Hello. This is 'Brain.' Acke ran away screaming like a little girl...
'Brain's' Props:
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Lost Inside: You have insulted my vessel-you shall die.
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TamaranianRaven: Vin thanks you for your support. Continue to review or die.
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J.Zink: You are military-therefore we shall not insult you.
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TMoSkittles: You may fool idiot Vin, but you do not fool me. Your acronym should be TMoS, not TMOS. You shall die for making a fool of my vessel.
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Angel Vanilla: We do not to view pornographic pictures. Artful bikini shots are acceptable. Oh yes-Vin wishes me to send his thanks.
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Sue H: Vin is obsessed with Raven. I am merely fascinated with her world-dominating powers...muahahaha! Oops. We find your reviews to be most amusing. Do not discontinue them-or die. Vin says thank you. The confusion with Saint H was Vin's idea of a joke. He is not very funny. He is lucky to be able to remember his name without my help.
To those who did not review: you shall all die horrible deaths.
The story begins immediately following the two dashes that shouldfollow this sentence. FF Admin's shall all die.
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Dear friend Mr. Vincent Del Greco,
I am writing this letter to you because I am confused. I do not understand why my friends have been acting strangely since reading your stories about them.
I have read all of your stories, and I think they are wonderful! They are full of love and romance, which should make one feel nice-should it not? I am very flattered that you find me attractive (even though I blush when you talk about my naked body.)
I am given to understand that it is customary on Earth to write stories in which the characters engage in much sexual activity? I do not find this offensive, as on my planet it is quite common to have sex with strangers in order to properly introduce one's self, and to make a guest feel comfortable. I am different than most of my people, in that I am shy, and that is one reason I left Tamaran. As Princess, and especially as Queen (someday,) I would have to perform sex with many, many people as one of my official duties. I was so ashamed to be a freak.
Am I correct in assuming that on Earth, it is usual to claim to have much sex, while in reality being afraid to even talk to another person? Such as the way Cyborg and Beast Boy constantly brag about how many times they have 'made out,' but they run away whenever I wish to talk about the dating with them.
Robin will not even talk to me about us dating. He has explained to me how other people date, and Human mating rituals in some detail, but always referring to others. Whenever I try to apply my learning to our relationship he looks like he wants to run away 'screaming like a little girl,' as Cyborg puts it.
I am sorry. I seem to have removed the topic. I shall try to get back in line of thought.
Raven is angry with you because you wrote about her loving me. Why would she find that so upsetting? I find her most attractive, and would certainly return her feelings of love, if that pleased her. Does this mean that she does not like me, or maybe that she distrusts me?
And why would she be so mean to poor Beast Boy? He did not write the stories that she dislikes, and yet she seems sometimes to blame him for her own feelings of discomfort.
Is it possible that Raven is upset because she likes you, and has jealousies of the others in your stories? You should tell Raven if you love her, perhaps it will make things better.
It is all so confusing. I would be so grateful for any guidance you could provide!
Loving Trithlams,
Koriand'r of Tamaran, 'Starfire'
One more thing. Would you like a naked picture of me? I would be happy to send you one!
One more thing again. Beast Boy would like to know what rhymes with 'blue.'
Perhaps you could also explain to me why Cyborg looked at me writing this letter and fell on the floor laughing? And why Robin asked Cyborg why he was laughing, and Cyborg told him, and Robin looked ill, and ran away screaming like a little girl?
Thank you again, dear T'los Vincent,
Koriand'r of Tamaran-'Starfire'
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This is where you press the button and submit an amusing review. Or die. 'Brain'