2. Teenage Dirtbag
Cloud was off the hook. The burnt match theory was decided to be a probably cause of Wonky's untimely demise. Reno, of course, was not off the hook. He never was, if the school administrators at Sector Six High could help it. He did receive in-school suspension as well as a week of detention after that, but he didn't really seem to care much about it. Everyone else did, though. It was all anyone would ask Cloud about the next day.
"That is just so awesome," his friend said of the incident, as they sat in the library during lunch. "Guys' got balls."
The lanky boy sitting across from him and Cloud agreed, nodding enthusiastically. "Seriously. I know you don't like me saying this, Cloud, but Reno is just the man."
"The man in detention, you mean," Cloud corrected irritably.
The two boys who sat with Cloud couldn't have made a more mismatched pair of friends. Zack Kurozaki, a boy with a broad, charming sort of smile and dark spiked hair that rivaled that of Cloud's, sat at one side of the table, occasionally sneaking a few chips from his gym bag when the librarian wasn't looking. Cloud and Zack had first met in junior high, when Zack, a native Gongagan, had moved to town with his little brother and sister to stay with their aunt and uncle. His parents were under the impression that Zack and his siblings would acquire a better education in Midgar than they would in Gongaga. Of course, this turned out to be wrong once they started attending classes at the rundown sector six schools. Nevertheless, the kids decided to stay in Midgar, having grown used to city life.
Across from Zack sat a lanky, comparatively less handsome kid, Reeve Arkanian. Reeve was Cloud's first best friend; the latter had many a time rescued the former from schoolyard bullying in the third grade. And really, who could resist picking on him? Reeve was one of those skinny, passive dorks whose pimply face sported more craters than Mt. Nibel. Now given, Reeve could be a fun guy to hang around sometimes; he was certainly a witty kid. But, he had his quirks. All the time he would be fiddling around with various gadgets and robots. These little inventions of his would have all sorts of strange and absolutely useless functions, like a banana peeler, or a Pig Latin translator, or a high-speed nose hair clipper (Zack was the unfortunate test subject). Reeve's latest project, the one he was working on right now under the table, was a miniature remote controlled chocobo that could fly around the room. It seemed to be a lot more practical than most of his other inventions, but why, out of all the animals in the world, he chose a chocobo was lost on Cloud and Zack.
"So Cloud," Reeve started, tightening a loose screw in the remote, "did Reno tell you why he decided to piss Mrs. Richter off?"
"No, of course not." Not directly, at least. "It's ridiculous; he really didn't get anything out of it except for a few kicks."
"Isn't that his reason for doing anything?" asked Zack, who was looking through some letters from his parents. One of the photos fell out, revealing that his baby sister, Sandra, was already up and out of the crib, running amok in the Kurozakis' kitchen.
"Yeah, it is," said Cloud. "He's such an idiot."
"The bitch is gone!" said Reeve, diving under the table for the chips. But Zack snatched it away, chuckling and watching Reeve bumble around on the floor, rapaciously trying to get at the food. They fought playfully for a while until Cloud kicked both of them warningly; the librarian, at her desk, had once again taken notice of the two screwing around and had thrown them a threatening look. Giggling stupidly, the two boys climbed back into their seats.
"You guys are retarded," Cloud told them.
"Hey, we're hungry!" Reeve defended. "We need to get our daily fill of fat and cholesterol, you know. I want nice big thunder thighs by the time I'm thirty. Or a beer belly. Those things are real sexy."
Zack frowned in disgust. "Ugh. Thanks for the image, Reeve."
"Anytime."
"If you want to get fat," Cloud said, "why don't you eat a tub of lard? It's faster."
"I would, but the chips are cheese flavored, unlike the lard." He pointed out, tossing a few chips into his mouth.
Cloud reached over for some too, looking over his shoulder to make sure the librarian wasn't watching. But right away his head snapped forwards again, a surprised anxiety overcoming his wide blue eyes. Uneasily, he attempted to hide his shock, nibbling at his chip and chewing it with unnatural slowness.
But Zack and Reeve couldn't be fooled. Both boys exchanged looks, grinning. "Ah, you saw her, didn't you?" Zack said.
"Saw who?" He tried to ask this with as much feigned obliviousness as possible, but his delivery…well, it really sucked.
"Don't be a numbnuts, Cloud, we had a good clear view of Tifa waltzing into the library behind ya."
