Okay, another chapter up. It didn't take nearly as long as I had thought
(less than a week), but you can't expect the next one for a while, and this
time I'm serious, because I haven't even started it yet, and I need to go
through the Order of the Pheonix and look for some more ideas. Only reason
this one came so fast was that I was hit by sudden inspiration. (Not to
mention I got really mad at the Dune book I'm reading at the moment, and
had nothing better to do.) I'm going away for the weekend, so that's going
to lengthen it a bit. I'll be able to research for this story while I'm
gone, but no writing. Okay, well I better stop rambling and let you get on
with the story. Please review!
A note to those who actually know me in real life: This chapter contains things that NONE of you have read yet, so be happy and stop bothering me!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter, that belongs to J.K. Rowling. Also in this chapter, short references to things such as the Odyssey, Monty Pithon and the Holy Grail, Sorcerer Hunters, various works by David Eddings, and Dune occur, and I don't own any of that either, so don't sue me.
Chapter 13
Walking through Hogsmeade, Jill, Stephanie, and Adrienne looked around excitedly while Katie and Andy looked slightly confused. as soon as they had arrived, Fred and George had run off to Zonko's to check out the competition. When Ron asked where everyone wanted to go, Silk had suggested the Shrieking Shack.
"Ya know," mentioned Ron, "it's really not quite as interesting knowing that it was never actually haunted."
"Someone should report that to the Daily Prophet," said Fred, rejoining them.
"And how would you explain that?" whispered Harry dangerously, rounding on him.
"Well," said George, not catching the warning in Harry's voice, "Lupin and Siri—OH!" George looked properly abashed at his stupidity. "Right, we can't tell anyone about Snuffles."
"Really genius?" said Adrienne oh so sarcastically. And, as usual, she took a bit too far. "Well, that's good to know. I was about to go call Rita Skeeter and tell her all about it. and I thought I'd throw in a bit about Voldemort (flinching from Hermione and the Weasleys) for good measure, and how—"
"Okay, okay, shut up already, will you? I get your point!" said George hurriedly, making sure no one was near enough to hear her.
"Oh, don't worry," she scoffed. "Nobody's going to hear!"
At that moment, a crazy, brave-yet-stupid-looking man, dressed in ancient Greek attire, ran out of the Shrieking Shack. Ron ran over and tackled the man, holding him in place. "What is your name?" asked Fred.
"Nohbdy," said the man. "Let me go! I'm on a quest!"
"What is your quest?"
Some other dude in armor ran out of the Shrieking Shack. "I seek the Holy Grail!" His armor was midevil-looking and he had a British accent. Of course, so did the people that belonged where they were.
Odysseus then asked King Arthur a question of his own: "What is the average flight velocity of a migrating swallow?"
"African or European?"
"Uh...where's Africa and Europe?" yelled Odysseus as he flew away to land in the nearest canyon.
"King Arthur, did you hear what we were talking about?" asked Jill. King Arthur was NOT Nohbdy.
"Something about a quest, I thought. That is why I came out of that wreck anyway. Absolutely no fortifications!" He looked concerned. "It would never withstand a siege. Don't you have any common sense?"
"Well," burst out Adrienne, "your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"I'm sorry," said the king rather huffily, "but I can not assist you on your quest. I'm much too busy on my own quest. I seek the Holy Grail!" Then he ran off into the distance screaming "NEEP!"
"Do weird things always happen around you people?" asked Harry.
"You're one to talk," said Stephanie.
"She has a point, Harry," agreed Hermione when he became flustered. "You have the same tendency to attract weird events."
"But not THIS weird! People don't normally just appear out of thin air simply because I'm around!"
"But people DO Apparate all the time," Jill contradicted. "And the time you got trapped by Voldemort (twitch) at the end of the Triwizard Tournament, he had all those Death Eaters Apparate just because you had arrived!"
"Oh, shut up!" yelled Harry, storming off to Honeydukes. Ron hurried after him.
"He's under a lot of pressure," Hermione told them, as much to reassure herself as the others. She looked anxiously in the direction he had run. "You know, with Malfoy letting on hints about Sirius at Platform 9¾." At this point, Fred and George became uncomfortable mumbled something about socks, and went off towards the main village.
