He Tells All
by: Bishojo Beauty
Chapter 12
Tifa choked in both fear and from the digits of Vincent's claw constricting around her neck. She managed to choke out his name, and at this, he flew off of her and isolated himself on the other side of the tent leaving Tifa gasping for breath.
Putting a hand to her throat, the brunette watched as Vincent struggled for words. It took a while before he finally regained his composure and became the Vincent that Tifa had grown familiar with.
"My apologies, Tifa. Please forgive me," he finally said. He did not expect, nor did he want Tifa to forgive him. It was merely a request that was polite to make. He felt he deserved no forgiveness from those he hurt.
"It's okay, Vincent. I know you didn't mean it," Tifa replied. Upon hearing this, Vincent turned his eyes towards Tifa and was blown away by her smile. It was the last thing that he expected. She was too nice for him.
"I'll forgive you..." Tifa whispered, but trailed off. She suddenly had a very devious idea. Something that could perhaps help push Vincent in the right direction and open up more. Vincent slightly raised his eyebrows at her strange behaviour.
"On one condition," Tifa paused as if asking for permission for her to continue. Vincent was captivated by Tifa's friendliness and forgiving nature, and so nodded in consent.
"I give you a hug," she finally finished.
"What?" Vincent found himself not being able to hold back his shock. It was the last thing he expected.
"Well, it's just that...I just thought you could us a hug," Tifa explained, "But if you don't want one, it's okay..." Tifa finished, trailing off again. Silence stretched between them as Vincent stared at Tifa in bewilderment. Or at least that is what Tifa interpreted his expression to be. She watched as Vincent finally shrugged and nodded. Tifa took this as consent, and flew into Vincent, wrapping her hands around his waist. She heard a funny noise come from Vincent, and then he pulled himself out of her grasp and scurried for the exit of the tent. He was then out and gone, leaving Tifa behind and hurt.
But she understood him, despite what he thought. She figured that there were always underlying motives that made him do the things he does. And she vowed to never overlook these and let them blind her from her perception of the real Vincent Valentine, in which she planned to unlock. Sighing, she opened the tent flap and proceeded to find Vincent. Unfortunately, however, she had no idea where to look.
"He went that way," came a quiet mutter from Kael. His eyes were closed and he laid comfortably against a tree with a finger pointed down a well traveled path. Thanking him, Tifa ran off in the direction that Kael pointed. Upon reaching the end of the trail, she spotted Vincent. They were standing in a large clearing now, and were surprisingly up on a small slope where the view was absolutely spectacular. Down below, there were luscious forests, flowing rivers and small waterfalls. The smell of moist air wafted up to Tifa's nostrils. Tifa observed silently, Vincent's hostile figure. Everything about him spoke of hostility. She approached him as silently as possible. Knowing Vincent, he already knew she was there.
She called his name, but receive not acknowledgment. She walked up to his side, and looked up to his face. He was quite a bit taller than she was, and absolutely beautiful in the morning sunlight. His eyes had that eerie but absolutely alluring glow to them again, and the golden sun gave him a more lively skin colour. His features were very relaxed as his lips weren't pursed into a straight line, his brows weren't furrowed, and his eyes were not narrowed warily. There was something different this time. Finally, he turned to face Tifa, giving her a full view of his face. She reached out to touch his arm, but stopped upon hearing his voice.
"Don't," Was all he said.
"Why?" Tifa had to ask. She knew that he would not explain himself if not asked to. He was too polite to not when asked. At least that was true most of the time. A long paused followed, and Tifa waited patiently for an answer she knew was coming.
"I am a monster. I deserve no form of affection," he finally stated, hanging his head low and turning his back to Tifa. He could not bear to look her in the eye. She reminded him so much of Lucrecia. She had the same love for life and those around her. She did not look at Vincent and fear him like others did because of his Turk reputation. Rather, she chose to look past all of that, and see Vincent for who he really was. But Vincent felt that Tifa was different from Lucrecia. Tifa was not only beginning to see past his cold demeanor, but also beginning to understand what was beneath it all.
"Don't give me that bullshit, Vincent," Tifa finally said. Vincent turned to her in surprise. He had never really heard her use such language before.
