid, there was something different in the way she acted compared to with her and Ruby. The last time Yang remembered her acting like that was around da-

Yang shook her head. Nope, nope, nope, she was not gonna go down that rabbit hole. She was just imagining things. Jaune was just the guy who tagged along with them, helped them take out the ultimate evil, was with her practically every day, and she cared enough about him to invite him to their home. There was no way mom could ever see him that way.

...

Right?

She left breakfast feeling worse off than when she started. At least Ruby and Zwei were there to take her mind off things. While the rest of the family - and she used that term very loosely when it came to Cinder and Raven - had gone off to do their own thing, the two sisters and the best pet in the world decided to just walk around the island. She kinda missed being back in nature after spending so much time in Beacon and Vale.

And then Ruby ruined it.

"So what do you think about mom and Jaune's thing?"

"Wh-What thing?" Yang asked, though at the back of her mind she already knew what her little sister was insinuating. And it made her want to scream.

Ruby rolled her eyes at her, "Come on, Yang, you're not dumb." Zwei tugged on his leash and led them down another path, "I know Jaune's kind of a dummy when it comes to this stuff, but you know that mom-"

"I don't wanna hear it!" Yang shouted, plugging her ears like the mature adult she very much was.

"Pretending it isn't real won't change things, Yang!" Ruby shouted, easily bypassing her ingenious attempt at sabotage, "The sooner you accept it, the better!"

"How are you fine with this?!" Yang shouted back. Then she unplugged her ears, realizing the futility of it, "Jaune's literally young enough to be her kid! He's two years older than us! He's younger than Cinder who, I remind you, mom adopted."

"I know." Ruby sighed. What happened to her innocent and naive little sister? "But you know what mom's like. If she says she's gonna do something then she's gonna do it. Ozpin told her that Salem couldn't be stopped and she went and did it. Dad told her he'd never love again after Raven left and she proved him wrong." A pause, "Also, Jaune did say that he liked older women..."

"I'm pretty sure he didn't mean old enough to be his freaking mom!" Yang covered her face with both hands and groaned. Was she seriously having this conversation right now? "Look, maybe we're just imagining things. Jaune's been really helpful and he was there when they stopped that Salem chick, so mom's probably just being super grateful and that's the only reason she's acting like this."

Ruby sighed again, "Alright, if you say so." A pause, "I'm gonna ask Jaune if he wants to play catch when we go back."

"What?!"

"That's what dads do, right? I dunno, my memories of dad are kinda fuzzy..."

"Why are you so okay with this?!"

"Mom gets what she wants, I figure it's better if I be happy for her." Ruby shrugged, "Besides, mom's...happy. Should we really complain?"

Yang paused, contemplating her sister's words. Jaune...made her happy? Then...should she accept it like Ruby did?

...

Heck no! This was weird! Weird, weird, weird! She was not gonna call a guy barely two years older than her dad!

She left Ruby without so much as a goodbye and stalked off to her favorite spot on the island. She needed to blow off some steam, "Ugh, stupid Jaune..." She tied her hair into a ponytail and got ready to do her usual exercise routine. Some good old fashioned sweating it out would do her some good. At least then she wouldn't think about Jaune and her mom, having, to use Weiss' term, relations.

An hour of hard exercise later and she felt a bit better. Yang put her hands on her knees and panted, sweat falling down in rivulets. Alright, now she was convinced that she was just imagining it. Rubes was either pulling a prank on her or she misread the situation like she did. There was no way that Summer Rose, Remnant's premier Huntress, would go after a guy half her age. It just didn't make sense.

Right, that was it. All just in her head.

With that thought, she returned to the house feeling better than she had all days. Her lungs burned and her legs felt heavy, but it was a good kind of pain. At least now she wasn't being delusional.

And then she heard it.

Lots of grunting and panting coming from the backyard, one male and one female. Yang's hand froze on the front door's knob and the rational part of her mind begged her to just go inside and ignore it. There was no way it was what she thought it was, so just go inside and pretend that she heard nothing. It would be better for her sanity.

So of course she walked around to look, cause, hey, the stupid part of her argued, how bad could it be?

