Chapter 20 Memories
The images came fast and Obi-Wan realized this was not Anakin's nightmare; it was his memories. Anakin had opened his mind up to him and Obi-Wan was seeing Anakin's life as a slave boy on Tatooine. For the first time, Obi-Wan saw Anakin's mother as Anakin saw her, a kind and loving woman. Then memories of Qui-Gon when they had first met and then…Padme.
"Are you an angel?" He saw Anakin ask. "What?" Padme asked. Jar Jar and some kind of droid.
"Hit the nose!" Anakin said….a look…a thought..."I'm going to marry you."
Supper with Qui-Gon and his angel.
"You're a Jedi." Anakin said. "Why would you think that?" Qui-Gon asked. "I saw your laser sword, only a Jedi carries that kind of weapon." Anakin answered. "How do you know I didn't kill a Jedi and steal it?" Qui-Gon asked. "Nobody can kill a Jedi." Anakin answered.
Then the pod race, Sebulba trying to push Anakin in to the rock walls, and Anakin staying right there with him. The finish, and his victory….his freedom.
"Can I go, Mom?" Anakin asked. "Anakin, this is your life; this is your decision, only you can decide." Schmii told him. "I want to do it." Anakin said. He overheard Qui-Gon telling his mother it was the will of the Force. "Will I ever see you again?" Anakin asked his mother. "What does your heart tell you?" She asked. "I don't know; maybe; I guess." Anakin told her, but did not really believe it.
Darth Maul, chasing them across the desert sand.
"Drop, Anakin!" Qui-Gon ordered; and then "Run!" He turned just for a moment and saw flame erupt from Maul's weapon…and he was running… Meeting Obi-Wan for the first time. "You're a Jedi too?" He asked.
Being cold on the way to Coruscant; missing his mother…the angel coming again. A Japoor snippet.
"I made this for you, to remember me by." He said. "I don't need anything to remember you." Padme replied.
Coruscant…Chancellor Valorum…and Palpatine…the Jedi Council
"How feel you?" Yoda asked. "Cold, sir." Anakin answered honestly. "Afraid are you?" Yoda asked.
"No, sir." Anakin answered. "Afraid to give up your life?" Mace asked. "I don't think so." Anakin answered. "See through you we can." Yoda said. "Be mindful of your feelings." Mace told him.
"Your thoughts dwell on your mother." Ki Adi Mundi said. "I miss her." Anakin answered.
"Afraid to loose her." Yoda said. "What's that got to do with anything?" Anakin, angry.
"Everything! Fear leads to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to…suffering." Yoda told him. "I sense much fear in you."
"He will be trained then." Qui-Gon said. "No, he will not be trained." Mace replied…he could see mouths moving, but Anakin had blocked this out. Then Qui-Gon was saying that he was the Chosen One and he didn't know what that meant. "Now is not the time." Mace said.
Obi-Wan heard himself saying Anakin was dangerous…he could feel Anakin's pain when he had said that. He had such admiration for Obi-Wan back then. "I'm sorry, Anakin." Then he and Qui-Gon weren't speaking and that hurt Anakin too. He felt he had been the cause of this. "Qui-Gon, sir, I don't mean to be a problem." Anakin said.
Meeting the Gungans for the first time and finding out that his angel was the Queen of Naboo…oh, she won't marry me now….
The hanger in Theed City. Shooting…Qui-Gon said he had to hide so he climbed into a fighter cockpit.
"Stay in that cockpit." Qui-Gon ordered, and so he did…
Darth Maul again, Obi-Wan saw his younger self facing this Sith with Qui-Gon. Then he and Qui-Gon disappeared into the generator room… Anakin trying to fire at the destroyers attacking Padme and her party. Hitting the wrong controls, closing the canopy, the fighter was moving, then destroying the droids. But the fighter was on auto-pilot and they could not stop.
R2 trying to turn it off. Seeing the control ship. R2 finally disengaging it. Oops they were hit and heading for the hanger bay. The ship's systems were overheated. "Uh oh" Systems back, firing on the droids; hitting the power core. "Oops, let's get out of here." Racing just ahead of the fireball behind them. "Now, this is podracing!" Anakin exclaimed… then out of the control ship and joining in the celebration. "Yippee!"
Then seeing Obi-Wan, sensing his sadness…Darth Maul was dead, but Qui-Gon was gone. Palpatine again. "I will be watching your career with great interest." Early feelings of resentment: Obi-Wan let Qui-Gon die…he didn't want me to be a Jedi…I hate him. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan."
