Thank you readers. Bigger thanks to those who've actually reviewed! I like you. I like you a lot. Go you!

I just realized that I didn't add a disclaimer to the previous chapter... Oops.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot! Well, and the computer I created it on...? Okay, fine! It's not my computer! Spoil my fun, why don't you?

Severus' Alias is taken from the completely hilarious song 'I Must Be Emo.' DOWNLOAD IT! The pronunciation is Eh-moost Beh-emo.

Dedicated to the genius that is Craig Ferguson.

Onto the idiocy!

"What is the 'right of Parley?'" Severus asked, curious as to what he was committed to.

The drunk man rolled over, falling to the floor before Severus' feet and passed out, face down on the ground. Severus cocked his head to the left and poked the man with his foot. No reaction.

'I could have some fun with this.' He thought, his lips doing something they hadn't done in a very long time. Angels sang, bells rang, the theme song to Mission Impossible played for no reason Severus could comprehend and... Severus smiled.

Then, the worst happened; The fuzzy ten year old girl's bedroom started shaking. Severus started to genuinely feel happy. But, noticing what was happening, he kicked the angels and returned to his trademark unreadable face. Was he happy? Was he sad? Was he mad? No, he was frustrated. Those damn angels never let him enjoy his happy moments, not even after he banished them to Lucius' last tea party with Karkaroff. He remembered when he made the near fatal mistake of attending one of Lucius' tea parties; the photographs of him table dancing in drag haunted him.

He needed to take out his frustration on something, anything... The man before him, perhaps?

While rising to his feet, he noticed that there was a bucket filled with water. Should he casually spill it's contents upon the unconscious form at his feet? Holding in his glee due to anticipation, he heard a knock at a door he'd not noticed before.

"Jack, are you in there?" A woman's voice asked, cracking the door slightly to see what 'Jack' was doing.

"Jack, is that his name? He's... sleeping." Severus said. "Who is he? More importantly, who are you?"

A beautiful woman, our lovely Mary Sue, stepped through the threshold. "I am Elizabeth Swann. And you are..?"

"Erm... Imust Bemo." He quickly added in an undertone, "Sir Imust Bemo, Miss Swann. You didn't answer my other question." Severus prodded the man on the ground with his black shoe. "Who's he?"

"He is a rum addict, bad pirate, bad makeup artist and incapable of normal human activity." Swann walked to the bed and sat down. "Also known as Capitan Jack Sparrow."

"Capitan?"

"Yes, his ship, this ship, is called The Black Pearl. I suppose you're here to be stranded on the island as well."

"Stranded?"

"I shouldn't have told you that... Oh well." She said, sighing and looking at Severus before changing the subject. "I suppose you're an alcoholic as well."

Severus quickly retaliated. "I am not an alcoholic, I just like to drink on occasion."

"The occasion being?" She questioned, raising her eyebrows.

He crossed his arms and glared at her. "The celebration of wasting another hour of my life teaching imbeciles how to brew potions, only having them to disregard everything I say and run rampant around my classroom."

"So, you're a teacher, then?"

"Yes."

"Teaching potions...?"

"Correct."

She paused. "You're another nutcase, are you not?"

"Not, Miss Swann. I am perfectly capable of thinking in a logical manner." He then took the cross tone he usually reserved for students alone. "Since I believe I have proven myself not to be insane, will you tell me where I am and what in the hell the Right of Parley is?"

"Parley? It means you are to be taken to the ship's Capitan unscathed and unharmed to negotiate a deal of sorts." She sighed and started to play with her hair. A grin soon spread across her lips. "Did you invoke the Right of Parley with Jack?"

He paused to think before answering. "Maybe I did. Why does it concern you?"

"Well, are you a pirate?"

"No."

"Then the code doesn't apply to men such as yourself." She then stood and walked toward Severus, who was eyeing her suspiciously. She had something hidden behind her back. "I'm sorry I have to do this." With a loud crack, Severus was unconscious on top of Jack's body. Elisabeth looked at the candelabra in her hand. "Daddy's orders, you know."

I promise there will be less filler in the chapters to come. The beginning is always the slowest part.