Rylan Collins came bounding out of the Shrieking Shack. "Did someone say 'sock'?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing their feet.
"Rylan!" Adrienne exploded. "Now is NOT the time to talk about socks!" She sighed. "Why don't you go, oh, I don't know, crowbar Jessica or something?"
"Crowbar!" He ran back into the Shrieking Shack.
"How do you know all these people?" asked Hermione, finally distracted from Harry's moody behavior as they walked towards Honeydukes.
"Well, that first boy who appeared in Gryffindor Tower was my little brother, Joey," explained Adrienne, resigned to the fact that he WAS related to her.
"The other kid, who definitely needs to be klonked, was a random kid in our grade, Adam Levine," said Stephanie in disgust.
"And I figured out that the crazy 'Nohbdy' was Odysseus from Greek mythology." She frowned in consternation. "But why was he speaking English?"
"Athena probably helped him," Katie said, trying to actually be helpful.
"Like the time she shielded him from an arrow!" said Stephanie.
"I still think it was just Bhelliom protecting his Anakha," Adrienne argued stubbornly.
Stephanie sighed, exasperated with her randomness. "Wrong she and he, idiot!" she said as she klonked her.
"Hermione," said Andy, "you shouldn't hit Harry."
"I've never hit Harry!" Hermione objected at the same time Stephanie said, "But Professor, he needed it!"
"Well I suppose you're right," Andy conceded, responding to the name "Professor."
"What are you talking about?" asked Hermione furiously.
"Fred," asked "Harry", "why are there two Hermiones?"
"I dunno," said "Fred" (Jill), just as Stephanie klonked Adrienne again.
"You stupid midget! You shouldn't hit people taller than you!" Klonk. "DARLING!" Klonk. "Annamaria!" Klonk. "Kheldar, I'll stick you in a cave!" Klonk. "Do not hit God!" Klonk. "Talen, would you like me to break your nose, too?" Klonk. "Bunny!" Klonk. "Ow, Duncan, what did you do that for?" Klonk. "Thanks, Silk-a-Silk." Dodge another klonk. Stephanie grinned maliciously. "Come on, Silk-a-Silk," pleaded Adrienne. "We don't need ever MORE complications now, do we?" Stephanie finally stopped just as they reached Honeydukes.
By this point, Hermione had given up trying to make sense of it all. I probably don't want to know anyway, she wisely thought to herself. "So, anyway," she managed to say, "who was that 'King Arthur' guy?"
"Oh, him. He's from a movie, Monty Pithon and the Holy Grail," said Jill.
"I've heard of those movies," said Harry. He seemed to have calm down a bit from when he ran off. Ron was with him. "Dudley loves them. I've never actually seen one though. Are they any good?" Everyone who HAD seen them nodded vigorously. And so it was that they entered Honeydukes excitedly yapping about newts, witches, hamsters, elderberries, the French, black-armmored knights, flesh wounds, coconuts, and swallows.
Honeydukes was packed, as it always is when Hogwarts students are in Hogsmeade. The fifth years had, of course, long since gotten over the novelty of all the varieties of sweets there, but they enjoyed themselves, nonetheless. Adrienne, Andy, Jill, Katie, and Stephanie's money ahd somehow been changed into wizarding currency, so they were able to buy whatever they wanted. Adrienne's favorite was the sugar quill, while Andy preferred the Fizzing Whizbees. Katie liked Drooble's Best Bubble Gum. Jill thought that Chocolate Frogs were best, but Stephanie surprised them all by choosing Cockroach Clusters. When they finally emerged, the sky was starting to get dark.
"We should probably be getting back to the castle soon," said Hermione.
Harry checked his watch. "We still have time for a quick butterbeer. What do you say?"
Everyone thought this was a top-notch idea, so they headed to the Three Broomsticks. Once inside, Fred and George had spotted Lee Jordan and ran off to talk to him. Ron went off, blushing, to get drinks, and the rest of them found two open tables and pushed them together, as there were so many of them. Ron returned bearing butterbeers, helped by Madam Rosmerta herself. She clucked her tongue disapprovingly at their creation. "You really shouldn't push the tables together. It's dangerous!" she reprimanded them.
