Author: Isabel Juno

Chapter: Rivers

Story: The Assassin's Decision

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Rivers

The glass moved through his skin like a ship on a still pond. Cleanly. He let out a half sigh half hiss of relief and pain. The red fluid ran from his arteries like a great tsunami bursting through a dam. He was sorry for the blood he'd gotten on the carpet and bedspread. He'd apologized for it in the letter he'd written. He knew if he left the guest room and went into the bathroom and didn't come out that Miles and Lindsey would get suspicious. He examined his blood on the broken glass. The tiny cracks in the glass that had been caused when he'd broken it had captured the blood and as he watched the blood spreading through the cracks he was forcibly reminded of blood flowing through the veins and arteries of the body. The tiniest of the cracks were the capillaries trying to bring the oxygenated blood to something that didn't need it. Greg reflected on this deciding that he didn't need it either. He dug the glass shards deeper into his flesh reveling in the amount of blood that it pushed out. He'd thought that this would hurt more. He realized that the he was crying, he tilted his head to the ceiling resting in on the side of the bed. He was sitting still only in the towel leaning against the bed and he breathed in and out slowly reveling in the excitement caused by the lack of oxygen getting to his brain. He decided that this wasn't fast enough. He picked up the shard he'd been using, he hadn't even realized he had dropped it, and he dragged it across his chest and neck repeatedly until his hands were so slick with his own blood that he couldn't hold the glass it fell to the ground silently and he leaned back against the bed with a confident little smile on his face. Nobody could save him now, he was certain of that. He had locked the door and he knew that the kids thought him to be sleeping and they hadn't heard the glass break as Greg had put it under the sheets and pillow before smashing it with his knee. They wouldn't come to check on him for a while. He stared at the ceiling now swimming in his vision as his eyelids flickered like the image on a T.V. with bad reception. His blood covered chest fell up and down slower and slower until it hardly moved. Greg's eyes closed on the world and he smiled calmly prepared for the end. The letter rested on the nightstand beside the untaken pills. It was as neatly written as a shaky hand could write. When Gil read it later it felt like he'd been kicked in the teeth by somebody wearing size 12 combat boots.

Hey guys,

First off I want to apologize for the mess I'm leaving behind. I have to take advantage of the time your not here though. Please make sure that Miles is safe and well cared for, he's gonna be mad at me for this and to be honest I'm not terribly happy about leaving him but I can't do this anymore. I need Sara, I can't live without her, I'm the reason that she's dead and I can't live with that. This is my fault all of it. I just don't have Grissom's kind of strength to pull through this. To be honest I don't care anymore, I just don't want to feel anything. I can't sleep because I always see her dying again and again and I know it's my fault. If I'd moved just a little bit faster I could have saved her, I know I could have. I can't escape that fact. It's driving me mad. I'm sorry that I've been so stupid and useless lately and I'm really sorry for causing so much trouble and worry. I have to do this. I hope you'll never have to understand why.

Sorry guys,

Greg

The blood trickled out of his veins and his smile faded slightly as the darkness overtook him enveloping him like a soft silky sheet and he knew only nothingness.

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