Yes, it was Tifa. Tifa Lockheart. Just like Reno, he didn't need more than a glance to confirm her presence, her lush dark hair bouncing behind her shoulders, her girlish stride as she entered the library. And now he concentrated his gaze elsewhere, fearing getting caught watching her. Reeve smirked amusedly. Cloud had had a crush on his next door neighbor for as long as Reeve could remember; he knew full well that the thing Cloud craved most in this world was Tifa's attention. Everything else about his feelings Cloud could easily from his friends, but everything about his infatuation with Tifa was pretty much tattooed on his face. While Reeve always sat there grinning smugly, Zack would always start encouraging Cloud.
"Come on man, why don't you talk to her?" he asked. "She's just a girl. She's not gonna bite your face off."
"Yeah, but uh…she doesn't um…know me."
Zack shook his head. Sometimes, he just couldn't believe this guy. "You freaking live next door to her! She's in your class, dick! Come on, just go, say hi! Ask for the time or something, or how her cheerleading is going, or-"
"-What the velocity of a southern swallow is!" Reeve interrupted, unable to keep from being facetious for one second, even during Zack's little 'man-to-man' chat. "I could compare it to my robo-chocobo," he teased.
Zack shot him an exasperated 'Dude, you're an idiot,' look. "Come on Cloud, go say hi."
The blond hesitated, but still managed to disappoint him. "…Tell your Mom to say hi." He retorted feebly.
"Aw, geez…"
"Look, just why are you so interested anyway?" Cloud inquired, deciding to sneak a glance behind. Tifa was browsing the Biographies section, notebook in hand as her finger traveled along the rows of book spines. She was apparently working on her history project. "Are you a romantic or something? Do you play matchmaker often?"
"No, but I'll play soccer with your face if you ever accuse me of that ever again." Zack said shortly. "Anyway, it's really nothing, nothing at all. It's just that…you two are a feasible couple."
"'Feasible?' What's that supposed to mean?" Reeve interrupted.
"It's defined as 'possible' or 'realistic' in the dictionary, but in this case, it means that Cloud and Tifa would probably make a good couple," he said, though both Reeve and Cloud could tell that this half-assed little explanation was not what Zack really meant. "I mean, Cloud's sort of a jock, and then Tifa's sort of a cheerleader, so…you know…"
"Amazing." Reeve commented. "Never pinned you as a person who stereotypes, Zack. So since I'm the token 'geek', will I stay a virgin till I found my own software company, get filthy rich, and marry seven scandalous whores?"
"Not if I don't wring your neck first." Zack snapped. "Okay okay, so the jock-cheerleader thing was a bad reason. What I meant was that I think that Cloud and Tifa would er…understand each other more than other couples."
"Heh. Right. Youthink that they'd make a cute couple," said Reeve.
"I never said that."
"Much is implied through actions."
"Who are you, a village elder? I explicitly did not say the word 'cute'."
"Well, come on, who calls a couple 'feasible'?! Technically, all couples are feasible! Have you read any of that crappy fan stuff on the internet?"
"Would you two shut up?" Cloud whispered crossly. He glanced over at Tifa again, a dispirited countenance overcoming him as he watched. "Look who she's talking to." They looked.
Tifa was talking to Sephiroth Hojo. A tall, already well-built junior with long silvery hair tied back in a knot, he was actually smiling a little as he asked her about her assignment. Seph even made her laugh, apparently saying something funny as he glanced through the shelves, picking out a book for her.
Cloud awaited with baited breath as he watched them talking, wondering when he was going to leave. But they continued chatting. Of course, why not? Why wouldn't you stop and take the time to carry a conversation with a guy like Seph? Besides being the big man on campus, he was the star quarterback and center on the football and basketball teams, respectively. He was also an all A student, and despite being a bit reserved at times, was very popular with most of the upperclassmen. It really was a rarity for him to stop and chat with a Freshman like Tifa.
Which was what made Cloud so uptight about it. He knew that Reeve and Zack were watching his desperation right now, commenting to each other on how stupid he was being. He really wasn't paying attention, but he caught something like "he's being a big wuss about the whole thing and taking it too seriously" come out of Zack's mouth. At any rate, he didn't give a damn about what they said. That's what friends were for. To give you advice that you'd never take. He did, however, care about what Reno would say about the situation: 'Come on, sport, why else would Seph talk to her? Because he wants to get in her pants. Don't need a big neon sign for that.' Cloud made a note to himself not to talk to Reno about this, or anything else pertaining to his 'love life', if you could call it that. Not that he ever did have any personal brotherly chats with him, but all the same, he made the note just in case he had a sudden lapse of sanity.
