Special People
Disclaimer: I own nothing, damnit!
Part 4: Mr. I-DON'T-Have-a-Problem, Mr. I Give a New Meaning to Dysfunctional, and Lord of the Dress…
'Special' people are attracted to other, sometimes, 'even more special-er people'. It's an unwritten rule or something, I guess. Well, before I go on rambling like one of those 'special' people, I shall tell you what I am here to say. Also, as a gesture of thanks for listening, to you I give you this cute one of a kind plushy of a cactar—or is it a tonberry, I'm not really sure. It's green, deal with it.
Today on our guardian roast, we take a look at her lady summoner's father and his two guardians. I had the pleasure of meeting these people on many an occasion in my youth and even in my early adulthood. Lucky me. Anyhow, we will first examine the so-called legendary guardian Auron, who I have named Mr. I DON'T Have a Problem. By definition, or at least mine, a problem is something that a person would have no control over and instead is vice versa. What is this problem, you may be wondering. Well, to be blunt, this man's problems are alcohol, deeply seeded issues manifested in a violent temperament and need for an over-sized sword, and probably constipation. Come one, how else do you explain his grudge on all that exists? It's not like his an UNSENT or anything! They are all a spiral of booze, anger, and more booze…
Next, we shall look at Auron's fellow guardian to her lady summoner's father, Jecht. I have come to call this idiot Mr. I Give a New Meaning to Dysfunctional due to the rumors I have heard about his treatment of his family (from a certain two other guardians), property of others, and over all existence. I have even heard that he abandoned his wife and son to become Sin, though I hear that they maybe more than meer rumors. Whatever the case, this man does give a new meaning to dysfunctional.
Finally, we touch upon the subject of her lady summoner's father, the not so great lord Braska or as I have so affectionately come to know him as Lord of the Dress, a variation on another not so pleasant or politically correct name for him. I am well aware of the ideas circulating concerning my choice in clothing as well as my sexuality, but this man has even me topped! Look at his robes, do they not scream cross dresser! At very least they yell "I molest something or another under these things in my free time." For this I am afraid, very afraid, so I end it here. For the love of all things good and fluffy, we shall end it here for today. Perhaps, we shall continue tomorrow, perhaps not, this I do not know, but rest assured that whatever the outcome, these people are and will always will be SPECIAL PEOPLE.
A/N: Well, these are all of Yuna's guardians so logically that would mean that the story is over—OR IS IT! MWHAHAHA! Next are Seymour's views on anyone else I can think of: probably Yunalesca and even Maechen (isn't that a type of ramen?). If you can think of anyone else and remind me some savory moments to bash I would be happy to oblige. Hey, if worst comes to worst, there are always the Aeons!