Chapter 4 – Tatooine

Author's Note: Enjooooy the angst! Warnings are at the end. :)

~ Amina Gila

When Qui-Gon first told Obi-Wan of the time-travel, somehow, he thought he wouldn't end up right back here where he started on Tatooine. He should have expected it, though. He's only one person, and there's only so much he can do – especially given the very short time frame that he had to work with.

He saved many more of the Jedi – he doesn't know how many, but a lot got out, and that's one thing. But he still feels...

Empty. Dead.

He wanted to save Anakin. He wanted to help the Order too, but maybe it's selfish that what he wanted most was to save Anakin. He just wants his padawan (his brother, his child) back, and now, he knows he never will again.

The time-travel was a onetime thing, not something that will ever be repeated. The fact that he's in the past hardly feels real at times, as is.

Obi-Wan thought he didn't let himself get his hopes up about it, but he can't deny feeling a smothering... Disappointment is far too weak a word for it. He wanted to change this most of all, and he failed.

Again.

Vader hadn't gotten far in his massacre at the Temple – he'd just gotten started, really – but... He would have finished it if Obi-Wan hadn't planned to deal with him.

And he can never understand how Anakin could do that. He wishes he could believe that there was more of Anakin in him than he thought, but... He'd hoped that for Vader too, that last time they'd fought, and when he'd seen his face against for the first time in a decade.

Obi-Wan stands next to Vader's motionless form, for a moment, just watching him. Standing here next to him hurts. It hurts having Anakin so near, yet still unreachably far.

Even if Anakin was more there than he thought, it wouldn't change what he's already done. It wouldn't change that Obi-Wan saw him killing Jedi, this time in person. (They were trying to kill him first.) He didn't go nearly as far as he did the last time around, but Obi-Wan doesn't know if that's really changed anything. Not truly. It would hurt too much to let himself hope, only to realize that his padawan was already truly lost forever.

He tears his gaze away from Vader, throwing a glance around the all too familiar cave. He picked the same one he stayed in before – why wouldn't he, after all? There's nowhere else they can stay.

The cave reminds him so much of the past ten years he spent here in another time, and before, he wanted to just be away from it, so he could try to let go of all those years he spent mourning Anakin, believing it had been him who he killed that day. But that didn't happen here, and the cave doesn't feel of all those years, since they just came here. It's the best place they can stay right now, in any case.

It's hardly a secure place to keep Vader confined, but there's only one entrance, so to escape, Vader will have to go past Obi-Wan, and he's a little too injured to be going far right now. He took off the Force restraints because leaving them on any Force sensitive very long is never good. Their lightsabers are buried together again, somewhere out in the desert, though, so that won't be a problem.

It's going to be awkward, sharing the same small living space with a Sith. Really, though, is he a Sith? He feels dark, but not in a dark way. It's not of the Dark Side, really. It isn't like it was with Vader in Obi-Wan's time. (Somehow, the cave still feels less empty and lonely, even if it's very undesirable company.)

The sight of the Sith in the corner keeps catching all of his attention, though, and finally he moves a little closer.

Vader doesn't look very good right now. His face is slightly flushed, a serious indication that he has a fever. (It reminds him so much of those times during the war, when he had to take care of an injured Anakin, who spent half the time trying to pretend that he was fine.)

It's high time that he lets him wake up. After Padme was out of there, Obi-Wan drugged him to keep him out for the next little while until he was ready to handle him again.

Vader took Anakin from him again, and he can't just forgive that.

Even if he was still Anakin, he's... Obi-Wan can't just forget what he's done or would have done if he'd had the chance.

Obi-Wan doesn't know where things are going to go from here, but all he knows is it won't be easy. (Somehow, he thinks both of them could say that.)

**w**

He can feel Sidious again, reaching through the Force across the galaxy, touching his mind. Demanding answers, demanding to know where he is and why he isn't on Coruscant.

