Chapter 24 Qui-Gon's Wisdom

"Why don't you go up to the house and help Lady Padme?" Anakin suggested.
Zak looked down at Obi-Wan, "I don't want to leave; what if something happens?" He said.

"Nothing will happen in the short time you'll be gone. Besides, I'm going to be here." Anakin assured him.

"I don't know." Zak replied with uncertainty.

"Go on, Zak; he'll be fine, I promise." Anakin urged.

Well, alright; I guess as long as you're here." Zak answered reluctantly.

"Good, because you know Boba; who knows what he's doing up there." Anakin said, smiling.

Zak touched Obi-Wan's shoulder as he stood up, "I won't be gone too long, Master." He said. "And Master Anakin is going to stay here with you."

Anakin watched him as he walked back up to the house; turning around every few steps, looking back, until the stand of bushes blocked his view.

"You're like his father, Obi-Wan; just like you were to me. He needs you right now." Anakin said to his unresponsive brother. "I need you."

He put his hand on Obi-Wan's upper arm and immediately felt Obi-Wan's presence welling up from the depths where it had been hiding. "That's it, my brother; come on, I'm here." He said.

Anakin reached out into Obi-Wan's mind, probing to see what Obi-Wan was seeing…

------------

The hot volcanic atmosphere of Mustafar appeared in front of him, and he watched himself as the events played out. They are in the midst of the fight there, with Obi-Wan trying desperately and unsuccessfully to convince Anakin of Palpatine's treachery. "I have failed you, Anakin; I have failed you." He heard his brother say. Anakin watched himself back flip over Obi-Wan to land on the edge of the droid platform Obi-Wan is occupying. Obi-Wan takes a feeble swing at him as he passes over. "It's over for you, Master." Anakin is saying. The platform is floating close to an outcrop of land and Obi-Wan leaps to it. "It's over, Anakin; I have the high ground." Obi-Wan tells him. "You underestimate my power." Anakin answers. "Don't be a fool, Anakin; don't try it." Obi-Wan warns. Anakin watched himself leap over Obi-Wan…"Why am I doing that?…and Obi-Wan…swings blindly, yes…he's not even looking!...Anakin watched…and tried to look away…"OH, NO, NOT AGAIN!" Anakin "heard" Obi-Wan thinking. …He drops to the ground, only his prosthetic arm remains, and he tries to pull himself up. "You were the Chosen One; it was said that you would destroy the Sith not join them; bring balance to the Force not leave it in Darkness." He heard his anguished brother cry out….he felt his own hate and anger building until…"I hate you." Comes out…"You were my brother, Anakin, and I loved you."…"Obi-Wan? It's over now; please come back."

Anakin's hope turned to disappointment and despair, as he felt Obi-Wan's consciousness retreating once again. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan; I'm so sorry. I knew you'd turn away from me; but not like this." He cried, the tears flowing, unchecked. "Just come back and I promise you'll never have to look at me again; please."

However, Obi-Wan only slipped deeper and Anakin wept openly.

------------

Obi-Wan found himself back again within the confines of his Temple quarters.

"This is more complex than I thought, Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon said from Obi-Wan's chair.

"I don't understand, Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan replied. "I can remember it now, I accept that it never happened, why am I back here?"

"That's a very good question; but one that you will have to find the answer to." Qui-Gon answered.

"And if I can't?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Then your physical body will waste away and you will die; and part of Anakin will die with you." Qui-Gon told him.

Obi-Wan sat down on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands in contemplation, "I would have done it; if Anakin had turned, that's what I would have done." He said finally.

"Yes; and that's the part you can't accept." Qui-Gon replied.

"Then I'll never be able to leave here; will I?" Obi-Wan said despondently.

"No. Not if you can't get past that." Qui-Gon answered. "And I don't think you'll be able to do it without help."

"You mean Anakin." Obi-Wan guessed.

"Yes; I think he can teach you how." Qui-Gon replied.