"What will happen to me now?" He asked as they watched Qui-Gon's pyre. "The Council has given me permission to train you; you will be a Jedi, I promise." Obi-Wan heard himself say. "Obi-Wan, are you alright?" "Yes." "We can stop now." "No."
Early years at the Temple. Sneaking out to speak with Palpatine. Palpatine understood him; Palpatine knew that Obi-Wan didn't really want to train him. Only Palpatine could be fully trusted. Does Obi-Wan even like me? The bonding; I can feel his thoughts; can he feel mine as well? Does he even care?
Many years, many missions; many memories. Some of them good, a hand on his shoulder, an encouraging word. Praise at doing well, lectures about sneaking out of the Temple. And then…
The nightmare about his mother haunts him now.
Padme again, after all these years.
"Annie? My how you've grown." She said. "So have you; more beautiful, for a senator that is." Anakin told her….the rest muddled until…"You will learn your place young one." Obi-wan heard himself say. Anakin's anger. "I'm sorry again, Obi-Wan; are you sure you want to keep going?" "Yes."
Later…"You're using her as bait?" "It was her idea." …"You look tired." "I don't sleep well anymore." "Because of your mother?" "I don't know why I keep dreaming about her." "Dreams pass in time."…but these aren't just dreams, don't you understand that? "I'm sorry, Anakin." Then, the confession to Obi-Wan about Padme. "Be mindful of your feelings, Anakin, they betray you. You have made a commitment to the Jedi Order…" Yes, yes, another lecture… Danger! The kahouns…Obi-Wan saw himself diving through the window. "You were reckless, my brother." "Stay with her." Anakin ordered rushing off, panicking….fear…he can't lose Obi-Wan. No, he's like a father to me. The lift is slow, "come on, come on." Finally, now racing to find a speeder and then trying to…calm…reach out. Yes, there he is, but no,…he's falling! No, can't this thing go any faster.
Obi-Wan safe…Zam Wetzel; Obi-Wan saw himself taking her arm off. Questioning her… "Tell us; TELL US NOW!" Then she's dead. A poisonous dart…
His first solo assignment. He can sense that Obi-Wan does not want him to go…Palpatine telling him he would be even more powerful than Master Yoda…and then…Oh, but Padme…Naboo…the Lake country. The picnic by the lake, the dinner…the fireside declaration of his love for her.
"I can't breathe." Anakin said. "We live in the real world, come back to it…." Padme said.
"We could keep it a secret." Anakin proposed. "We'd be living a lie; could live like that, Anakin? Could you live a lie?" Padme asked. "No, you're right; it would destroy us."
Later, the nightmare again, his mother in pain… "Obi-Wan, are you sure you're alright? This is too much, we should stop." "No."
Tatooine, Wattoo telling him his mother had been sold to a moisture farmer. Lars, the name was, Clegg Lars. Now, to Mos Eisley and to the moisture farm. Tuskens took his mother..."She's dead, son." Oh, no, Anakin would know that. Taking the swoop bike, traveling most of the night, getting information from the Jawas. The Tusken camp, and… "Oh, Anakin; I'm so sorry." Her death in his arms; his rage, his…hate…the massacre. Qui-Gon's voice, ignored. Then bringing her back the moisture farm. His anger and grief. "It's all Obi-Wan's fault. He's holding back, he's jealous!" Then his confession to Padme. "…I killed them; I killed them all. And not just the men; but the women…and the children. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them." Padme's comfort and his regret. "I'm a Jedi, I know I'm better than this." His mother's burial…his promise…R2 rolling towards them…the message from Obi-Wan…the attack…NO! I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. "Anakin, we will deal with Count Dooku. You must stay there and protect the Senator at all costs." Mace ordered. "Yes, Master." Anakin said. Oh, but he wanted to save Obi-Wan… "Are you just going to let him die? He's your friend, your mentor." Padme said. "He's like my father. But you heard Master Windu; he gave me strict instructions to stay here." Anakin almost cried. "He gave you strict instructions to protect me and I'm going to help Obi-Wan. So if you're going to protect me, you'd better come along." Oh, yes, thank you, Padme…
