Chapter 11
It was a normal day. (Déjà vu, anyone?) Well, at least normal for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After all, it is a school of magic. With all the secret passages, moving staircases, talking pictures, and trick steps, no day at Hogwarts was ever boring.
The fifth-year Gryffindors were in Defense against the Dark Arts class, all of them losing their minds. Harry decided he hated Umbridge more than he hated any other teacher. Even Lockhart couldn't match it. Nor Quirrel. Not even Crouch, if you could cont him. Even his utter hatred for Snape could not match his absolute and total loathing for this frog-faced servant of Hell. Harry's attention was abruptly brought back to the demon at the front of the room.
"Potter!" she barked. "What's with that nasty look on your face?" Harry realized all too late that he had not been able to keep the look of contempt from marring his features. "Ten points from Gryffindor!"
Luckily the bell rang at that moment, so only Harry heard Ron swear on his left.
"Ten points!" he exploded in the safety of the corridor. "For having a look on your face that said what everyone was thinking?"
Harry didn't say anything. He knew better than to complain. He glanced down at the scabs on the back of his hand, which were finally beginning to heal, thanks to the essence of murlap. Suddenly, Hermione screamed.
Harry quickly looked up and saw what had frightened her. Five people, four girls and a guy, wearing American-type muggle clothes, had randomly appeared directly in front of them. One of them fainted.
"Wait!" said one of the blondes in sudden anguish. "Where's Legolas?"
"It's okay, Jill," said the other blonde brightly, though she also seemed sad. "Look where we are! Hi, Harry! Hi, Hermione! Hi, Ron!"
No one was really surprised by the fact that she knew Harry's name, but they weren't quite sure how she had known the other two's names. Ron spontaneously decided he had finally become as famous as Harry.
"I'm famous! I'm famous! I'm famous!" he squealed in joy, sounding like Spongebob in the morning.
"Ron," said Hermione, "just because one random person knows your name, doesn't mean that you're suddenly famous. First of all, she knew my name, too." Ron gave her a look that plainly said just how disgusted he was with her. She ignored him and continued. "What I want to know is how they got here."
"It seemed to me," said Harry, "that they Apparated."
Hermione groaned. "How many timed do I have to tell you?" she said in an exasperated voice. "You can't Apparate or Disapparate on Hogwarts grounds?"
"Oh," said Harry. "Right. Then how did you get here?"
"We got hit by a magic cheesewheel that seems to transport people to random different universes," said the still-conscious brunette. "I'm Silk, by the way. This is Adrienne," she pointed to the crazy blonde, "Jill," she pointed to the depressed blonde, "Andy," she pointed to the guy, "and Katie," she finished, indicating the unconscious girl with her foot.
"Oookay..." said Harry. "Er, should we take her to the hospital wing or something?"
"Oh, she'll be fine," said Andy. "She's just lactose-intolerant." At that point, Katie woke up. She stood and blinked several times, observing her surroundings.
"No!" she wailed in anguish. "I hate this world! Why couldn't we just go to Middle-Earth?"
"What is she talking about?" asked Ron, looking as if he had just seen a spider.
"In our universe," Jill explained, "you're in a book series. I've read it about 50 times," she added.
"Wait, hold on, I'm in a book?" Ron stood with his mouth gaping open.
"Well, five actually," said Adrienne.
"Six if you count Magical Creatures and Where to Find Them," added Stephanie.
"And she plans to write at least two more," put in Andy.
Ron was in shock. "So I am famous!" he finally concluded.
"But only in their Universe," argued Hermione. "Not like Harry is here." They all stood there for a few seconds until Ron's stomach growled.
"Let's go to dinner," he said, trying to make things seem normal. (Any attempt of that at this point would be utterly futile.)
"Dinner sounds great," said Andy. "But we don't exactly fit in around here," he added, indicating his clothes.
"Oh, right. Well how are we going to fix that?"
"We could get some spare robes from the laundry," said Jill.
"How do you know that?" asked Harry in surprise.
"That's what you did in your second year when you took the Polyjuice Potion to turn into Crabbe and Goyle."
"How do you know about that?" asked Ron incredulously.
"It's all in the books," said Stephanie. "Here, let me show you." She took her backpack off and started to look through it.
"You've been carrying all five Harry Potter books around this whole time?" asked Katie, stunned.
"'Harry Potter books'?" repeated Harry in a dazed voice.
"That's what we call them," explained Adrienne. "How old are you, by the way?" She shot Stephanie a warning glance so she didn't show them anything they shouldn't see.
"Fifteen," said Harry, curious on how that mattered.
"Okay," said Jill, taking the 5th book from Stephi. She opened it to the front.
Harry read aloud: "'The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive.' Oh my god! This is about when Dudley and I got attacked, isn't it?"
"Yeah," said Adrienne, while Harry flipped ahead.
"Er, why is this such a big book if so many pages are blank?" asked Ron.
"What?" yelled the three HP-obsessed girls in horror, rushing forward and shoving the other three aside. A good deal of the book was indeed blank.
"But why? Why are the words gone?" moaned Adrienne.
"Wait a minute," said Stephanie. "Hermione, what month is it?"
"September, but I don't see—"
"That explains it. We're being interfered with. They aren't allowed to know what's going to happen, so the book doesn't go past what already occurred. If they knew what happens at the end..." she trailed off, not wanting to give anything away.
"Wait," said Harry, "you know what's going to happen to us?"
"Uh...yeah..." said Adrienne uncomfortably. "We know what'll happen to all of you until the end of this year."
"What's going to happen?" asked Ron excitedly.
"I know what's going to happen now," said Katie, causing everyone to look at her in surprise. "We're going to get some robes and go to dinner!"
They followed the passages up to Gryffindor Tower. Jill, Stephanie, and Adrienne were excited out of their minds to see all the magical things; Andy was vaguely interested, Katie was hoping she would pass out again.
"Mimbulus mimbletonia," said Hermione quickly before the Fat Lady could make a comment about their Muggle-dressed friends. "Come on!" said Hermione, trying to drag Adrienne up the staircase, acutely aware that Fred and George were watching them with interest. Fred sprang forward and grabbed Adrienne's free arm before they were three steps up.
"What's this now?" he asked pulling them back down. "Who are you, and why are you dressed in Muggle clothes?"
"I'm Adrienne, and I'm wearing Muggle clothes because I'm a Muggle, I think."
"You think you're a Muggle?" asked George.
"Well, I'm not quite sure."
"She's crazier than usual," whispered Katie to Andy.
"What else is new?"
Spontaneously, a random passing Joey rolled down the boys' staircase. "Hi, Adie!" he said. "Hi, Silk-a-Silk! Hi, Jill! Hi, Andy! Hi, Katie! Hi, Fred! Hi, George!" He did a double-take. "Whoa! Fred and George!" He accidentally stumbled into the fire at that point, but luckily he knocked a random jar of Floo powder into it and yelled out "Grimauld Place" so he disappeared.
