No Day But Today
DISCLAIMER: I do not own RENT or anything affiliated with it.
A/n: Okay, so I didn't write for an entire day. And it felt good to not have to deal with this for a while. But I'm back, and I'm going to finish this story. So, here goes.
Mark stared into his camera for what could very well be the last time. "It's going to be August soon," he said. He sighed. "It's been a long few months… the second round of chemo wasn't as bad as the first, but I'm really scared about what's going to happen now. It's tomorrow.
"Collins and Roger have decided to get this place clean while I'm in the hospital. They've already managed to coat the entire bathroom in Lysol… the entire loft reeks. I told them if they came anywhere near my room with that shit, I'd kick their butts. They don't believe me.
"Liz hasn't come back since the night she and Collins found me in the bathroom. It's been more than two months… at this point, I don't even want her to come back. I thought she was different, you know? But just like everyone else, as soon as the shit hits the fan, she runs. Sure, Mo stuck around for a while, but she was with Joanne by that point anyway. Roger and Collins keep trying to make me tell them why I was so ready to just let myself die… I couldn't tell them that every relationship I've ever had has been a load of shit. They don't need to know that Mo wasn't the first person to leave me for another woman." Mark turned off the camera and laid down on the bed. He closed his eyes and unwittingly allowed himself to fall asleep.
"Mark?" Roger asked, knocking on the door of his friend's bedroom. When he didn't get an answer, he pushed the door open enough to stick his head in. Mark was asleep, and his camera was sitting out on the tripod. He sighed and went in to put away the camera.
"Roger?" Mark said, opening his eyes just enough to see his friend.
"Yeah. Need something?"
"No." Mark closed his eyes again. After a moment he force himself to get up. He took the camera out of Roger's hands and unloaded the film.
"What are you doing?" Roger asked.
"I've got some editing to do," Mark replied.
"You need to get some sleep," Roger reminded him.
"It won't take long. I've just got to add this to what I'm working on," Mark told him. Roger just nodded.
"Don't stay up too late," Roger said, walking out. Mark sighed and started working on the film again, keeping the sound turned off. He worked for an hour or so, editing and cutting together the different scenes he'd filmed over the course of the past week. When he was finished, he wound it onto a reel and put it in a plastic case. Then he wrote a quick note and taped it to the top of the film canister. He hid it under some of his clothes, where Roger would find it if anything happened to him. He'd left instructions in the letter, just in case. "You're still up," Roger told him, standing in the doorway.
"Just finished," Mark told him. He went over and got into his bed. Roger walked over and retrieved the canister from underneath the clothes. "Rog, just leave it."
"You'll lose it if you keep it there," Roger told him. He glanced down at the letter taped to it. "What's this?"
"Roger, it's nothing." Roger quickly read the letter.
"What is this?" he asked, looking up.
"It's nothing, okay?"
"Mark, nothing's going to happen to you. What is this?" Roger asked.
"It's just a film I made. Just put it back," Mark said. Roger opened it and started unrolling it, looking at the frames. "Roger, just put it back, please."
"Not until you tell me what this is." Mark looked away from his friend, and suddenly Roger understood. "This was your way of saying goodbye."
"You weren't supposed to find it unless something happened," Mark said. Roger sat down on the bed next to Mark.
"Mark, nothing is going to happen. You're going to be fine." Roger took the canister and shoved it under the bed. "It's going there, and once you're home we're burning it."
"I'm not burning it. I can use that footage for something else," Mark said.
"Mark, it's morbid," Roger replied.
"But it's my film. I'm not going to burn it. Just forget about it, okay? It's no big deal," Mark told him, lying down. "Just go do whatever it is you do at night."
"Goodnight, Mark," Roger said, getting up and walking out.
"Night, Roger," Mark mumbled, closing his eyes and going back to sleep.
Roger sat there and held Mimi's hands in his own, as Collins sat reading a James Joyce novel. Maureen and Joanne had gone down to the cafeteria for coffee. Mimi laid her head down on Roger's shoulder, and he kissed her forehead. "How are you?" Roger asked.
"I'm fine. How are you holding up? I mean, he's your best friend," Mimi said.
"I'm fine. I just wish they would tell us something." Almost as if on cue, the doctor came out.
"We're done with the first part of the procedure. They just attached his IV, and it should be done in about an hour. Everything is going just fine," the doctor told them. They smiled and thanked him. Maureen and Joanne walked up just as he left.
"Well, what did he say?" Maureen asked.
"Everything's fine. They've started his IV and it should be done in about an hour," Collins told her. She and Joanne just nodded and passed out the coffees. They all sat there, drinking in silence.
"I didn't realize it would take this long," Joanne said, glancing at her watch.
"What time are you supposed to be back at work?" Mimi asked. She shook her head.
"It isn't important. I'll just call in, say I'm not feeling well or something," Joanne said, pulling out her cell phone. She got up and walked towards the window at the other end of the waiting room.