It was worse.

It was so much worse!

Jaune and Raven were both on the ground, the latter pinning the former underneath her with both hands pressing his wrists above his head. Jaune struggled below her, trying to push her off with a burst of strength, but the woman refused to budge. What horrifed Yang the most was the look on her not-mom's face. Gone was the casual derision or the expression of someone who'd stepped on a dog turd. No, her mouth was curled up in a smile and she saw something she never wanted to see in Raven Branwen's eyes.

Hunger.

Yang did the only sensible thing.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

The two finally noticed they weren't alone and separated. Jaune stumbled up then fell flat on his ass while Raven stood and crossed her arms, glaring at her biological daughter as if she was the one who did something wrong.

"Y-Yang?" Jaune sputtered.

"What the fuck?!" Yang shouted again, "What the hell are you two doing?!"

"We-"

"Unarmed training, what does it look like?" Raven said, giving Yang a distinctly 'are you stupid?' look. She really wanted to punch her in the face, "Since Arc's barely competent with that sword of his, I figured he could do a bit better using those muscles he actually is." Oh yeah, she saw the way Raven was looking at those muscles. Yang shuddered. Oh Gods, she needed a drink.

"Hey, I was good enough to disarm you a couple weeks ago," Jaune protested as he stood up.

"Please, you just got lucky I was tired from beating down those thirty weaklings."

"Sounds like someone's making excuses. What was it you said before? A win's a win and a loss is a loss?"

The two continued to argue back and forth, seemingly forgetting Yang entirely. The blonde stumbled back and barely made it inside the house, resisting the urge to puke all the while. Oh Gods, this was worse than she thought. So not only did mom decide to be a cougar, but so did Raven. Aura kept people looking younger and made them live longer - hell, you couldn't tell Ozpin was fifty seven if not for his gray hair and Professor Goodwitch looked damn good for forty - but mom and Raven had kids! Kids practically the same age Jaune was!

She was in so much shock that she almost missed Cinder lying down on the couch till she sat right on top of her.

"Watch it!" Cinder growled, though even that warning sounded weak and forced.

"Yeah...sorry..." Yang sat at the couch that wasn't occupied by the moody brunette. She still hated Cinder, but right now her impotent glowers were oddly calming in a way, "What's wrong with you? Besides the usual, I mean."

"My one and only plan to escape this hell has just been foiled." Cinder sat up so they were side-by-side, "Emerald, the one person I thought I could trust, was supposed to help me leave. And then she met Summ-"

"What was that, sweetie?" mom asked, coming out of absolutely nowhere. If Yang wasn't in such a horrible mood she would've found Cinder practically jumping off like a scared cat hilarious.

"N-Nothing, mom!" Cinder squeaked.

"Hmm, if you say so." Mom gave her a half-lidded look, "Oh, by the way I decided to adopt your Emerald friend too. She was so happy that you two get to be sisters! Oh, aren't you excited?"

"O-Of course I am! Just jumping with joy!" Cinder said with an obviously forced grin.

"I knew you would! Oh, this family's just getting bigger and bigger."

And just like that she went up the stairs out of sight. Cinder let out a choked sob and collapsed back on the couch. Yang actually felt pity for her and patted her head, which the older woman was too depressed to actually fight off. So she had another new sister. If she didn't find out her not-mom and real mom were trying to get into Jaune's pants she might've actually dwelled on it.

"...Let's go get a drink," Yang said.

"...Sure."

Yang woke up next day at noon to a raging hangover. Ignoring the fact that she and Cinder were sharing a bed. She stumbled down the stairs, only managing to not fall flat on her face through sheer muscle memory, and desperately searched for any kind of relief. Mom didn't like her drinking but actually stocked up on the necessities so her eldest daughter didn't have to deal with a pounding migraine all day. Well, her and Qrow.

"Here." Jaune offered her a glass of water and the pills that promised relief. She was so relieved she didn't even question where the hell he came from or the fact that she was in an even worse state of undress than usual, her tankptop slipping past her shoulder and exposing a generous amount of cleavage. Hell, it would've been normal if his eyes even drifted downwards for just a second, but he kept looking at her face and only her face.