"That was odd," said Harry slowly. "How did that kid get in the tower?"
"Who knows," said Ron. "Come on! I'm starving!"
Everyone went up and the visitors changed into Hogwarts apparel. Then they went down to dinner with Fred and George.
As they sat down at the Gryffindor table, they were introduced to those sitting nearby. Suddenly, Umbridge swooped down on them like a hawk on its prey.
"Who are you?" she said sharply. No one said anything. They didn't think she'd believe them about the cheesewheel. "Five points from Gryffindor!"
"For what?" asked Andy.
"For not answering! I will be talking to Professor Dumbledore about this!" She stormed off.
Hermione turned to explain and was surprised to see Adrienne and Jill positively shaking with suppressed rage. "What the...?" she said in amazement.
"Give me a weapon!" muttered Jill. "I don't care what! Silk where're those weapons we won?" Stephanie mutely handed over the bag she was carrying them in. Jill ripped the bad open and looked inside fervently. "What?" she said. "This is just a bag of sticks!" She picked one up and felt unnatural warmth creep into her fingers. "These aren't just ordinary sticks! They're wands!" She temporarily forgot her sudden blood lust and stared in awe at her new wand. Everyone took a wand and had the same experience.
"So I guess you aren't Muggles then, are you," said George, grinning in amazement.
"Great! Now I can go kill that hundin!" said Jill, getting up from the table.
"No!" said Hermione, stepping in front of her.
"Hermione," pleaded Ron, "you can't really say you'd be all that disappointed if Umbridge died!"
"Well, not exactly, but, still, you shouldn't just go around killing teachers!"
"Fine," said Jill. "I'll just wait until May."
"What makes you think I'll let you kill her in May?" asked Hermione skeptically.
"Because," said Adrienne darkly, "something will happen that even you will believe is a good enough reason to kill her."
"You sound like Trelawney!" complained Harry. "What next, going to predict someone's death?" he said hotly.
Jill and Adrienne looked at each other and tears came to their eyes. "Hold on," said Ron slowly, "someone is going to die, aren't they?" They remained silent. "Who?"
"Somebody," said Stephanie. Harry noticed that even she looked disturbed. "Somebody," she repeated, as if she was going to tell them, but Jill looked at her furiously so she stopped.
"Come on," said Fred with a winning grin. "You can tell us."
"No," said Andy, "we really can't."
And then Umbridge was back. "Excuse me," she said in a sugary-sweet voice. "I would like you," she indicated the five Americans, "to come with me."
Adrienne glanced at Harry, who nodded, before getting up to follow her. The others followed behind. Katie had to catch up to the group because she was mystified by one of the portraits and wouldn't stop poking it. Umbridge led them to a gargoyle. "Sugar Quill!" she almost shouted. "And you," she said with distaste of the Gryffindors, "will return to your common room immediately!" They all scampered as the gargoyle moved aside and then those remaining stepped onto the moving staircase, everyone looking around excitedly. At the top, Umbridge knocked on the door.
"Come in," came Dumbledore's voice. Umbridge opened the door and stepped inside. Dumbledore looked up from his desk in surprise. "Delores!" he said. "Is there a problem?" Then he noticed those behind her.
"Yes, there is a problem," she said in that same fake tone. "These children are not students of the school, yet I found them sitting at the Gryffindor table this evening. I was wondering if you knew anything about this." Adrienne noticed that a slight edge crept into her voice on "you".
Dumbledore quickly surveyed them. "I see. Excuse me Dolores, but I would like to speak with them privately for a moment."
"Professor Dumbledore!" The edge was definitely there now. "There is no reason you cannot say whatever needs to be said in front of me!"
"I apologize, Dolores, but I am afraid that if there is more than one of us, we will intimidate these children and they may not tell us the whole truth."
Umbridge realized that Dumbledore was right, though she became further infuriated. "Fine!" she spat. "But I expect you to tell me every word that is said here!" And with that she stormed out of the office. Dumbledore quickly put an Unperturbable Charm on the room.
Katie immediately took out her wand and began poking Dumbledore. "Adrienne!" she wailed. "Why won't he explode?"
"Maybe because you only have the powers of Parvati Patil, the fifth- year Gryffindor, except you don't know any spells," she replied.
Dumbledore interrupted. "Please stop trying to explode me," he said quietly. Katie stopped immediately, although she looked a bit disappointed. "I would like to know exactly who you are."
That wasn't exactly the best thing to say to this group. "My name's Adrienne Vollmer, but sometimes I think I'm Harry Potter, Lessa, Arwen Evenstar, Emmy, Chocolat Misu, Polgara, Elizabeth Swann, Madam Hisui, Judge Judy, Gollum, Lord Voldemort, Ruth, Agent Smilrond, Kalten, Dweia, Daeva, Ehlana, Mille (at this point Stephanie growled), the Orb of Aldur, Jack the Monkey, Ayla, the Great Earth Mother, Eleria, that-called-the-Vlagh, Koyuko, or a duck." (Note: This is Jessi's thought.)
Dumbledore looked startled. "Let me get this right: You believe that occasionally you become people such as Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort?"
Andy spoke up before Adrienne could say something completely convincing his alternate personality that the lot of them was completely insane. "It's just a game we play sometimes, but once in a while she takes it too far. I'm Andy Yunker, by the way, and when we play that game, I'm you, F'nor..." He went on to list all of the names he went by.
"My name is Stephanie Leger," said Stephanie (did I really need to say that she said that?), "but I like to go by Silk." She left it at that.
Jill went next. "The name my supposed 'parents' gave me is Jill Zewe. I also go by Fred Weasley, K'van, Legolas Greenleaf, Kahlua, Belgarion, the Voice of Prophecy, Kal Zakath of Mallorea, King Urgit of the Murgos, Taur Urgas, Yarblek, Prince Kheldar of Drasnia, Captain Jack Sparrow, Yaevgenni, Kou Urake, Anavel Gato, Sai Saici, Domon Kasshu, Riley O'Miley, Gene Starwind, Kenshin, Himura the Battosai, Shiro Amada, Terry Sanders Jr., Eledore Massis, Char Aznable, Yuri Kellamey, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Quatra Rabarba Winner, Trowa Barton, Mille (interrupted by Stephanie's hiss), Master, Guru, Messenger, Sparhawk..." (There's a lot more, but at this point I'm sick of writing them.)
"I'm just Katie Boehm."
"I see," said Dumbledore. "I will assume that you know who I am. But I must ask you: where you come from, are witches, and wizards, and everyone else involved in such matters, are we all considered to exist only inside the imagination?" Seeing their nodding heads, he continued, "Perhaps in the form of a 'fantasy novel'?" They nodded even more vehemently. He paused for a moment. "Have any of you ever heard of a Miss Joann Kathleen Rowling?"