For a fleeting moment, Anakin is almost tempted to answer. Although, he doesn't know where he is, and even if he did, he can't tell the Sith Master. He can't just let him come here and kill Obi-Wan, because Anakin knows this time, there's no way he'll spare him again.

Legally, he shouldn't anyway. But –

Even if Obi-Wan hates him forever (he probably will), Anakin knows he could never let him die. He definitely couldn't be the one to cause it.

He needs to find a way back to Sidious, though, because he has to save Padme and his child, whatever it takes. He hasn't seen the vision again, which is admittedly odd, but that doesn't necessarily mean the danger has passed. He can't risk thinking it has, even if he briefly questions it.

Consciousness returns slowly, unbearably slowly. Anakin's mind feels irritatingly sluggish, and he knows why immediately.

Obi-Wan must have drugged him.

Anakin hates being in this state – he's been in the healer's wing enough times to be far too accustomed to this – with how unnatural and wrong it feels. He's always loathed it, and Obi-Wan knows that, so why did he do it?

The next thing he registers is the feel of the Force around him – he can clearly feel the Force again?! It feels strangely familiar, too familiar. The feel of a place that's been forever burned into his mind –

Anakin opens his eyes, trying to shake off the remaining effects of the drugs as he takes in his surroundings. He's in a cave, he realizes quickly, from the rocky walls around and above him. Sunlight streams in the entrance, and beyond that, all he sees is sand.

Very familiar sand.

Tatooine.

That's – so that's why place feels so familiar. Because he's – why is he here?!

Obi-Wan is moving around right nearby, and Anakin stiffens instantly. He's not radiating fury in quite the same way he was before, but it's definitely still there. He's not ready to deal with that, he's not –

He hastily closes his eyes again, wishing for a moment that maybe he'll just be ignored. He doesn't want another conversation like that again. Not right now.

He can't handle it again. It's too much already, that Padme and his child could be about to die, and he's doing nothing to stop it, and that he doesn't even know when or if he'll see her again either way. He doesn't know how long he'll be here, or –

"I know you're awake." Obi-Wan's voice breaks the relative silence of the cave.

Anakin opens his eyes again, immediately moving to push himself upright as his former master approaches. The movement hurts, but he ignores it. He's not going to stay in that vulnerable of a position if he has the choice, not when he... (Obi-Wan hurt him, and –) "Where are we?" he rasps, past the dryness in his throat. The air is hot, even in here. How long has he been out?

"I'm surprised you aren't more familiar with your home planet." Obi-Wan looks weird, and it finally registers in his still a little foggy mind why that is. He's dressed completely differently, something more to blend in on Tatooine. It looks wrong.

"Why are we here?"

"We needed somewhere to lay low," he replies, and some of that ice is back in his voice, "Somewhere you won't be a danger to anyone."

Anakin forces his expression neutral. Obi-Wan is probably trying to get a reaction out of him, and he won't give him that. He's quite accustomed to this, even if he's never had to do it with Obi-Wan before. This isn't his master, his friend, his... anything. It's his captor, and Anakin needs to remember to treat him as such. Staying silent is the wisest option, so he does.

Obi-Wan seems to realize he isn't getting a response. "Do you want to eat?" he asks, instead.

Anakin mutely shakes his head. He's not in the state he could ever do that right now. The physical (and emotional) pain is too much.

"You'll have to change out of those," he comments, gesturing to Anakin's Jedi robes, as he passes him water.

Right. Because the Jedi robes would be too obvious here, though it's not as if anyone will see until Anakin leaves the cave. Whenever that will be.

Actually, it's going to be the first chance he gets, because he needs to get out of here. He has to find a way back to Coruscant. He won't be able to do it when Obi-Wan is watching him though, so... he'll probably have to wait until the middle of the night.

It'll be easier without the sun, but it'll also be more dangerous when he doesn't even have a lightsaber. He can't even sense Obi-Wan's that close by, but he knows they're somewhere out in the desert.

Anakin makes a quiet sound of acknowledgement, taking the water from him.