"Oh, lighten up, Madam Rosmerta," said Fred, dragging a chair over to join them.
"Yeah," said George. "What's so dangerous about moving some tables and chairs?" As Madam Rosmerta walked away, torquoise heels, glittering, George stole the recently vacated chair of Justin Finch-Fletchey.
"Hey!" said Ernie MacMillan, who was sitting at that table, along with Hannah Abbot. "That's Justin's chair!"
"Really?" asked George mockingly. "I don't see his name on it anywhere."
"I'm a prefect!" Ernie procaimed pompously. "I'll report you! I mean it!"
"We're not on the school grounds, and in any case, I'm not breaking any rules. It's not like I dumped the kid out of his chair or something." At this, Ernie gave up and nicked another chair from a nearby table. As George scooted his chair closer to their own table, he saw Adrienne and Katie laughing uncontrollably. In fact, Adrienne fell out of her chair as he watched. "Did I miss something?" he asked, staring in amazement as Adrienne continued to shake with laughter on the floor.
"The two of them have just become a victim of Irony," explained Stephanie, exasperated at the way of the worlds.
The two girls settled down and Adrienne pulled herself back into her chair. "But which type of irony would it be?" she mused. "It's not verbal, and not exactly dramatic, nor situational. I'm so confused."
"You're always confused," said Ms. Stonge, who just happened to be standing there. "Actually, this is a mix of dramatic and situational irony. It's dramatic because Fred, George, Madam Rosmerta, and Ernie had no clue that what they were doing was in the least bit amusing. It's also situatuional because the last thing anyone expected was for you to encounter a reflection of your everyday life here." Having said her piece, Stonge went off to finid the nearest Starbucks.
"Our English teacher," said Katie, answering the Brits' unasked question.
By this time, most of the Hogwarts students were making their way out of the Three Broomsticks and back to the castle. The group joined the loose flow. As they entered the grounds, a thought came to Harry.
"You've read about everything that happens to us until we get off of Platform 9¾ at the end of the year, right?" he asked the visitors. When they nodded, he continued, "then how come you manage to look surprised all the time?"
"Well, you see," said Stephanie, "the books don't say EVERYTHING that happens. That simply wouldn't be practical."
"And," added Adrienne, "I think whoever's in charge of this whole crazy thing has been reading Alex's book."
"Who's Alex?" asked Ron.
"Never mind," interrupted Katie as they all walked through the great double dorrs and continued in to dinner.
A note to those who actually know me in real life: This chapter contains things that NONE of you have read yet, so be happy and stop bothering me!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter, that belongs to J.K. Rowling. Also in this chapter, short references to things such as the Odyssey, Monty Pithon and the Holy Grail, Sorcerer Hunters, various works by David Eddings, and Dune occur, and I don't own any of that either, so don't sue me.
Chapter 13
Walking through Hogsmeade, Jill, Stephanie, and Adrienne looked around excitedly while Katie and Andy looked slightly confused. as soon as they had arrived, Fred and George had run off to Zonko's to check out the competition. When Ron asked where everyone wanted to go, Silk had suggested the Shrieking Shack.
"Ya know," mentioned Ron, "it's really not quite as interesting knowing that it was never actually haunted."
"Someone should report that to the Daily Prophet," said Fred, rejoining them.
"And how would you explain that?" whispered Harry dangerously, rounding on him.
"Well," said George, not catching the warning in Harry's voice, "Lupin and Siri—OH!" George looked properly abashed at his stupidity. "Right, we can't tell anyone about Snuffles."
"Really genius?" said Adrienne oh so sarcastically. And, as usual, she took a bit too far. "Well, that's good to know. I was about to go call Rita Skeeter and tell her all about it. and I thought I'd throw in a bit about Voldemort (flinching from Hermione and the Weasleys) for good measure, and how—"
"Okay, okay, shut up already, will you? I get your point!" said George hurriedly, making sure no one was near enough to hear her.
"Oh, don't worry," she scoffed. "Nobody's going to hear!"
At that moment, a crazy, brave-yet-stupid-looking man, dressed in ancient Greek attire, ran out of the Shrieking Shack. Ron ran over and tackled the man, holding him in place. "What is your name?" asked Fred.
"Nohbdy," said the man. "Let me go! I'm on a quest!"