At the sound of her name, Rowling stuck her head out of the door to an annex of the office. "Did you need something, Albus?" At this point, Stephanie, Jill, and Adrienne proceeded to lose their minds. Of course, this had already happened, but it's a figure of speech.
Dumbledore chuckled. "From your expressions," he said, "you obviously know Jo. I suppose you come from the other Earth dimension?" They nodded dazedly. "Jo, maybe you should explain to them how you got here."
Dumbledore turned to Rowling only to see her being attacked by a plastic spork. It was Katie, at it again. "Excuse me," said Rowling, "but why are you attacking me?"
"Because you brought Harry Potter into our world!" Katie screamed in outrage, using her spork even more violently.
At this point, Adrienne was extremely exasperated and becoming really sick of all the plastic silverware Katie had. Without thinking, she raised her wand (which contained a phoenix tail-feather, if anyone cares) and pointed it at Katie, saying in a loud, clear voice, "Accio spork!"
Katie stopped moving as her "weapon" flew out of her hand to Adrienne, who caught it, stunned. Everyone turned to stare at her in amazement. Dumbledore chuckled. "How remarkable. It seems that you will have the same powers that Harry Potter has. Would you mind producing a Patronus to confirm this?"
Adrienne raised her wand again. She brought the memory of when Orlando Bloom hugged her to the forefront of her mind, grinned, and proclaimed, "Expecto Patronum!" A silver stag erupted from her wand, galloped around the room, and disappeared when it came back to her.
"There," said Dumbledore, satisfied. "So, if my theory holds true, then Silk (Stephanie grinned at being referred to as such) should have powers equal to those of Miss Hermione Granger; Jill should have Mr. Fred Weasley's powers; Katie should have Miss Parvati Patil's; and Andy should have powers equal to my own."
"I am the most powerful wizard in the world!" declared Andy triumphantly.
"But it would probably help if you knew a few more spells," said Rowling pointedly. "For instance, do any of you know the spell to unlock doors?"
"Alohomora!" said Dumbledore, "but that is just a basic spell that even first years know. I think you all should join the fifth year Gryffindors, as that is whose power you most closely match. Adrienne, please follow Harry's schedule, Jill, you go with her—"
"Shouldn't I go with the seventh years, Professor? I mean, Fred Weasley is a seventh year."
"Yes, but you are all closer in age to fifth years. I believe that staying around too many seventh years would be an—er—unwholesome influence on you." Adrienne and Jill looked at each other and tried to keep a straight face. Of course, it didn't work. Dumbledore decided to ignore that and continued: "As I was saying, Adrienne, Jill, and Andy all go with Harry Potter—"
"Hold on," interrupted Andy. "I'm at the same level as you, why am I even going to classes?"
Dumbledore was becoming flustered. "You don't know any spells though! All the power in the world doesn't mean anything if you can't use it! Now, all of yo, except Silk, go with Harry Potter. Yes, I realize you have the talent of Parvati Patil," said Dumbledore before Katie even opened her mouth (she wasn't planning on it anyway), "but you seem to be completely clueless, so you should go with your friends. Besides, Miss Patil is in all of Mr. Potter's classes. Silk, you may choose whose schedule to follow, and may randomly pick who to go with to any given class. I just ask that you stay with either the others or Miss Hermione Granger. The girls will sleep in the fifth year Gryffindor girl dormitory, and Andy can stay with the boys. Do any of you have any questions?" They shook their heads. "Then you may all return to the Gryffindor common room."
"Er—Professor?" said Adrienne nervously.
"Yes?"
"I do have a few questions. First of all, what are we supposed to tell people who ask us why we're here? Like, teachers and students and stuff."
"Let's just say you're exchange students from Salem. That will also explain your accents."
"Hey!" cried Katie indignantly. "You're the ones with the British accents!"
"Ah, but I can tell all of you are from America. The Pittsburgh-area of southwestern Pennsylvania, if I am not mistaken."
"Yeah," said Andy. "But I—um—have a question, too. Do we have to do homework?"
"Only if you want to," he replied with a chuckle. "You will also be exempt from end-of-year exams and O.W.L.S., unless, of course, you want to take them."
"Hope we're not here that long," said Jill quietly.
"Don't you like it here?" asked Rowling curiously. "You seemed overly-excited originally."
"Well...yeah..." said Adrienne, "but certain things will happen that we really don't want to be around for."
"Like what?"
"Things..." said Adrienne hesitantly.
"Things that we would prefer not to talk about," said Stephanie hurriedly.
"Well, everything will eventually become clear, I suppose," said Dumbledore. "Oh, and one last thing: as far as house points ad things like that go, you will be part of Gryffindor House. You seem to have a peculiar affinity for them anyway. How many people know who you really are?"
"Just Ron, Harry, and Hermione," said Jill.
"But those twins might figure something out," added Katie. Dumbledore looked quizzically towards Adrienne.
"She means Fred and George Weasley," she explained.
"Oh, yes," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. "You may tell them, then, but no one else. And tell all of them they are not to say anything about this. And please try to avoid Professor Umbridge while you are with us. Is there anything else you would like to say before you go?" He looked at each one of them in turn. "Anything at all?"
"I do," said Andy. Adrienne was overcome with a feeling of dread. She had a nasty feeling she knew what he was going to say. "Is it rape if you like it?" Her fears confirmed, she walked right over to him and bitch- slapped him across the face. "What was that for?" he yelled in agony. "Professor Dumbledore, did you see that?"
"See what?" replied Dumbledore innocently. He obviously believed that Andy deserved what he got. "Professor Umbridge will be getting restless. I'll have to think of something to tell her. You should all return to Gryffindor Tower. I will have the house-elves add the additional beds ("Humph!" said Hermione). Good-bye."
As they hurried past Umbridge, they heard Dumbledore greet her. When they reached the corridor, Jill stopped. "How are we going to get back to the common room?"
Stephanie laughed. "You must have forgotten. You have the Guide with you."
Adrienne sighed and said, "I give up."
"You did that a long time ago," teased Stephanie. Adrienne smacked herself over the head in reply. They all followed "the Guide" along the same path Hermione had led them before. Surprisingly, they made it to the Fat Lady without getting lost even once.
"Er—what were those weird words Hermione said that made the portrait swing forward?" asked Andy.
"Mimbulus mimbletonia!" exclaimed Stephanie (who was becoming more Silk-like by the minute) happily. The portrait didn't open.
"Hey, the Fat Lady's not here," Adrienne noticed suddenly.
"Now what are we going to do?" whined Katie.
"I guess we'll just have to sit here and wait for someone to pass by," said Jill, plopping on the ground. Everyone followed her lead.
They waited for a while, and Adrienne was just about to suggest that they bang on the portrait in case some prefect came by and reported them, when who should open the portrait hole from the inside but...Oliver Wood? Katie immediately exploded. "Hey," he smiled at them. "What are you doing out here?"