"Well, that's it then." Obi-Wan said with resignation. "I can't get out of here to ask for his help and he can't reach me."

"Obi-Wan, I've never known you to give up hope so easily. There's always a way." Qui-Gon told him cryptically.

"What way? I can't reach him; I can't get past Mustafar." Obi-Wan replied.

"Ah, you can't, but I can. I can always reach him; if I had seen what was truly preventing you from going back, I would have guided him here before this." Qui-Gon answered. "Would you like me to do this?"

"Will it hurt him?" Obi-Wan asked.

"No, on the contrary, it will help him too; to understand what he is capable of." Qui-Gon told him.

"Then yes, Master; I have no other choice, do I." Obi-Wan said.

Qui-Gon smiled without answering, "Stay put, I will be back shortly." He said and then opened the door and walked out.

"Where would I go?" Obi-Wan said to the empty room.

------------

"He hasn't turned away from you, Anakin." Qui-Gon said.

"Qui-Gon?" Anakin replied, wondering if he had been hearing things.

"Yes; he hasn't turned away from you." Qui-Gon said again.

"He has; he's ashamed of what I did; he's ashamed that I might have done those things." Anakin replied.

"No, Anakin; he understands that you did not do it, any of it." Qui-Gon answered.

"Then why is he doing this?" Anakin asked. "I've done this too soon; too soon after Baylor. That's it, isn't it?"

"No, that's not it." Qui-Gon said.

"Then what is it?" Anakin asked.

"He's hiding from himself." Qui-Gon told him. "From what he did."

"What he did?" Anakin puzzled.

"Yes, he maimed you, Anakin; he's having a difficult time accepting that." Qui-Gon said.

"But it never happened; doesn't he realize that?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, but it's more complicated than that." Qui-Gon answered.

"Why?" Anakin asked.

"Because if you had turned, he knows that's what he would have done." Qui-Gon replied. "Can you see now why it is so hard for him?"

"Oh…then you'll have to make him understand that he wasn't fighting me on Mustafar; he was fighting Darth Vader." Anakin said.

"Yes, that's how you reconcile what happened in your nightmares." Qui-Gon replied.

Anakin nodded. "Master Yoda taught me to separate myself from Vader. Then I could accept that I wouldn't…wouldn't do what happened in the nightmare; but Vader would have." Anakin said. "That's what you have to tell Obi-Wan; that he wouldn't have been fighting me; he would have been fighting what I'd become."

"I don't think he would accept that, Anakin." Qui-Gon replied. "Not from me."

"Well, I know he would from me, but I can't reach him; I've tried." Anakin said.

"You have it in you to find him." Qui-Gon told him.

"No, Master; I've already tried and failed; and now he's lost." Anakin answered.

"No, Anakin; he's not; not yet." Qui-Gon insisted. "You are the Chosen One, the most powerful Jedi alive; you have the ability to do many things, including saving your brother."

"Tell me how, Qui-Gon and I'll do it." Anakin said eagerly.

"You must go through Obi-Wan's experience with him." Qui-Gon replied.

"But haven't we already done that? I've seen what he did and so has he." Anakin protested. "Isn't that what's done this to him?"

"You don't understand yet, Anakin; you have both gone through it alone. You, in your nightmare experiencing it; then, Obi-Wan watching your memory of that nightmare and finally you feeling what Obi-Wan felt as he went through it again. Never were you with him or he with you." Qui-Gon explained.

"I'm sorry, Qui-Gon; I still don't understand. I thought we were already together." Anakin replied, even more confused.

"It is difficult to understand, I know; but you must do more than just let him see that part that has driven him within. You see, he is like an observer, you must observe with him; does that make more sense?" Qui-Gon went on.

"Oh, yes; I think I do. But how do I reach him now? I tried, and I just couldn't, he was too far away." Anakin said.

"Because you weren't focusing enough; you can only reach him through very deep meditation." Qui-Gon answered.

"I can't do that out here; there are too many distractions." Anakin replied decisively. "Is it safe to move him?"