"Thanks..."

"Fun night?"

"You could say that..." Yang swallowed the pills and downed the glass of water in one gulp. The pounding headache lessened, "What about you?"

"Same. Ruby asked to play catch yesterday, then she wanted to play tag this morning. Kinda weird, but hey." Jaune shrugged and yesterday's worries came back in full force. A chill went down her spine and she gripped the glass so hard it was a miracle it didn't crack. Gods, how could she forget about yesterday's disaster? It was the whole reason she went out drinking in the first place!

And then she remembered something else.

"Why don't you just seduce him yourself?"

"...Seduce him?"

"Yeah. If you're so worried about Summer or Raven getting him, then use that sex appeal you keep bragging about and get him for yourself. If Arc chooses you then the two won't do anything...well, Raven might. Even I think she's kind of a bitch."

Cinder was a terrible person, but right now it was the only bit of sound advice she had. Yang gulped and straighted her posture as Jaune turned to leave. It was now or never.

"H-Hold up a second." Jaune turned only to blink in surprise at how close Yang suddenly was. The taller blonde was pushed against the wall as Yang leered up at him, "So...I didn't get a chance since we were so busy yesterday, but how how about we go out later tonight? Just the two of us? What do you say, big boy?" She circled a finger against his chest and batted her eyelashes.

...Alright, so maybe her stories about leaving a trail of broken hearts was a bit exagerrated. Truth be told she'd never actually had a serious relationship and she was never the one who had to initiate things. With her looks and personality, she did have her fair share of admirers, but it never really worked out. If they were nice then she let them down easy, and if they weren't they went down hard. Actually trying to wrangle a date out of someone was new to her.

And Jaune...pushed her off.

...

What?"

"Look, Yang, you're a really nice girl, but-"

"Don't say it." Oh Gods, she she knew what he was gonna say; she'd said the same words in the exact same tone before.

"Yeah..." Jaune scratched the back of his head, "Sorry."

"Just...why? Tell me that, at least?" It was less heartbreak and more genuine confusion. She was, not to too her own horn, an absolute catch, and he was letting her down easy. Even for a senior anyone would think he was being an idiot.

"It's just..." Jaune paused, trying to find the words, "I've been friends with Summer for two years now." She couldn't help but notice he completely ignored Raven, "And one of the things she loved talking about the most was you two. Her babies, he prides and joys..." He coughed, "And, uh, she might have shown me a lot of pictures." A pause, "Baby pictures, pictures when you were in grade school, that time you had braces and pigtails."

Yang stumbled back like she'd been hit.

"Yeah...so, whenever I thought about you two, it was always as 'Summer's kids'." His eyes widened, "I-I mean we're friends now, at least I like to think so, but...yeah, the idea of going on a date with another friend's kid - even if they're also my friend - is just...weird. I can't do it." He smiled apologetically, "So really, Yang, you're a great girl, but I don't think it's gonna work out. Sorry."

And then he left. Yang sunk to the floor on her hands and knees, unable to find the words. Was she...was she just kidzoned? Jaune, who was barely two years older than her, saw her as too much of her mom's kid to even consider the idea of dating her. It was worse than being friendzoned. She didn't know whether to scream or cry, so eventually she did both. The house was empty, so the only response she got was Cinder screaming for her to have her breakdown quieter.

But she refused to give up. Like she said before, Yang Xiao Long was stubborn.

If she couldn't get through to Jaune, then she had to get through to mom, convince her how...crazy this whole thing was. She'd do it on the last day before they went back to Vale. That way they'd all be together and she could put it all out in the open. Ruby was right about one thing; Jaune could be an idiot about this kind of thing. If she told him point blank what the two were trying to do while they were in the room then they couldn't deny it. And of course Jaune, like any sane person, would decide he really didn't want to be with someone old enough to be his mom.

Yang sat at the couch, her expression fierce. Everyone else paid her no mind and just talked to one another, waiting for the last person of their group to show up. Jaune was surprisingly late, saying that he had some business to take care off in the nearby village. Not a Huntsman thing, cause there was no way mom or Raven would give up the chance for some action even in what was supposed to be a vacation.

