No Place That Far
Stacey
Category: Angst
Pairing: John / Eizabeth
Summary: Elizabeth and how she copes when John's away (POV)
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: I can only take credit for plot
Author's Notes: Not my usual style but hey :) I'm thinking of doing one from John's POV let me but I'll see how this one goes…
When he goes away she wants to run.
The uncertainty of when or if he's ever going to come back starts to mask itself as anxiety. She panics that he won't return, that while he's gone he'll change or worse she'll change. She becomes angry at the fact he's making her feeling like this. The longer he's gone the more undistinguishable these emotions become from each other.
She starts to resent him for the hurt he's causing her and she's scared that if he doesn't come home soon she won't be able to forgive him.
It's like she's trapped unable breathe and all she want's do is escape, get as far away from Atlantis and her fear as possible.
But she knows there's no place that far.
She's got the entire universe at her fingertips but no matter where or how far she goes her thoughts will always plague her.
Ironic that they are the one thing she wants to escape and the only thing she can't.
So with nowhere to run and no other options she finds herself waiting, forcing herself to work, keep busy. She's able to occupy herself pushing the unwanted thoughts to the furthest most desolated areas of her mind.
But they're still there and the second she stops they all come flooding back, even she knows she can't keep it up for ever.
Then just when she's about to give up on him, when she swears to herself this is the last time she's going to be put through this, he comes home.
All the anger and bitterness, the resentment, it all washes away instantly.
The fact that he's standing in front of her, tangible, touchable relieves her more than she ever thought possible.
In that single moment and from thereon in she doesn't care what he's put her through because in all honestly she doesn't care.
He's home now and things can go back to normal.
In the end that's all that matters.