"The Fat Lady's not here," explained Adrienne. Unlike the spork- wielder, Adrienne was unfazed by meeting only about the hundredth person that she had always wanted to meet. "But what are you doing here? You graduated two years ago. Why aren't you with the...the..."
"Oh, well, we're on break for the weekend," he looked rueful that such a terrible tragedy should occur, "so I thought I'd visit Hogwarts and..." he trailed off.
"And see how the Gryffindor team is doing without your guidance?" finished Fred, poking his grinning head through the portrait hole. "Here, why don't all of you come inside? It's almost after-hours."
"Well, I'd better be going—" said Oliver quickly, seeing a crazy look come onto Katie's face.
"Nonsense, Oliver, old boy," joked George, pulling him back inside. "It's Friday. You don't have to be back to the team until Monday. Stay for a while." Everyone was inside by now. Adrienne sat down on a couch and was joined by the twins. Oliver sat down on a love-seat and, to his great amusement, was followed by Katie, who was staring avidly at him. Everyone else just fell into whatever armchairs or couches they could find nearby.
"What did Professor Dumbledore say?" asked Ron, but Jill shook her head with a meaningful look at Ginny, who had just joined them. Everyone introduced themselves to Ginny, and Adrienne was going to do the same to Oliver, but as she turned towards him, she noticed that he was otherwise engaged with Katherine. Adrienne sighed in disgust and turned away to continue the conversation they had been having.
Eventually, everyone else went up to bed, and so did Ginny. Katie and Oliver were still busy with one another. Noting that Oliver probably wouldn't hear a word they said in his current state, Ron tried again: "So, what did Dumbledore say?"
"He said we can stay!" announced Adrienne excitedly. "And we're temporary members of Gryffindor House!"
"Excellent!" said Fred.
"Er—what are you going to tell everyone?" asked Hermione. "I mean, are you going to stick with the cheese story or what?"
"What do you mean, 'cheese story'?" exclaimed Adrienne in outrage. "Do you think that we'd lie to you? That's what really happened and that's what we told Dumbledore! He believed us, and that should be good enough for you!!!" She ended her tirade by glaring at each one of them in turn. They all looked frightened by her outburst. Even Oliver and Katie were staring at her in amazement.
"S-sorry," Hermione apologized meekly. "I, I d-didn't know that y- you were t-telling the truth when you told us that. I thought it was just some story Silk made up off the top of her head."
This statement was so funny that Adrienne fell back onto the couch laughing. When Fred asked what was so funny, she just laughed all the harder for their obliviousness. Jill and Stephi found it amusing, too, but Adrienne just lost control. She kept laughing for fully five minutes. Finally she wiped her leaking eyes and looked around at them.
"Er—did we miss something?" asked George, a smile dancing in his eyes.
"You'd have to understand Silk," answered Adrienne, still chuckling. Seeing them all shoot questioning glances at Stephanie, she expanded. "Her name isn't really Silk. (Here Stephanie looked overly disappointed.) It's just a nickname. It comes from other book series we like to read, the Belgariad and the Mallorean."
"Oh," said Oliver, trying to understand. "So, who is this Silk person?" Stephanie grinned broadly and opened her backpack. Adrienne rolled her eyes in disgust. Stephi pulled out a tall stack of papers and gave one of them to everyone who had not been hit by a cheesewheel (as far as we know). Adrienne looked over Fred's shoulder at it.
"Where in all the worlds did these come from?" she asked in shock, looking towards Stephanie.
"To tell you the truth (a very ironic statement), I don't exactly know. I just had a feeling they would be in there."
Hermione had finished reading the "Synopsis of Silk". "I think I understand now," she said, looking at Stephanie. "Anyway, back to the point—are you going to tell everyone the truth? People are going to want to know why you're here, not to mention that you'll have to explain those accents."
NOTE: For anyone who really cares, the contents of "Synopsis of Silk" can be found at Silk's website. For a synopsis of the synopsis, see page 27 of this story.
"What're yinz talking about?" exclaimed Andy. "You're the ones with the British accents!"
"At least their accents aren't completely obnoxious like Joey and Adam's!" put in Adrienne.
"Hey, I heard that!" proclaimed Adam Levine from a nearby portrait. He jumped out and ran over to them, gave Adrienne a Rylan hug, and then ran off into the distance screaming "Cheesegreens!"
NOTE: That entire sequence was really random. It may not make sense to anyone except myself, but I felt an urge to write it. No, I don't feel like explaining, because I can't. No, I don't know what distance he ran into or what in the world cheesegreens are. You'd have to be a member of the ULI to understand.
"How do all these people keep getting here?" burst out Harry. "And what are cheesegreens?"
"For your first question," said Katie, "they probably got hit with one of the cheesewheels."
"And for the second," interrupted Jill, "I never did get a straight answer from him on what those are supposed to be. Did you, Adie?"
"No."
"Probably just one of those random words he makes up," said Stephanie, clearly annoyed at his very existence.
"Back to the point—" began Hermione firmly.
"Was there ever a point?" teased Fred.
"There's never a point to anything," said Stephanie with a significant look at Adrienne.
"Anyway," yelled Hermione in exasperation, "what are you going to tell everyone?"
"We're supposed to say that we're exchange students from Salem," explained Jill, finally giving Hermione an answer.
"Ok," she replied simply. Everyone was glad to see that she was placated.
"Well," said Oliver, looking at his watch, "I'd probably better be going."
NOTE: One thing I've always wondered is why watches can work in Hogwarts while nothing else electric can. Somebody ask Rowling for me.
"You don't have to go yet!" wailed Katie, pulling him back towards her.
"Ya, I do. sorry, but my train leaves in less than an hour. I had a great time though." Then they were at it again. Fred made a gagging sound as Ron threw Hermione's Arithmancy book at Oliver's head. "Ow! Oh, well, bye then." And he climbed out of the portrait hole. Katie looked extremely put out.
"We'd all better go to bed," said Hermione. "It's past one."
They all suddenly felt very sleepy and everyone climbed their respective staircases.
Lying in bed that night, everyone had weird dreams. (Nothing out of the ordinary for them.)
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Andy dreamt that they visited many other worlds, including Spoolner. On Spoolner, he saw two nearly-naked women. What they were wearing was made of leather. When they beat up this giant beast, it turned into a naked guy.
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Jill continually dreamt of Legolas.
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Katie just kept making out with Will Turner in her dream. Then she got slapped by Elizabeth Swann.
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For once, Stephanie actually dreamed. She dreamt that she was fighting side-by-side with Silk. His blades were doing their deadly work, as were hers.
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Adrienne dreamt that she awoke on a deserted island, Jack Sparrow at her side. He seemed to be sleeping off a bit of rum. She ran around the island doing her happy dance. When she returned, he had woken up. Need I say more?
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Everyone one of them enjoyed that night way, WAY overly much.
