No Day But Today
DISCLAIMER: I do not own RENT or anything affiliated with it.
A/n: Wow. I was just reading some of Anthony Rapp's blogs on the movie site… I didn't know he'd lost his own mom to cancer. Anything that I've put in that sounds like Anthony's book, Without You is unintentional. I've only read the excerpt that's available on Amazon.
"You'll catch a cold out here," Mimi said, coming out onto the fire escape, where Mark had been camped out for the last hour. He and Roger had gotten into another argument over selling the camera; Roger wouldn't hear of it.
"So will you," was the caustic reply. She just shook her head and wrapped a blanket she'd brought out around his shoulders. "Do you mind? This is about as far from Roger as I can get, and if you're out here, he'll follow you soon."
"He went to meet Maureen and Joanne for lunch. And I thought you looked like you could use someone to talk to," Mimi replied. She and Mark weren't exactly the best of friends, but they both knew they could count on one another when it mattered.
"I miss her," Mark said, staring off down Avenue B.
"Your mom?" she asked. He nodded.
"I've even begun to miss the annoying phone calls every week… Cindy's too wrapped up in her life with Jeff to care, and I doubt my dad's been sober for more than an hour since she died." Mimi moved closer and wrapped an arm around him.
"It'll get better," she said. He just nodded.
"Yeah, it'll get better. But then my dad'll drink himself into liver failure and everything'll get screwed up again," Mark replied. "I can't take Cindy anymore. She's starting to act just like him… I'm scared for the kids."
"What do you mean?" Mimi asked. He just shook his head.
"We should go back inside. My toes are starting to go numb," he said, standing up and turning back towards the window. He ducked inside before Mimi could reply, and she had no choice but to follow.
"Mark, what did you mean when you said you were scared for Cindy's kids?" Mimi asked again. He just shook his head and headed into his room.
"Nothing. Just forget I said anything," he replied, shutting the door behind himself. She sighed and just sat down on the couch.
"SPEAK."
"Mark, it's Jeff… Cindy wanted me to call you… there was an accident, Mark…"
"Jeff? It's Mark."
"Thank God. I didn't want to do this to your answering machine," Jeff replied.
"What's happened now?" Mark asked, even though he really knew what Jeff was going to say.
"Your dad… he died this morning… alcohol poisoning," Jeff explained. Mark rolled his eyes.
"Thanks, Jeff. Tell Cindy I can't make the funeral, okay?"
"Mark, don't do this… not now of all times," Jeff said. Mark just shook his head.
"Jeff, just mind your own damn business. I'm not coming, end of story," he replied. He started coughing again and had to put down the phone. When he finally managed to catch his breath, he returned to the conversation.
"Shit, Mark, what's happened?" Jeff asked.
"Just do me a favor, okay? Watch Cindy," Mark said, hanging up the phone. He ran his fingers through his messy hair and sighed.
"Mark…" Roger started. Mark turned around and smiled.
"I'm fine."
"We'll find the money if you want to go," Mimi told him.
"I don't."
"He's your father," Mimi said.
"And that's a fact I'd much rather forget," Mark told her. "I have really good reasons for wanting to stay as far away from my family as possible."
Maureen walked into the Life Café and smiled as she walked over toward the table where Mark had camped out. He'd desperately needed to get out of the loft and away from Roger and Mimi promising to find money so he could go back to Scarsdale.
"You want to talk?" she asked. He nodded.
"Jeff called this afternoon… my dad died this morning," he replied, staring down into his tea.
"I'm sorry Pookie," she replied.
"I'm not." He looked up at her. "There's just a lot of shit there."
"Wanna tell me why you're acting like your father's death is a good thing?" Maureen asked. Mark sighed and looked back down into his tea.
"I've never told anyone before. It's too personal…" Mark said. Maureen reached out and took his hand.
"I'm your friend, okay? Whatever you tell me goes no further," she told him. He nodded and took a deep breath before beginning.
"My dad was such a bastard… when I was thirteen, I caught him fucking his secretary in the bathroom at my Bar Mitzvah. My mom was at home with Cindy because she was sick, and on the way home he slapped me on the back of my head and said that if I ever told anyone what I'd seen, I'd get a lot worse," Mark told her. He forced a smile, but still didn't look at Maureen. "He ignored me for about three weeks after that." He sighed again. "Then he decided that I needed him to give me a good reason to keep quiet. From then on, whenever we were alone in the house, he'd yell at me… hit me if he thought he needed to. Cindy came home once… she just went into her room and ignored it."
"Mark…" she began. She couldn't think of anything else to say.
"When I was sixteen, we went on a camping trip… just the two of us. I told my mom I didn't want to go, but she wouldn't let me stay home… said we needed some father-son bonding time," he said, smirking at the thought. "He told my mom I tripped hiking out to the campsite."