"Do you want a painkiller?" Obi-Wan asks, eyeing him.

"No," Anakin answers, stiffly.

Obi-Wan makes a noise of annoyance, turning away. "Take this," he orders, setting it near him before moving off across the cave again.

The silence that falls between them is uncomfortable. He doesn't know what to say, actually he doesn't want to say anything, and it's never wise for a prisoner to invite attention to themselves.

His former master doesn't seem sure what to say either, moving to the other side of the cave and shuffling through some of the few possessions they have there – though it looks more like an effort to pretend he's doing something.

Anakin has so many questions, though, if they really are going to live on Tatooine. He can't imagine just living at all. He's always had some mission, something important he needed to do, and right now, the same is true.

His first objective is to get out of here, so he needs to find a way.

Anakin spends most of the day resting, though restlessness is crawling under his skin constantly. He doesn't like having to wait when he has a mission to carry through with, and it's worse when it's the life of his family on the line. It gives him time to notice that Obi-Wan seems... Something about him really isn't quite right. His Force presence still seems different, like it did that morning Anakin had found out he wasn't going to Utapau after all. It feels like a lifetime ago now. Was it only... yesterday? Or a few days ago. He has no idea how long he was unconscious.

Night comes quickly enough, and Obi-Wan finally settles onto the floor a short distance away from him just like they often used to during the war. But nothing is like it used to be any more.

He knew his relationship with Obi-Wan would change completely when he left the Order to be with Padme, but... this is different. Worse. He hasn't felt this alone in years, if ever, but he tries to force that aside, focusing on the mission.

Obi-Wan's breathing finally evens out, and Anakin lays there listening to it for a while, just to make sure, before climbing to his feet. His heart pounds as he circles around him, making his way over to the entrance. If his former master catches him, he'll – He doesn't know. Doesn't want to. (He'll be more furious than he already is, and the adrenaline that fear gives him is enough to move him forwards, past the pain.)

The moons shine brightly overhead, dimly illuminated the endless stretches of sand. From the looks of it, they're somewhere in the Dune Sea.

Memories surface unwillingly, remembering that night and when he brought his mother's body back to the Lars. When she died because he wasn't fast enough to save her. He won't fail again. Pain pulses through his side, sharp and cutting as he starts walking, and a wave of dizziness hits him seconds later. He feels dangerously unsteady, but he can't stop to rest right now. He has to get to the city. He has to –

**w**

Obi-Wan isn't sure what woke him, but what hits him instantly is the blindingly bright presence that isn't next to him. Being around Anakin, feeling him all day when he hasn't for so many years has been...

He sits up immediately, to see Vader's spot near him empty. The rest of the cave is, too. Of course. He knew this would happen. Why didn't he expect it to be now?

Obi-Wan thought Vader would be a little too injured to go far, but he's clearly determined. To get back to Sidious. The thought instantly floods him with fury. Why is he so stubbornly on the side of the Sith?! Obi-Wan doesn't think he'll ever understand it.

He stands, stepping out of the cave. The tracks in the sand are still fairly fresh. He just needs to follow them as quickly as he can. If he catches up with Vader, defeating him again in this state shouldn't be hard. It's not as if he even has a weapon.

He doesn't have to look far. Vader is lying motionless on the ground not more than ten meters away.

Something twists sharply in him at the sight, and he doesn't know if it's more from sheer irritation at how incredibly Anakin it is for him to try escaping when he can't even walk properly, or... concern. (Because somewhere way inside, he can't deny the concern that floods him instantly. He might not be Anakin anymore – maybe – but he still looks and feels like him, and it makes it so much harder.)

Obi-Wan hurries to his side, kneeling next to him. He looks more than a little strange in the much lighter clothes he's wearing now, but he doesn't let himself be distracted by it. There's also a small but disturbingly darker area on his side; the wound probably started bleeding again.

Why, why must he make this more difficult than it already is?