Because that's exactly what Tifa did to him. She made him lose his wits every time he saw her.
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"MOM! We're home!!"
For some reason, Reno thought that repeatedly ringing a doorbell while simultaneously inserting his key into the front door was not a sufficient enough way to get his mother's attention. He had to scream at the top of his lungs when he got in, prompting Cloud to quickly close the door behind him every time. But you couldn't say that it wasn't effective. Mrs. Strife, a perpetually overwhelmed, weary-looking woman, was always down to meet her sons within a few seconds of their arrival.
"Honey," she started, rubbing her temples, "would you mind not doing that?"
"Sure thing," he answered, kissing her cheek. He dropped his books on the couch and, without delay, made his way to the refrigerator.
"And well? Have you been staying on your teacher's good side?" Unconsciously she bent her back forwards a bit, so that her other son could greet her. But then she noticed Cloud awkwardly having to crane forward as well, instead of tiptoeing up to kiss her cheek. After the kiss she stood back astounded, motioning for him to stand up straight, so she could admire his sudden growth spurt. It almost seemed like it had happened overnight. Cloud, meanwhile, rolled his eyes. It almost seemed like his mother marveled at his increasing height every day. It was only about an inch and a half more compared to the beginning of the school year.
"Yes, I've been a good little boy," Reno answered, emerging from the open fridge with several multi-layered sandwiches and a bottle of cola. "Didn't give anyone any mental breakdowns today."
"Well, you gave me a headache will all that noise you brought in earlier. Do you know what kind of day I had at the office today? Three meetings for Mr. Douglas, all before noon. It was a nightmare. And my god, look at the time! It's already five and I haven't even been to see Mrs. Weatherby for those pots and that dress I lent her." She sighed. Such was the life of a perpetually busy widow. "Could you boys make do with sandwiches for dinner?"
"Already on it," said Reno, plopping down on the couch with his food.
"I'm fine with that," said Cloud.
She was picking up her purse and jacket now. "Good. I should be back in…45 minutes, maybe? An hour if the station's crowded."
"We'll be fine, Mom."
After she left, Cloud wandered over to the fridge soon discovering that Reno had taken the last of the ham. Not in the mood to yell, Cloud settled for the leftover tuna casserole from two nights before and a glass of water.
"Gee, I like how you didn't leave anything for me," he said sarcastically as he sat down on the couch.
He saw that Reno was watching 'Midgar's Funniest Home Videos'. That might have been why he didn't bother to answer; there was a girl on who had just ripped her pants while bending down to pick up something, and he sniggered a bit at that.
Cloud shook his head, deciding to start on his food.
"Why are you so distracted?" Reno asked, his eyes still focused on the TV.
"Huh?"
"What's up with you? You're like, distracted."
"It's because you ate all the food, idiot."
"No, not that." Reno looked over at him. "When we were walking home you weren't bitching at me when I started throwing rocks at that old guy's house. Or when his dog started chasing us. Then you didn't tell me to shut up before we entered the house. And then you didn't really whine or raise that much hell when I emptied the fridge. So what's on your mind?"
Cloud furrowed his brow at him cynically. "Why do you care?"
"Well, maybe I'm concerned about you. Ever think of that?"
"Maybe you should shove it. Ever think of that?" Cloud mocked.
Reno, sensing that he was beating around a dead horse, turned back to the TV. "Hey, if you don't want to talk about your little problems, then fine by me."
Cloud was about to ask Reno how he knew that he had a problem, but decided not to, thinking that he would answer with something like "I didn't. You just told me." and that he would say it in his usual, wannabe cool way of his. He did that every time Cloud started acting moody. Well, moodier than usual. That was sort of their 'sitcom' gimmick. Cloud was moody. Reno was insane. Could two different brothers live in the same house without driving each other crazy?
Somehow they did. For the most part, each had his own agenda and really didn't bother the other, though Reno was prone to seizing opportunities to embarrass him in one way or another at school. He was tamer at home, most likely because of their mother. She was one of the only people whom Reno genuinely gave a damn about, and (most of the time) he helped her around the house a lot to make up for all the trouble he caused at school. Sometimes he resorted to stealing groceries for her, and usually threatened Cloud with bodily injury if he told on him. You could sort of call it Reno's 'noble' side.
Cloud stood up, and went into the kitchen again, emptying the rest of the rancid casserole into the trash, taking a few pieces of bread from the counter for his dinner instead. He was about to ascend the stairs when an sudden impulse came over him.
"Reno?"
"What."
"How did you know that I had a problem?"
"I didn't. You just told me."