"It's about time you see and realize that it's not true. At least not in my eyes," she paused, her eyes softening as she continued.
"Monsters are those that do not feel regret for wrongs they have committed," Tifa cried out. She wanted to show Vincent that he was not what he saw himself to be. His self-image was completely warped.
"I feel nothing. I felt nothing, when I killed, Tifa," Vincent pressed, stepping closer towards Tifa, "I killed those that were innocent, and I gave it no second thought. Can you not call me a monster now?" There was a challenge in his voice. It was menacing, and Tifa couldn't help but be scared. She had never roused such emotion in Vincent before. She hadn't even seen such emotion rise from him ever. Except when they had encountered Hojo.
Vincent could feel something boiling inside him. It was self-loathe. He hated himself for being what he was. But he also accepted it as well. He was a monster inside and out.
"Then what are you atoning for then?" Tifa questioned back at him. Vincent stopped in his slow approach towards Tifa.
"My sins," he said. His voice was low and full of venom.
"Then doesn't that mean you're feeling something?" Tifa questioned.
"Don't speak of what you don't know, Tifa,"
"Don't belittle me as if I'm some innocent child. You think you're the only one who's killed the innocent? I have dirt on my hands as well Vincent, and you don't see me moping around calling myself a monster!" The much smaller Tifa yelled up at Vincent. His stubborn nature was starting to really get to her. She stood fuming as Vincent turned away from her, aiming his deadly glare out towards the horizon.
"You're not the only one who's lost someone they love," Tifa started, but was never able to finish as Vincent turned his stoic gaze at her and what she saw in his eyes struck her mute. It was a mix of so many emotions and it was clear as day.
"You have no idea," Vincent gritted out. This made Tifa want to yell out in frustration and scream in his face. Instead she chose to beat him in the chest with her hands and yell out insults to vent her frustration.
"You selfish idiot! You think I have no idea, but since when did you care to hear about MY past!" Her hand was stopped in mid swing by Vincent's crushing grip. But it didn't stop Tifa.
"You are one pathetic being, you know that, Vincent? All you do is think about yourself and your damn Lucrecia! She's dead! And it seems you are too, for all the emotion you've ever shown," Tifa's words left her lips without her really thinking about what she was screaming about. After she had said them, however, she immediately regretted them. No one of AVALANCHE had ever dared mention Lucretia's name around Vincent in fear of his reaction and here she was screaming about her death. She felt Vincent's grip tighten even more and Tifa couldn't help but cry out in pain. She looked at Vincent for mercy, but she found none. All she saw were his cold dark eyes boring into her own.
"You're right, Tifa. You're right about everything," he finally seethed out as he looked down at her. His eyes darkening menacingly with each word that he grit out of his clenched jaw. This was not the reaction she was looking for in him. And then he began to walk away from her releasing her hand rather forcefully.
"Wait!" Tifa found herself shouting and reaching for his arm. The contact of skin on skin burned Vincent to his very soul, and he reluctantly pulled away from her touch despite the pain it caused him. Tifa hadn't expected him to be so violent either. He was now within mere inches from her face. Tifa could feel his overwhelming presence looming on her, and felt that he was perhaps even trembling ever so slightly in anger. Or was it herself in fear? She couldn't help be feel very intimidated and frightened of him. He was like a wild creature. Unpredictable.
It was the look. It was always the look. The look of absolute fear that was always forever seared into Vincent's memory. The cries of monster that ringed in his ears each time he faced that look. And yet, he could not let go of it. It was a part of him. Everything was, the memories, the gun, the fear, and the monster.
It was the same look of fear he saw in all those he met. The innkeeper, the gunsmith, the old granny down the street. Everyone. But one stuck out like a sore thumb. Lucrecia. He remembered again and again, that very look that struck her speechless that fateful night. The night that was supposed to pull him out of the living hell that he called life, not suck him further and eat him alive. It was a hell that still gnaws at his very conscious.
She looked so much like her. The dark brown hair, the large round eyes and the perfectly lush lips. Vincent found himself becoming lost in the moving lips. They seemed to be saying something. But strangely enough, he couldn't hear anything. All he heard was 'monster, monster, monster' repeated over and over again. Screams, taunts, accusations. He could hear it all.