Vader is starting to stir already, by the time he gets him back to the cave, setting him on the ground. He senses a flare of confusion, then fear as the Sith wakes.

"Did you really think escaping would be that simple?"

Vader glances at him, expression unreadable. "I could hope," he snaps.

"What? You're that determined to go back to Sidious?"

"I have to!" Vader yells. "You don't understand."

"What do I not understand?" Obi-Wan asks acidly, "This was your choice, Vader."

He winces. "You chose to bring me here," he replies bitterly, "And to betray the Republic."

Back to this argument again? They already talked about it more than enough on the ship, and he has little desire to continue it. "There was no Republic left to betray, with how much control Palpatine had," he retorts, "And we did not betray the Republic by trying to remove it's corrupt dictator."

Vader's expression is tensed with pain, he notices, and... he'll have to do something about that, whether he likes it or not. The wound is still bleeding, and he can't leave it unattended for much longer. "That does not – change what it was."

"What's wrong with you?" Obi-Wan bites back, "Are you this determined to believe what you did was right?"

"Killing criminals is all I've ever done," he retorts. "It's all I've ever been good at."

"You're being ridiculous," he snaps, although on second thought, maybe to a point, it's true. But that's the polar opposite of what he just did do because it's not as if the Jedi are criminals.

"I'm not. All I've ever down is follow orders from you and the Council."

"Really. I find it difficult to believe they're the ones who told you to kill the younglings."

Vader flinches, turning away. "I didn't –"

"But you would have." Maybe he doesn't blame him for what he hasn't done yet, but it doesn't change that it would have happened if Obi-Wan hadn't stopped him. "For claiming to listen to the Council, I fail to see how much worse of a Jedi you could have been. And I don't want to hear about how you 'had to'."

He's expecting some kind of snarky comeback, but Vader says nothing. His head is turned to the side, and he's looking down, not meeting his gaze, the way Anakin so often did when they were having a... difficult conversation. He wishes everything would stop making him think of his padawan when he's so close but so far out of reach.

Obi-Wan's gaze trails down to the growing blood spot on his robes. "I need to see your... injury."

"I don't need help," Vader bites out.

"Which is why you were perfectly capable of walking back to the cave when you were unconscious." It's not as if Obi-Wan even wants to help him right now, but he won't leave him to bleed out just because he's angry. Even if a part of him can't help but questioning if keeping him alive is really the right decision. Obi-Wan knows what his duty as a Jedi is in this situation, but it's...

Vader shifts his position, moving onto his side and pulling up his robes enough that Obi-Wan can see the wound. It's far from healed, and part of it tore open, probably from when he was so intelligently moving so much. He gets to work stopping the bleeding, trying to bandage it up as much as he can, given their medical supplies. "You know this is only going to heal if you stop moving so much," he grumbles.

Vader remains stubbornly silent, unless he's just ignoring him. Which is fine. Any conversation they have is nothing but an argument at this point anyway.

It's the slightly louder than normal and shaky breathing that draws his attention to Vader's face. His head is turned partly away from him, and the cave is extremely dark, but Obi-Wan can still make out a suspicious wetness on his cheeks.

It makes him still for a moment because what? Why is he...

An unidentifiable emotion tightens in his chest, or maybe it's just how much this reminds him of Anakin so many times during the war. When he was injured, and Obi-Wan had been worried of something far worse happening to him. When...

It's hard to tell in the darkness, but Vader's face is still tensed with pain, and it looks concerningly flushed. Obi-Wan can't say what prompts him to reach over, lightly touching his forehead for a moment. (He ignores how Vader stills completely under the touch, and how much he himself wants it. This isn't his padawan.)

His head is concerningly hot; the fever seems worse if anything, unless it's just because of the circumstances. Obi-Wan pulls back, frowning. "You have a fever."

"Do I?" he asks. He sounds like he's crying, faintly, now that Obi-Wan is looking for it. And it doesn't really make sense, because Vader's a Sith and Sith don't cry. They don't... feel pain like that.