Geonosis…the droid factory, Padme in danger…the capture, the trial…the…arena. Padme's declaration of love….Obi-Wan, chained to a pillar…. The creatures they turned out into the arena…. Jedi appearing all over the arena…the battle, many killed….defeat and….rescue! Master Yoda and the Clones. Then seeing the Clone war begin. Intercepting Dooku… "You'll pay for all the Jedi that were killed today, Dooku." Anakin said. Obi-Wan wanting to take him together… Anakin's impatience. Lightning and terrible pain as he was thrown across the room. Vague views of Obi-Wan, absorbing the lightning into his lightsaber, fighting. Dooku striking him, once, then again…Obi-Wan down and in pain. Dooku going for the killing blow…NO! Anakin blocking it, Obi-Wan throwing him the lightsaber he had been using. Anakin fighting now with two weapons, rage and anger building. Dooku killed many of his friends, he hurt Obi-Wan; Dooku would die. And then he made a mistake and Dooku hit him in the arm…terrible excruciating pain and darkness. His arm was gone…an ugly prosthesis replaced it. Would Padme still love him? The marriage, the Dark times…the War…separation from Obi-Wan, rumors of his death. Missing Padme, knighthood. Obi-Wan, alive! Rare and brief meetings with Padme…searching for Dooku and a new enemy, General Grevous. Palpatine's kidnapping and rescue. Obi-Wan's fighter damaged, "Go on, Anakin; there's nothing more you can do here." "Not without you, Master." Crash landing on the Invisible Hand. Relief that Obi-Wan is safe. A search for Palpatine… "I sense Dooku." Anakin said. "I sense a trap." "What should we do?" Anakin asked and sees Obi-Wan's smile. "Spring the trap." Finding Palpatine bound to the general's chair…then Dooku. A threat, a fight; Dooku wants Obi-Wan dead; why? Anakin thrown against a wall and has to watch Dooku's strangle hold on Obi-Wan before he throws him over the railing to the floor below and then pins him under the balcony floor. Anakin enraged again. Attacking fiercely, driving Dooku back and then finally disarming him by cutting off his hands. "Gooood, Anakin, good." Palpatine cooed. "Now, kill him." Anakin's struggle, Palpatine urging him…Anakin crossing Dooku's blade and his own and slicing off Dooku's head. Immediate remorse. "I should not have done that; it's not the Jedi way." Tossing Dooku's blade down. Obi-Wan! Kneeling over him, relief that he is not badly hurt. "Leave him." Palpatine tells him. "The ship is breaking apart." "His fate will be the same as ours." Anakin saying as he clips Obi-Wan's lightsaber to his belt and lifts him to his shoulder. The ship heaving to the side as the Republic ships continue to fire at it. Obi-Wan regaining consciousness and then being trapped and taken to Grevous. Another fight; and Anakin landing what was left of the ship…
A joyous reunion with Padme and the news that she is pregnant. Wanting to reveal their marriage and Padme's desire to keep it a secret. More nightmares of Padme's death….an appointment to the Council, the refusal of Mastership. More anger….Obi-Wan telling him had to spy on the Chancellor…his friend…an opera house meeting with Palpatine. The Jedi and the Sith are the same, he told him. No, that's not true, and he told him that….Darth Plageus….The power to stop people from dying. "The Dark Side is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural." "Is it possible to learn this power?" Anakin asked. "Not from a Jedi." Palpatine told him. And still the nightmare persisted and this time, Obi-Wan was in it. Obi-Wan sent to Utapau without him. Palpatine revealed himself as a Sith. Knowing he must tell someone, wanting to tell Obi-Wan…telling Mace. Mace telling him to stay at the Temple. Anakin fearing Palpatine will die and the secret will die with him. Anguish… "Obi-Wan?" "Keep going." Conflict within, the decision to go….Mace being bombarded with Force lightning and turning it back on Palpatine. "I'm weak, help me, Anakin; I can't hold it." Palpatine moaning. The lightning subsiding and Mace going for the killing blow. "No, you can't; it's not the Jedi way." Anakin pleading. "I'm going to end this now." Mace says and raises his lightsaber. "Anakin, don't let him kill me." Palpatine begging. Anakin…Anakin, raising his own blade to block Mace and….and…takes his hand off with it. "ARGGGGGGHH" Mace screams as he clutches his arm. "Unlimited power!" Palpatine screams and unleashes a vicious attack on Mace throwing him out the window. Anakin dropping his lightsaber and falling to his knees. "What have I done?" He murmurs. "Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan? OBI-WAN!"