"What is your quest?"
Some other dude in armor ran out of the Shrieking Shack. "I seek the Holy Grail!" His armor was midevil-looking and he had a British accent. Of course, so did the people that belonged where they were.
Odysseus then asked King Arthur a question of his own: "What is the average flight velocity of a migrating swallow?"
"African or European?"
"Uh...where's Africa and Europe?" yelled Odysseus as he flew away to land in the nearest canyon.
"King Arthur, did you hear what we were talking about?" asked Jill. King Arthur was NOT Nohbdy.
"Something about a quest, I thought. That is why I came out of that wreck anyway. Absolutely no fortifications!" He looked concerned. "It would never withstand a siege. Don't you have any common sense?"
"Well," burst out Adrienne, "your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
"I'm sorry," said the king rather huffily, "but I can not assist you on your quest. I'm much too busy on my own quest. I seek the Holy Grail!" Then he ran off into the distance screaming "NEEP!"
"Do weird things always happen around you people?" asked Harry.
"You're one to talk," said Stephanie.
"She has a point, Harry," agreed Hermione when he became flustered. "You have the same tendency to attract weird events."
"But not THIS weird! People don't normally just appear out of thin air simply because I'm around!"
"But people DO Apparate all the time," Jill contradicted. "And the time you got trapped by Voldemort (twitch) at the end of the Triwizard Tournament, he had all those Death Eaters Apparate just because you had arrived!"
"Oh, shut up!" yelled Harry, storming off to Honeydukes. Ron hurried after him.
"He's under a lot of pressure," Hermione told them, as much to reassure herself as the others. She looked anxiously in the direction he had run. "You know, with Malfoy letting on hints about Sirius at Platform 9¾." At this point, Fred and George became uncomfortable mumbled something about socks, and went off towards the main village.
Rylan Collins came bounding out of the Shrieking Shack. "Did someone say 'sock'?" he asked suspiciously, eyeing their feet.
"Rylan!" Adrienne exploded. "Now is NOT the time to talk about socks!" She sighed. "Why don't you go, oh, I don't know, crowbar Jessica or something?"
"Crowbar!" He ran back into the Shrieking Shack.
"How do you know all these people?" asked Hermione, finally distracted from Harry's moody behavior as they walked towards Honeydukes.
"Well, that first boy who appeared in Gryffindor Tower was my little brother, Joey," explained Adrienne, resigned to the fact that he WAS related to her.
"The other kid, who definitely needs to be klonked, was a random kid in our grade, Adam Levine," said Stephanie in disgust.
"And I figured out that the crazy 'Nohbdy' was Odysseus from Greek mythology." She frowned in consternation. "But why was he speaking English?"
"Athena probably helped him," Katie said, trying to actually be helpful.
"Like the time she shielded him from an arrow!" said Stephanie.
"I still think it was just Bhelliom protecting his Anakha," Adrienne argued stubbornly.
Stephanie sighed, exasperated with her randomness. "Wrong she and he, idiot!" she said as she klonked her.
"Hermione," said Andy, "you shouldn't hit Harry."
"I've never hit Harry!" Hermione objected at the same time Stephanie said, "But Professor, he needed it!"
"Well I suppose you're right," Andy conceded, responding to the name "Professor."
"What are you talking about?" asked Hermione furiously.
"Fred," asked "Harry", "why are there two Hermiones?"
"I dunno," said "Fred" (Jill), just as Stephanie klonked Adrienne again.
"You stupid midget! You shouldn't hit people taller than you!" Klonk. "DARLING!" Klonk. "Annamaria!" Klonk. "Kheldar, I'll stick you in a cave!" Klonk. "Do not hit God!" Klonk. "Talen, would you like me to break your nose, too?" Klonk. "Bunny!" Klonk. "Ow, Duncan, what did you do that for?" Klonk. "Thanks, Silk-a-Silk." Dodge another klonk. Stephanie grinned maliciously. "Come on, Silk-a-Silk," pleaded Adrienne. "We don't need ever MORE complications now, do we?" Stephanie finally stopped just as they reached Honeydukes.
By this point, Hermione had given up trying to make sense of it all. I probably don't want to know anyway, she wisely thought to herself. "So, anyway," she managed to say, "who was that 'King Arthur' guy?"