"You need to be resting," he answers instead of commenting, because he has no idea how he'd begin to address that fact. "I've done what I can," he tells him, after an almost awkward pause of silence, stepping away. The wound should be fine, so long as it doesn't get torn open again. That will be entirely up to Vader.

Maybe Obi-Wan should take some precautions, though. Vader isn't going to stay this injured forever, and it'll be far harder to control him then. Maybe he could rig an alarm to go off if someone ever leaves the cave at night. If he can find the time to do that discreetly. At least that'll be a start.

**w**

When Anakin opens his eyes again, he can feel the heat of the suns cooking the air, as always. The cave is lit brightly, so it must be significantly past sunrise. He must've slept quite late, unsurprisingly. In the war he had to grow used to sleeping whenever they had the chance, and whenever they could sleep, they all usually did for a very long time.

The pain in his side has faded to a dull ache, and he still feels hot, not that that's even a concern right now. He was supposed to escape, to go back to Sidious so he could save Padme and his child, and he failed. Again.

He's exhausted, worn. Obi-Wan was right about him having a fever. He chalked it up to being so tired last night, but no. He does not feel good at all, and he doesn't have time for this, because he can't let his family die. But what can he do if he can't even get off Tatooine?

He can't even get away from this cave. Obi-Wan is moving around somewhere close by. Judging from the occasional strange metallic and clanging noises, he's doing something outside right nearby. There's no way Anakin can get past him right now, not in this state.

And Anakin really doesn't want to deal with him right now, anyway.

"I fail to see how much worse of a Jedi you could have been."

All he did all these years was try to be a good Jedi, until he finally realized he never would be, even though he doesn't understand why. He doesn't know what he's doing that he's never good enough for them – for Obi-Wan.

But he couldn't save his mother, and he can't even save his wife and child either. What has he ever not failed at? He doesn't know what's so wrong or broken about him that he's incapable of doing anything right, but maybe that's why no one ever wants him. Why even Padme seemed...

But he still needs to save her. He won't be able to do that just by laying here.

He has to find some other way out of here... Don't they have a speeder around or something? They must have some way of transport because there's no way they have enough resources to last for long.

Anakin waits a little longer, before he finally drags himself to his feet, a little unsteadily, and heads out of the cave.

Obi-Wan is working on fixing a yet to be installed vaporator, but pauses, looking up when he sees him. "Can you stand?" he asks, frowning. He's always frowning, but it seems more upset than worried now, and it hurts so much to face this. It's a struggle to ignore the part of his mind that wants to cave in and beg forgiveness.

"I am, aren't I?" he shoots back.

"You were last night too," he retorts.

"I'm fine," Anakin counters, taking a few steps closer, just to prove he can.

"You can help, then," Obi-Wan replies, tersely, "We need to get this working."

When precisely did he learn this much about how people live on Tatooine, anyway? Anakin keeps any comments to himself, like about if he really thinks they'll be living here that long that they'll actually need one of these.

Anakin moves closer, taking a seat on the ground across from him as they get to work repairing the thing. They work in relative silence, except for an occasional comment on what they're doing. Even then, there's a tension there. Everything is strained, awkward, and he doesn't like it at all, but there's nothing he can do about it.

"I'm beginning to think they intentionally sold me something inoperable," Obi-Wan huffs, as they work.

"That's normal," Anakin replies, lightly, "But I can fix it." Everything is a lot easier when he's fixing things – why is this the only thing he ever can fix?

And is it just him, or does Obi-Wan seem slightly better at this than he remembers?

"Finished yet?" he grumbles.

"Yes. I –" He pauses, at the faint sound of beeping from somewhere in the cave. "What's..."

"You can –" Obi-Wan pauses, frowning, scanning the sand dunes surrounding them, probably guessing at the likelihood of Anakin running off during whatever call he's getting, "Come inside," he finishes instead, disappearing into the cave.

WARNING: Emotionally abusive relationships and nonconsensual drug use.

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