They had grown up together and watched their friends die one by one. They had joined the academy and learned how to become shinigami together. They'd both joined the gotei 13, her a little sooner than he. He'd had to give her up for what he had hoped was a better life. They went their separate ways, but they were still close enough. Then, she had left him behind to go to Karakura. When he finally came for her, it was to capture her. It wasn't until later that he realized he'd captured her to die...
For a long time he was in denial. Byakuya-taichou did nothing to save her. She didn't even truly look like she wanted to be saved, but he should have known better than to trust that calm appearance. Hadn't he known her most of his life? Hadn't he run around Rukongai with her, struggling to survive? What kind of a friend, hell, what kind of a man was he, to sit back and watch? He had to do something...
He had nearly died twice trying to do just that. Something. Once to do his duty and keep her prisoner and a second time trying to set her free. He had fought Kurosaki Ichigo to prevent her from escaping. He had trained hard and fought his own taichou to save her. He had lost both times, and the result was the same. She was going to die. But instead, Ichigo... He saved her as the betrayals of their own were discovered. Just like that, after all the blood and sweat he had lost, she was saved by someone else. It was like saying he had never been good enough. All that he had worked for was for nothing. As a man, he felt jealousy sharper than the pains inflicted on him in battle.
Lying in bed with Zabimaru beside him, he realized just how pathetic he was being. Jealous of another man because he'd done what he had set out to do. Didn't he even ask Ichigo himself to save her because he knew he wasn't strong enough? He had, and despite the idiocy of it all, he secretly loathed the idea. Asking someone else to do his job...
Seeing them together, laughing and fighting, just like how they used to be, he wondered how it all could have happened so fast. When had he been replaced in her life so completely it was like he had never been there? The green glow of jealousy spread. But all at once, he realized it was alright. Maybe it was the boot to the head Rukia had given him for being so distant lately or it was the realization that he and Ichigo had more in common than he would have thought. He leaned towards the orange-haired boy as he rubbed the imprint of the sole of Rukia's shoe off his face.
"Oi, Ichigo. You better not fuck it up," he growled. The other man looked confused and indignant, but Renji turned his attention elsewhere.
He supposed that if he had to choose a man to lose Rukia to, at least it was one who could protect her where he had failed. Even if it ended up with him only knowing Rukia in passing again, he knew that there would always be a small place in her heart for him, if not the bottom of her foot.
Note : Man. This was tough to write. I don't even know when this idea came into my head, but it was easier to write than Hitsugaya's, which stalled after 4 lines and had to be jump started 3 times. :sighs: I'm hoping that Byakuya wasn't the pinnacle of my self-reflective works. 0.o If it turns out to be, I'll stop and work on my other stuff…