A dull ache started in his metal appendix. Something that was very out of place. He could feel his fingers twitching. A dull ache also emanated from where he was hit earlier, both in the arm and the leg. He hadn't told anyone about being hit in the leg while they were up in the Nibelheim mountains. It was where he had obtained the one dart from. Suddenly, all in but a second, the pain turned from dull to stabbing.
His last humane thought was simple: what the hell was in that dart?
And then Chaos.
Tifa couldn't help but scream in alarm. One moment he was somewhat fine, and the next he was trembling, twitching, growling and now on the ground holding himself and screaming in pain. She wanted to do something, anything to help ease his torment. She knew what was coming, and when it came she also knew she had no where to run. She bent down and grabbed him by his shoulders. Calling his name, and trying to pull him out of wherever he was.
She caught his eyes on hers. And once again, fear struck her dumb. She merely stared, frozen in place by his gaze. All Vincent saw was that look. It was all he saw and he felt his inner demons raging for it to go away.
"STOP!" The voice that screamed was a mixture of human and beast. Vincent yelled again, and then repeatedly until the word became an utter roar of madness. With a spray of blood, wings tore from Vincent's back and spread out to it's full glory in the daylight. Tifa found, in the next moment, Vincent's claw around her neck once again, this time the grip seemingly unrelinquishing. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't speak, she was scared for her life.
And then as sudden as Chaos came, Chaos was gone. Now in front of her squatted a panting Vincent. His wings were retracting slowly from it's origin and with no more of a small grunt in expression of pain were they gone. Back to where they hid themselves from others views.
Tifa was struck speechless. She had no idea what was happening. She watched in fascination as Vincent began to roll up his arm sleeve. What he revealed earned him a gasp from Tifa. There on his bicep was a large bruise forming around a small puncture in his skin. Upon this sight, Tifa's memories were jolted back to life and she remembered the dart that she had pulled out of Vincent the previous day. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. Her throat and mouth were completely dry, and not a single noise would come from her vocal chords.
With his breathing under better control, Vincent reached his human hand to touch the bruise on his arm. Everything was completely oblivious to Vincent. He had no idea that Tifa sat across from him watching his every move. Something about this discoloured skin tickled at his memories. However, the memory was just out of reach. The thirty years of sleep he had been induced into had made him forget a lot of his past. Though he dreamed, he dreamed not of past experiences. He dreamed of nightmares. He heard a slight murmur come from a nearby source. He raised his head to identify it and he came face to face with Tifa's ragged appearance. Her hair was disheveled and her clothes were full of dirt. Her stared for a while, despite it's disrespectful nature, before he came crashing down on reality. Everything came together now. The red markings around her throat, the dirt on her clothes, and the hidden hand behind her back. He knew what had happened. He didn't need a second more to think. He looked away, unable to look at Tifa any longer.
He had committed yet another sin.
But unknowingly, Tifa had forgiven him before he had even set his eyes on her. She offered him a gentle smile as she moved closer to him. Despite her loud movements, he continued to look away from her. His head was turned to his left and his eyes were cast downwards allowing dark strands of ebony bangs to fall across his eyes and obscure part of his face. He suddenly pierced her with his crimson eyes, and they were full of sorrow and something else she could not quite place.
"Forgive me, Tifa. I have sinned," he uttered in his usual low monotone voice. Tifa couldn't help but let out a little laugh at this.
"Don't be stupid, Vincent. There are underlying factors to all actions. I know you didn't mean to hurt me," Tifa asserted. She, in a way, shocked herself by her own words. She watched as Vincent's eyes narrowed at her, his attitude and posture becoming cold and hostile. What had called for this sudden change, she hoped that it wasn't her. She was merely speaking of what she truly felt. She had a feeling that Vincent wasn't all to believing of her words, perhaps hearing it before.
"How could you forgive me so easily? I've nearly cost you your life." There was fire rising in his voice again, but barely detectable. Tifa found herself unable to provide him with an answer. Why had she forgiven him so easily? She found herself asking herself that question over and over again in her head. He had nearly, like he said, killed her and yet she laughed it off. Now she was starting to understand where Vincent's hostility was coming from.
