Dark Nadeshiko: I know I haven't been updating this story in a while, but I'm back!

Enjoy!

There are times when even the most unlikely people do something completely out of character. It doesn't matter if you are a husband, boyfriend, brother, or friend, as long as you have that extra appendage between your legs, you have at one point wondered about, or dreaded, a member of the fairer sex when they are approaching their time of the month. All that have survived have hopefully learned to stand far away, in another country if possible, far, far away.

Now, we watch as our tour guides lead us through the stages of the premenstrual cycle.

Stage one-Grouchiness

"Ano, Osakada-chan," Kachirou called, "Could you please move? I can't see the board." He tried to look around his taller classmate's head.

"…are you calling me fat?" Tomoka asked, her eyes glittering with malicious intent,

"I-i-iie." Kachirou backed away slowly; everyone knows you should never ever refer to a girl as fat, big, or anything along those lines.

"Good. If you can't see the board, move to a different spot." She continued copying down her notes.

"B-b-but…"

"But?" Tomoka smiled eerily, "But what?"

"N-n-nothing!"

"Shouldn't you be copying down the notes?"

"H-h-hai!" Kachirou scrambled out of his chair and stumbled away as fast as his legs could carry him.

Sure, you might think that this is the normal level of crabbiness that Tomoka exhibits, but to those who are subjected to it everyday, (the freshman trio) they can tell that if they angered her today, she would find very creative ways to kill them using a mechanical pencil and a steel edged ruler.

"Ohayo Osakada-chan." Fuji smiled good-naturedly.

"Ohayo gozaimasu Fuji-sempai." Tomoka bowed hurriedly, "Why is sempai here so early in the morning?"

"Saaa...I would tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

"It was just a polite question, geez, you could have just said you felt like it for I cared." Tomoka fumed, rolling her eyes, "Jackass." She flounced away, flipping her hair for good measure.

Fuji wasn't accustomed to being surprised; in fact, he could count the number of times he had been on one hand. Nevertheless he stared open eyed and slack-jawed after the petite girl. "What was that about?"

As you can see, three to four days prior to the actually bleeding, girls tend to get offended at the slightest things. Your simple request for the time could trigger a verbal assault on your person. The freshmen trio has now learned that they would rather be late for practice and run laps rather than provoke any females in or near heat.

Stage Two- Bloating

"Arghh!" Miyu tossed a pair of jeans away in frustration, "Why don' these fit anymore?"

"Miyu!" Her brother, Yukimura Seiichi, called, "Hurry up!"

"I'm trying to find something to wear!" She yelled back. She, her brother, Sanada, Marui and Akaya were going to the mall to meet with the girls and see a movie or two.

"We're going to be late!" Yukimura stood in the doorway observing his little sister scurrying around in her undergarments. "Here put these on." He tossed her the first set of clothes he saw.

Miyu tossed on the t-shirt and cut-offs grumpily. "These look horrible 'nii-san."

"You look fine," Yukimura smiled reassuringly.

"I look fine; can't you ever say anything else? That's not an opinion! You always say the same thing no matter what I wear unless you think it's indecent! You can say I look bad you know!" She stomped out the door, "Men," She spat, "They're all the same."

"Seiichi, are you alright?" Sanada looked at his bewildered captain in concern.

"I wonder what's wrong with her." Marui muttered, popping his gum. "Get up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"Don't think I can't hear you!" Miyu screeched, scaring the hell outta them. "Come on Akaya, we're supposed to meet the others in ten minutes!" She dragged him to the station in a half hug, half headlock. He looked imploringly at his sempai-tachi, but they had wisely decided to keep their distance.

It's like the moment our period hits, we absorb all water we come in contact with and swell up. At once, clothing doesn't fit right, and we aren't comfortable in any situation unless it involves chocolate, a few female friends, and a nice violent movie. Any attempts to calm us with 'you look fine' will generate an intention to kill. (See Grouchiness)

Stage Three- Cramps

A week ago, Yoshiko and the rest of St. Rudolph and Orihime sat in the middle of an extremely boring assembly.