It was a normal day. (Déjà vu, anyone?) Well, at least normal for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After all, it is a school of magic. With all the secret passages, moving staircases, talking pictures, and trick steps, no day at Hogwarts was ever boring.
The fifth-year Gryffindors were in Defense against the Dark Arts class, all of them losing their minds. Harry decided he hated Umbridge more than he hated any other teacher. Even Lockhart couldn't match it. Nor Quirrel. Not even Crouch, if you could cont him. Even his utter hatred for Snape could not match his absolute and total loathing for this frog-faced servant of Hell. Harry's attention was abruptly brought back to the demon at the front of the room.
"Potter!" she barked. "What's with that nasty look on your face?" Harry realized all too late that he had not been able to keep the look of contempt from marring his features. "Ten points from Gryffindor!"
Luckily the bell rang at that moment, so only Harry heard Ron swear on his left.
"Ten points!" he exploded in the safety of the corridor. "For having a look on your face that said what everyone was thinking?"
Harry didn't say anything. He knew better than to complain. He glanced down at the scabs on the back of his hand, which were finally beginning to heal, thanks to the essence of murlap. Suddenly, Hermione screamed.
Harry quickly looked up and saw what had frightened her. Five people, four girls and a guy, wearing American-type muggle clothes, had randomly appeared directly in front of them. One of them fainted.
"Wait!" said one of the blondes in sudden anguish. "Where's Legolas?"
"It's okay, Jill," said the other blonde brightly, though she also seemed sad. "Look where we are! Hi, Harry! Hi, Hermione! Hi, Ron!"
No one was really surprised by the fact that she knew Harry's name, but they weren't quite sure how she had known the other two's names. Ron spontaneously decided he had finally become as famous as Harry.
"I'm famous! I'm famous! I'm famous!" he squealed in joy, sounding like Spongebob in the morning.
"Ron," said Hermione, "just because one random person knows your name, doesn't mean that you're suddenly famous. First of all, she knew my name, too." Ron gave her a look that plainly said just how disgusted he was with her. She ignored him and continued. "What I want to know is how they got here."
"It seemed to me," said Harry, "that they Apparated."
Hermione groaned. "How many timed do I have to tell you?" she said in an exasperated voice. "You can't Apparate or Disapparate on Hogwarts grounds?"
"Oh," said Harry. "Right. Then how did you get here?"
"We got hit by a magic cheesewheel that seems to transport people to random different universes," said the still-conscious brunette. "I'm Silk, by the way. This is Adrienne," she pointed to the crazy blonde, "Jill," she pointed to the depressed blonde, "Andy," she pointed to the guy, "and Katie," she finished, indicating the unconscious girl with her foot.
"Oookay..." said Harry. "Er, should we take her to the hospital wing or something?"
"Oh, she'll be fine," said Andy. "She's just lactose-intolerant." At that point, Katie woke up. She stood and blinked several times, observing her surroundings.
"No!" she wailed in anguish. "I hate this world! Why couldn't we just go to Middle-Earth?"
"What is she talking about?" asked Ron, looking as if he had just seen a spider.
"In our universe," Jill explained, "you're in a book series. I've read it about 50 times," she added.
"Wait, hold on, I'm in a book?" Ron stood with his mouth gaping open.
"Well, five actually," said Adrienne.
"Six if you count Magical Creatures and Where to Find Them," added Stephanie.
"And she plans to write at least two more," put in Andy.
Ron was in shock. "So I am famous!" he finally concluded.
"But only in their Universe," argued Hermione. "Not like Harry is here." They all stood there for a few seconds until Ron's stomach growled.
"Let's go to dinner," he said, trying to make things seem normal. (Any attempt of that at this point would be utterly futile.)
"Dinner sounds great," said Andy. "But we don't exactly fit in around here," he added, indicating his clothes.
"Oh, right. Well how are we going to fix that?"
"We could get some spare robes from the laundry," said Jill.
"How do you know that?" asked Harry in surprise.
"That's what you did in your second year when you took the Polyjuice Potion to turn into Crabbe and Goyle."
"How do you know about that?" asked Ron incredulously.
"It's all in the books," said Stephanie. "Here, let me show you." She took her backpack off and started to look through it.
"You've been carrying all five Harry Potter books around this whole time?" asked Katie, stunned.
"'Harry Potter books'?" repeated Harry in a dazed voice.
"That's what we call them," explained Adrienne. "How old are you, by the way?" She shot Stephanie a warning glance so she didn't show them anything they shouldn't see.
"Fifteen," said Harry, curious on how that mattered.
"Okay," said Jill, taking the 5th book from Stephi. She opened it to the front.
Harry read aloud: "'The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive.' Oh my god! This is about when Dudley and I got attacked, isn't it?"
"Yeah," said Adrienne, while Harry flipped ahead.
"Er, why is this such a big book if so many pages are blank?" asked Ron.
"What?" yelled the three HP-obsessed girls in horror, rushing forward and shoving the other three aside. A good deal of the book was indeed blank.
"But why? Why are the words gone?" moaned Adrienne.
"Wait a minute," said Stephanie. "Hermione, what month is it?"
"September, but I don't see—"
"That explains it. We're being interfered with. They aren't allowed to know what's going to happen, so the book doesn't go past what already occurred. If they knew what happens at the end..." she trailed off, not wanting to give anything away.
"Wait," said Harry, "you know what's going to happen to us?"
"Uh...yeah..." said Adrienne uncomfortably. "We know what'll happen to all of you until the end of this year."
"What's going to happen?" asked Ron excitedly.
"I know what's going to happen now," said Katie, causing everyone to look at her in surprise. "We're going to get some robes and go to dinner!"
They followed the passages up to Gryffindor Tower. Jill, Stephanie, and Adrienne were excited out of their minds to see all the magical things; Andy was vaguely interested, Katie was hoping she would pass out again.
"Mimbulus mimbletonia," said Hermione quickly before the Fat Lady could make a comment about their Muggle-dressed friends. "Come on!" said Hermione, trying to drag Adrienne up the staircase, acutely aware that Fred and George were watching them with interest. Fred sprang forward and grabbed Adrienne's free arm before they were three steps up.
"What's this now?" he asked pulling them back down. "Who are you, and why are you dressed in Muggle clothes?"
"I'm Adrienne, and I'm wearing Muggle clothes because I'm a Muggle, I think."
"You think you're a Muggle?" asked George.
"Well, I'm not quite sure."
"She's crazier than usual," whispered Katie to Andy.
"What else is new?"
Spontaneously, a random passing Joey rolled down the boys' staircase. "Hi, Adie!" he said. "Hi, Silk-a-Silk! Hi, Jill! Hi, Andy! Hi, Katie! Hi, Fred! Hi, George!" He did a double-take. "Whoa! Fred and George!" He accidentally stumbled into the fire at that point, but luckily he knocked a random jar of Floo powder into it and yelled out "Grimauld Place" so he disappeared.