Vincent lowered his head dejectedly before he struggled slightly to his feet. Exhaustion was etched all over his face. Tifa however, remained seated, watching him from below. He turned quickly to leave, but was stopped upon hearing Tifa's voice. Turning his head slightly over his shoulder he waited for Tifa to continue.
"Your motives were good, Vincent. My heart tells me so," Tifa did not know where she was going with that. She wanted to say something. Anything to make him stay and try to understand her. Vincent turned around to face her now, with a deep scowl on his face. He felt like grabbing her and shaking her in an attempt to put some sense into her brain. He could not understand why one would forgive such a person as himself. But he resisted the urge to do so. Taking several shaky breathes while closing his eyes, he repressed his urge mentally. During this, Tifa had stood up and now came right up to Vincent to look him in the face underneath the bangs. His eyes flew open in alarm upon detecting a presence so near him. Looking into her eyes, he continued to question her mentally, but physically, he could not get himself to voice his thoughts. Whether in fear that he would hurt or feelings or whatever else it could be, he knew not. He continued to lose himself in the depths of her eyes and his thoughts began to drift off deeper.
Tifa fidgeted uncomfortably under Vincent's fixed gaze. He didn't exactly seem to be looking at her and yet he was. She became worried as this continued for a while despite Tifa breaking off the eye contact. He continued to look, and even appeared to be holding his breath. Since the last time Tifa had tried to break Vincent away from his inner thoughts during his sleep, she was greeted with a rather unpleasant response. She became very tempted to pick up the stray branch on the ground and poke him from as far away as the single branch allowed. She heard a throat being cleared as she contemplated using the stick and she turned her head upwards to meet Vincent's back. Somehow, he had managed in such a short period of time to have broken away from his daze, and turn around ever so silently. His hair billowed in the wind as the silence continued to grow between them. Once again, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Trapped in his own inner monologue.
"Tifa, forgive me for doubting you," he finally said. This caught Tifa off guard as she had began to lose herself in her own thoughts as well. He had said it so quietly, that Tifa feared that it was only a fragment of her imagination. Perhaps she had wanted to hear him say something along those lines so badly that her hearing began to play tricks on her. But it was confirmed when he whirled around to face her. He looked even slightly offended for a while that Tifa had pretty much downright denied him of a response. Tifa took this chance to act as quickly as possible.
"I completely understand, Vincent. Don't worry about it," she said as cheerfully as possible without overdoing it. His features seemed to relax more then. Tifa noted that Vincent was definitely more readable without the cloak. Perhaps that was why he was so attached to it. After all, there were no scars on his lower profile that Tifa could see. Tifa noted to herself that more undercover investigation was needed. Tifa nearly giggled at the thought of her attempting to spy on Vincent. For all she knew, he could possibly even know that she had tried to look down his shirt just the night before. She felt his eyes on her again, and she looked up to be met the pair of crimson eyes that seemed contemplating for a fleeting moment. Upon being this close to him, she confirmed what she had thought she saw earlier, golden flecks in his eyes. Now it seemed to not be as frightening anymore. If anything, more stunning than ever. She found herself wondering what colour his eyes were before his "transformation" but her train of thought was broken as he turned to leave. But then, he stopped in midstep. He had only gotten a couple of steps away from her before stopping again. He turned back around and faced her. She caught the fleeting moment of contemplation across his eyes once more.
Tifa watched him curiously as he seemed to ponder about something. He took a step towards her and Tifa couldn't help but take a step back. She watched in confusion as Vincent took a deep breath, and then approached her faster. Soon, she felt warmth enclosing her body. Unknowingly, she had closed her eyes amidst is all, and upon opening them, she realized that she was enclosed in his arms. She could feel his muscular chest and arms around her, but before her mind really registered anything, it was over and Vincent was retrieving back to the campsite leaving Tifa with a grin that spread across her face from ear to ear.
Very long chapter! YES! Hehe, this is actually a rewritten version. Somewhat. My collection of takeouts are growing!
Thanks for all those who've reviewed so far. I seriously seriously appreciate it! You guys make me feel soo happy! Anyhow, more coming! I have several ideas, I just need to put them together...But sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I had to figure out what was going to happen in the next chapter before I submitted this. But i got it now!
Bishojo Beauty