"Can you stop squirming?" Akazawa snapped at the tiny girl sitting beside him. "It's really annoying."

"Go screw yourself." She snarled back, "Or better yet, go screw the headmaster, his voice is really irritating."

"What's wrong Leona?" Yoshiko asked.

"Cramps." Yoshiko smiled in sympathy and gave her roommate a piece of candy she snagged off Mizuki.

"Cramps? Did you pull something during swim practice?" Yuuta asked like the sweet, caring gentleman that he was.

"Period cramps." Everyone but Yoshiko, who knew what it was like, Mizuki, who didn't care, and Yanagisawa, turned red at the ears.

"It can't be that bad." Yanagisawa scoffed, it's always him that's the idiot isn't it?

"Stab a hole in your stomach and force air into it through a tire pump if you wanna see how it feels like." Leona grumbled, "And if you want severe cramps, ask that guy from Seigaku to aim at your groin next time." Everyone winced collectively.

Every woman experiences some measure of discomfort during these horrendous times, but of course there are some exceptions. While most of us can ease it with pain-killers, a hot water bottle or a strong shot of tequila, some women have such nerve-racking pains that they are practically handicapped in pain.

Stage Four- Mood swings

Miyu, Tomoka, Sakuno, and An all stood around waiting for Yoshiko to come. All the Rikkai Dai boys had made their excuses and ran as soon as they saw the others. Kamio and Sakurai had stayed with An to watch the movie and protect her from any wandering male gazes under the strict order of her brother.

"What's wrong with you?" Kamio asked Sakuno offhandedly, who was grimacing in pain.

"Why do all men immediately assume that something is wrong?" Sakuno screeched, shredding all of Kamio's previous notions of her to minuscule pieces. "You wanna know what's wrong? I'm bleeding and cramping because you men are too lazy to birth your own children!" Kamio edged away slowly, turning to find that Sakurai had already fled for safety.

"Sorry I'm late everyone!" Yoshiko bowed, "Hope you haven't been waiting for long!"

"Of course not!" Sakuno chirped, "Konnichiwa Hyotei-san." All eight Hyotei regulars had come with Yoshiko. "Are you going to watch the movie with us?"

"I've never been inside a public cinema before ne Kaba-" Atobe commented.

"Than let's get going already!" An cut in, she pointed to the counter, "Go and buy your tickets, we'll wait here."

"What's wrong with you?" Gakuto asked, "On your rag or something?" An kicked him hard in the shins and flounced off.

"Itai!" Gakuto cursed, "What was that for?"

Yoshiko flicked him gently, "Unless you're able to conceive children, I'd advise you not to use nicknames we women give to our period."

Otori cautiously approached the still fuming An, "You want to find some seats now Tachibana-chan?" He held out a bag of chocolates.

"Fine, let's go." She forcefully dragged everyone into the darkened room, ignoring their protests.

The sudden increase of hormones injected into our system during our period causes us to switch back and forth from sweet, loving, virginal Mary's to homicidal, crazed, chainsaw serial killers in the time it take you to blink. In the span of five minutes, we can say anything along the lines of, 'I love you, GO SCREW YOURSELF, give a hug, LEAVE ME ALONE, how are you, GET ME CHOCOLATE!'

Any comments about our period are to be kept to yourself unless you want to be verbally assaulted, torn apart, and then thrown to the dogs. Always keep a bag of sweets (preferably chocolate) nearby, like a rabid dog; we can be calmed with treats. Do not attempt to ask 'what's wrong'; it'll only make us feel worse. And don't even bother tell us how 'wonderful' or 'God-given' our period is, we all know what a load of BS that is. It's bound to get you blown up ten ways into the next millennia.

Dark Nadeshiko: I'm willing to accept an ideas you might have about a topic, such as Valentine's Day, or first dates. Things like that, feel welcome to send them along with your reviews! --Hint hint--

I've recieved reviews about how this fic isn't so good. Any ideas on how I can improve? Or should I rewrite or just delete it?

Review!