AN: ok whooo third chapter! hey abbey will you do me a favor and write a SLASH about tanker and jeff hardy? PLEASE! ok review!

Chapter 3

"John let me see your leg. I want to see how bad it is..." I whispered softly into his ear, he was very cautious as he slipped off his shorts and reveled his thigh to me. It was the sickest thing I had ever seen, There were at least two hundred cuts, most were already scars. I traced my finger across one of his fresh cuts making him whimper a little in pain. Why does he do this to himself? It was not his fault, but I guess I would feel guilty too.

" John... you have to stop. Your totally out of control...this is sick John. I cant let you do this to yourself anymore. You need to understand that it was not your fault, you were only eight years old. You didnt know better, John stop blaming yourself, it was a complete accident." I was close to tears, I could feal them forming. It broke my heart to see this, what he is doing to himself. It seemed like nothing would get through to him, I just didnt know what to do. I felt his eyes on my and lifted my head to look up at him, he slapped my hand off of his leg. I was not supprised though, he lifted himself off of the groung and headed for the kitchen. I heard the drawer open and then the sound of his hand fishing through random items. When he returned there was a yellow razor in his hand, he sat down and put the blade to his bare skin

" John please dont do this ,why are you doing this to yourself? I dont understand, why wont you stop?" I said tears rolling down my cheeks and dropping to the floor, I could tell it was painful for him to see me this way because he loved when I was smiling and having fun. He said it is his greatest joy in life.

" Lita I killed her.. I killed my own mother how can I possibly be forgiven? I know that you will forgive me but, I dont think I ever will. It was my foolishness that killed her and now I punish myself for it." His hand was digging the razor into his skin making it bleed a little bit. He just sat there keeping his eyes on me, the pain didnt seem to effect him, his eyes showed no emotion in them.

" John your bleeding, please stop." I begged him and before i knew it he had dragged the razor across his skin leaving a deep line, and his blood pouring out of it. I lept up and ran into the bathroom looking for a towel, I opened the bathroom closet and grabbed a white handtowel as fast as I could then ran back to him still on the floor, in a daze. I pressed the towel to his open wound and it started to turn red. This man who opened his heart to me when nobody else would, who did everything in his power to make me happy, to make me smile. I just couldnt belive it was all going downhill, but i wouldnt give up because somewhere deep in his heart i know he wants to forgive himself, but his mind is not allowing it to happen.

" L-Lita...I miss her so much... I want her back. Why did it end like that? why did she leave me so soon? I was so younge, she told me not to play with fire, but I never listen and now because of my absentminded self, shes gone." I held his cheek in my hand and felt his face relax to my touch.

" John... I will help you ok? I will help you but you have to agree that hurting yourself is not solving anything, talking is what you need. I will listen for as long as it takes, and then we can start over. John Ive wanted to tell you this for a long time but i was scared and im not anymore, John... I love you with all my heart. your the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am truly thankful for the joy that you have given me." he didnt respond but I saw in his eyes that he was finally ready to move on and try to forgive himself. that night he held me so tight I could hardly breathe, but when he fell asleep next to me in bed his grip loosened but still stayed firm. I knew that he loved me as much as I loved him, and now Im going to make him happy.

ONE MONTH LATER

" Here is your winner JOHN CENA !" I jumped into the ring and into Johns arms, kissing him passionatly, he had just beaten Umaga ending his amazing winning streak of 13 months. Vince had booked this match to punish John because he has formed an alliance with DgenerationX, He was not a full memeber but he was the guy who evened the score when Shawn and Hunter were attacked by the Spirit Squad or Vince and Shane. Haha John had just beaten Umaga and Vince's plan backfired on his sorry ass. Me and John walked up the ramp, stoping at the end to give a wave to the approving crowd. They really loved John, I couldnt blame them...

" haha I bet Vince is so pissed! nice job man, you beat that fuckers ass all over the place!" said Hunter greeting us back stage, with Shawn Michaels trailing behind him laughing. " Well we gotta go man, so watch our backs will ya? In case the Spirit Jackoffs decide to try and jump us, ok man?" John nodded his head and slapped him high-five before thier music started and they walked through the curtin, the fans arupting into cheers. The crowd loved John , but they were crazy about DX. They were loyal to Shawn and Hunter. He put his arm around my waist and started to lead me to the locker room.

" hey John! Whats up?" We turned around to see the ever so peppy Alexis Laree standine there a smile spread across her lips

(AN: ok " alexis Laree" is not a made up person alexis laree is " mickie james" but Alexis is Mickies real name so I will be using that thank you" ) Oh god this girl was so annoying, she was always hitting on John and smiling at him. It pissed me off so much. if she did it now I was gonna beat her to death. Even John looked annoyed, and he was one of the nicest people you would ever meet, but this bitch got on everyone's nerves. Vince only kept her because she gives him "special favors", It made me sick to think that girls like her could call themselfs divas. Me and Trish worked our asses off to become a WWE superstar, and this bitch got it so easy.

" Oh hey Alexis, hows it goin?" John said trying to sound enthusiastic, and failing miserabley, but Alexis didnt notice she was too excited to be in his presence. how pathetic...

" Oh it is going great john, wonderful! I have to go now i gotta title match against trishy so bye!" and just like that she went bouncing off, through the curtin like a compleate moron.