"That was odd," said Harry slowly. "How did that kid get in the tower?"
"Who knows," said Ron. "Come on! I'm starving!"
Everyone went up and the visitors changed into Hogwarts apparel. Then they went down to dinner with Fred and George.
As they sat down at the Gryffindor table, they were introduced to those sitting nearby. Suddenly, Umbridge swooped down on them like a hawk on its prey.
"Who are you?" she said sharply. No one said anything. They didn't think she'd believe them about the cheesewheel. "Five points from Gryffindor!"
"For what?" asked Andy.
"For not answering! I will be talking to Professor Dumbledore about this!" She stormed off.
Hermione turned to explain and was surprised to see Adrienne and Jill positively shaking with suppressed rage. "What the...?" she said in amazement.
"Give me a weapon!" muttered Jill. "I don't care what! Silk where're those weapons we won?" Stephanie mutely handed over the bag she was carrying them in. Jill ripped the bad open and looked inside fervently. "What?" she said. "This is just a bag of sticks!" She picked one up and felt unnatural warmth creep into her fingers. "These aren't just ordinary sticks! They're wands!" She temporarily forgot her sudden blood lust and stared in awe at her new wand. Everyone took a wand and had the same experience.
"So I guess you aren't Muggles then, are you," said George, grinning in amazement.
"Great! Now I can go kill that hundin!" said Jill, getting up from the table.
"No!" said Hermione, stepping in front of her.
"Hermione," pleaded Ron, "you can't really say you'd be all that disappointed if Umbridge died!"
"Well, not exactly, but, still, you shouldn't just go around killing teachers!"
"Fine," said Jill. "I'll just wait until May."
"What makes you think I'll let you kill her in May?" asked Hermione skeptically.
"Because," said Adrienne darkly, "something will happen that even you will believe is a good enough reason to kill her."
"You sound like Trelawney!" complained Harry. "What next, going to predict someone's death?" he said hotly.
Jill and Adrienne looked at each other and tears came to their eyes. "Hold on," said Ron slowly, "someone is going to die, aren't they?" They remained silent. "Who?"
"Somebody," said Stephanie. Harry noticed that even she looked disturbed. "Somebody," she repeated, as if she was going to tell them, but Jill looked at her furiously so she stopped.
"Come on," said Fred with a winning grin. "You can tell us."
"No," said Andy, "we really can't."
And then Umbridge was back. "Excuse me," she said in a sugary-sweet voice. "I would like you," she indicated the five Americans, "to come with me."
Adrienne glanced at Harry, who nodded, before getting up to follow her. The others followed behind. Katie had to catch up to the group because she was mystified by one of the portraits and wouldn't stop poking it. Umbridge led them to a gargoyle. "Sugar Quill!" she almost shouted. "And you," she said with distaste of the Gryffindors, "will return to your common room immediately!" They all scampered as the gargoyle moved aside and then those remaining stepped onto the moving staircase, everyone looking around excitedly. At the top, Umbridge knocked on the door.
"Come in," came Dumbledore's voice. Umbridge opened the door and stepped inside. Dumbledore looked up from his desk in surprise. "Delores!" he said. "Is there a problem?" Then he noticed those behind her.
"Yes, there is a problem," she said in that same fake tone. "These children are not students of the school, yet I found them sitting at the Gryffindor table this evening. I was wondering if you knew anything about this." Adrienne noticed that a slight edge crept into her voice on "you".
Dumbledore quickly surveyed them. "I see. Excuse me Dolores, but I would like to speak with them privately for a moment."
"Professor Dumbledore!" The edge was definitely there now. "There is no reason you cannot say whatever needs to be said in front of me!"
"I apologize, Dolores, but I am afraid that if there is more than one of us, we will intimidate these children and they may not tell us the whole truth."
Umbridge realized that Dumbledore was right, though she became further infuriated. "Fine!" she spat. "But I expect you to tell me every word that is said here!" And with that she stormed out of the office. Dumbledore quickly put an Unperturbable Charm on the room.
Katie immediately took out her wand and began poking Dumbledore. "Adrienne!" she wailed. "Why won't he explode?"
"Maybe because you only have the powers of Parvati Patil, the fifth- year Gryffindor, except you don't know any spells," she replied.
Dumbledore interrupted. "Please stop trying to explode me," he said quietly. Katie stopped immediately, although she looked a bit disappointed. "I would like to know exactly who you are."
That wasn't exactly the best thing to say to this group. "My name's Adrienne Vollmer, but sometimes I think I'm Harry Potter, Lessa, Arwen Evenstar, Emmy, Chocolat Misu, Polgara, Elizabeth Swann, Madam Hisui, Judge Judy, Gollum, Lord Voldemort, Ruth, Agent Smilrond, Kalten, Dweia, Daeva, Ehlana, Mille (at this point Stephanie growled), the Orb of Aldur, Jack the Monkey, Ayla, the Great Earth Mother, Eleria, that-called-the-Vlagh, Koyuko, or a duck." (Note: This is Jessi's thought.)
Dumbledore looked startled. "Let me get this right: You believe that occasionally you become people such as Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort?"
Andy spoke up before Adrienne could say something completely convincing his alternate personality that the lot of them was completely insane. "It's just a game we play sometimes, but once in a while she takes it too far. I'm Andy Yunker, by the way, and when we play that game, I'm you, F'nor..." He went on to list all of the names he went by.
"My name is Stephanie Leger," said Stephanie (did I really need to say that she said that?), "but I like to go by Silk." She left it at that.
Jill went next. "The name my supposed 'parents' gave me is Jill Zewe. I also go by Fred Weasley, K'van, Legolas Greenleaf, Kahlua, Belgarion, the Voice of Prophecy, Kal Zakath of Mallorea, King Urgit of the Murgos, Taur Urgas, Yarblek, Prince Kheldar of Drasnia, Captain Jack Sparrow, Yaevgenni, Kou Urake, Anavel Gato, Sai Saici, Domon Kasshu, Riley O'Miley, Gene Starwind, Kenshin, Himura the Battosai, Shiro Amada, Terry Sanders Jr., Eledore Massis, Char Aznable, Yuri Kellamey, Heero Yuy, Duo Maxwell, Chang Wufei, Quatra Rabarba Winner, Trowa Barton, Mille (interrupted by Stephanie's hiss), Master, Guru, Messenger, Sparhawk..." (There's a lot more, but at this point I'm sick of writing them.)
"I'm just Katie Boehm."
"I see," said Dumbledore. "I will assume that you know who I am. But I must ask you: where you come from, are witches, and wizards, and everyone else involved in such matters, are we all considered to exist only inside the imagination?" Seeing their nodding heads, he continued, "Perhaps in the form of a 'fantasy novel'?" They nodded even more vehemently. He paused for a moment. "Have any of you ever heard of a Miss Joann Kathleen Rowling?"