Cloud started up the stair, shaking his head. "Asshole."
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The next day Cloud found himself waiting at Zack's locker, pressing Zack to hurry up and finish getting his books. Reeve stood behind him, giggling for some reason, while Zack kept kicking him, saying that he was a "distraction." How Reeve's giggling was a distraction was beyond Cloud, because he knew that it didn't really take much concentration to look for a history paper in a locker. So he had some clear indication that something was wrong with this picture.
"Just what are you guys up to?" Cloud asked suspiciously.
Zack's head popped out from inside of his locker. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, I don't know, you both seem to be acting."
"What, acting weird?" said Reeve.
"No, just acting. Horribly. It doesn't take that long to salvage a history paper, Zack, especially out of your impeccably clean locker."
The two exchanged grins. "No, I guess it doesn't," said Zack, shutting the door. "But it does take a while to wait for an opportunity."
This instantly puzzled Cloud. "What?"
And without any warning, Reeve and Zack's hands darted out and shoved Cloud backwards, hard. He bumped into the person behind him, the backs of their heads colliding as he fell. Cloud stuck a foot back to regain his balance, his hand clutching his head as he turned to apologize.
"Geez, I'm so sorry, I-" he stopped.
It was Tifa. Those bastards.
He tried starting again with some difficulty. "Tifa, I uh, I didn't mean to…er…" He sort of trailed off awkwardly from there, but he had enough sense to get down to help Tifa pick up her books. She smiled at him thankfully, though Cloud couldn't help but notice that she had started rubbing the back of her head, where the bruise was.
"It's okay, Cloud," she said reassuringly. "Did you trip or something?"
He looked back after Zack and Reeve who had at this time gotten their cowardly asses halfway down the hall. "You could say that. Um, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I take it that Zack and Reeve were playing a little prank on you?"
Cloud chuckled slightly. "Little prank is understating it. More like sabotage, if you ask me." He was doing surprisingly well so far. He wasn't stuttering or losing his voice or anything.
Tifa laughed. "So I suppose they're in for an ass-kicking after school?"
"You know it."
She ran her fingers through her hair now, checking the hall clock. Cloud noticed, and sort of panicked. "I guess you'll have to go now?" he blurted out. God, that sounded stupid.
"In a minute, I guess," she said, "but I wanted to ask you something first."
"Um, you did?"
"Yeah, listen, are you going to the Battle of the Bands over by sector 3 Friday night?"
No, but he would if Tifa would. "Er…yeah. Of course."
"Really?" She was curious now. Was she gonna ask to go with him? "Are you supporting anyone out there? I've got a friend who plays bass for the Beetlebums."
'Okay, okay, okay, who's playing Friday night?!' He asked himself frantically. Cloud quickly raked his mind, trying to remember what it said on that flyer he saw on his locker. "Er…" Who was that band? They had a weird name, something like- "The Slow Country! Yeah, uh, they're my favorite local band."
"Yeah? They've got a great sound. Fun to mosh to, huh? I love all that syncopation they use in their songs."
"Yes. It's awesome." He had no earthly idea as to what she talking about. But he told himself: smile and nod. Smile and nod.
But she looked like she was getting ready to go. "So…I guess I'll see you on Friday, huh?"
Well, that did it. She was just asking if he was going, nothing more. Dejected, he answered ambiguously. "Uh, yeah. I'll see you."
"Try to find me though, then we can hang out, you know?"
Cloud cheered up slightly. "Er, okay! Sure."
"Bye Cloud!" She smiled at him once more, and then walked past him to English.
"Yeah…bye…" He said, sort of waving at her.
The bell rang, and he stood in the middle of an abandoned hallway. He thought of going to class. But then his eye caught a neon green flyer on the wall. Quickly he seized it.
The Beetlebums, the Slow Country, To the End…Screw his Algebra test, he was going to memorize all of these damn band names. After all, he had till Friday, didn't he?
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A/N: I feel I have to address something, even though it hasn't been brought up. When I said I'd be taking a lot of license with this story…I didn't mean with like, yaoi or anything. So all you BarretXRed XIII or HeidiggerXa toaster fans have to go somewhere else if you want your twisted little fix. Besides, this is high school.
Anyway, the band names all come from real songs written by Damon Albarn fronted bands: Blur and Gorillaz.
Ah-choo: Um, inspiration? Crystal meth. Lots and lots of crystal meth. Actually, I guess you could say FLCL. Go figure, eh? I barely even understand that show. But there are a bunch of other influences in here. Mostly TV or movies.