No Day But Today
DISCLAIMER: I do not own RENT or anything affiliated with it.
A/n: Good grief, Abby. Read my mind why don't you! Thanks again to DamagedGlory for the hugs… Oooh, trivia time peoples! Alright, here's the question: Two members of the OBC have appeared in episodes of Law & Order: SVU (not counting Jesse L. Martin, who guest starred in a crossover episode only because he played Greene on regular L&O). First person to tell me names & episodes gets a hug… and a shout-out. Buy you've got to have both! I'll give you one hint – both were major characters in RENT.
Mark looked around the waiting room, nervous. "I changed my mind," he said, getting up and starting to walk out. Collins grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him back.
"Mark, sit. Now," he said, using his teacher voice.
"I can't afford this, Collins," Mark said. "Let's just go."
"I told you, don't worry about the money. It's taken care of." Mark kept trying to get away. "Chill out, boy. Just sit down already." Finally, Mark gave up and sat back down.
"I don't want to do this," Mark said. He stared down at the floor. His head was beginning to hurt. "Seriously, let's get out of here. I'm getting a headache."
"All the more reason to go see the doctor," Collins said. He went back to the magazine he was reading. Mark just leaned back and continued surveying the other people in the room. They all looked so… sick. Mark just sighed and ran his hand through his hair, making it even more of a mess than usual. "It's okay, Mark. Doctors aren't so bad."
"I don't want to do this, seriously."
"You'll regret it if you don't," Collins told him.
"Mark Cohen," a nurse called. Mark didn't move, until Collins pushed him. Then he followed Mark to keep him from running away. The nurse led them into a small exam room and began taking Mark's vitals. When she was done, she smiled. "The doctor will be with you shortly." She turned and walked out, leaving the two men alone.
"Please, let's just leave," Mark begged. Collins was shocked. Mark never begged.
"No way. Now tell me, what's really bugging you?" Collins asked. Mark looked away. He tried to stare out the window, but Collins refused to let it go. "Spill."
"I'm scared. This makes it all real, you know?" Mark asked. Collins nodded.
"Yeah, man. You're preachin' to the choir on that one."
"I don't want to die. I just pretended to accept it… I didn't want to scare the girls," Mark admitted. He looked down at his hands. "I didn't want to admit that you and Roger and Mimi will probably outlive me."
"That's not going to happen," Collins said. "You'd have to get run over or mugged for that to happen."
"A week ago, I would have agreed with you. I have a year… the three of you could have decades," Mark said.
"Or weeks. There aren't any guarantees, Mark. You've seen it just as much as I have," Collins reminded him. Mark just nodded. "And if this doesn't work, at least you have some idea as to when it'll happen. We don't."
"I promised Roger I wouldn't leave him," Mark said. "One night when he was sick… he thought he was dying, and he made me promise not to leave him. He made me promise I wouldn't let him die alone."
"He won't. He has Mimi now," Collins reminded him.
"Mimi's lucky to be alive as it is," Mark said.
"So one day when you're not feeling well, con Maureen or Joanne into being there for him," Collins suggested. Mark just shook his head.
"I'm supposed to be there for him."
"And you have been. You've been there for a hell of a lot more than most people would put up with already. You aren't going to be letting anyone down," Collins said. He could feel a lump rising in his throat. Talking about mortality wasn't exactly something he liked discussing, especially not given the circumstances.
"Where did you get the money?" Mark asked, finally changing the subject.
"Roger begged his mom, and I sort of let it slip to some friends that you needed help," Collins said. Mark looked at him.
"Who?"
"No one special. Just some friends," Collins said.
"Please tell me you didn't call Benny," Mark said.
"We were desperate." Mark sighed and buried his head in his hands.
"I don't want to owe Benny anything," Mark said. "I didn't tell him for a reason."
"Mark, he owes you a hell of a lot more than he can ever pay back," Collins reasoned.
Mark sat down on the subway seat, glad it was the middle of the morning and the cars were mostly deserted. He looked down at the pamphlets full of information in his hands. "There's a meeting in an hour, if you want to go," Collins told him.
"I have a lot of reading to do," Mark replied, holding up the papers.
"Mark, if you ever needed to come, now would be the time," Collins said. Mark just nodded.
"Okay," he replied. He didn't want to argue with Collins about it. "I'll go."
"No camera today, Mark?" Paul asked.
"I'm not really in the mood anymore," Mark replied, sitting down next to Collins. For once, he was glad to see that Mimi and Roger weren't there. Sue, Ali, and Gordon seemed to be the only ones.
"Something's bothering you?" Paul asked. Mark just nodded. He turned as he heard the door open, to see Mimi and Roger come in. He closed his eyes and sighed. "You're more than welcome to talk about it." Mark waited until Mimi and Roger had a chance to sit down.
"I'm dying, and I'm scared as hell," Mark said, barely loud enough for the others to hear.
"When were you diagnosed?" Paul asked, assuming he meant that he had AIDS.
"A week ago. Leukemia," he clarified. Paul just nodded. Mimi, who had sat down next to him, took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "My mom died of breast cancer… they told her they'd caught it early, that her chances were good, but she still died anyway."
"Have you told your other friends?" Paul asked. He knew there were others who didn't come, just from listening to them talk.
"Yeah. I told them I was okay with it, that I'd accepted it," Mark said.
"But you haven't." It was a statement, not a question.
"How do you just accept the fact that you're going to die?"