At the sound of her name, Rowling stuck her head out of the door to an annex of the office. "Did you need something, Albus?" At this point, Stephanie, Jill, and Adrienne proceeded to lose their minds. Of course, this had already happened, but it's a figure of speech.
Dumbledore chuckled. "From your expressions," he said, "you obviously know Jo. I suppose you come from the other Earth dimension?" They nodded dazedly. "Jo, maybe you should explain to them how you got here."
Dumbledore turned to Rowling only to see her being attacked by a plastic spork. It was Katie, at it again. "Excuse me," said Rowling, "but why are you attacking me?"
"Because you brought Harry Potter into our world!" Katie screamed in outrage, using her spork even more violently.
At this point, Adrienne was extremely exasperated and becoming really sick of all the plastic silverware Katie had. Without thinking, she raised her wand (which contained a phoenix tail-feather, if anyone cares) and pointed it at Katie, saying in a loud, clear voice, "Accio spork!"
Katie stopped moving as her "weapon" flew out of her hand to Adrienne, who caught it, stunned. Everyone turned to stare at her in amazement. Dumbledore chuckled. "How remarkable. It seems that you will have the same powers that Harry Potter has. Would you mind producing a Patronus to confirm this?"
Adrienne raised her wand again. She brought the memory of when Orlando Bloom hugged her to the forefront of her mind, grinned, and proclaimed, "Expecto Patronum!" A silver stag erupted from her wand, galloped around the room, and disappeared when it came back to her.
"There," said Dumbledore, satisfied. "So, if my theory holds true, then Silk (Stephanie grinned at being referred to as such) should have powers equal to those of Miss Hermione Granger; Jill should have Mr. Fred Weasley's powers; Katie should have Miss Parvati Patil's; and Andy should have powers equal to my own."
"I am the most powerful wizard in the world!" declared Andy triumphantly.
"But it would probably help if you knew a few more spells," said Rowling pointedly. "For instance, do any of you know the spell to unlock doors?"
"Alohomora!" said Dumbledore, "but that is just a basic spell that even first years know. I think you all should join the fifth year Gryffindors, as that is whose power you most closely match. Adrienne, please follow Harry's schedule, Jill, you go with her—"
"Shouldn't I go with the seventh years, Professor? I mean, Fred Weasley is a seventh year."
"Yes, but you are all closer in age to fifth years. I believe that staying around too many seventh years would be an—er—unwholesome influence on you." Adrienne and Jill looked at each other and tried to keep a straight face. Of course, it didn't work. Dumbledore decided to ignore that and continued: "As I was saying, Adrienne, Jill, and Andy all go with Harry Potter—"
"Hold on," interrupted Andy. "I'm at the same level as you, why am I even going to classes?"
Dumbledore was becoming flustered. "You don't know any spells though! All the power in the world doesn't mean anything if you can't use it! Now, all of yo, except Silk, go with Harry Potter. Yes, I realize you have the talent of Parvati Patil," said Dumbledore before Katie even opened her mouth (she wasn't planning on it anyway), "but you seem to be completely clueless, so you should go with your friends. Besides, Miss Patil is in all of Mr. Potter's classes. Silk, you may choose whose schedule to follow, and may randomly pick who to go with to any given class. I just ask that you stay with either the others or Miss Hermione Granger. The girls will sleep in the fifth year Gryffindor girl dormitory, and Andy can stay with the boys. Do any of you have any questions?" They shook their heads. "Then you may all return to the Gryffindor common room."
"Er—Professor?" said Adrienne nervously.
"Yes?"
"I do have a few questions. First of all, what are we supposed to tell people who ask us why we're here? Like, teachers and students and stuff."
"Let's just say you're exchange students from Salem. That will also explain your accents."
"Hey!" cried Katie indignantly. "You're the ones with the British accents!"
"Ah, but I can tell all of you are from America. The Pittsburgh-area of southwestern Pennsylvania, if I am not mistaken."
"Yeah," said Andy. "But I—um—have a question, too. Do we have to do homework?"
"Only if you want to," he replied with a chuckle. "You will also be exempt from end-of-year exams and O.W.L.S., unless, of course, you want to take them."
"Hope we're not here that long," said Jill quietly.
"Don't you like it here?" asked Rowling curiously. "You seemed overly-excited originally."
"Well...yeah..." said Adrienne, "but certain things will happen that we really don't want to be around for."
"Like what?"
"Things..." said Adrienne hesitantly.
"Things that we would prefer not to talk about," said Stephanie hurriedly.
"Well, everything will eventually become clear, I suppose," said Dumbledore. "Oh, and one last thing: as far as house points ad things like that go, you will be part of Gryffindor House. You seem to have a peculiar affinity for them anyway. How many people know who you really are?"
"Just Ron, Harry, and Hermione," said Jill.
"But those twins might figure something out," added Katie. Dumbledore looked quizzically towards Adrienne.
"She means Fred and George Weasley," she explained.
"Oh, yes," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. "You may tell them, then, but no one else. And tell all of them they are not to say anything about this. And please try to avoid Professor Umbridge while you are with us. Is there anything else you would like to say before you go?" He looked at each one of them in turn. "Anything at all?"
"I do," said Andy. Adrienne was overcome with a feeling of dread. She had a nasty feeling she knew what he was going to say. "Is it rape if you like it?" Her fears confirmed, she walked right over to him and bitch- slapped him across the face. "What was that for?" he yelled in agony. "Professor Dumbledore, did you see that?"
"See what?" replied Dumbledore innocently. He obviously believed that Andy deserved what he got. "Professor Umbridge will be getting restless. I'll have to think of something to tell her. You should all return to Gryffindor Tower. I will have the house-elves add the additional beds ("Humph!" said Hermione). Good-bye."
As they hurried past Umbridge, they heard Dumbledore greet her. When they reached the corridor, Jill stopped. "How are we going to get back to the common room?"
Stephanie laughed. "You must have forgotten. You have the Guide with you."
Adrienne sighed and said, "I give up."
"You did that a long time ago," teased Stephanie. Adrienne smacked herself over the head in reply. They all followed "the Guide" along the same path Hermione had led them before. Surprisingly, they made it to the Fat Lady without getting lost even once.
"Er—what were those weird words Hermione said that made the portrait swing forward?" asked Andy.
"Mimbulus mimbletonia!" exclaimed Stephanie (who was becoming more Silk-like by the minute) happily. The portrait didn't open.
"Hey, the Fat Lady's not here," Adrienne noticed suddenly.
"Now what are we going to do?" whined Katie.
"I guess we'll just have to sit here and wait for someone to pass by," said Jill, plopping on the ground. Everyone followed her lead.
They waited for a while, and Adrienne was just about to suggest that they bang on the portrait in case some prefect came by and reported them, when who should open the portrait hole from the inside but...Oliver Wood? Katie immediately exploded. "Hey," he smiled at them. "What are you doing out here?"
