Edited by sublimatedangel.
He stood still, watching the car pull from the driveway, knowing that this would be his last glimpse of the beloved passenger. It had been years since death had taken love from his life, and now life was stealing away his last chance at having love again. Xander sighed as he moved back into the shadows of the mansion he had lived in for the last two years, knowing that he would die here alone. He understood that this was the price for not believing in a greater good anymore, but how could one believe in goodness when one was a demon?
Lowering himself into a well used chair, he thought upon his life since Sunnydale. He had gone to Africa only to be slain by a hungry demon, his life spared by a witch doctor that had wandered by and forced the demon's life force into Xander. At the time, he had been grateful; but then, he hadn't known how he had been saved. Later he would realize that he was no longer truly himself, but in truth a demon himself.
His friends had been understanding at first, but that understanding had gone out the door the moment they realized that the demon controlled Xander instead of the other way around. The demon that shared his existence turned out to be a angry force that eventually drove Xander to kill everyone in his perimeter on instinct. In order to save his friends from himself, he had left and traveled to Asia where he had found himself content in the wilderness. There he knew he couldn't hurt the ones he loved since they were nowhere near him. Years later, he was found by Spike who soon took him under his wing. They had been happy until this past week, when they had received the news that Dawn was to become a mother and wanted both of them there. Xander knew that he couldn't go, couldn't put his loved ones in danger like that. But Spike had insisted that they go to see the birth of Dawn's baby, and when he couldn't get Xander to agree, he decided to go alone. Xander knew that Spike would stay in England with Dawn, the new baby, and the rest. Why would he want to come back to a demon that couldn't even control himself long enough for a short visit?
Tears streamed down Xander's face as he thought of the long lonely years ahead. Soon the tears melted away into shrieks of agony at the loss of Spike and all his other loved ones. Screaming 'til he was too worn to even breathe, Xander sank to the ground in a puddle of self despair. He sat there for hours mindlessly splayed in a uncomfortable heap, until the screech of tires caused him to jump skyward. Picking himself up off the floor to glance out the window, he was shocked to see Spike's silver Escalade sitting in the driveway. Hope filled his heart; then he realized Spike must have forgotten something and had only come back to retrieve it. Sinking again to the floor, Xander was unprepared for the blur of blond hair as strong arms lifted him to his feet.
"Now listen here, you daft bugger. You might not believe me when I tell you that you can control the demon, but you will listen to me when I tell you if you can't, I will. So we are going to England, and we are going to see Dawn's baby, and you are going to have fun, and agree with me when I tell you I love you. Or I pull your bloody heart out myself."
Xander stared at Spike speechlessly for a moment before nodding his head in agreement and leaning in to allow Spike to kiss him. Sighing in happiness, he moved to go upstairs to pack his things. He knew he could trust Spike to control him when the urge to kill became to strong. He also knew that Spike loved him and didn't see him as an unneeded burden. Things might not be perfect, but they were as close as they could ever be. Seeing as he was a demon and all.