Pizza, Pepsi and Pinches

By Linda J.

Rated PG

Summery: Gaz thinks its time for Zim to appreciate Earthly cuisine. Please note that like my first IZ fic, this is a short story meant to only talk about one main subject plot.

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine; I won't be making any money from this.

CH1

Lunch time at skool was always one of Zim's most dreaded times of the day. He stood there in the lunchroom looking for somewhere quiet to sit but with no luck. He scanned table after table only to see the drones of skool children either point at him, whispering into each other's ear or just pretend not to see him standing there at all. 'Pathetic life forms; they should be so lucky as to have the privilege of sitting next to me.'

Then finally much to his joy he saw Dib's sister Gaz sitting alone at the furthest table in the back. She had already eaten her meal and was busy drawing in her notebook.

'Perfect.' He said to himself and began to proudly strut over to her. He offered her no greeting as he sat down on the opposite side of the table and put his tray in front of him. He then began to just stare at it. Gaz meanwhile continued to doodle away never looking up at him. The two sat there in silence very content with this arrangement. Then out of nowhere Dib slid onto the bench next to Gaz and directly across from Zim.

"Hello Zim!" he taunted his foe. Dib then noticed that Zim wasn't touching his food.

"What's wrong Zim? Does Earth food burn holes in your stomach? Or maybe it just turns into a deadly poison that would kill you on contact!"

"Nonsense," the alien denied. He then looked down at his tray and sneered. "I just care for any of this garbage."

"Oh really?" Dib questioned skeptically. "So, you don't like Salisbury Steak?"

Zim stiffened his posture and defiantly replied. "Hate it!"

"And you don't like carrot sticks?" Dib continued on with the interrogation.

"Not a bit!" the alien insisted.

"How about mash potatoes?" Dib went on.

"Can't stand them," Zim begin to grin seeing how easy it was to keep up this ruse.

"Or your fruit cup?" the flustered Dib stubbornly refused to let the issue go.

"I detest it with every fiber of my being!" Zim was quite sure he would win this game of wits hands down. Dib looked down one more time at Zim's tray.

"Not even your chocolate pudding?" he asked with disbelief.

Zim folded his arms over his chest feeling the joy of victory. "I L-o-o-oathe it!" But suddenly Dib jumped up and pointed an accusing at his foe.

"A-ah! I caught you! See Gaz there IS no chocolate pudding on Zim's try. He doesn't even know what's on the plate in front of him!"

"You brought a sack lunch from home today Dib. For all you know that brown stuff oozing off of his mashed potatoes and Salisbury steak IS chocolate pudding." Gaz mentioned, never looking up from her notebook as she drew on.

"Oh come on! Who puts pudding on mashed potatoes and Salisbury steak?" her brother argued with her.

"Besides Zim never eats his lunch! I've never seen him take so much as a bite of his food. NOT ONE! It's…it's like he's afraid of it or something. See…" Dib suddenly grabbed one of the carrot sticks from Zim's tray and shoved it in the little green guy's face.

"AH-H! Get it away! Get it away!" Zim screamed and drove under the table.

"Leave him alone Dib," Gaz softly growled in an irritated tone.

"Why are you on his side?" Dib gasped in shock.

"I'm not; I just don't want to be on yours."

Dib turned his attention back to Zim. "You don't belong in this world Zim, and the more you insist on acting like an alien the sooner it will be when they figure out you really are one. And on that day I will rejoice! I will sing and laugh and dance and…well you get the idea."

Dib stood up to throw away his trash leaving Gaz and Zim sitting alone at the table once more.

"He's right you know," Gaz chastised the alien as he continued to watch his foe walk over to the trash can and leave the lunchroom. "If you don't start blending in a little better, as dumb as people are around here, eventually they'll start to suspect something."

"Well what do you suggest I do?" Zim jeered in frustration.

Suddenly Gaz wrote something down on the corner of her paper, tore it off and slid it over the table to Zim.

"Meet me here at 5 o'clock. It attracts an older crowd so we don't have to worry about any of our classmates seeing us there." Zim looked down at the small piece of paper to read the address she had written down.

"What will I find here?" he looked up at Gaz and curiously asked. Finally she looked up from her doodling long enough to make eye contact with him.

"The saying goes, "when in Rome do as the Romans do". Well, when on earth you eat pizza!"