"The Fat Lady's not here," explained Adrienne. Unlike the spork- wielder, Adrienne was unfazed by meeting only about the hundredth person that she had always wanted to meet. "But what are you doing here? You graduated two years ago. Why aren't you with the...the..."
"Oh, well, we're on break for the weekend," he looked rueful that such a terrible tragedy should occur, "so I thought I'd visit Hogwarts and..." he trailed off.
"And see how the Gryffindor team is doing without your guidance?" finished Fred, poking his grinning head through the portrait hole. "Here, why don't all of you come inside? It's almost after-hours."
"Well, I'd better be going—" said Oliver quickly, seeing a crazy look come onto Katie's face.
"Nonsense, Oliver, old boy," joked George, pulling him back inside. "It's Friday. You don't have to be back to the team until Monday. Stay for a while." Everyone was inside by now. Adrienne sat down on a couch and was joined by the twins. Oliver sat down on a love-seat and, to his great amusement, was followed by Katie, who was staring avidly at him. Everyone else just fell into whatever armchairs or couches they could find nearby.
"What did Professor Dumbledore say?" asked Ron, but Jill shook her head with a meaningful look at Ginny, who had just joined them. Everyone introduced themselves to Ginny, and Adrienne was going to do the same to Oliver, but as she turned towards him, she noticed that he was otherwise engaged with Katherine. Adrienne sighed in disgust and turned away to continue the conversation they had been having.
Eventually, everyone else went up to bed, and so did Ginny. Katie and Oliver were still busy with one another. Noting that Oliver probably wouldn't hear a word they said in his current state, Ron tried again: "So, what did Dumbledore say?"
"He said we can stay!" announced Adrienne excitedly. "And we're temporary members of Gryffindor House!"
"Excellent!" said Fred.
"Er—what are you going to tell everyone?" asked Hermione. "I mean, are you going to stick with the cheese story or what?"
"What do you mean, 'cheese story'?" exclaimed Adrienne in outrage. "Do you think that we'd lie to you? That's what really happened and that's what we told Dumbledore! He believed us, and that should be good enough for you!!!" She ended her tirade by glaring at each one of them in turn. They all looked frightened by her outburst. Even Oliver and Katie were staring at her in amazement.
"S-sorry," Hermione apologized meekly. "I, I d-didn't know that y- you were t-telling the truth when you told us that. I thought it was just some story Silk made up off the top of her head."
This statement was so funny that Adrienne fell back onto the couch laughing. When Fred asked what was so funny, she just laughed all the harder for their obliviousness. Jill and Stephi found it amusing, too, but Adrienne just lost control. She kept laughing for fully five minutes. Finally she wiped her leaking eyes and looked around at them.
"Er—did we miss something?" asked George, a smile dancing in his eyes.
"You'd have to understand Silk," answered Adrienne, still chuckling. Seeing them all shoot questioning glances at Stephanie, she expanded. "Her name isn't really Silk. (Here Stephanie looked overly disappointed.) It's just a nickname. It comes from other book series we like to read, the Belgariad and the Mallorean."
"Oh," said Oliver, trying to understand. "So, who is this Silk person?" Stephanie grinned broadly and opened her backpack. Adrienne rolled her eyes in disgust. Stephi pulled out a tall stack of papers and gave one of them to everyone who had not been hit by a cheesewheel (as far as we know). Adrienne looked over Fred's shoulder at it.
"Where in all the worlds did these come from?" she asked in shock, looking towards Stephanie.
"To tell you the truth (a very ironic statement), I don't exactly know. I just had a feeling they would be in there."
Hermione had finished reading the "Synopsis of Silk". "I think I understand now," she said, looking at Stephanie. "Anyway, back to the point—are you going to tell everyone the truth? People are going to want to know why you're here, not to mention that you'll have to explain those accents."
NOTE: For anyone who really cares, the contents of "Synopsis of Silk" can be found at Silk's website. For a synopsis of the synopsis, see page 27 of this story.
"What're yinz talking about?" exclaimed Andy. "You're the ones with the British accents!"
"At least their accents aren't completely obnoxious like Joey and Adam's!" put in Adrienne.
"Hey, I heard that!" proclaimed Adam Levine from a nearby portrait. He jumped out and ran over to them, gave Adrienne a Rylan hug, and then ran off into the distance screaming "Cheesegreens!"
NOTE: That entire sequence was really random. It may not make sense to anyone except myself, but I felt an urge to write it. No, I don't feel like explaining, because I can't. No, I don't know what distance he ran into or what in the world cheesegreens are. You'd have to be a member of the ULI to understand.
"How do all these people keep getting here?" burst out Harry. "And what are cheesegreens?"
"For your first question," said Katie, "they probably got hit with one of the cheesewheels."
"And for the second," interrupted Jill, "I never did get a straight answer from him on what those are supposed to be. Did you, Adie?"
"No."
"Probably just one of those random words he makes up," said Stephanie, clearly annoyed at his very existence.
"Back to the point—" began Hermione firmly.
"Was there ever a point?" teased Fred.
"There's never a point to anything," said Stephanie with a significant look at Adrienne.
"Anyway," yelled Hermione in exasperation, "what are you going to tell everyone?"
"We're supposed to say that we're exchange students from Salem," explained Jill, finally giving Hermione an answer.
"Ok," she replied simply. Everyone was glad to see that she was placated.
"Well," said Oliver, looking at his watch, "I'd probably better be going."
NOTE: One thing I've always wondered is why watches can work in Hogwarts while nothing else electric can. Somebody ask Rowling for me.
"You don't have to go yet!" wailed Katie, pulling him back towards her.
"Ya, I do. sorry, but my train leaves in less than an hour. I had a great time though." Then they were at it again. Fred made a gagging sound as Ron threw Hermione's Arithmancy book at Oliver's head. "Ow! Oh, well, bye then." And he climbed out of the portrait hole. Katie looked extremely put out.
"We'd all better go to bed," said Hermione. "It's past one."
They all suddenly felt very sleepy and everyone climbed their respective staircases.
Lying in bed that night, everyone had weird dreams. (Nothing out of the ordinary for them.)
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Andy dreamt that they visited many other worlds, including Spoolner. On Spoolner, he saw two nearly-naked women. What they were wearing was made of leather. When they beat up this giant beast, it turned into a naked guy.
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Jill continually dreamt of Legolas.
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Katie just kept making out with Will Turner in her dream. Then she got slapped by Elizabeth Swann.
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For once, Stephanie actually dreamed. She dreamt that she was fighting side-by-side with Silk. His blades were doing their deadly work, as were hers.
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Adrienne dreamt that she awoke on a deserted island, Jack Sparrow at her side. He seemed to be sleeping off a bit of rum. She ran around the island doing her happy dance. When she returned, he had woken up. Need I say more?
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Everyone one of them enjoyed that night way, WAY overly much.