"Oh, yes." Qui-Gon told him. "Just don't wait too long, Anakin; the longer this goes on, the more difficult it will be for him to come back."

"Then I'll just have to do it now." Anakin answered.

------------

Zak had a stack of plates in his hands, ready to take them out to the veranda when he spotted Anakin coming toward the house with his master on his back.

"Umm…Lady Padme." He said.

"What is it, Zak? I have my hands full at the moment." She replied as she tried to spoon one more mouthful of cereal into Luke's mouth.

"I think you should see this." Zak answered.

"Here Boba; see what you can do with this." Padme said, handing the bounty hunter her spoon.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Boba asked.

"Finish feeding him." Padme answered.

"Never mind, Padme dear, I can do that." Jobal said as she came into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Mom." Padme replied as she went to the veranda door. "Now, what….oh my." She finished quietly.

"Zak, open the door." Anakin said when he had reached the veranda.

Zak obeyed without question and Anakin stepped inside.

"What are you doing, Anakin?" Padme asked as he passed her on his way to the dining room.

"Saving my brother's life." Anakin answered without pausing.

"But I thought you said last night that you shouldn't move him." Padme asked as she followed him.

"That was last night; now I know what I have to do." Anakin replied. "Zak, I need you."

"Yes, Master Anakin." Zak said as he brought up the rear.

"What are you going to do?" Padme asked.

"I told you; save my brother's life." Anakin answered.

"Yes, I heard you the first time; but I want to know how you think you're going to do it." Padme said.

"Padme, I don't have time for this now." Anakin replied impatiently.

"Just tell me what you're going to do, Anakin." Padme requested.

"I need to reach him; it's the only way. I need to be alone to concentrate." Anakin told her.

"Is it dangerous?" Padme asked, suddenly concerned.

"I don't know; but I have to do this or he'll never…I just have to do it." Anakin answered.

They had reached Anakin's private meditation room; the door was open and Anakin paused before he went in. He turned to Zak.

"No one is to come near us, Zak; do you understand?" Anakin instructed. "You stay right here and make sure I'm not disturbed for any reason."

"I understand, Master." Zak assured him.

Anakin caught a glimpse of Padme face before he turned back into the room.

"It will be alright, Padme; please, don't worry. But this is something I have to do, for myself and for Obi-Wan. You can understand that, can't you?" Anakin said.

"Yes, Anakin; he's your brother. You have no choice, I understand." Padme answered. "Just don't get lost too."

"I promise." Anakin replied as he kissed her on the top of her head. "Oh, Zak, I forgot to bring in the blanket; could you get it for me?"

"I'll be right back." Zak said as he disappeared down the hall.

"Is there anything I can do, Annie?" Padme asked. "Will you need anything?"

"Water; Obi-Wan hasn't had anything to drink since yesterday. When he comes around, he'll be thirsty." Anakin answered.

"I'll bring a pitcher." Padme replied and headed back to the kitchen.

Anakin went into the room and slowly lowered Obi-Wan to the padded floor. Moments later, Zak appeared in the doorway and waited until Anakin looked up and beckoned him to come in.

"I brought the pillow too." He said.

"Good thinking, little brother." Anakin replied. "Look, Zak; you're not to worry, alright? Master Obi-Wan will be just fine."

"I hope so." Zak answered.

He waited in the room until Padme had returned with a pitcher of cool water.

"Thank you, my love." He said as she placed the pitcher on the floor nearby.

"I'll keep the children away from here." She told him as he stood up to kiss her.

"Thank you." He replied.

"See you soon." Padme said.

"No one gets in here, Zak." Anakin instructed one last time as Zak and Padme walked out of the room.

"No one; yes, Master Anakin." Zak confirmed as he turned to close the door behind him.

When the door closed, Anakin turned his attention to Obi-Wan, first placing the pillow under his head and then covering him with the blanket.

"Alright, my brother; let's get this over with." He said as he took a centering breath and closed his eyes in preparation for the task ahead.