AN: ok well here ya go abbey! this one is for you gurl! I guess this story aint gonna be a one shot lol

CHAPTER 2

A few months have passed since then, and they have been the happiest of my life. John is so good to me and he never treats me like im his slut. I want to tell him, I want to tell him that I love him, but im scared. I dont understand why I get butterflies when he kisses me, and I dont understand why I blush when he says that he is lucky to have me. I dont think that I have ever felt this strongly for someone, not even Matt. Sometimes he scares me though, when I wake up in the middle of the night and see him shaking in the corner, covered in sweat and hugging his knees to his chest. I dont know why it scared me. It might be because he was so strong and he looked so weak, or maybe because when I would go over to him he would flinch at my touch. He even made me cry one time because he wouldnt stop screaming, but during the day he was fine. I just didnt understand, but my heart was still full of my love for him. I still remember that one time it got really out of hand...

Flashback

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was 2:00, so why did I hear whimpering? I looked around and saw a dark figure in the corner,

" j-john? is that you?" The only response I got was his soft whimpering. I pulled the sheets back and cautiously walked to the corner, as I knelt to the floor I saw Johns sweat covered face. It almost made my jump back in shock, but I kept my control and bushed the back of my hand across his cheek

" shhhh..." I whispered softly into his ear, I was so confused but at that moment all that mattered was calming him down. He loosely wrapped his arms around me and I held him for a while. We had been sitting there for about an hour, when he drifted off to sleep, but before he shut his eyes I could have sworn I heard him whisper "mom"

End Flashback

" John baby! lets go our flight is leaving soon!" I yelled up the stiars, he was so slow and our flight for New York was leaving soon. My bags were already sitting at the door, fully packed and ready to go. Around 10 minutes later he came strolling down the stairs with his bags and I rushed him out the door, locking it before I got into the passengers seat and John started the car.

" Took ya long enough John!" I said playfuly punching his arm, he smirked and tickled me with his free hand. I laughed and turned on the radio, John was very open minded so I was able to listen to rock without a fight. I smiled to myself seeing John mouthing the words, it wouldnt be long before he changed into a punk. Over the past months he was already changing, his clothes wernt as, hip hopish, and his song was now a heavy metal song. When we arrived at the airport, we just made it onto the flight, our seats were next to Hunter and Shawn. Now they were a funny pair, this flight would be very entertaining with them next to us. I looked over to John, he was staring off into space. Without looking at me he grabbed my hand and started to stroke it gently. I smiled, it was these moments that made me want to tell him I love him, because I could tell that even though he was in La- La land he still was aware of my presence. That made me so happy, I leaned my head on his shoulder and felt his arm wrap around my waist, pushing my shirt up a little so he could rub his hand across my bare skin. It felt so good, he didnt go up my shirt, he just kept slidding his hand back and forth across my exsposed waist. After a while I just happen to glance around the plane, and I see everyones eyes on us! It made me nervous but I just sat there and eventualy feel asleep. Hours later I awoke to John shaking me, telling me that we were there. I felt a breeze of cool air hit me as I walked out of the airpoet. It had been a long day and now I wanted to go to the hotel and sleep more.

THE NEXT DAY ON RAW

I sat in John's locker room, he was in the bathroom for a long time now and I was wondering what the hell he was doing. I didnt hear the shower on so I just opened the door, and there sat john cutting his thigh with a razor. I stood there horrified, I never noticed but there were hundreds of other cuts across his thigh too. For a while he just stared at me,then he dropped the blood covered razor into the sink, and walked past me like nothing had happened. I was so stunned that I was frozen until he walked out the door for his match, then I fell to the ground still taking it all in.

25 minutes later. . . .

I had gone back to the hotel because, I didnt have a match and John left to the ring without me. When he came through that door, he immediatly went for the bathroom. I jumped up and got in the way of the door, I could see pain in his eyes.

" Get out of the way Lita..." He sounded like he had nothing left to say to me

" No I wont John" He grabbed my srm and tried to throw me out of the way, but I wouldnt move. I could tell he was getting angry, but I refused to move. He attempted again to throw my body away from the door, but he failed. He raised his arm, and balled his hand to a fist. I looked at him with tears in my eyes,

"Goddamit Lita.. dont make me do this... get out of the way..I dont want to hurt you..." I saw tears start to fall from his too, I closed my eyes and waited for the worst, but nothing came. When I opened my eyes John's fist was inches from my face. Thank god he didnt do it, or else I would be out cold. Insted he dropped down his hand and fell to the ground. I knelt down too, and he buried his head into my chest sobbing, His arms were wrapped around me tight, and mine were rested on his back.

" Li- Lita... I cant stop... I cant do it," he sobbed " I...killed her... all those years ago...I killed mom.." I was crying too now as I held him saying it would be alright. I had asked Batista a few weeks ago about his mom,

Flashback

" he killed his mother?" I asked shocked at this information

" yes... by accident... he knocked over a candle and the whole house erupted into flames. His mother burned to death" Batista looked sad. I couldnt blame him that was a sad way to remember your mother.

" Lita be carful... watch him closely.. He acts fine but under the surface he is falling apart. I have shared a room with him and woke up too him screaming. Watch over him please...

End Of Flashback

He was falling apart. What could I do?

TO BE CONTINUED. . . . . . . . .