"Oh, him. He's from a movie, Monty Pithon and the Holy Grail," said Jill.
"I've heard of those movies," said Harry. He seemed to have calm down a bit from when he ran off. Ron was with him. "Dudley loves them. I've never actually seen one though. Are they any good?" Everyone who HAD seen them nodded vigorously. And so it was that they entered Honeydukes excitedly yapping about newts, witches, hamsters, elderberries, the French, black-armmored knights, flesh wounds, coconuts, and swallows.
Honeydukes was packed, as it always is when Hogwarts students are in Hogsmeade. The fifth years had, of course, long since gotten over the novelty of all the varieties of sweets there, but they enjoyed themselves, nonetheless. Adrienne, Andy, Jill, Katie, and Stephanie's money ahd somehow been changed into wizarding currency, so they were able to buy whatever they wanted. Adrienne's favorite was the sugar quill, while Andy preferred the Fizzing Whizbees. Katie liked Drooble's Best Bubble Gum. Jill thought that Chocolate Frogs were best, but Stephanie surprised them all by choosing Cockroach Clusters. When they finally emerged, the sky was starting to get dark.
"We should probably be getting back to the castle soon," said Hermione.
Harry checked his watch. "We still have time for a quick butterbeer. What do you say?"
Everyone thought this was a top-notch idea, so they headed to the Three Broomsticks. Once inside, Fred and George had spotted Lee Jordan and ran off to talk to him. Ron went off, blushing, to get drinks, and the rest of them found two open tables and pushed them together, as there were so many of them. Ron returned bearing butterbeers, helped by Madam Rosmerta herself. She clucked her tongue disapprovingly at their creation. "You really shouldn't push the tables together. It's dangerous!" she reprimanded them.
"Oh, lighten up, Madam Rosmerta," said Fred, dragging a chair over to join them.
"Yeah," said George. "What's so dangerous about moving some tables and chairs?" As Madam Rosmerta walked away, torquoise heels, glittering, George stole the recently vacated chair of Justin Finch-Fletchey.
"Hey!" said Ernie MacMillan, who was sitting at that table, along with Hannah Abbot. "That's Justin's chair!"
"Really?" asked George mockingly. "I don't see his name on it anywhere."
"I'm a prefect!" Ernie procaimed pompously. "I'll report you! I mean it!"
"We're not on the school grounds, and in any case, I'm not breaking any rules. It's not like I dumped the kid out of his chair or something." At this, Ernie gave up and nicked another chair from a nearby table. As George scooted his chair closer to their own table, he saw Adrienne and Katie laughing uncontrollably. In fact, Adrienne fell out of her chair as he watched. "Did I miss something?" he asked, staring in amazement as Adrienne continued to shake with laughter on the floor.
"The two of them have just become a victim of Irony," explained Stephanie, exasperated at the way of the worlds.
The two girls settled down and Adrienne pulled herself back into her chair. "But which type of irony would it be?" she mused. "It's not verbal, and not exactly dramatic, nor situational. I'm so confused."
"You're always confused," said Ms. Stonge, who just happened to be standing there. "Actually, this is a mix of dramatic and situational irony. It's dramatic because Fred, George, Madam Rosmerta, and Ernie had no clue that what they were doing was in the least bit amusing. It's also situatuional because the last thing anyone expected was for you to encounter a reflection of your everyday life here." Having said her piece, Stonge went off to finid the nearest Starbucks.
"Our English teacher," said Katie, answering the Brits' unasked question.
By this time, most of the Hogwarts students were making their way out of the Three Broomsticks and back to the castle. The group joined the loose flow. As they entered the grounds, a thought came to Harry.
"You've read about everything that happens to us until we get off of Platform 9¾ at the end of the year, right?" he asked the visitors. When they nodded, he continued, "then how come you manage to look surprised all the time?"
"Well, you see," said Stephanie, "the books don't say EVERYTHING that happens. That simply wouldn't be practical."
"And," added Adrienne, "I think whoever's in charge of this whole crazy thing has been reading Alex's book."
"Who's Alex?" asked Ron.
"Never mind," interrupted Katie as they all walked through the great double dorrs and continued in to dinner.