Then Jaune opened the door and somehow she knew all hope was lost. Because...because...

He got a haircut.

So what, you might think, it was just hair. Heck, if she was being honest the new cut looked pretty doofy. Sure his old style was messy, but this one made him looked like he glued spiked bananas to his hair. And yet she knew again that it was a harbinger of her doom.

Raven was the first to react. She stood up from her seat, Omen clattering to the ground. That was the first sign of the end times. The second was that her nose was bleeding, and even her desperate attempts to cover the lower half of her crimson face with both hands didn't help. Her breaths came out in ragged gasps the same hunger from before returned, looking him up and down before they stopped and lingered at his new haircut.

And then she mumbled an excuse and stumbled out, sword forgotten.

Mom wasn't much better. Her eyes turned as wide as dinner plates and her next cough came out far more choked than she intended. Summer Rose, the savior of Remnant, blushed and looked away, mumbling to herself. She could've sworn she made out how it wouldn't be proper to take him right then and there with her kids present.

Yang wanted to cry.

"Hey guys, what do you think of the new haircut?" Jaune grinned, the fucking idiot not realizing the effect he was having on everyone in the room over thirty.

"...You look like an idiot." Cinder scoffed.

"Don't listen to her, Jaune. I think you rather dashing." Mom beamed.

"R-Really?" Jaune looked hopeful. If he was a dog his tail would've been swinging happily.

"Of course you do. I'm sure Kali and Willow will think the same." Yang shuddered at that, "Now, why don't you finish packing so we can go back?"

"Alright, I'll be quick!" Jaune practically hopped up the stairs he was so happy.

A heavy silence settled over the room. Yang debated trying her pitch anyway, damn the haircut, when mom hummed, "Hmm...I wonder if he'll accept being Jaune Rose? Summer Arc just doesn't roll off the tongue." She suddenly stood, "I should go get Rae before she dies of blood loss. Be good, kids."

And then she was gone too. That was it. She'd lost. Whatever chances she had, that fucking haircut shot and buried. Yang got down on her hands and knees again, cursing the gods for being so cruel. Ruby let out sigh and patted her shoulder.

"There, there...I'm sure Jaune will play catch with you too."

Yang continued to cry.

Poor Yang. Oh well, with Jaune, Ruby and Blake constantly being the butt of jokes, it only seems fair she has her chance to be the butt monkey. Meanwhile, Ruby knows that Summer Rose will not be stopped and already accepts the inevitability that Jaune will be her new dad.

Oh, and Cinder continues to be bullied by Summer, but she pretty much deserves it.

Anyway, I came up with a few more omake ideas. Not sure when they'll come given the interest in Zettai and Project, so I guess we'll see.

1. Team YANDERE - For whatever reason, team RWBY has become obssessed with their sole male member. Team RWBY as yanderes are scary; team RWBY as yanderes with Maiden powers are fucking terrifying. Might also include bonus yandere Pyrrha and Nora going after their own partners. Mercury has never regretted having metal legs more than this day.

It also doesn't have to be all romance based. Blake could just want Jaune as her permanent dragalong to her continued shenanigans while Yang 'abandonments issues' Xiao Long is just obsessed with making sure no one ever leaves her.

2. Silverknight - Jaune and Mercury romance omake. That's it. Not sure if I should genderbend one or the other or just go full anime and make my first ever Yaoi chapter. Ironically enough, it's one of Jaune's most stable romances.

3. King and Queen - Ozpin, in a final gambit, tries to kill both himself and Salem using all the relics in order to free Remnant from them both. It doesn't work and he ends up stuck in Jaune's head...while Salem ends up stuck in another girl's head shortly before both go to Beacon. Shenanigans ensue as the two immortals try to convince their hosts to continue their eternal war, no matter how petty.

This one feels more like it could be its own fic than an omake. I'm also not sure who would be Salem's host. I'm tempted to use Weiss cause of a fic I read recently, but I'm already writing a White Knight story.